29 votes

How the heck do you go about moving cross country?

I live in the southeast, and I'm finally in a situation where nothing is really keeping me here, so in the next month or so I'm intending to begin selling everything I can't fit in my car, and move out west.

Unfortunately, I don't have a job lined up or anything like that, which obviously makes things more difficult. I figure something like offering to put a year of rent into an escrow account can probably cover that?

On top of that though, how are you supposed to get a feel for everything? Like, there are virtual tours and things like that, but it's not exactly the same.

I guess I'm just looking for general advice and tips at this stage. I feel like I don't even really know what I should be asking, but I'm definitely intent on ending up on the west coast.

20 comments

  1. [7]
    Halfloaf
    Link
    I recently completed a move from the Midwest to the east coast for a job, and we basically split it into a couple of parts. Before even accepting the job offer, my partner and I flew to the city...

    I recently completed a move from the Midwest to the east coast for a job, and we basically split it into a couple of parts.

    Before even accepting the job offer, my partner and I flew to the city for a weekend to take a look at possible housing options. Friday and Saturday morning were spent scoping out neighborhoods, while Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning were then scoping out potential rental options.

    It was a lot, but we’re really glad we did that much physical research. We really like the place that we picked (and got lucky enough to get), and I don’t know how we would’ve done it without going there in person to scope everything out.

    27 votes
    1. [5]
      venn177
      Link Parent
      I feel similarly about wanting to do this, but then I worry about 'striking out' per se and being out more than a few hundred bucks-- between boarding my dog, a round-trip ticket, the ubers, car...

      I flew to the city for a weekend to take a look at possible housing options

      I feel similarly about wanting to do this, but then I worry about 'striking out' per se and being out more than a few hundred bucks-- between boarding my dog, a round-trip ticket, the ubers, car rental, etc. It feels like it would be a lot. Any sort of optimization I can do there?

      7 votes
      1. [2]
        Halfloaf
        Link Parent
        I think I would trust Internet-level searches for some rough ideas on neighborhood quality, or places to see in person, but I’d also take a chance to drive / transit around a little in between...

        I think I would trust Internet-level searches for some rough ideas on neighborhood quality, or places to see in person, but I’d also take a chance to drive / transit around a little in between rental showing appointments, if possible. I really don’t know how to optimize it better, unfortunately.

        Do you have your destination narrowed down to a region or a city?

        11 votes
        1. artvandelay
          Link Parent
          A big +1 to taking transit around a city and exploring neighborhoods of whatever city you want to move to. While you can get a rough idea of what a neighborhood is like on the internet, nothing...

          A big +1 to taking transit around a city and exploring neighborhoods of whatever city you want to move to. While you can get a rough idea of what a neighborhood is like on the internet, nothing matches first-hand experience. I recently experienced this myself funnily enough. I've been looking at moving into the big city near the suburb I live in. People on the internet recommended a handful of neighborhoods and mentioned that the neighborhoods I was originally looking at aren't the best choice for someone in their 20s like myself. Well, I checked out the neighborhoods the internet mentioned and really wasn't a fan. Walking through the neighborhoods I was looking at originally, I really liked them and started focusing my apartment search around those neighborhoods.

          10 votes
      2. jackson
        Link Parent
        Much better to 'strike out' in this manner and lose a few hundred bucks than to commit to an apartment that you don't actually like and be out thousands over the course of a year in my opinion....

        but then I worry about 'striking out' per se and being out more than a few hundred bucks

        Much better to 'strike out' in this manner and lose a few hundred bucks than to commit to an apartment that you don't actually like and be out thousands over the course of a year in my opinion. Even if you don't find a particular building you like, you'll get a feel for some neighborhoods, some of the landlords in town (the majority of apartments these days are owned by corporate landlords; if you visit one of their buildings and it's obviously not cared for well, the others are probably not worth your time either), and the city as a whole.

