orbit's recent activity

  1. Comment on What's something you wish people would take more seriously? in ~talk

    orbit
    Link Parent
    Thank you so much for the kind words, it really does mean so much to me. Behind this mostly-anonymous profile I'm able to share my story with the world to try de-stigmatizing the rape of men, but...

    Thank you so much for the kind words, it really does mean so much to me. Behind this mostly-anonymous profile I'm able to share my story with the world to try de-stigmatizing the rape of men, but I definitely wouldn't share that story in it's entirety (or at all) to those around me in person. Maybe someday I'll build up that strength, but today is not that day.

    I'm so sorry that you went through that and couldn't be more thankful that it didn't end up worse for you. You've got a great set of friends who almost certainly saved you from a life changing disaster that night, which isn't to minimize any effects it had on you as is by any means; I'd never wish being drugged against your will on my worst enemy. The fear of not knowing what could happen is soul-crushing, and the fact that you are helpless against whatever happens is absolutely terrifying to the core.

    I felt embarrassed, shamed, and broken, even though I had done nothing wrong.

    This is something I never understood was possible until it happened to me. I didn't comprehend how someone could feel like that while being the victim in the situation who hadn't done anything wrong. I understood feeling scared and traumatized by it, but not really the extent of what that meant. It really does make you feel like you are the one at fault, like if you did one thing differently it wouldn't have happened to you. In reality, if someone wants to take cruel advantage of you in that way, they will find a way and there isn't a whole lot you can do to stop it unfortunately. I know a stranger on the internet like me can't do much to change how you feel, but just know that it absolutely was not your fault in any way, shape, or form; and the same applies to myself.

    Again, thank you so much for your response, I had to hold back tears reading this; it may have happened some years ago, but any time I put it into words it feels like I'm living it all over again, and your kind sentiments really hit home in reinforcing that I can't beat myself up over something that was entirely out of my control. It's easier said than done, but I need to learn to let go and come to terms with what happened, striving to be my best self while possibly sharing my story to those that need to hear it. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

    4 votes

  2. Comment on What's something you wish people would take more seriously? in ~talk

    orbit
    Link
    Rape, and more specifically those where the victim is male. Don't get me wrong, if the victim is female it's just as horrific, but society generally carries an attitude that men "can't" be raped....
    • Exemplary

    Rape, and more specifically those where the victim is male. Don't get me wrong, if the victim is female it's just as horrific, but society generally carries an attitude that men "can't" be raped.

    About 3 or 4 years ago I was drinking some beers with a couple buddies at a friends house. One of the people there drugged me with a 2mg Xanax bar and I blacked out. While blacked out, I was "force-fed" (according to a friend who was there and did nothing to stop it) an orange Tesla ecstasy pill containing roughly 200-250mg of MDMA. That same "friend," who's house we were at, then decided he wanted to go to another friend's house to smoke weed and dropped me and the girl who drugged me off at the beach while blacked out because we were "sloppy" and he didn't feel like taking care of us.

    16 hours later I woke up in the back seat of a car in a RadioShack parking lot at 5am, naked, with her holding me down while having sex with me.

    I immediately got her off of me, not very forcefully but in a confused, ashamed kind of way, and told her to take me home. I got to my house, pupils still dilated from the MDMA, with my parents worried sick due to incoherent texts I had sent them when they asked where I was that night. I had sent very misspelled sentences saying that I was driving and that I was okay and not to worry about me.

    I didn't tell anyone for years. I was disgusted in myself for some reason, and felt dehumanized. I'm a 6 foot tall man and she's maybe 5'2" at most, for reference. I felt as though I couldn't confront her about what had happened, and convinced myself that she must've thought it was consensual when it was far from it. I began drinking heavily, no less than a handle of bottom-shelf vodka every 2 days to myself, for the next 2 and a half years. I never told any friends of mine in fear that I'd be mocked and ridiculed because "men can't be raped", and if they could, surely they must be weak.

    Eventually I started going to Alcoholics Anonymous, and after a few months I decided to share that in a meeting. Let me tell you, it felt like I lifted a gorilla off my back, finally. I got sober for a few months, but have since then been struggling with my alcoholism and poly-drug addiction; what was once a coping mechanism had turned into the only way I know how to live comfortably in my own skin. I've been to rehab, got some time clean, graduated rehab, then relapsed in secret and have since been using daily just to feel like myself.

