Lol cabbage rolls next year please Discworld passages It was a stamp. It was a yellowy-green color. It showed—Moist peered—a field of cabbages, with some buildings on the horizon. He sniffed. It...
Lol cabbage rolls next year please
Discworld passages
It was a stamp. It was a yellowy-green color. It showed—Moist peered—a field of cabbages, with some buildings on the horizon. He sniffed. It smelled of cabbages. Oh, yes. “Printed with cabbage ink and using gum made from broccoli, sir,” said Stanley, full of pride. “‘A Salute to the Cabbage Industry of the Sto Plains,’ sir. I think it might do very well. Cabbages are so popular, sir. You can make so many things out of them!” “Well, I can see that—” “There’s cabbage soup, cabbage beer, cabbage fudge, cabbage cake, cream of cabbage—” “Yes, Stanley, I think you—” “—pickled cabbage, cabbage jelly, cabbage salad, boiled cabbage, deep-fried cabbage—” “Yes, but now can—” “—fricassee of cabbage, cabbage chutney, cabbage Surprise, sausages—” “Sausages?” “Filled with cabbage, sir. You can make practically anything with cabbage, sir. Then there’s—” “Cabbage stamps,” said Moist terminally.
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
“If it’s about the cabbage-flavored stamp glue-” Moist began.
Vetinari waved a hand. “An amusing incident,” he said, “and I believe nobody actually died.”
“Er… the Second-Issue 50p Stamp?” Moist ventured.
“The one they call ‘The Lovers’?” said Vetinari. “The League of Decency did complain to me, yes, but-”
“Our artist didn’t realize what he was sketching! He doesn’t know much about agriculture! He thought the young couple were sowing seeds!”
“Ahem,” said Vetinari. “But I understand that the offending affair can only be seen in any detail with quite a large magnifying glass, and so the offense, if such it be, is largely self-inflicted.” He gave one of his slightly frightening little smiles. “I understand the few copies in circulation among the stamp collectors are affixed to a plain brown envelope.” He looked at Moist’s blank face, and sighed.
-Terry Pratchett, Making Money
“We got a bit carried away,” said Moist. “We were a bit too creative in our thinking. We encouraged mongooses to breed in the posting boxes to keep down the snakes…”
Lord Vetinari said nothing.
“Er… which, admittedly, we introduced into the letter boxes to reduce the number of toads…”
Lord Vetinari repeated himself.
“Er… which, it’s true, staff put in the posting boxes to keep down the snails…”
Lord Vetinari remained unvocal.
“Er… These, I must in fairness point out, got into the boxes of their own accord, in order to eat the glue on the stamps,” said Moist, aware that he was beginning to burble.
“Well, at least you were saved the trouble of having to introduce them yourselves,” said Lord Vetinari cheerfully. “As you indicate, this may well have been a case where chilly logic should have been replaced by the common sense of, perhaps, the average chicken.”
I admit, though I've read a good ~12 of the Discworld books, and Going Postal was one of them, I don't recall "Lord Vetinari repeated himself" and it made me guffaw out-loud. It feels like it...
I admit, though I've read a good ~12 of the Discworld books, and Going Postal was one of them, I don't recall "Lord Vetinari repeated himself" and it made me guffaw out-loud. It feels like it might be time to get back into completing the Discworld series.
To go alongside the baguette from last year.
Lol cabbage rolls next year please
Discworld passages
It was a stamp. It was a yellowy-green color. It showed—Moist peered—a field of cabbages, with some buildings on the horizon. He sniffed. It smelled of cabbages. Oh, yes. “Printed with cabbage ink and using gum made from broccoli, sir,” said Stanley, full of pride. “‘A Salute to the Cabbage Industry of the Sto Plains,’ sir. I think it might do very well. Cabbages are so popular, sir. You can make so many things out of them!” “Well, I can see that—” “There’s cabbage soup, cabbage beer, cabbage fudge, cabbage cake, cream of cabbage—” “Yes, Stanley, I think you—” “—pickled cabbage, cabbage jelly, cabbage salad, boiled cabbage, deep-fried cabbage—” “Yes, but now can—” “—fricassee of cabbage, cabbage chutney, cabbage Surprise, sausages—” “Sausages?” “Filled with cabbage, sir. You can make practically anything with cabbage, sir. Then there’s—” “Cabbage stamps,” said Moist terminally.Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
“If it’s about the cabbage-flavored stamp glue-” Moist began.
Vetinari waved a hand. “An amusing incident,” he said, “and I believe nobody actually died.”
“Er… the Second-Issue 50p Stamp?” Moist ventured.
“The one they call ‘The Lovers’?” said Vetinari. “The League of Decency did complain to me, yes, but-”
“Our artist didn’t realize what he was sketching! He doesn’t know much about agriculture! He thought the young couple were sowing seeds!”
“Ahem,” said Vetinari. “But I understand that the offending affair can only be seen in any detail with quite a large magnifying glass, and so the offense, if such it be, is largely self-inflicted.” He gave one of his slightly frightening little smiles. “I understand the few copies in circulation among the stamp collectors are affixed to a plain brown envelope.” He looked at Moist’s blank face, and sighed.
-Terry Pratchett, Making Money
“We got a bit carried away,” said Moist. “We were a bit too creative in our thinking. We encouraged mongooses to breed in the posting boxes to keep down the snakes…”
Lord Vetinari said nothing.
“Er… which, admittedly, we introduced into the letter boxes to reduce the number of toads…”
Lord Vetinari repeated himself.
“Er… which, it’s true, staff put in the posting boxes to keep down the snails…”
Lord Vetinari remained unvocal.
“Er… These, I must in fairness point out, got into the boxes of their own accord, in order to eat the glue on the stamps,” said Moist, aware that he was beginning to burble.
“Well, at least you were saved the trouble of having to introduce them yourselves,” said Lord Vetinari cheerfully. “As you indicate, this may well have been a case where chilly logic should have been replaced by the common sense of, perhaps, the average chicken.”
Terry Pratchett, Making Money
I admit, though I've read a good ~12 of the Discworld books, and Going Postal was one of them, I don't recall "Lord Vetinari repeated himself" and it made me guffaw out-loud. It feels like it might be time to get back into completing the Discworld series.
Yeah I find new things to laugh at every time I re-read even short passages. I love that line too