irren_echo's recent activity
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Comment on Executive (dys)function flavors? in ~talk
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Comment on Executive (dys)function flavors? in ~talk
irren_echo LinkHaha yeah, I'll bet. Those tests should all come with comment boxes next to each question, because I've never met an ND person who didn't feel compelled to explain in detail why they answered the...There's an exhausting amount of nuance I could add to the above.
Haha yeah, I'll bet. Those tests should all come with comment boxes next to each question, because I've never met an ND person who didn't feel compelled to explain in detail why they answered the way they did.
Since you said having a name for it would help, and you already have an appointment lined up, I'd suggest getting tested for autism as well. And in the mean time, a question to ponder: how much of your life is manual (as opposed to automatic)?
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Comment on What are some stories of progressivism gone wrong in implementation? in ~society
irren_echo Link ParentAs an autistic with 'autism and abnormal psychology' as a special interest, I have actually lost (what I thought were) really solid friendships because I implied that they might be on the...As an autistic with 'autism and abnormal psychology' as a special interest, I have actually lost (what I thought were) really solid friendships because I implied that they might be on the spectrum. The only fight I've ever had with my best friend (of over 10 years, who was around for and supportive of my late in life dx) was when I mentioned I thought he was probably autistic. He was livid. Triggered, if you will (and I will, because that's exactly what it was. I'm still not allowed to bring it up after several years). The internalized ableism can run real fucking deep for some people, and I have had to learn to keep my mouth shut way more than I'd like to (because ohmygod it explains so much, it helps so much to know and have that context for oneself, and it's so fucking obvious to me. YOU'RE PEGGING MY SPECTROMETER OVER HERE, LET ME HELP YOU).
I've also had the opposite response, where my casual chatter about symptoms and tells and just like, interacting with someone as though they already knew they were autistic was really helpful and they sought out meds and therapy about it. I mean, I also probably said the words "you're autistic" at some point, so it's not just a matter of subtlety or lack thereof. Some people just have really big feelings about it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Comment on Major storm sweeps across Nordic countries in ~enviro
irren_echo Link ParentThere's something very sad to me about them just leaving his corpse to lie as it fell. With the live stream still going.... :(There's something very sad to me about them just leaving his corpse to lie as it fell. With the live stream still going.... :(
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Comment on Gift recommendations in ~life
irren_echo Link ParentThey're not always available, but I love that they sell Strandbeest fossils! https://www.strandbeest.com/fossilsThey're not always available, but I love that they sell Strandbeest fossils!
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (November 2025) in ~health.mental
irren_echo Link ParentAwesome! Glad to hear you're feeling better :)Awesome! Glad to hear you're feeling better :)
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (November 2025) in ~health.mental
irren_echo Link ParentBeen there, it sucks. Kinda there now, come to think of it, but it's not quite as bad this time as it has been in the past. No need to respond, but something to think about: on your productive and...Been there, it sucks. Kinda there now, come to think of it, but it's not quite as bad this time as it has been in the past.
No need to respond, but something to think about: on your productive and middling days, do you find yourself pushing to accomplish as much as possible in preparation for the bad days? It could be burnout, and you're not giving yourself sufficient time to recuperate.
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Comment on Please help me pick my next book to read! in ~books
irren_echo Link ParentI haven't read Life, but I have read a couple others by Carrère and they were great! One was a biography-ish of Philip K Dick, and the other was The Mustache. The latter is fairly short, and...I haven't read Life, but I have read a couple others by Carrère and they were great! One was a biography-ish of Philip K Dick, and the other was The Mustache. The latter is fairly short, and available for free on archive.org, but there's also this video if you'd rather go that route: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2CJowTpZTiw
I'd say read and then watch with The Mustache, but either will probably help you decide if you're up for Life. (Lemme know how Life is if you read it, and how urgently it should be added to my TBR list)
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Comment on So I'm autistic after all in ~health.mental
irren_echo Link ParentAnd see, this is why those tests aren't the end-all, be-all for diagnosis. By their nature the questions have to be broad, and by our nature they need to be specific for us to feel like we...I never even considered my rumination as pointing to autism
And see, this is why those tests aren't the end-all, be-all for diagnosis. By their nature the questions have to be broad, and by our nature they need to be specific for us to feel like we answered properly. IMO the biggest improvement that could (and should) be made to those tests is adding a comments section for the test taker, so we can fill in all those edge cases or "unnecessary" specifics in our answers (the desire for/use of which is, in itself, a pretty strong indicator, lol).
