milkbones_4_bigelow's recent activity
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Comment on Throwing in the towel: The case for surrender in ~humanities
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Comment on Throwing in the towel: The case for surrender in ~humanities
milkbones_4_bigelow Note!!!: While the ideas and perspectives below remain my own, the essay has been developed and refined in collaboration with a Large Language Model (LLM). This note affirms a commitment to...Note!!!: While the ideas and perspectives below remain my own, the essay has been developed and refined in collaboration with a Large Language Model (LLM). This note affirms a commitment to responsible use of emerging technologies in academic and intellectual work. If this is unpalatable to you, the reader, please feel free to stop reading now. This needn’t turn into a discussion on the merits or demerits of such an approach. In my case, I was able to engage in a lively discussion in areas I was already familiar with, which helped me hone the arguments I constructed during a recent conversation with a friend. I would be very interested in other perspectives and to be made aware of any historical inaccuracies that may skew the legitimacy of my position.
Gennady Golovkin's hands are heavy and unrelenting. His white trunks, once pristine, are now stained crimson with the blood of his battered opponent. Gabriel Rosado's legs still move, but his guard has collapsed; he is in survival mode. Referee Steve Smoger's gaze drifts to Rosado's corner, a silent plea in his eyes, and without a word, the towel arcs through the air—a quiet and conscientious surrender.
In boxing, throwing in the towel is an act of mercy. The bout is lost; further punishment serves no purpose. Yet, this concept of surrender is often viewed differently in war—where resistance is elevated as a virtue, and yielding is reviled. Hemingway's famous phrase—that “man is not made for defeat,” insisting that “a man can be destroyed but not defeated”—captures a romanticised vision of the unyielding human spirit. It values endurance and resistance even in the face of destruction. However, this ideal is fundamentally a myth, deeply intertwined with a particular form of male bravado—of which Hemingway himself is a prime example.
This hyper-masculine code glorifies toughness, emotional suppression, and relentless endurance as essential markers of manhood, regardless of the cost. It's a myth that obscures the ethical and practical necessity of surrender in certain circumstances, where yielding may be the more humane and morally responsible choice.
The military, as Rachel Reit and others have documented, is a prime institution where this hypermasculine culture is cultivated and enforced. It shapes soldiers to embody hegemonic masculinity—defined by physical strength, aggression, emotional control, and an unyielding warrior ethos. This culture stigmatises vulnerability and discourages help-seeking, reinforcing a “warrior mentality” that equates surrender with weakness and moral failure. The pressure to conform to these ideals often leads to psychological distress, including elevated rates of PTSD and suicide among service members.
This gendered draconism perpetuates a narrative where resistance—no matter the cost—is valorised as the ultimate expression of masculine honour, while surrender is cast as betrayal, failure, or “unmanly.” Such narratives obscure the complex ethical realities of war and sacrifice, reducing moral judgement to a binary of heroic endurance versus cowardly capitulation.
But this myth, while attractive on the surface, obscures a harsher reality: a man can be both destroyed and defeated. To deny this is to risk glorifying futile sacrifice and needless suffering. The question we must ask is whether surrender, under certain conditions, can be the more ethical act. This is the heart of what might be called Conscientious Surrender—the deliberate, morally responsible choice to yield in order to preserve life, conscience, and future possibility.
This is a plea to interrogate the myth of resistance, especially in an age marked by spiritual desolation. Estranged from community and numbed by screens, many seek solace in grand narratives of sacrifice. To suffer and die for a cause seems noble, even redemptive.
Simone Weil warned against such abstractions: “To love truth is to endure the void, and thus to accept death,” she wrote, adding that “the imaginary is what comforts us”. True moral responsibility begins with sorrow, treating human life as sacred even when ideals demand blood.
History offers complex examples of Conscientious Surrender as ethical strategy.
Denmark’s swift capitulation to Nazi Germany in 1940 preserved cities and culture, enabling an extraordinary rescue of over 7,200 Jews in 1943. This was no passive acquiescence but a strategic choice that preserved the machinery of civil society, allowing for courageous resistance in other forms. Emperor Hirohito’s 1945 surrender, breaking with militarist insistence on death before dishonour, aimed to prevent total annihilation and preserve the possibility of rebuilding. Robert E. Lee’s surrender at Appomattox, despite the Confederate cause’s moral bankruptcy, ended prolonged bloodshed and opened the path to reunification.
Conversely, surrender can facilitate atrocity when divorced from conscience. Vichy France’s collaboration with Nazi Germany led to the deportation of tens of thousands of Jews. Such surrender was a betrayal, not a preservation, of moral responsibility.
Thus, Conscientious Surrender is not inherently redemptive; its moral weight depends on whether it preserves conscience and life or enables cruelty.
Philosophical pragmatism and consequentialism offer useful lenses here. Judging actions by outcomes—reducing suffering, protecting the vulnerable, enabling flourishing—challenges absolutist resistance. Even in Ukraine’s current conflict, where resistance is strategically vital and symbolically profound, there may come a point when continued fighting serves only tragic spectacle. Preservation might then be nobler than pride.
