I agree with the author's general point, insecurity can be crippling, and it has a lot more power when it's unacknowledged. But their delivery seems to be more focused on emotional impact than an...
I agree with the author's general point, insecurity can be crippling, and it has a lot more power when it's unacknowledged.
But their delivery seems to be more focused on emotional impact than an attempt at the truth.
For example:
A secret that harms no one, but does great damage to themselves.
The sentence fits into the dramatic narrative rhythm but that's about all it's good for.
Every abusive person I've known has, underneath it all, absolutely hated themselves. Their fatal flaw definitely hurt other people.
Another example is the flaw > root chart. That kind of over-simplification is only useful when you're selling something. Simple answers are comforting.
So I wasn't surprised, at the end, to find that it's really just a book promo.
Yeah, I was shocked at how pointless this "article" felt. And that chart just made it even worse. Of the listed flaws, the one that spoke to me a bit was That's not at all the reason I feel that...
Yeah, I was shocked at how pointless this "article" felt. And that chart just made it even worse. Of the listed flaws, the one that spoke to me a bit was
If people get to know me they won’t like me: You were ignored or rejected as a child by someone who was supposed to love you.
That's not at all the reason I feel that way! While it's possible that happened, the real reason is that I basically never had any real friends that I hung out with in high school, which is supposed to be just about the most social time in your life! Sure, I was "friends" with pretty much everyone in my grade and I did a lot of sports and activities so I had an active social life, but it wasn't until the second semester of senior year that I got actually invited to anything with any regularity, and even then, I certainly wasn't invited to everything my friends were doing. So I was pretty embarrassed to admit that back then.
I'm sure plenty of stuff from my childhood has messed me up in some way or another. But unlike with many other people, it doesn't affect my self-worth. There are plenty of other reasons for me to not like myself based on my values.
Ya the infomercial style book promo definitely turned me off.. I will say the article definitely made me think about how some childhood trauma has affected me though.
Ya the infomercial style book promo definitely turned me off.. I will say the article definitely made me think about how some childhood trauma has affected me though.
I think the article has a good point, but I don't agree that it's always rooted within the early childhood/close family. For example, I know a guy who I'm pretty sure would say his fatal flaw is...
I think the article has a good point, but I don't agree that it's always rooted within the early childhood/close family. For example, I know a guy who I'm pretty sure would say his fatal flaw is that he's shy and not 'cool' enough, but in reality, he's very self-centred and doesn't genuinely care about other people beyond what they can do for him, which is why no one wants to hang out with him in the long run.
Like with all things, it's important to approach this critically - is it really that your family didn't listen, or didn't want to spend time with you? Or is it that your current circumstances are working against you? You might not feel like you're a fun person because you hang out with people who have a very different idea of 'fun' than you do. Or maybe you feel like you don't know how to make friends, but in reality, it's just that you live in a wrong town, or move around a lot.
I always thought I "didn't like parties" until I found the right people and then discovered I only don't like certain types of parties. It's an important difference.
I always thought I "didn't like parties" until I found the right people and then discovered I only don't like certain types of parties. It's an important difference.
I will admit I didn't read the whole article but I did see the "I'm not fun" flaw. Sometimes I think I'm not fun because I'm sober and drinking is a hugely popular activity for humans. So in that...
I will admit I didn't read the whole article but I did see the "I'm not fun" flaw. Sometimes I think I'm not fun because I'm sober and drinking is a hugely popular activity for humans. So in that context I'm not fun. I guess I just gotta find my group of people who can do a thing without drinking but that's proven difficult.
I agree with the author's general point, insecurity can be crippling, and it has a lot more power when it's unacknowledged.
But their delivery seems to be more focused on emotional impact than an attempt at the truth.
For example:
The sentence fits into the dramatic narrative rhythm but that's about all it's good for.
Every abusive person I've known has, underneath it all, absolutely hated themselves. Their fatal flaw definitely hurt other people.
Another example is the flaw > root chart. That kind of over-simplification is only useful when you're selling something. Simple answers are comforting.
So I wasn't surprised, at the end, to find that it's really just a book promo.
Yeah, I was shocked at how pointless this "article" felt. And that chart just made it even worse. Of the listed flaws, the one that spoke to me a bit was
That's not at all the reason I feel that way! While it's possible that happened, the real reason is that I basically never had any real friends that I hung out with in high school, which is supposed to be just about the most social time in your life! Sure, I was "friends" with pretty much everyone in my grade and I did a lot of sports and activities so I had an active social life, but it wasn't until the second semester of senior year that I got actually invited to anything with any regularity, and even then, I certainly wasn't invited to everything my friends were doing. So I was pretty embarrassed to admit that back then.
I'm sure plenty of stuff from my childhood has messed me up in some way or another. But unlike with many other people, it doesn't affect my self-worth. There are plenty of other reasons for me to not like myself based on my values.
Ya the infomercial style book promo definitely turned me off.. I will say the article definitely made me think about how some childhood trauma has affected me though.
I think the article has a good point, but I don't agree that it's always rooted within the early childhood/close family. For example, I know a guy who I'm pretty sure would say his fatal flaw is that he's shy and not 'cool' enough, but in reality, he's very self-centred and doesn't genuinely care about other people beyond what they can do for him, which is why no one wants to hang out with him in the long run.
Like with all things, it's important to approach this critically - is it really that your family didn't listen, or didn't want to spend time with you? Or is it that your current circumstances are working against you? You might not feel like you're a fun person because you hang out with people who have a very different idea of 'fun' than you do. Or maybe you feel like you don't know how to make friends, but in reality, it's just that you live in a wrong town, or move around a lot.
I always thought I "didn't like parties" until I found the right people and then discovered I only don't like certain types of parties. It's an important difference.
I will admit I didn't read the whole article but I did see the "I'm not fun" flaw. Sometimes I think I'm not fun because I'm sober and drinking is a hugely popular activity for humans. So in that context I'm not fun. I guess I just gotta find my group of people who can do a thing without drinking but that's proven difficult.
Anyway figured I'd give my 2c.