    But I feel as though I never will be myself again. I was far from innocent when the incident took place and had dabbled in drugs casually before that, but I loved myself. I knew who I was inside, I did things I enjoyed, and I was kind and truthful to friends and family alike. I was curious and eager to begin new challenges. I was someone you'd want to call a friend. I was me.

    I don't know who I am anymore. She took a piece of me with her that day, and I'm not sure if it will ever be returned to it's rightful place. Most of my life looks good on paper right now; stable office job, beautiful and loving girlfriend of over a year, school could be better but it's not the end of the world, you get it. But I feel empty inside. I'm a shell of my former self. That day I lost the pep in my step, the charisma and drive that made me me.

    I can't blame her for my drinking or the drug abuse that resulted from what happened, that's ultimately on me and my poor coping mechanisms and addictive personality. But I do blame her for taking away a crucial part of my personality, one I probably cannot get back for the rest of my life.

    "But why didn't you go to the police?"

    Because I'm a man, and men can't get raped. Men enjoy sex, regardless of who it is, right? I've used drugs before, surely free drugs are a welcome gift... right?

    "Why don't you talk to her about it?"

    She has moved on and probably didn't think twice about it. Telling her would either result in a years-late apology over text, her completely forgetting that the day even happened, or her telling me I'm a liar and to never speak of anything of the sort again.

    I will never get closure. I will always be someone who has been drugged against their will and raped in the back of a car in a RadioShack parking lot. I may learn to better cope with my past guilt and emotions, but I will never be myself again.

    Please, listen to men when they say they have been raped. Don't immediately assume the accused is guilty, but please just listen to their story. I didn't have a voice when I was raped and it cost me so much of my life. Give those with the courage to have a voice a chance to be heard.

    18 votes

  3. Comment on What old tech are you holding onto and why? in ~tech

    orbit
    Link
    Not sure if this counts, but IRC. I just love the simplicity of plain text chatting and never really liked Discord that much.

    Not sure if this counts, but IRC. I just love the simplicity of plain text chatting and never really liked Discord that much.

    2 votes

  4. What are your favorite CLI tools/applications?

    ~comp Ask (recommendations)
    While I've been teaching myself my first programming language (Python), I've been getting more into using the terminal as much as possible to build familiarity and get comfortable. This has opened...

    While I've been teaching myself my first programming language (Python), I've been getting more into using the terminal as much as possible to build familiarity and get comfortable. This has opened my eyes to so many useful utilities and makes me curious as to what there is out there that I haven't heard of yet.

    My favorites so far:

    exa - A modern version of "ls"

    youtube-dl - Download videos from youtube.com or other video platforms with various options

    hledger - Plain text double-entry accounting software based on ledger written in Haskell

    thefuck - App that corrects a spelling mistake in the previous command by typing "fuck"

    spicetify-cli - Customizes the Spotify client with themes and extensions

    spotifyd - Lightweight Spotify daemon

    spotify-tui - Control Spotify in the terminal

    neofetch - Launch tool that can display ASCII art or pictures and general system information

    I'm on macOS but I'm almost certain all of these are cross-platform.

    What are your favorite or "must-have" CLI packages?

    40 votes

  5. Comment on What tasks on your computer have you automated? in ~comp

    orbit
    Link Parent
    I only really post in music subreddits these days so thankfully you're not missing much not seeing my consistently bad opinions

    I only really post in music subreddits these days so thankfully you're not missing much not seeing my consistently bad opinions

    1 vote

  6. What tasks on your computer have you automated?

    ~comp Ask (survey)
    After using Shreddit to delete my Reddit history periodically for some time now, I finally decided to make a cron job to automate it on a weekly basis. I use it to delete every post and comment...

    After using Shreddit to delete my Reddit history periodically for some time now, I finally decided to make a cron job to automate it on a weekly basis. I use it to delete every post and comment that isn't whitelisted, which right now is just a tiny subreddit for a musician I like that I solely moderate and a pinned post explaining why I have a bunch of karma but barely any posts.

    After setting this up, it got me curious as to what tasks other people automate in their lives in order to streamline their workflows and eliminate minor (or major) routine tasks.

    So, what do you automate, and how did you go about doing it?