Yet consequentialism alone is insufficient. Kantian ethics, for example, does not prioritise survival or outcomes but insists on moral integrity as an absolute. It demands that one act according to universal maxims, regardless of consequences. This uncompromising focus on duty and principle can feel like conceptual posturing—requiring sacrifice without any guarantee of justice or preservation of life. Kant’s categorical imperative commands adherence to moral law “for duty’s sake,” even if it entails profound personal or collective loss. Such rigid imperatives risk cruelty when they demand sacrifice without pragmatic consideration of human cost.
Ethical judgement, therefore, requires a balance: respecting principles while remaining sensitive to context and consequences. This balance is central to the philosophy of Conscientious Surrender, which recognises that true courage lies in discerning when to fight and when to yield—always with conscience intact.
Judith Butler reminds us that political narratives decide which lives are “grievable.” Heroic stories mourn symbolic deaths while neglecting countless unrecorded ones. Recognising shared vulnerability and embracing nonviolence challenges the sanctification of sacrifice.
Martha Nussbaum’s capabilities approach grounds political morality not in victory or ideology, but in whether individuals can live dignified, meaningful lives. If resistance destroys conditions for dignity—speech, health, movement, affiliation—it becomes morally fraught. Conscientious Surrender may then be a refusal to let ideals demand more than they deserve.
And then, there is the angel.
Angelus Novus, Paul Klee’s haunting figure, was famously interpreted by Walter Benjamin as history’s emblem. The angel looks back at a continuous accumulation of wreckage, longing to repair the past but swept forward by a storm Benjamin calls “progress” (Benjamin, 1940).
Benjamin’s angel critiques the myth of progress as inevitable improvement, revealing it as a force propelling destruction. The angel neither resists nor fights; he witnesses—a powerful image unsettling the conflation of heroism with moral clarity and progress with justice.
Within this framework, the imperative to resist at all costs can become part of the destructive storm driving endless sacrifice. Sometimes, the highest moral act is not defiant resistance but the conscious choice to throw in the towel—to preserve life, mourn loss, and create space for healing. This is the essence of Conscientious Surrender.
When history calls us to fight, Benjamin’s angel urges us to ask: Whom do we fight for? What remains if we win? Who grieves if we lose? If these answers are hollow and the cost unbearable, then perhaps the truest courage lies in opening a hand, not raising a fist.
In an era where resistance is often valorised without limit, this reflection is urgent. The ongoing conflict in Ukraine—marked by heroic resistance and profound suffering—raises difficult questions. If the war becomes unwinnable, if continued fighting only prolongs devastation, when should the moral calculus shift? When does preservation become the highest form of courage?
I accept that this position is neither popular nor particularly palatable. It challenges prevailing narratives that equate resistance with virtue and surrender with failure. Yet I offer it deliberately, precisely because the currency in this case is life, which I hold higher than all else.
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Throwing in the towel: The case for surrender
4 votes -
Comment on [SOLVED] Help identifying a part of a breaking reading chair in ~life.home_improvement
milkbones_4_bigelow Thanks so much :)Thanks so much :)
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Comment on [SOLVED] Help identifying a part of a breaking reading chair in ~life.home_improvement
milkbones_4_bigelow Wow, ninja-level search skills! Thanks so much! Exper Springs look very close to what I'm looking for. Thanks again! :)Wow, ninja-level search skills! Thanks so much! Exper Springs look very close to what I'm looking for. Thanks again! :)
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Comment on [SOLVED] Help identifying a part of a breaking reading chair in ~life.home_improvement
milkbones_4_bigelow Thanks for the nice response! :) That's already a good lead, but as you say, these supports are bound in rubber, I think, and sit in a semicircle groove on either side of the base of the chair....Thanks for the nice response! :) That's already a good lead, but as you say, these supports are bound in rubber, I think, and sit in a semicircle groove on either side of the base of the chair. Sadly, I know little about the chair; I bought it off a friend. I would guess it's from the 1960s, likely German.
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Comment on [SOLVED] Help identifying a part of a breaking reading chair in ~life.home_improvement
milkbones_4_bigelow Happy you got it sorted! :) Sadly, I'm in Europe, but if I ever make it out to Chicago, I'll bring my chair with me. :)Happy you got it sorted! :) Sadly, I'm in Europe, but if I ever make it out to Chicago, I'll bring my chair with me. :)
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Comment on [SOLVED] Help identifying a part of a breaking reading chair in ~life.home_improvement
milkbones_4_bigelow Hi all, hoping this reaches some furniture experts. Long story short, sadly my favorite reading chair is breaking. The supports (the best name I can come up with) are old and will likely need...Hi all, hoping this reaches some furniture experts.
Long story short, sadly my favorite reading chair is breaking. The supports (the best name I can come up with) are old and will likely need replacing imminently. The issue is that I don't know what exactly that part of the chair is called. Perhaps someone could take a look at the images and let me know? I'd be very grateful; thanks in advance. :)
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[SOLVED] Help identifying a part of a breaking reading chair
10 votes -
Comment on Should I boost my monthly ETF investments? (Europe/Germany) in ~finance
milkbones_4_bigelow Thanks for your reply :) May I ask how you arrived at that split?I’m also based in Europe. I do IWDA & EMIM in a 85-15 split to have the broadest possible coverage.