        I imagine you'll have a little trouble applying to apartments over your lack of employment. Depending on their policies, showing you have at least 6 months' rent in a bank account may be enough, but definitely ask before applying so you're not wasting time money on applications. Some cities require that their screening criteria is publicly available on their website which could also save you some time here.

        6 votes
      3. Boojum
        Link Parent
        The last time I moved interstate, the new company flew me out for a couple of days and hired a real estate agent to take me around to various rentals. She knew the area well, drove me around to...

        The last time I moved interstate, the new company flew me out for a couple of days and hired a real estate agent to take me around to various rentals. She knew the area well, drove me around to promising rental houses that she had in her system, and -- as a realtor -- she was able to unlock the door gizmos so that we could go inside and view them. Once I'd decided on one, she helped manage the lease paper work.

        Realtors can do more than just buying and selling houses. Chatting with her, it sounded like rental finding was an easy way for her to pick up a little bit extra money in between the big home sales. (Admittedly, this was back in the downturn of '09 when the market was tighter.)

        2 votes
    2. JCPhoenix
      Link Parent
      Same, Midwest to East Coast, though I did it alone. I finally moved a few months ago, but back in October 2023, I flew out to the new city, friend picked me up, and we checked out apartments in...

      Same, Midwest to East Coast, though I did it alone. I finally moved a few months ago, but back in October 2023, I flew out to the new city, friend picked me up, and we checked out apartments in various parts of town. I did it as a long weekend, and we spent a couple days looking at places and just driving around, getting a feel for neighborhoods. OK, I could live here, or, no...I think I'll pass on this one; looks rough.

      And very similarly, I'm glad I was able to be on the ground to actually tour apartments. I had my picks ranked, and in case I couldn't get my top options, I could quickly pivot to one of the other apartments, without wondering if the place was OK or not.

      A few years back, a friend of mine moved to my previous city after I got him a job where I worked. He did not have the benefit of scoping it out beforehand, as he had only like two weeks to move. He was in such a rush that he basically picked the first affordable place he could find online. At least I could advise which neighborhoods to avoid. As such, the place he moved into was a bit of shithole. He knows now that he really should try to check places out himself beforehand. And maybe don't start a new job in a new city with only two weeks to spare!

      5 votes
  2. Zorind
    Link
    I would highly recommend traveling in person to check a place out before moving in. I have moved cross country twice, but both times I had someone I was moving in with on the other side, which...

    I would highly recommend traveling in person to check a place out before moving in.

    I have moved cross country twice, but both times I had someone I was moving in with on the other side, which made it a fair bit easier, and also not applicable to your situation.

    If you have more stuff you are planning on moving with than will fit in your own vehicle, I can recommend using a “moving pod” service like U-Pack or PODS. I personally used U-Pack, and while stuff did shift around in transit, it was pretty hassle-free and easy enough, though I think it was around $3k for the two-thousand or so miles I had it shipped (a few years ago). Which is both a lot, and not very much at the same time.

    Edit: I guess I missed where you said you were selling what you couldn’t fit in your car, so maybe not helpful to you, but I figured I’d leave my comment alone in case others want to reference it later.

    19 votes
  3. [3]
    artvandelay
    Link
    I mentioned this in another comment but the best way to get a feel for things is to actually live in and explore the area you want to move to. People usually go about this in a few different ways....

    I mentioned this in another comment but the best way to get a feel for things is to actually live in and explore the area you want to move to. People usually go about this in a few different ways. You could just get a hotel room near the area you want to live in and try to get a feel for things over a weekend. If you want to get a more natural feel, you could go for an Airbnb apartment/home for a week/month and really get a feel for things.

    A cheaper way to also get a surface level feel for an area could be POV walking videos on YouTube. It's definitely not the best way to explore a neighborhood and it might be hard to find videos depending on the area you're trying to move to but I like watching them just to get a basic idea of how things look/feel.

    11 votes
    1. [2]
      Zorind
      Link Parent
      Oh, a "long term" rental like an Airbnb for a week/month is a great option I would think. Especially if you aren't moving a bunch of stuff at first, that would let you get to know an area, and...