    18 votes

  7. Comment on Do you run your own blog for personal use? in ~comp

    orbit
    Link Parent
    I only put it on Dreamhost because it didn't affect my monthly cost to add hosting to another extremely low-traffic site. I probably should've just used Github Pages since setting it up with...

    I only put it on Dreamhost because it didn't affect my monthly cost to add hosting to another extremely low-traffic site. I probably should've just used Github Pages since setting it up with Dreamhost was a bit of a pain, but it's what I'm relatively used to now.

    1 vote

  8. Comment on Do you run your own blog for personal use? in ~comp

    orbit
    Link Parent
    I saw Eleventy mentioned a few times when I was browsing old posts but never checked it out until now. It looks great! How do you like using it?

    I saw Eleventy mentioned a few times when I was browsing old posts but never checked it out until now. It looks great! How do you like using it?

    4 votes

  9. Do you run your own blog for personal use?

    ~comp Ask (survey)
    I know this has been posted before, but I was going through old posts about blogging and at least half the blogs linked in the comments were offline now, so I thought I'd bring this topic back to...

    I know this has been posted before, but I was going through old posts about blogging and at least half the blogs linked in the comments were offline now, so I thought I'd bring this topic back to light.

    Do you run your own personal blog, and if so, could you share some details?

    • Is it self-hosted, or do you rent server space?

    • Do you use Wordpress or another blog platform like that, publish through other means like a flat-file CMS, or did you build it from scratch?

    • What topics do you write about?

    • How consistently do you post; or alternatively, why don't you post as often as you would like to?

    • Do you keep analytics, or do you write regardless of how many clicks you get?

    • Is your site monetized with ads or otherwise?

    • How popular is your blog on average?

    • How do you keep up with other writers' posts?

    I'm bringing this up because it seems like most places around the web centered on blogging are more in it for the money rather than for the content. Places like /r/blogging and the like are all talk about how to maximize views, earn revenue, and find your niche. I'd love to see some discussion more geared towards the content and construction of individual blogs, as opposed to people trying the next "get rich quick" scheme on their lists of passive income opportunities.

    Personally, I have multiple blogs for the sole purpose of giving me a platform to voice my opinions or share things that interest me without being constrained to a centralized platform like Twitter or Medium. I'd love to hear what you have all made and/or shared online, as well as the process behind making it happen.

    27 votes

  10. Comment on Does anyone know of any good budgeting tools? in ~finance

    orbit
    Link Parent
    Oh hey, I'm the one that shared the plain text accounting thing here! I haven't kept up with it but thought it was neat and might pick it up again soon.

    Oh hey, I'm the one that shared the plain text accounting thing here! I haven't kept up with it but thought it was neat and might pick it up again soon.

    1 vote

  12. Comment on What are your personal picks for "Games of the Decade"? in ~games

    orbit
    Link
    It might sound cliche, but honestly I'd have to pick Breath of the Wild. I've never been so sucked into a game and it's respective story so much before, and it was my first time playing Zelda,...

    It might sound cliche, but honestly I'd have to pick Breath of the Wild. I've never been so sucked into a game and it's respective story so much before, and it was my first time playing Zelda, going into it without knowing anything about the game's reception. I was absolutely blown away by how much they packed into a Switch game and the level of detail in every little aspect of the story and mechanics.

    9 votes

  13. Comment on Let's talk bags in ~life.style

    orbit
    Link
    I've been using a Fjallraven Kanken 15" laptop backpack for about 5 years now and recently bought a new one, the Kanken No. 2 Black. I absolutely love this pack and carry it with me every day. I...

    I've been using a Fjallraven Kanken 15" laptop backpack for about 5 years now and recently bought a new one, the Kanken No. 2 Black. I absolutely love this pack and carry it with me every day.

    I also have the Fjallraven Photo Insert that lets me use the pack as a camera bag. I tend to bring my camera and lenses with me, along with a notebook, my Kindle Paperwhite, Macbook Pro, an external battery in the front pouch, and some gum.

    I'm sure there are better packs for me out there, but this one is beautiful and has exactly what I need.

    1 vote

  14. Comment on What's one thing you HAVEN'T been able to find online, no matter how hard you tried? in ~talk

    orbit
    Link Parent
    This is not at all what I expected in this thread, I hope one day you will be able to find her. Thank you for writing about this.

