palimpsest's recent activity
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Comment on Donald Trump whisked off stage in Pennsylvania after apparent gunshots rang through the crowd in ~news
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Comment on Donald Trump whisked off stage in Pennsylvania after apparent gunshots rang through the crowd in ~news
palimpsest Link ParentThere's info floating around saying that B might be wrong, and that it might be a case of another person with the same name. I don't really care enough to confirm one way or another but I do...There's info floating around saying that B might be wrong, and that it might be a case of another person with the same name. I don't really care enough to confirm one way or another but I do wonder how that changes the equation.
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Comment on Just wanna talk about drinking less in ~talk
palimpsest (edited )LinkHa, I'm in a similar spot - never been much of a drinker, but lately a) I got my first ever car so at a lot of events, I'm not drinking anymore (barely anyone in my friend group has a driver's...Ha, I'm in a similar spot - never been much of a drinker, but lately a) I got my first ever car so at a lot of events, I'm not drinking anymore (barely anyone in my friend group has a driver's licence so I'm the DD every time), and b) I bought myself a Garmin watch as I started running more, only to realise how even low alcohol intake absolutely wrecks my quality of sleep. I still drink sometimes, but only for special occasions and when it's drinks I really like (craft beers etc.)
My go-to alternatives are:
- sparkling water with elderflower syrup. You can make it as diluted or sweet as you like. I could live off of this.
- flavoured lemonades - I'm a fan of passionfruit lemonade but have also had lavender, mango etc. The lemon ensures they're not too sweet.
- ginger ale
- tonic water (there's some really nice ones out there!)
- non-alcoholic beer - most are pretty bad but I found some I like. One is a local one but the other is Erdinger Grapefruit 0%.
- kombucha
When out with friends, I usually go for mocktails or fancy iced teas.
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Comment on Robert Fico: Slovakia’s prime minister in life-threatening condition after being shot multiple times in ~society
palimpsest Link ParentOur local media is reporting that the shooter is a 71 year old man. One source says he was a writer, the other reports that he worked in security. Pretty wild stuff.Our local media is reporting that the shooter is a 71 year old man. One source says he was a writer, the other reports that he worked in security. Pretty wild stuff.
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Comment on Extraverted introverts, cautious risk-takers, and selfless narcissists: A demonstration of why you can’t trust data collected on MTurk in ~science
palimpsest Link ParentI have to disagree with you there. If you read the paper, you can see that MTurk results had positive correlations for almost every 'opposite' pair, as opposed to the other platform, which had...All just to say that while I'm sure MTurk has plenty of mediocre data, I almost find this paper to say more about the shortfalls of trying to neatly categorize people into personality types and behaviors than it does about anything else.
I have to disagree with you there. If you read the paper, you can see that MTurk results had positive correlations for almost every 'opposite' pair, as opposed to the other platform, which had negative correlations (as would be expected). The authors present a very good case why it's likely that MTurk participants just picked 'yes' (or 'no') for everything instead of bothering to answer the questions. (You can also see that a bunch of them spent less than 2 seconds answering each question, meaning they likely didn't read it at all.)
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Comment on Extraverted introverts, cautious risk-takers, and selfless narcissists: A demonstration of why you can’t trust data collected on MTurk in ~science
palimpsest LinkAbsolutely not surprised. I don't trust studies using MTurk - I think it's lazy research. However, I do want to say that 'I like order' and 'I crave chaos' can coexist. I personally like order,...Absolutely not surprised. I don't trust studies using MTurk - I think it's lazy research.
However, I do want to say that 'I like order' and 'I crave chaos' can coexist. I personally like order, but I also crave chaos. :D
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Comment on How are you dealing with inflation regarding everyday enjoyment? in ~life
palimpsest LinkI've always been frugal as an adult because I was either broke as hell, saving up for an apartment, or paying off a mortgage. I'm still doing that last one, but at least my wages have gone up a...I've always been frugal as an adult because I was either broke as hell, saving up for an apartment, or paying off a mortgage. I'm still doing that last one, but at least my wages have gone up a bit during the past few years, otherwise I'd be seriously struggling. So not a lot has changed, really!
The main impact is that I'm going out way less, and when I do, I go to specific places that I know are affordable. I live in a city that's only recently become a tourist destination, so a lot of places where I used to go often are now best avoided, since their prices went up both due to inflation and because tourists go there. The only exception is one beer garden with really great beer, but even that's become more of a treat and less of my usual go-to destination that it was before. I also stopped ordering out almost entirely - during the lockdowns, I'd order out up to three times per week, but now the prices have become ridiculous. For that amount of money, I'd rather go sit down at a restaurant.