But yeah, I'll bet she was just looking out for you. Couldn't hurt to ask, though! Worst case you just look "more" autistic haha.
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Comment on So I'm autistic after all in ~health.mental
irren_echo LinkI'm wondering if the ICD-10 dx is related to the absolute state of things in the US right now. It's always been a thing for doctors to avoid formalizing certain dxs for the safety of the patient,...I'm wondering if the ICD-10 dx is related to the absolute state of things in the US right now. It's always been a thing for doctors to avoid formalizing certain dxs for the safety of the patient, especially if there's nothing directly useful in having that on paper. For example, a friend was telling me recently about his former workplace wherein the stigma attached to mental health issues requiring meds was such that if you went to the on site doctor and said you were depressed, they'd be all "you're probably fine, but have you ever smoked? Oh cool, I'll prescribe some Wellbutrin to help you quit smoking," pretty much regardless of your answer. Wanting to quit smoking=good, being depressed=liability. Wouldn't surprise me if a similar thing is happening here.
Also, they didn't need to give you a bunch of tests, because a) see above, and b) you fixated, you ruminated, you went back multiple times and multiple times asked the same question until you got an answer that felt clear enough. Not to get "the answer you want," mind you; it was obviously the ambiguity that was the problem, and that's a very autistic trait. Combined with whatever else they've seen from you, I can't imagine there was much doubt.
So congrats, welcome to the club :)
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Comment on What common misunderstanding do you want to clear up? in ~talk
irren_echo Link ParentTor, is that you? Lol https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wYaKoDyIvWA&pp=0gcJCfsJAYcqIYzvTor, is that you? Lol
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wYaKoDyIvWA&pp=0gcJCfsJAYcqIYzv
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Comment on Who’s playing Blood on the Clocktower? in ~games.tabletop
irren_echo Link ParentSocial deduction games always make me feel so unmoored. I get why people love them and I wish I did too, but man.... I feel like I can never get my bearings and it's just so deeply uncomfortable....Social deduction games always make me feel so unmoored. I get why people love them and I wish I did too, but man.... I feel like I can never get my bearings and it's just so deeply uncomfortable. It's like all the worst parts of socializing with strangers and TTRPGs rolled into one and I just fucking cannot.
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Comment on Would someone be willing to help me with a Godot project? (4.4.1) in ~games
irren_echo Link ParentCool, I'll look into that, thanks!Cool, I'll look into that, thanks!
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Comment on Would someone be willing to help me with a Godot project? (4.4.1) in ~games
irren_echo Link ParentLol you should've seen it when they were PNGs! I'm not looking for someone to do it for me, I just need a little guidance. I had no coding experience before this, so while I've read through pages...Your asset bundle aMAZEing.pck is 202MiB. That's a lot.
Lol you should've seen it when they were PNGs!
I'm not looking for someone to do it for me, I just need a little guidance. I had no coding experience before this, so while I've read through pages like the one you linked (many times) I'm still struggling to internalize what's being said. So like, do you have a recommendation for which file type I should be using for the art images? I know there are tradeoffs for each, but where's the happy medium between image quality and size?
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Comment on Would someone be willing to help me with a Godot project? (4.4.1) in ~games
irren_echo Link ParentOh my god, you're amazing! I can't wait to poke at this, thank you!!Oh my god, you're amazing! I can't wait to poke at this, thank you!!
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Comment on Would someone be willing to help me with a Godot project? (4.4.1) in ~games
irren_echo LinkOk, so. I'm trying to build a walk-through gallery for my art in Godot, link is where we're at so far. This is my first such project, and I'm very much still stumbling my way through, so please...Ok, so. I'm trying to build a walk-through gallery for my art in Godot, link is where we're at so far. This is my first such project, and I'm very much still stumbling my way through, so please assume you're addressing any suggestions to a moron lol.
The Issues (roughly in order of importance):
-mouse capture(?): I think this is the term here, for using mouse movements to move the camera. It works fine in the editor, and it looks like (part of?) the code is there for it, but clearly something is missing. The player aspect was a prefab thing from the asset library, I did not code it myself. (With the player I'd also like to be able to handle stairs w/o jumping, but that's less important right now)
-black boxes: you can (hopefully) see the one jpeg that's loading correctly, and all those other black squares are supposed to be like that. It seems like this might be a known issue, with one suggestion being to resize to a multiple of 4.... Problem is 1) what/where exactly am I resizing, because I'm only seeing a scale transform option (and I assume we're taking pixels?), and 2) I tried resizing one that way (scale transform) to be the same as its neighbor (which was showing correctly) and now neither show.
