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Any interest in a mental health support thread?
I've noticed a lot of people in introductory threads mentioning their mental health issues and a sizeable number of people who took the survey indicated they consider themselves mentally ill. I myself have been dealing with depression for about 16 years.
Without a search function it's hard to tell if this is a repost, but I figured I'd give it a go and see if anyone out there is in need of some support. If you need someone to talk to, consider this thread a support group and I will be here to lean on. :)
I don't think I have any mental illnesses (I know I've definitely struggled with it in the past), but I'm not doing too great in myself these days.
I get really emotional very easily and stuff from the past always comes back to bite me no matter what. I also feel like I have a lot of potential, but I end up wasting it all because I never know what to do with myself whenever I have free time (normally I just browse reddit, I wanna do something productive but I never know what). I don't exactly know what I want out of life and it's scary. I'm also terrible at making friends so I feel excrutiatingly lonely a lot of the time and I'm really bad at keeping in touch with people. I also struggle to trust and get close to people so I don't ever really open up to anyone except for my boyfriend (who is the only person I actually talk to on a regular basis) and I hate that he has to deal with me and my stupid shit all the time.
Gah, I hate myself and I can't get out of it.
This sounds rough. I personally like to avoid the label of "mental illness". Lots of people get emotional easily. I do, but I only learned this about myself in the last few years and I'm a grown-ass man. I know you have a lot of potential. I'm certain of it. I have some tips and ideas that might work for you. Like anything, I recommend taking it in, using what works and discarding the rest.
Write this down (or don't, I'm not the boss of you) -- We do what is reinforced.
This applies to every behavior you have. You're absolutely not alone in the world for people who have free time and then "squander" it on mindlessness. Browsing reddit is rewarding. New things to click on and read reinforce the behavior, making it more likely for you to go back. A more subtle reinforcement happens though. It lets you shut off your brain a little bit and not engage with your feelings. If you were to engage, you might feel overwhelmed. Bored. Hopeless. Might add to the narrative that you're unlikable. So, reddit (or others) reward you by letting you off the hook. You have to break that bond. When you want to do something productive and are drawn to reddit, get out paper and timer and set it for 5 minutes. Then journal for 5 minutes. Write about anything. Or stare at the paper for 5 minutes. Or doodle. Doesn't matter. When the timer goes off, reward yourself extravagantly by saying "Good Job Stardivarius! You're fucking amazing! You stared at that paper for 5 minutes. That was actually way hard!" Now treat yourself to reddit, or ice cream, or chocolate. Anything at all. You deserve it. And don't think it was easy. If it was easy, you'd have done it already.
Continue to reward the good things you do, and stop shaming yourself for things that are "bad". You can then use this tool to improve on anything you want to do more, and it will help you reduce the things you want to do less. Don't hate yourself because you're human. No one ever taught you to properly "train" yourself. You can do it yourself though, start today!
You're not alone. You got this! I'm as sure of this as I am anything.
Thank you so much for this! I think I'll give this a try whenever I find something I can put my mind to.
I want to break out of this hole I'm in really bad, hopefully this can help.
Mental health illnesses aren't like catching a cold and self prescribing antihistamines. Nor are they easy to diagnose. If you are spending time hating yourself on a regular basis, it's a red flag.
It is not, however, a disaster. Everyone who lives has moments where they need mental health care! I discovered that my brain is permanently set to "anxious" about 12 years ago. I am mostly happy...and still working through it every day. :)
Take one step at a time. Be happy for your progress, even if it's a millimeter. Be forgiving of when you slip back. You're definitely worth it.
Life is scary, to be honest. Especially once you're done with the educational system and * POOF! * you're an adult now and have to make your own path. It's incredibly intimidating and you wind up feeling completely unprepared and alone.
The good news is that you are NOT alone in feeling this way. I would bet that many (if not most) of your peers feel the same, even if they don't express it to you. I'm not sure what you do for work or if you're still in school, but I'd try to just reach out of your comfort zone and try to talk to a coworker or schoolmate even once per week. Doesn't have to be a long conversation, but if you slowly build a casual friendship with the people you're around the most you may find yourself less lonely. If you're in a situation like college where the people around you are constantly changing, maybe even brief conversations with new people can help to alleviate the lonely feeling. Again, it doesn't have to be every day (I know I HATE social situations and the thought of making small talk is daunting), but just try once a week or more and see how it makes you feel. If you feel the same, you don't have to continue. I just know sometimes in college I could go an entire day without saying a word to another person and it sucked. Sometimes just a few words can make a difference.