    This is not at all what I expected in this thread, I hope one day you will be able to find her. Thank you for writing about this.

    1 vote

  15. Comment on Tell us the most uninteresting thing you did today! in ~talk

    orbit
    Link Parent
    They actually do make normal sized cigars as well

    They actually do make normal sized cigars as well

    3 votes

  16. Comment on What is a subject you could talk for 2+ hours about with a great degree of accuracy and no preparation whatsoever? in ~talk

    orbit
    Link Parent
    I have, quite a few times. Salvia is more of a deliriant than anything, which essentially has you forgetting that you took a drug while you're on it. It also comes in different "X" profiles, which...

    I have, quite a few times. Salvia is more of a deliriant than anything, which essentially has you forgetting that you took a drug while you're on it. It also comes in different "X" profiles, which describe the relative concentration of the leaves, but there is no standard way of doing this so it's very difficult to assess how potent your batch will be. On top of that, Salvia is known to have a "reverse tolerance," meaning you can start with a concentration of 100x and work down to say 5x while still maintaining the same, if not more intense trip.

    Personally I stay away from psychs altogether now and have for awhile just because it doesn't work well with my bipolar and various medications I'm on, but Salvia especially is a different beast. I always recommend Salvia to anyone planning on tripping on LSD or shrooms for the first time as it's a lot more intense than those two. Imagine an entire LSD trip condensed into just a 5 minute trip, or vice versa, an LSD trip being a Salvia trip that has been stretched over the course of 8-10 hours. Salvia will prepare you for longer psychedelics, but people often underestimate it's potency because of it's legal nature.

    All that being said, it's safe to say you should always have a trip-sitter and be in a safe environment when doing Salvia, as you will more than likely be crawling on the ground and drooling or something along those lines. Also, if you plan on doing it, make sure you use a blowtorch and not just a lighter when lighting the Salvia; it requires a much greater temperature to activate than something like marijuana.

    1 vote

  17. Comment on What has made you laugh recently? in ~talk

    orbit
    Link Parent
    Thank you for this. Apparently I had enough points on my Switch to get this for $2, this game looks incredible.

    Thank you for this. Apparently I had enough points on my Switch to get this for $2, this game looks incredible.

    4 votes

  18. Comment on What is a subject you could talk for 2+ hours about with a great degree of accuracy and no preparation whatsoever? in ~talk

    orbit
    Link
    Drugs and how they act on the brain, how to safely ingest and experiment, how they build tolerance relative to similar chemicals, the history and politics surrounding various substances, and the...

    Drugs and how they act on the brain, how to safely ingest and experiment, how they build tolerance relative to similar chemicals, the history and politics surrounding various substances, and the economic impact decriminalization has had in international communities.

    That being said, I myself have been clean and sober for some time now, but the world of recreational drugs has always interested me.

    3 votes

  19. Comment on Plain Text Accounting | Double-Entry Accounting with Plain Text Files in the Command Line in ~comp

    orbit
    Link
    After trying Mint, YNAB, Personal Capital, you name it, I could never settle on the one program to help me with my finances. Out of all of them, I liked YNAB for my needs the most, but the way...

    After trying Mint, YNAB, Personal Capital, you name it, I could never settle on the one program to help me with my finances. Out of all of them, I liked YNAB for my needs the most, but the way it's set up is a bit confusing and not exactly what I'm looking for.

    That's when I discovered plain text accounting with Ledger (and Ledger-likes like hledger and Beancount) in the command line. I wanted more control over my finances with manual input rather than automatically generated transactions pulled from my bank, and it does just that. It requires a bit of accounting knowledge, but you can always start with the basics and add more intricacy as time goes on and you learn more accounting principles.

    Ledger uses a plain text document that you create and edit to interpret data and offers a wide array of tools for reports and visualizations. Hledger, the flavor I'm currently using, also provides a console and web interface and is written in Haskell rather than C++. I could go on and on about the benefits of keeping your finances in a single text file locally, but I'm still learning the ropes so it'd be best to just check out the site I've linked to learn more; it's got tons of resources and tutorials on plain text accounting.

    Anyone here already use the command line for personal finances? How do you like it compared to things like Mint, YNAB, or even Quickbooks?

    4 votes