-load time: it takes so long to load, and I feel like there must be something I'm doing wrong there, but I have no idea what I can cut out/change/do differently to make the whole thing less bloated.
-mobile controls: I haven't looked too much into this one yet, but might as well throw it in while we're at it.
Those are my current pain points, explained to the best of my ability. Happy to clarify if necessary, and just because I said I tried something doesn't mean I tried it correctly; no offense will be taken if we need to start with a "turning it off and on again" equivalent.
(Idk where to put this, or how to tag it, so mods feel free to move/change as desired)
Thanks!
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Would someone be willing to help me with a Godot project? (4.4.1)
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Comment on Looking for surreal horror/mindbending in ~books
irren_echo Link ParentYeah, as Apple said, first time through just follow where and when it leads. If you read it again, it can be fun to wander more freely and see if you pick up anything new, but for now just sit...Yeah, as Apple said, first time through just follow where and when it leads. If you read it again, it can be fun to wander more freely and see if you pick up anything new, but for now just sit back and enjoy :)
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Comment on It's time we talked about Disco Elysium, again in ~games
irren_echo LinkJeffiot has a great one, too https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Phns6c7j_mMJeffiot has a great one, too
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Comment on Victories and challenges: An A[u]DHD community and support fortnightly thread #5 in ~health.mental
irren_echo Link ParentHonestly, I think the most important thing for all of these concerns is just letting her lead. Talk to her about about meds (and be as objective as possible); it's an option that she's free to...Honestly, I think the most important thing for all of these concerns is just letting her lead. Talk to her about about meds (and be as objective as possible); it's an option that she's free to choose, or not. It's an option that doesn't have to be all-or-nothing (she can take it as-needed, or everyday, or sometimes everyday, and then not for a while), and if you see she's struggling a casual "did you take your meds today?" to help her tie cause to effect (no judgement is important, so if the answer is no then a simple "ok" or "it might help a bit" is all that's needed from you). Help her keep track of her body (on and off meds, as unobtrusively as possible) to watch for side effects and such ("have you noticed if physical symptom happens when you do/don't take it?" "Is there anything you did differently today that you think might be causing it?" etc).
Just generally keeping lines of communication as open as possible is going to go a long way. At least, in hindsight that's what I wish I had had the most at her age. Being able to ask questions without getting shut down or punished would've been huge. Not saying you're not doing that already, just pointing it out.
Autism very much is ADHD-adjacent, though; that's why I mentioned it. Honestly, I'll be shocked if they're not eventually determined to be the same thing, with the ADHD being the aspect that can be medically treated, while the autism is just the foundation on which everything is (manually) built.
So, manual vs automatic: this is kinda hard to explain without the immediate back and forth of an IRL conversation, but I'll try.
Why do you do things the way that you do them? At any given point in the day, if someone were to ask "why are you doing it like that?" would you have an answer? How much time have you spent analyzing the steps of a given task, breaking them down to their smallest constituent parts, and optimizing them according to an internal rule set?
Everyone does this to some extent of course, but for NDs every action was, at some point, the result of a conscious decision. Everything is done manually until the correct pattern is established; not so of NTs. They can take a hodgepodge of steps and just do them in any order, to any level of completion, and it's all good. The thing got done. Great. If given that same hodgepodge, an ND will have to sort out the pieces and actively think about how to go about doing the things every time until the correct combination is found (assuming it exists, which it doesn't always), after which point a disruption in said pattern will, at best, throw them off and slow the process, and at worst cause a meltdown/shutdown/crashout because now that whole sorting and thinking and planning routine must be done again from scratch.
That's where the stereotype of ND rigidity comes from; routines conserve bandwidth (/spoons), and the less bandwidth one needs for daily tasks the more is left for the things that can't be made routine. And if something that was routine/automated suddenly isn't, you've lost not only the effort required for execution, but also everything that led up to it (planning, sorting, optimizing, accounting for bad days when things are harder, good days when they're not, extenuating circumstances that may or may not come up, etc).
Does that make some kind of sense?