The biggest red flag I see here is the self-loathing. We all have flaws, and some of us more than others. Sometimes you are your own worst enemy, but the key is to find something you respect about yourself and remember it and believe in it even when your mind is telling you you're nothing. You say you feel like you have a lot of potential. In what way? Latch on to this feeling, know that you're worth something! Find something, anything, no matter how small, that makes you feel worthwhile and cultivate it. If you like to draw or color, do that. If you're really good at a game, play it. If you like to write, find some prompts if you want to be creative or journal if you want to stay grounded. These are just examples, but you can explore your interests and see what makes you feel accomplished.
Know that if nothing else, this internet stranger cares about you and thinks you're special and worthwhile. It's hard, but try not to beat yourself up too badly over the past. You're not the same person you were yesterday and you have a clean slate to become whatever you want.
Thanks, it means a lot.
I'm in university, I finished my first year and now I'm off for the whole summer with nothing to do. It gets rather lonely. I didn't make any friends during term time. Currently I'm in my boyfriend's country where the only person I know is him so at the moment it's a little hard to really make friends.
I like playing games, and I like learning languages and I also like to do programming. I've been thinking about trying to learn Python, could really help me out in the future or something. I just hope I can get myself out of this rut before it's too late.
I don't know if it's a mental illness or not, but I experience anxiety ranging from mild to intense from time to time that is, I think, abnormal. I have been severely depressed in the past though, and while my journey to a more stable (if not perfect) place is not going to be a fit for everyone, I can at least claim that I can probably empathize with people who feel stuck a bit more easily than people who have never experienced it.
Part of my problem is that I think I'd prefer not to go into too much detail on my issues in association with this username, which I use everywhere. It's weird - trying to be authentic by keeping a consistent username means I can't be authentic with stuff that carries too strong a stigma. I wonder if other people who do have serious issues feel something similar, which might be tricky since tildes is invite-only so not so simple to make a throwaway account for anonymity for example.
I'm also one that uses my name everywhere. And I also have anxiety. I understand the concerns of stigma - chronic mental illnesses in my country are sometimes called mental "disabilities."
The stigma is very real at this time. For me it was outed at my last job for various reasons (no, I wasn't fired for it! :) and life was...interesting. Strangely, it's similar to a friend who has chronic fatigue. People would bend over backwards to accommodate a coworker in a wheelchair, but because Anxiety, like CF, has no outward signs like missing limbs, I was considered difficult and prima donna-ish.
Feel free to dm me if you like! Or just accept my cheering you on from afar. :)
I think your reluctance to share too many personal details is totally valid. If you want to PM someone about specific things without sharing with a wide audience, my inbox is always open. Otherwise, sometimes it's helpful to be able to just read what other people are experiencing and see that you're not alone in your feelings. Or even just post and say "hey, life sucks a little bit right now, send me some good vibes." Your experience and empathy can also help you help others dealing with the same issues without getting too specific about your own issues.
Either way, know that we're here for you Mumberthrax.
Short one: Was depressed, but got confident at the cost of becoming a spiteful, angry bitch... and I like it
Hey, as long as you're comfortable with who you are, it's totally a valid coping mechanism imo. Just remember not to isolate yourself too much out of anger, even justified anger.
It sounds as though you derive most of your pleasure from completing projects rather than working on them. I have the opposite problem: I start a lot of things and am really excited about them and then get distracted by something else and never finish.
It also sounds as though you have several impressive talents! In those rare moments when you do feel passionate and motivated, try to press on without the questioning and see what happens. Trust in yourself a little bit and see what you're capable of. If you get started but then end up losing interest, try to reward yourself for persisting. Work on it a little each day and reward yourself with something you enjoy (food, watching your favorite show, slacking off, whatever feels good in the moment). Pay attention to whether this method helps get you moving on your projects and if working on the projects starts to feel more satisfying. It may help, it may not.
Sometimes I personally feel like it can be helpful to do something simple to change my scenery when I'm in a dark or apathetic mood. Even just going outside or for a walk can force me to change my perspective and start looking at things a little differently. Force yourself out of your comfort zone, especially if you've been in a cycle of wake up - go to work - watch tv/stay inside - sleep. It's not easy or pleasant in the beginning, but you often feel a bit better once you've done it.
Bp2, mainly depressed, trying to stay in a positive mood. Shit is so tough some days.
Agreed, especially with the state of the world news nowadays it feels more and more difficult to keep a positive attitude. I don't know whether this impacts you like it does me, but disconnecting from news and social media for a time sometimes helps me to refocus on what's important in my personal life rather than global issues I have no control over.
As I've suggested to others, sometimes a change in scenery can help to lift mood. I often get into a cycle of just staying inside for a whole weekend and not venturing out on weeknights. Even just going for a short walk or sitting outside for a bit is sometimes enough to lift me up and give a little boost of motivation.