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  • Showing only topics in ~life with the tag "ask.advice". Back to normal view / Search all groups
    1. My premise is that you genuinely want to help the company and the next person who moves into your old position. Maybe you got a promotion, or you found an even-better job. In any case, you want...

      My premise is that you genuinely want to help the company and the next person who moves into your old position. Maybe you got a promotion, or you found an even-better job. In any case, you want the old coworkers to succeed, and you want to make a smooth transition.

      So there’s a few pieces to this:

      • What do you do when you leave a job?

      • What have other people done, when they left/moved on, that gave you the knowledge and skills you needed to excel?

      • What did they NOT provide that you wish they had?

      It’d be easy for me to focus on “what did you do” but none of us know how successful that was. So tell me, rather, about your experience as the person picking up the reins. What did that teach you about the process?

      Anecdotes welcome! (And tell me how to refer to you in the article. Private is fine.)

      10 votes
    2. I am going to be graduating with a BA in Economics in May, and I am overwhelmed, like most people, with all the stuff that I am now responsible for. I was mostly wondering what advice you wish you...

      I am going to be graduating with a BA in Economics in May, and I am overwhelmed, like most people, with all the stuff that I am now responsible for. I was mostly wondering what advice you wish you heard when you were 22.

      10 votes
    3. I hope this is the appropriate Tilde for this. If no one has any input it will still have helped me to type this out. TL;DR In over my head with marriage, foster care, family, and work. My wife...

      I hope this is the appropriate Tilde for this. If no one has any input it will still have helped me to type this out.

      TL;DR In over my head with marriage, foster care, family, and work.

      My wife and I became foster parents about 1.5 years ago with the intention to not adopt, but to care for children 3 and under while bio parents worked to regain custody or other permanent placements were arranged. Our first placement was two girls (7 mo and 2.5 yrs) despite wanting to do just one kid at a time (especially to start). We had them for 6 weeks and mom got them back. We had another placement (8 mo boy) for about another 6 weeks. There was a considerable lull and we were getting frustrated about not getting any new placements when the girls from our first placement were placed into custody again. So we were able to take them in again (now about 1.2 and 3.5 yrs). FF to now and we've had them for about 6 months.

      We never really intended to have more than one child and for quite this long and we're struggling. My wife has always had a little less ability to weather stressful situations like this and these last 2-3 weeks I'm carrying a lot of weight. In the meantime, bio mom has gotten pregnant and there's not another hearing regarding custody for another 9 months. We fully expect that she will not be able to take them back at that time (or really realistically ever). What should probably happen would be that the county could place the kids into permanent custody (basically getting them adopted). However, from what we've heard from other foster families, temporary custody could drag on for years.

      So, our main dilemma is this. We are not equipped (as a couple) to care for these kids for years. With the likely prospect of no change in custody in the near future, it feels like the best thing for these kids would be to get them into the care of someone looking to do this long-term, perhaps to eventually adopt. That being said, we absolutely love them and it feels like some kind of betrayal to force them to make yet another transition. On the other hand, with our limitations, it seems like that is inevitable anyway. Do we try to make that happen sooner?

      Some other data points:
      Our fostering license expires in October (about a month after the hearing is scheduled) and we don't intend to continue fostering (at least for a while, and definitely not with our current agency).
      We don't have many family members close by to give us a hand with the kids, making us feel isolated and making it hard to get breaks from the kids. Our agency has not been very helpful with lining up respite care, but we're trying to be more aggressive about that now.
      I've got things pretty well lined up to retire in about 5 years. My company is also just now kicking off a major project of a similar time frame and I'm in a good position to really make a mark before moving on. It will probably require some serious time commitments and effort to do it the way I want to.

      Thanks for listening.

      12 votes
    4. I've recently accepted a new developer role for a small tech company where everyone works remotely. I've had experience of working from home as a freelancer in the past and slightly more recently...

      I've recently accepted a new developer role for a small tech company where everyone works remotely. I've had experience of working from home as a freelancer in the past and slightly more recently working for a distributed company, although there I was working in a small shared office with one other colleague.

      I wondered if anyone has any tips or advice on how best to remain productive as well as avoid distractions and try to keep a work/life balance?

      I do intend to eventually find a co-working space but immediately I plan to work from home for at least the first few months.

      Thanks!

      16 votes
    5. I'm sitting here, not being able to sleep and watching every single John Mayer music video ever made, finding myself a little stuck. I've got good friends, I've got a free environment to do...

      I'm sitting here, not being able to sleep and watching every single John Mayer music video ever made, finding myself a little stuck.

      I've got good friends, I've got a free environment to do whatever I want to do, and I've got enough stuff around me to keep me alive. Somehow, this isn't what I hoped for.

      Ever since I was a kid, I always dreamed of this moment. I'm on my own. I've got my axe, and I'm ready for battle, but, I can't swing this thing, man. I don't have enough motivation, something I've been struggling with since I was born. I'm a chronic procrastinator, even when it's about something I actually want to. I want to sit down, write music, and make people smile. I want to do all these things, but I can't find enough willpower to do it. Maybe it's just my current emotional state holding me back. I miss the connection I used to have with someone that put me at my absolute peak in life.

      It's so unbelievably unfair to me that someone that seemed to help me so much and bring me up can just walk out on me like that with no explanation. She made me a better person when she was around, and a worse person when she's not. I don't understand why I still think about it every single day. I guess this is more of a rant / self help post, but I do pose one question:

      How do I get rid of the constant thought of someone? She's connected to everything I do in life and I really gotta fucking stop. Is there something I'm missing when it comes to getting over someone? Do I chase her? I've tried before, but it ended worse the second time around.

      Anyone have similar experiences? I'm sure there are some sad wrecks out there tonight. Come and share your story about the best person you've ever met that you'll never meet again.

      12 votes