So I don’t have time to read the whole article, but from the first third, she really misunderstands the philosophy of attachment parenting. It’s not about constant contact and immediate response...
So I don’t have time to read the whole article, but from the first third, she really misunderstands the philosophy of attachment parenting. It’s not about constant contact and immediate response after the first few months. It is about quality attention, and slowly ramping up separation and helping kids learn independence while knowing there is a very secure and welcoming home base.
An unwillingness to let the child go and the concomitant anxiety she talks about is definitely not a secure home base. I’m guessing she embraces this reality further down the story; I’m here to point out it is inherent in attachment parenting all the way through.
You ought to read the rest of the article. The author describes this method and mentions how this method is described as, "The Best", but doesn't take into account many other factors in human...
You ought to read the rest of the article.
The author describes this method and mentions how this method is described as, "The Best", but doesn't take into account many other factors in human life, such as parental autonomy, as well as raising kids to take part in specific society.
So i read the rest of the article, and i stand by my assessment: the author either doesn’t understand attachment parenting or is misrepresenting it. The boob teasing is not the approach attachment...
So i read the rest of the article, and i stand by my assessment: the author either doesn’t understand attachment parenting or is misrepresenting it.
The boob teasing is not the approach attachment parenting would recommend, but it would encourage delay before feeding, and offering alternatives, and communication. It encourages kids to be present in family activities, not shielded or “protected.” It encourages lots of contact with family and community and society and the world. It also encourages flexibility and adaptibility, for parents and younguns.
So her expertise is anthropology, but she happens to be a mother. I'm guessing that she is right though that these theories have been understood in this way, even if that is not a fair take on the...
So her expertise is anthropology, but she happens to be a mother. I'm guessing that she is right though that these theories have been understood in this way, even if that is not a fair take on the theory.
Even if she had left the theory out altogether, which might have been better, I found her experiences of the cultural differences interesting in their own right and possibly worth learning from.
I've discussed parenting with my friends who have kids. Not in a "you should do this" way, but a general musing on what kind of society might benefit the parent and child best. Seeing their...
I've discussed parenting with my friends who have kids. Not in a "you should do this" way, but a general musing on what kind of society might benefit the parent and child best.
Seeing their struggles with breastfeeding, lack of sleep, coping with work and child, not having time for themselves, I've begun to think that a more communal way of life like in the past might benefit the parents more.
If they get tired or sick, the kid can go somewhere else and still feel safe and secure. Breast feeding can be shared and it won't be on the mother to provide everything.
I was resisting the article at first and was weary that she would say and try to promote the Amazonian way as the best way. But she did critique people who do say that and in the end, she just said that there's no best way. They're all kind of different depending on your community.
And I'm okay with that conclusion.
Even with communities that aren't that drastically different, I think people focus too much on what's right and what's wrong and trying to police how other people raise their kids.
I found this personal reflection on parenting as a westerner living among members of an indigenous culture to be thought provoking. She questions the values some of the current trends in parenting...
I found this personal reflection on parenting as a westerner living among members of an indigenous culture to be thought provoking. She questions the values some of the current trends in parenting are trying to instill, and she tells some funny stories.
Good article, thanks. As a stay at home parent, currently taking care of two due to Summer Vacation, I feel all this. In raising my two, this is something I've frequently thought about, especially...
Good article, thanks.
As a stay at home parent, currently taking care of two due to Summer Vacation, I feel all this. In raising my two, this is something I've frequently thought about, especially as it relates to the old adage, "It takes a village..." I don't necessarily have any cohesive thoughts here, but the way that we expect, in our society, one parent to manage children full time is insane. Especially when we consider our society really isn't built with kids in mind, in spite of the societal undercurrent of, "You should have kids!"
Even in spite of trying to raise my kids to be independent and figure things out on their own, there's still this societal guilt that tends to overwhelm me when I'm not paying my utmost attention to them. I want them to go explore, play, learn, but there's always a mental undercurrent, "I should be trying to help them grow." Even though I know they're often better off trying to figure it out on their own.
But our society isn't built around the collective, just look at how the Pandemic went for an indication of that. So much as I'd love to see similar practices in our own society--how I would love it to have a close friend or family member say, "Let me just take your kids for a week, you need a break."--I don't necessarily think it's possible; whatever collective ideals we had, have only broken down even further in recent memory.
So I don’t have time to read the whole article, but from the first third, she really misunderstands the philosophy of attachment parenting. It’s not about constant contact and immediate response after the first few months. It is about quality attention, and slowly ramping up separation and helping kids learn independence while knowing there is a very secure and welcoming home base.
An unwillingness to let the child go and the concomitant anxiety she talks about is definitely not a secure home base. I’m guessing she embraces this reality further down the story; I’m here to point out it is inherent in attachment parenting all the way through.
You ought to read the rest of the article.
The author describes this method and mentions how this method is described as, "The Best", but doesn't take into account many other factors in human life, such as parental autonomy, as well as raising kids to take part in specific society.
So i read the rest of the article, and i stand by my assessment: the author either doesn’t understand attachment parenting or is misrepresenting it.
The boob teasing is not the approach attachment parenting would recommend, but it would encourage delay before feeding, and offering alternatives, and communication. It encourages kids to be present in family activities, not shielded or “protected.” It encourages lots of contact with family and community and society and the world. It also encourages flexibility and adaptibility, for parents and younguns.
So her expertise is anthropology, but she happens to be a mother. I'm guessing that she is right though that these theories have been understood in this way, even if that is not a fair take on the theory.
Even if she had left the theory out altogether, which might have been better, I found her experiences of the cultural differences interesting in their own right and possibly worth learning from.
I've discussed parenting with my friends who have kids. Not in a "you should do this" way, but a general musing on what kind of society might benefit the parent and child best.
Seeing their struggles with breastfeeding, lack of sleep, coping with work and child, not having time for themselves, I've begun to think that a more communal way of life like in the past might benefit the parents more.
If they get tired or sick, the kid can go somewhere else and still feel safe and secure. Breast feeding can be shared and it won't be on the mother to provide everything.
I was resisting the article at first and was weary that she would say and try to promote the Amazonian way as the best way. But she did critique people who do say that and in the end, she just said that there's no best way. They're all kind of different depending on your community.
And I'm okay with that conclusion.
Even with communities that aren't that drastically different, I think people focus too much on what's right and what's wrong and trying to police how other people raise their kids.
I found this personal reflection on parenting as a westerner living among members of an indigenous culture to be thought provoking. She questions the values some of the current trends in parenting are trying to instill, and she tells some funny stories.
Good article, thanks.
As a stay at home parent, currently taking care of two due to Summer Vacation, I feel all this. In raising my two, this is something I've frequently thought about, especially as it relates to the old adage, "It takes a village..." I don't necessarily have any cohesive thoughts here, but the way that we expect, in our society, one parent to manage children full time is insane. Especially when we consider our society really isn't built with kids in mind, in spite of the societal undercurrent of, "You should have kids!"
Even in spite of trying to raise my kids to be independent and figure things out on their own, there's still this societal guilt that tends to overwhelm me when I'm not paying my utmost attention to them. I want them to go explore, play, learn, but there's always a mental undercurrent, "I should be trying to help them grow." Even though I know they're often better off trying to figure it out on their own.
But our society isn't built around the collective, just look at how the Pandemic went for an indication of that. So much as I'd love to see similar practices in our own society--how I would love it to have a close friend or family member say, "Let me just take your kids for a week, you need a break."--I don't necessarily think it's possible; whatever collective ideals we had, have only broken down even further in recent memory.