Inflation also contributed to me changing the way I exercise. The main reason was injury, but once it healed, I saw how expensive the classes at my pole dance studio were and decided not to go back for now. I did Cuban salsa for a while, which was half the price and came with a ton of free events, but now I'm mostly just doing running (both by myself and with a free running group) and longboard dance, where the only expense is the gear. I do miss the body weight exercise aspect of pole dance, but I've made peace with the fact that I'm in my cardio era, and I've been curious about calisthenics for a while so I can always try that.
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Comment on What's something you've been mulling over recently? in ~talk
palimpsest Link ParentHey, thank you so much for telling me about your experience and for being honest. Both me and my SO are forgetful people (I'm extra forgetful when stressed out), so I can see this being a source...Hey, thank you so much for telling me about your experience and for being honest. Both me and my SO are forgetful people (I'm extra forgetful when stressed out), so I can see this being a source of extra anxiety!
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Comment on What's something you've been mulling over recently? in ~talk
palimpsest Link ParentHey, thank you so much for sharing your experience, I really appreciate it. In a lot of ways, your post actually makes me feel better, because there was nothing in there that made me say oh shit,...Hey, thank you so much for sharing your experience, I really appreciate it. In a lot of ways, your post actually makes me feel better, because there was nothing in there that made me say oh shit, I didn't think about that at all (other than worrying about school shotings - I'm in Europe and hopefully won't get to the point where I need to worry about that too).
Some things that I'm cautiously optimistic about: I'm the primary earner in the household and my partner would love being a stay-at-home dad, but his work is so flexible that even if he remains employed, he could spend a lot more time at home with kids than is the norm. At the same time, my own mother was so incredibly anxious that I really want to be mindful of not passing that on to my children like she did to me.
I also really don't want to be just a mum - I admire my cousin who has had three kids and is still very involved with her hobbies. When I said that the future looks kinda pointless, I meant more in the sense that it's not leading towards anything. I have my little hobbies and interests, but there's no great sense of purpose behind them, and I'd like to see if there's something more to life other than this and the daily grind.
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Comment on What's something you've been mulling over recently? in ~talk
palimpsest Link ParentThank you for the encouragement! Honestly, it's hugely helpful just listening to people's experiences.Thank you for the encouragement! Honestly, it's hugely helpful just listening to people's experiences.
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Comment on What's something you've been mulling over recently? in ~talk
palimpsest LinkWhether I want to have kids or not. I always thought I didn't want them, in part due to horror stories of childbirth and raising babies/toddlers, but now everyone around me is having kids and the...Whether I want to have kids or not. I always thought I didn't want them, in part due to horror stories of childbirth and raising babies/toddlers, but now everyone around me is having kids and the vast majority of them are doing just fine. (Then again, the very few who have children with chronic health problems have had their lives completely upended, and you can never know if that's gonna be you.) I like kids in all their stages as long as they're not shrieking (noise sensitivity, I get it with other things as well and it makes me want to go insane). But then again, I lived next door to a colicky baby who spent a whole year screaming their poor lungs out, and I survived.
I'm 34, so I don't have that long to decide. I literally never had a strong desire to have a child. I also live in a studio apartment (can't afford anything bigger due to the housing crisis), am prone to anxiety when stressed out, I like my own space, and hate hate hate the idea of being pregnant and giving birth. I'm not close with my family, my partner's family is on another continent (he doesn't want to move back) and while my friends are nice, they're all childfree and wouldn't be able to help out much.
On the other hand - I know I'd be a good mom. I like caring for people and I did a lot of thinking/reading about parenting, mostly because my own parents were not exactly great. I'm the kind of person who reads all the books and does the research and always tries to do what is best, even if it's uncomfortable for me. My child would be so loved! (Unless I develop some mental issues, which I do low-key worry about.) And this is just from my side - my partner is loving and dedicated and I know he'd love to have a family (but he also knows how much I struggle with this, so he doesn't really talk about it).
So I have a ton of various fears and anxieties over the whole thing, and no big desire to have a kid. But everyone says it's the greatest thing ever, and my future looks kinda empty and pointless. Which sound like the worst reasons to have a child! So far, I'm giving myself time while also taking steps towards more stability (looking into buying a bigger apartment, primarily) and really, really thinking about everything. But honestly, I just wish I had either a strong desire or strong repulsion towards the whole thing!