      Oh, a "long term" rental like an Airbnb for a week/month is a great option I would think. Especially if you aren't moving a bunch of stuff at first, that would let you get to know an area, and give some stability while you look for an apartment to rent for actually moving to.

      Works best if you can still leave your "permanent" address at your old place while you are moving, but I believe you could also likely get a P.O. Box from a post office in the area you are planning to move to, to use for local mail or as a "local" address while you figure the rest out.

      5 votes
      1. artvandelay
        Link Parent
        Rental P.O box was actually something I didn't even consider but would work too. I believe the USPS lets you rent P.O boxes so you could rent a P.O box as you live in an Airbnb and explore a...

        Rental P.O box was actually something I didn't even consider but would work too. I believe the USPS lets you rent P.O boxes so you could rent a P.O box as you live in an Airbnb and explore a neighborhood for a bit. Overall the Airbnb + P.O Box option wouldn't be cheap but it would be a hell of a lot cheaper than trying to break a lease and sign a new one elsewhere.

        4 votes
  4. OBLIVIATER
    Link
    Moving without a job is pretty scary, what industry are you in? You mentioned putting up a year's worth of rent in escrow so it sounds like you have enough money saved up to be pretty comfortable...

    Moving without a job is pretty scary, what industry are you in? You mentioned putting up a year's worth of rent in escrow so it sounds like you have enough money saved up to be pretty comfortable without a job for a while.

    When I moved from a small rural town in NC all the way to LA (pretty much as different and far away as you can get from where I grew up) it took me a hot minute to get over the culture shock. My living situation fell through while I was making the drive across the country so I had to scramble to find a room to rent on FB marketplace while staying in hotels which ate up a lot of my savings. While I eventually landed on my feet, it was pretty stressful and soured my first impressions of LA quite a bit. Didn't help that only 4 months after moving there and starting my life over, covid hit and basically shut down the entire city and put me back to square one. If I wasn't young and adaptable I probably wouldn't have been able to get through it as well as I did, and I definitely couldn't go through that bullshit again haha.

    I basically did what you did though, except I did have a job lined up. I moved out of my place with only what I could fit in the back of my tiny Volvo S40 (that thing was crammed so full of crap that it weighed the suspension down a full 6 inches) and drove across the country in a week with no real plan and only a vague idea of what my life was going to be like. I think you'll be ok, sometimes you just need a big life change and a cross country move will definitely give you that. Just don't be like me and lock yourself in your room for 6 months straight doing nothing but working and playing video games; it'll kill your motivation and ambition to do anything exciting and fun.

    10 votes
  5. [4]
    roo1ster
    Link
    I moved from small town in TX to Seattle during the dotcom boom 25ish years ago. I recently spent 3 months in the greater San Diego area, ultimately deciding to move there 'soon'. The nice part...

    I moved from small town in TX to Seattle during the dotcom boom 25ish years ago. I recently spent 3 months in the greater San Diego area, ultimately deciding to move there 'soon'.

    The nice part about a large city is that whatever culture or scene you'd like, it's there. And on the slight chance it isn't, there are a bazillion other cultures/scenes you've likely never considered and could very likely end up liking more. Think about what you were into 10 years ago. How much is you ten years from now going to appreciate that you're living in a city you chose b/c of its super active XYZ community?

    If you've already decided to move, I'd recommend spending a LOT of time pondering what you can/can't tolerate weather-wise. Seattle's 7+ months of 40s and rainy or SD's 10 months of sunny will have far more impact on your general happiness than the next 10 things you can think of to pick a long term destination by.

    After weather, I'd be asking "does this city have a healthy <sector of the economy I work in>" and "what will my commute look like? (decent mass transit? Can I afford a car here? Is it possible to live in walking distance of work?)".

    I can't think of anything else that won't sort itself out over time. Hopefully others will chime in with stuff that won't that I didn't think of... :)

    7 votes
    1. [3]
      chocobean
      Link Parent
      And not just current climate either -- account for the next ten years' increases and what happens to the city when electricity stops.

