8 votes

Bad waitress

6 comments

  1. [5]
    NaraVara
    Link
    Just a good auto-biographical article about a woman's early career waiting tables and her later transition to being a writer. In particular, she digs into the food-writing and journalism scenes...

    Just a good auto-biographical article about a woman's early career waiting tables and her later transition to being a writer. In particular, she digs into the food-writing and journalism scenes for being thoroughly divorced from the lives and experiences of the people who work in the industries they cover.

    People ask me all the time what’s the worst thing a customer said to me, or what’s the craziest story I have from work. I always say: I don’t remember. I used to store things like this, anecdotes to share on social media, but by the end, I went into work, I got through my shifts, and when I left, I wiped my brain like a chalkboard. When people ask me this, I get the sense that they’re looking for entertainment. What, I wanted to say, do you think I do this job for anecdotes? People will say that, too. Oh, it must make you a better writer, seeing all these people and the crazy things they say.

    It has not made me a better writer. It’s made me lazy. It’s made me love money. It’s made me see that life is more than writing, it’s lessened my chokehold on dedication. I no longer identify as an ambitious person. I identify as a person who wants to make the life that they can scrape together as comfortable as possible.

    I do think being a waitress has done one great thing with respect to writing: it has made me understand deeply and fundamentally how many writers are full of shit. It has altered my view of privilege and money and the ways that people complain that mask the fact that in their world, they would never have to do a job that equates to basic manual labor, because their intelligence is worth more than waiting on others. (Side note: Sweetbitter was an overrated waitressing book, Love Me Back is underrated.)

    5 votes
    1. [4]
      chocobean
      Link Parent
      I, for one, can't wait till our collective obsessions with "career" become optional again. Once upon a time a man wasn't defined by his profession: he just did the thing that kept his family fed...

      Waiting tables felt like the bane of my existence, but it also gave me access to everything I loved.

      I, for one, can't wait till our collective obsessions with "career" become optional again. Once upon a time a man wasn't defined by his profession: he just did the thing that kept his family fed or the thing that his father did and so on. No one thought little of a guy for working a job that pays him enough to life his life. Then work became life, or rather, a poor masquerade of real life.

      I think those who have achieved financial independence and are retired but work light jobs is definitely a possible and valid path. (Barista-FIRE?)

      4 votes
      1. [4]
        Comment deleted by author
        Link Parent
        1. [3]
          chocobean
          Link Parent
          One of us..... sad trombone BUT! You probably have a diverse range of interests and have had a lot of fun adventures over the years? :) Accepting ourselves, even if we don't fit a neat societal...

          Thanks to undiagnosed severe ADHD

          One of us..... sad trombone

          BUT! You probably have a diverse range of interests and have had a lot of fun adventures over the years? :)

          Accepting ourselves, even if we don't fit a neat societal mold, is great. Hopefully it also allows us more grace when we look at our neighbour whose lives look like a mess to regular society.

          Unlike many with their millions or billions, I don't need to keep up with the Joneses. I don't care about numbers in stock accounts. The only place I need to be is able to pay my bills and occasional emergencies without being in a panic (and I'm not quite there yet).

          This sounds like a healthy place to be and a healthy goal to reach :)

          2 votes
          1. [3]
            Comment deleted by author
            Link Parent
            1. [2]
              chocobean
              Link Parent
              Healthy mentality lol c'mon But dude that's a whole bunch of things that went on. And the state wanted guardianship...holy cow is there a much longer story here? Have you..... okay totally skip...

              Healthy mentality lol c'mon

              But dude that's a whole bunch of things that went on. And the state wanted guardianship...holy cow is there a much longer story here? Have you.....

              okay totally skip the rest of this paragraph **unless** you're at a decently healthy place, okay? Have you heard of the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Score (https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/10464/adverse-childhood-experiences-ace-score)? Do you have a bunch of unexplainable health problems that are way beyond your family history and peer age group?

              :) i used to hang out with a bunch of super old babushkas from Church, and one of them sagely said, any morning they wake up on this side of the grave is a good day. And indeed yes -- 20 years from now you and I are going to look back on today and think, gods I was young and healthy then.

              3 votes
              1. [2]
                Comment deleted by author
                Link Parent
                1. chocobean
                  Link Parent
                  :D Well, I'll race ya! :) New advances every day and honestly Americans are only one good president away from having universal health care. Your overall sunny outlook will probably keep you going...

                  :D

                  But on a day-to-day basis? I mean, you can choose to appreciate what you have and be happy with it, or you can choose to be jealous of what you don't have and ruin your own life being bitter.

                  Well, I'll race ya! :) New advances every day and honestly Americans are only one good president away from having universal health care. Your overall sunny outlook will probably keep you going longer than anything else.

                  Undiagnosed ADHD super sucks, man. This day and age we still encounter attitudes from medical professionals but it's getting rarer and rarer thankfully. I hope you get full time super soon!!

                  2 votes
  2. gowestyoungman
    (edited )
    Link
    Fascinating article. It reminded of something I learned when I voluntarily demoted from a well paying job with a bit of 'prestige' to a very menial job that I used to oversee: EVERY job is...

    Fascinating article. It reminded of something I learned when I voluntarily demoted from a well paying job with a bit of 'prestige' to a very menial job that I used to oversee: EVERY job is important, no matter how small you think it is, and every person who does it should be appreciated.

    4 votes