21
votes
Today I bough some duct tape
What a magnificent purchase.
I fixed the saddle on my bike and now it’s less saddle than duct tape.
I was so mesmerized I took it cycling with me, and stopped near the road to put some tape on the handlebar.
It looked neat, sharp, complete.
When I got home I told my husband about my duct tape, and all the little things I could use it for.
He was not very enthusiastic, so I shut his mouth. With duct tape.
I then shut his nostrils and made his head into a cute little football.
It looked neat, sharp, complete.
He wiggled back and forth. It was adorable for a while. And then he stopped.
I need to buy some duct tape.
I think you mean "I need to buy some more duct tape."
Maybe? The idea is that she used all of it. Maybe I could make that clearer?
I see. That’s not my first language. I may correct this later. Thanks.
As a life long (obsessive) lover of all things duct tape, I think the ending is great as it is.
My only suggestion, would be to add a section or two of additional situations before the lead up, really draw it out and make the "It looked neat, sharp, complete." really standout and change meaning at the end.
Thanks! I made a very small change that may address your suggestion. Tell me what you think.
A lot of people mistakenly think that a single strip of duct tape is enough to make an effective gag. Um...no. When a person starts perspiring, the sweat can cause the flap of tape to come loose. They can also just wiggle their lips and poke it loose over time with their tongue. What you really need for a secure gag is a few strips over the mouth and another couple to secure it below the chin - basically a chinstrap.
Thanks, Tumblr. F--k you, Verizon.
Oh she did all that for sure. She’s just fond of brevity.
Just wait until you discover gaffer's tape
Bravo!
Thank you very much!
All that duct tape will leave a lot of sticky residue.
Came to say this. Duct tape on a bike saddle is gonna feel real unpleasant in the summer.