      And not just current climate either -- account for the next ten years' increases and what happens to the city when electricity stops.

      4 votes
      1. [2]
        roo1ster
        Link Parent
        TRUTH!!!! When I moved to Seattle I'd never seen snow accumulate for more than ~24 hours. 10 years later I was learning to snowboard*. 20 years later, all the local slopes were starting to have...

        TRUTH!!!! When I moved to Seattle I'd never seen snow accumulate for more than ~24 hours. 10 years later I was learning to snowboard*. 20 years later, all the local slopes were starting to have real issues with snow mass. 25 years later, they are utter shite. Joke's on the climate though - I got a hip replacement and high impact sports are now entirely off my menu (I never gotgud enough to avoid having a couple good spills every season, possibly influenced by how bad the snow conditions have gotten in the PNW).

        *turns out you CAN get some sun in January in WA if you're above the cloud cover!!!

        2 votes
        1. chocobean
          Link Parent
          Weather was nearly always great at SFU mountain (Burnaby BC) as well. But the clouds never bothered me anyway; it's the sun I can't stand Wildfires are becoming a concern in California as well....

          Weather was nearly always great at SFU mountain (Burnaby BC) as well. But the clouds never bothered me anyway; it's the sun I can't stand

          Wildfires are becoming a concern in California as well. -..- choose home buying location wisely, or else have a plan to make money for X number of years and get out.

          2 votes
  6. RadDevon
    Link
    I've made two cross-country moves in the last 8 years. It's challenging, but it can be done. In my experience, a lot of apartments will not care if you can put some amount of money into an escrow...

    I've made two cross-country moves in the last 8 years. It's challenging, but it can be done.

    In my experience, a lot of apartments will not care if you can put some amount of money into an escrow if you don't have income. All they care about is income. I'm sure you can find smaller mom & pop landlords who would be fine with it, but big corporate landlords may be off the table for you.

    The problem with finding housing is going to be that it seems you're wanting to do a lot of your research remotely. That's possible, but for the most part only with the big corporate landlords if you want to "tour" remotely with more fidelity than a few photos on a web site. These landlords spring for fancy 3D tours you can "walk" through virtually, which do a much better job than photos of giving you a sense of the space. These apartments are going to be the more expensive ones and likely the ones with more stringent requirements for things like income.

    Do you do work that would allow you to work remotely? If so, I would consider focusing on finding an employer who will either allow you to move and work remotely or one who is already remote to you and doesn't care about your location. I think this could grease the wheels quite a bit and make things easier for you.

    I'll also echo the advice of others to visit in person. In both of my moves, I spent some time in the destination touring apartments and getting a feel for various neighborhoods in person. Apart from the difficulty of getting a sense for a space without being in it, you'll have an emotional reaction that you absolutely can't predict by looking at virtual tours and Google Street View. Those emotions about your new place are pretty important.

    Alternatively, you could just do as much research as you can online and try to find a one-year lease that will qualify you with only your year of pre-paid rent. Look at that year as your time to feel out your new place and find a more permanent home — although, as others have noted don't get too comfortable anywhere you like on the west coast unless you have a capacity to grow your income significantly each year to match rising rents. Bet on 10% or greater increases each year in popular cities.

    4 votes
  7. [2]
    Requirement
    Link
    I might be a content expert on trans-American moves, given I've now moved 4 times in 6 years. Just brace for how truly expensive it will be. Double your budget, minimum. From the sounds of it you...

    I might be a content expert on trans-American moves, given I've now moved 4 times in 6 years.