Thanks for your reply :) May I ask how you arrived at that split?
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Comment on Should I boost my monthly ETF investments? (Europe/Germany) in ~finance
milkbones_4_bigelow Thank you for your reply. So, if it were you, would you put the additional 500 into MSCI World?MSCI
Thank you for your reply. So, if it were you, would you put the additional 500 into MSCI World?
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Comment on Should I boost my monthly ETF investments? (Europe/Germany) in ~finance
milkbones_4_bigelow That's the plan in general. I in no way want to try to time the market; rather, I want to follow a boglehead approach. The question was more whether it makes sense to put the extra money into...I am of the opinion that you should stick to your plan regardless of what the markets are doing. It's boring, but if you determined this was the best plan for you, then having an extra 500 a month shouldn't change that. It should just let you reach your goals sooner or have a better retirement.
That's the plan in general. I in no way want to try to time the market; rather, I want to follow a boglehead approach. The question was more whether it makes sense to put the extra money into those ETFs, or is there perhaps something else I could do here in Germany? I appreciate your reply. :)
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Should I boost my monthly ETF investments? (Europe/Germany)
I know most here are US-based, but I thought I'd give this a shot. I've been running a pretty straightforward ETF portfolio through Ergo in Germany for a while now. Here's my current breakdown:...
I know most here are US-based, but I thought I'd give this a shot.
I've been running a pretty straightforward ETF portfolio through Ergo in Germany for a while now. Here's my current breakdown:
- 25% in iShares MSCI EM IMI ESG Screen UCITS ETF
- 25% in iShares MSCI Europe ESG Enhanced UCITS ETF
- 50% in iShares MSCI World SRI UCITS ETF EUR
I've recently freed up an extra €500 monthly that I'm looking to invest and am wondering if it would make sense to just bump up my monthly contribution from €1,000 to €1,500 while keeping the same allocation percentages, or should I consider doing something different with this extra cash?
For context, I've got my emergency fund covered (one year's expenses) and no debt to worry about.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
19 votes -
Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
milkbones_4_bigelow Nice :) I was looking for good resources post watch and there seems to be a lot in the thread there, appreciate the heads up :)Nice :) I was looking for good resources post watch and there seems to be a lot in the thread there, appreciate the heads up :)
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Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
milkbones_4_bigelow Just got done with City Lights (1931). Shocking how funny that film still is :)Just got done with City Lights (1931). Shocking how funny that film still is :)
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Comment on The most profound cosmic horror or weird lit stories you've read that are not Lovecraft or Ligotti in ~books
milkbones_4_bigelow Fully enjoyed this, might be something for you too: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52582116-soft-fruit-in-the-sunFully enjoyed this, might be something for you too: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52582116-soft-fruit-in-the-sun
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Comment on BenQ W1110 3D DLP in ~tech
milkbones_4_bigelow That was my thinking too. Appreciate you giving me the confidence to go ahead.I think if it meets your needs it is not a bad deal. Technology is always improving so it makes sense to spend half of your budget (200+100) and replace later
That was my thinking too. Appreciate you giving me the confidence to go ahead.
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BenQ W1110 3D DLP
Hi people, I have the chance to pick up an unused BenQ W1110 (BenQ HT2050 in the U.S). I don't have any interest in 4k nor 3d, I only need it for 1080p blu ray. It's listed at 200 EUR. Do you...
Hi people,
I have the chance to pick up an unused BenQ W1110 (BenQ HT2050 in the U.S). I don't have any interest in 4k nor 3d, I only need it for 1080p blu ray. It's listed at 200 EUR. Do you think it's a fair price for what I need? Bulb life is only 2,500 hours, but replacements are 100 EUR or so, so not so steep. Anyone out there recommend I hold off? Know of other options? I'd be happy to spend around 600-700 EUR for the right unit. The only primary considerations are that it can produce 1080p, and is quiet (important).
4 votes -
Comment on What are some global projects I can contribute to from my home? in ~talk
milkbones_4_bigelow I'd recommend taking a look at GiveWell's work: https://www.givewell.org/charities/top-charities:I'd recommend taking a look at GiveWell's work: https://www.givewell.org/charities/top-charities:
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Comment on Using work OSX machine while travelling in ~comp
milkbones_4_bigelow I didn't expect this to generate the amount of discussion it has. Lots of great ideas here. Thanks all for your time! Not bringing two laptops is only born of a desire to travel light. I could...I didn't expect this to generate the amount of discussion it has. Lots of great ideas here. Thanks all for your time! Not bringing two laptops is only born of a desire to travel light. I could bring two if I so wished. I was only curious of others in a similar boat. Whatever the case, I hope we all learnt something.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond :)
Out of curiosity, do you think the current Ukraine conflict is one such case where surrender is the correct option?