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Comment on What's something you've been mulling over recently? in ~talk
palimpsest Link ParentI agree that it's probably anxiety. I often get the same before a trip - fixated on some detail, maybe even starting to feel kinda meh about the whole thing. Then I go and it's a blast. Like the...I agree that it's probably anxiety. I often get the same before a trip - fixated on some detail, maybe even starting to feel kinda meh about the whole thing. Then I go and it's a blast.
Like the other person in the responses, I always come overprepared for a flight, and then I never use a single thing I brought. On long (10+ hr) flights, I mostly watch movies on the in-flight tablet, read, and listen to music. Every single time I tried gaming on a handheld I gave up after half an hour or so. The vibes are just not right for me. I did play a bunch of simple mobile/PC games though (I have fond memories of playing FTL on one flight; on a different one, it was Reigns on my phone).
If I were you, I'd bring just the laptop with some games that can run on it, something that doesn't require complex controls. If you really want to bring a handheld, bring the one you'll miss the least if it gets lost or stolen.
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Comment on You don't need to document everything in ~tech
palimpsest LinkI'm gonna come in with a 'Yes, but' - I agree that it's important to enjoy the moment and take photos/videos in moderation. But I have a terrible visual recollection of things. I remember events...I'm gonna come in with a 'Yes, but' - I agree that it's important to enjoy the moment and take photos/videos in moderation. But I have a terrible visual recollection of things. I remember events in vague shapes and feelings, and having a photo to look at really helps me pull it all together.
Then again, I also print out the photos I take as polaroids and stickers, so they're not just languishing on my phone. But I'm not gonna begrudge anyone taking pics and videos if they want to.
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~talk
palimpsest LinkThis sounds interesting, but not sure if it would work for me personally. I find that rewarding only works to motivate me to a limited extent. The issue is that rewards are often not 100% a good...This sounds interesting, but not sure if it would work for me personally. I find that rewarding only works to motivate me to a limited extent. The issue is that rewards are often not 100% a good thing - they cost money (buying myself something really nice), take up space (buying myself something small and cute that I don't really need), or undermine my efforts at good habits (eat something sweet). If I try to reward myself with experiences, it feels wrong - I shouldn't have to do tasks to go for a nice lunch or have a spa day once in a while, especially not while I'm stressed out from work as it is.
It's a problem - sometimes even when I want to treat myself, I forget or it doesn't work out or it's too much of a hassle. The other day I went to buy myself a nice notebook as a treat, and I ended up buying nothing because I don't actually need a notebook and none of the ones on offer were nice enough to convince me otherwise. So I think maybe the rewards system just isn't for me.
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Comment on What's something about your lived experience you wished people understood, but rarely do? in ~talk
palimpsest Link ParentI think that unfortunately, these go hand in hand. As an atheist*, it seems to me that a lot of religions these days are just about a) being right and b) hating on everyone who is not like you....I just want to say that I’m sick of all the hate in the world directed both at and by religious people.
I think that unfortunately, these go hand in hand. As an atheist*, it seems to me that a lot of religions these days are just about a) being right and b) hating on everyone who is not like you. What you said about being a Christian is super nice, but you have to admit that in general, both IRL and online, this is not what Christianity these days seems to be about. I hate to say it, but for a lot of people, being religious just means being a bigot.
That said, I do agree that people should keep it in mind that just because someone is religious, it doesn't mean that they're the same as every other religious person, or that they support people of the same faith who do/say terrible things.
* I was raised atheist in a mostly Catholic country, and while I think the Catholic Church is a travesty, I do believe Jesus had the right idea about loving your fellow man, not hating on those different than yourself, being tolerant, helping the sick and the poor, and not amassing large fortunes.
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Comment on Denmark's tough laws on begging hit Roma women with few other options – the Roma minority are heavily discriminated against across Europe in ~life.women
palimpsest LinkI read this article yesterday and man, I don't know. On the one hand, I think it's much too harsh to send people in prison for selling homeless magazines in front of grocery stores. I also find it...- Exemplary
I read this article yesterday and man, I don't know.
On the one hand, I think it's much too harsh to send people in prison for selling homeless magazines in front of grocery stores. I also find it pretty horrific that a pregnant woman can't get proper prenatal care just because she's an immigrant.