    1. Just brace for how truly expensive it will be. Double your budget, minimum. From the sounds of it you are moving from a relatively low cost of living area to a higher cost of living area and, if you've never lived in one, you might be truly surprised all the ways that creeps up on you. On top of that you are going to want to go explore your new area (consciously or not) and that ends up costing a decent amount of money. I mean, if you're just going to stay inside, why bother moving, right? Oh, also so many things add up in a move: boxes, rolls of tape, rebuying all that stuff you sold because it didn't fit in your car, travel expenses just driving across the country... Moving is expensive.
    2. Virtual tours definitely exist in some capacities. Youtube walking tours of cities are a thing I guess and that can be helpful. I'd still suggest flying out to the area you think you want to live in (keeping in mind that you will also be on a vacation high while there) to maybe get a bit more boots on ground. Some real estate agents offer area tours - sometimes for money sometimes by leading them on - and can be helpful in finding a place to live
    3. Putting rent in escrow for a year will fly with very few landlords. A job with income is usually the stronger thing. As others have said, make sure the area you are moving to actually has jobs in your field and keep in mind industries can be very different in different localities. When I moved to Portland with decades of service industry experience, I figured it would be easy to slot in at a bar or restaurant but a few hundred applications later, I had a desk job. Life is weird.
    4. Check out some city subreddits (or ask here?) for places that you want to go. I wouldn't post anything because every subreddit is inundated with "Thinking of moving to XXX what do I need to know?" posts so there is generally a lot of information already available. Use those posts as jumping off points and do some google streetview investigation.
    5. Think about when you plan on actually moving because rentals are somewhat seasonal. It's not a terrible idea to keep track of what's on the market in cities you are looking at through zillow/redfin/apartments.com/whatever website. Maybe even reach out to some landlords for virtual tours, I've never had a problem with finding a landlord/property manager willing to do a Zoom tour, especially post-pandemic. If you get lucky you can find some great small-time landlords who can also serve as a wealth of community knowledge and help answer questions for you.

    I'm sure I have an encyclopedia's worth of information that I could pass on but this is kind of the first pass of things that came to mind. If you have more specific questions I would be happy to attempt an answer.

    4 votes
    1. vord
      Link Parent
      My SIL had good luck with 'straight up paying first 3 months, then having the rest in escrow,' even with a corporate landlord. Plus the typical security deposits. A big payment upfront assuages a...

      Putting rent in escrow for a year will fly with very few landlords

      My SIL had good luck with 'straight up paying first 3 months, then having the rest in escrow,' even with a corporate landlord. Plus the typical security deposits.

      A big payment upfront assuages a lot of concerns.

      2 votes
  8. chocobean
    (edited )
    Link
    Two of my best friend moved to different provinces site unseen, but they did so with some very important deal breaking caveats, which all boil down to "runway" Very little outgoing expense: New...

    Two of my best friend moved to different provinces site unseen, but they did so with some very important deal breaking caveats, which all boil down to "runway"

    1. Very little outgoing expense: New home was already set up and so cheap, if they landed and found out it was terrible they still had enough money and time left to slowly look for better

    2. High speed internet. These places had high speed internet. Not just what they were told, they verified with an ISP and started the accounts to begin on move in date. (There are places that claimed they had high speed internet but didn't. Personally I always verify now from these stories)

    3. Money coming in. One had a remote job that didn't care where they went or if I moved 5 times in as many months, and the other has job lined up at the new location from the same company different branch.

    Sure you can live off savings, but west coast is $$$$$ and you might burn through it faster than you'd like. I would highly suggest you "get a feel for a place" by looking for work and doing some interviews: have them fly you out, stay an extra week or two with a rental car, and check out nearby neighborhoods.

    If you don't work for an industry that thinks nothing of flying you out for interviews on the west coast, I would be even more cautious. Housing affordability is insane everywhere, and even if you had money to rent, many landlords don't want renters who have no current employment, and employment don't want employees who might live really far away so you could possibly get stuck in a catch 22 where you gotta move to get a job but you can't move cuz you have no job.

    As your runway shrinks, your stress will increase.

    Do some interviews/tours first, unless your current mental health depends on getting the heck out at top speed.

    (Addendum: other friends who moved site unseen - one was marrying into a big family that's well established in the area, another was a political refugee with good skills and job lined up hit the ground running, and another was a tech person whose company basically set up everything down to bedding and towels.)

    2 votes