On the other, this seems to be a disabled woman who moved to Denmark specifically to beg, who is pregnant with her fifth child while already unable to provide for the four children she has. This doesn't sit well with me, and I think it's wrong to point a finger at Denmark for not accommodating her. I think a bigger focus should be on Romania and the way social support systems work here, but also on the Roma culture and the way it often clashes with other cultures. Why did this disabled woman have to move to another country to try and sustain her family? Between the help of her parents and the government, why can't she survive without having to beg on the streets of a foreign country? I don't really think there's a good reason for her to be in Denmark, and I don't think it's up to Denmark to fix her situation.
I'll also offer another perspective: I live in a central European town. We have our own homeless population that mostly gets along well with the rest of the locals - they're not violent people and I think we all understand that they're just down on their luck, for one reason or another. A lot of them sell the homeless newspaper, and I often buy it (although I do mind if they come begging while I'm eating or drinking outside with friends, but that's off-topic already). However, especially in the warmer months, we get an influx of beggars who don't speak the language and look visibly foreign. They don't really talk but tend to be more intrusive when begging, take over spots that the local homeless people frequent otherwise, and don't respect the overall 'code of conduct' that the local homeless have. They all appear at the same time and disappear just as suddenly a few weeks later, and we're all fairly convinced that this is organised begging where they get driven in by someone who is probably taking a cut of the money. Even if not, they're taking resources away from the local homeless in need, as well as making life harder for them. I don't know what the answer is here, but I do think this kind of 'seasonal' begging should be discouraged.
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Comment on What watch do you wear daily? in ~hobbies
palimpsest LinkCurrently, a Garmin Venu 2S that I bought myself as an early birthday gift. I got into running again and have been running regularly for over 2 months now, and I wanted more fitness tracking but...Currently, a Garmin Venu 2S that I bought myself as an early birthday gift. I got into running again and have been running regularly for over 2 months now, and I wanted more fitness tracking but not a ton of bells and whistles.
Before, I wore a Cluse CL30057 for spring/summer (very cheap but also fun and trendy, and surprisingly reliable) and a Skagen SKW2490 for autumn/winter (simple but elegant enough for work etc.).
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Comment on What makes you chew fire? in ~talk
palimpsest Link ParentDA:O was my favourite ever game for a long, long time, and I actually liked Inquisition a lot (and I even warmed up to DA:2 after a while). But even I stopped following the news about DA:4. It's...DA:O was my favourite ever game for a long, long time, and I actually liked Inquisition a lot (and I even warmed up to DA:2 after a while). But even I stopped following the news about DA:4. It's just not worth it.
I'm playing Baldur's Gate 3 now and it kinda fills the same niche, and it's helping me mourn the Dragon Age franchise a little bit. But man, fuck EA. They ruin everything they touch.
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Comment on My marriage is non-monogamous, and I am considering approaching a friend to propose a relationship with him. I would appreciate some advice from monogamous people (and reasonable people in general.) in ~life
palimpsest Link ParentHeyy, I'm so glad to hear it went well! Best of luck to you. I hope that whatever follows leads to you guys having a great time in one form or another. :)Heyy, I'm so glad to hear it went well! Best of luck to you. I hope that whatever follows leads to you guys having a great time in one form or another. :)
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Comment on How do you date? in ~talk
palimpsest Link ParentHaha, I think it depends from person to person. For the first question, it's things like - does it look like we can cohabit? To what extent do they fit what I'm looking for in a partner? In the...Haha, I think it depends from person to person. For the first question, it's things like - does it look like we can cohabit? To what extent do they fit what I'm looking for in a partner? In the initial stages of dating, everything is exciting and everyone is trying to show their best side at all times, so sometimes when this time passes, you realise that the other person might not be that interesting, or not that interested in you, or they said they wanted something but it's starting to look like they might not, etc. I don't think this depends on just hours spent together, but it happens over a set time of knowing a person - of course, if you only hang out with them 3 hours a month, it's gonna be different than hanging out with them 3 hours a week, but I don't think there's a significant difference in the process if you see them every day vs. every two days. It's also faster if you know a person from before, etc.
(Also, for me, one date with someone I'm already interested in would probably be anywhere between 2 and 5 hours, and that's if no one stays over at the other's place - I can't imagine having a 30 minute date with someone unless it's going very badly!)
This thread is full of unconfirmed theories, so I thought I'd join the discussion. I don't see many people doing their own research here, but god forbid I'm upfront about being guilty of that myself?