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    1. How do I convince my workplace we need SQL databases?

      I work for a GIS company and our tools have not grown with our projects and client base. We use ArcPro personal geo databases (GDBs) for ALL data. We recently had a project where shit really hit...

      I work for a GIS company and our tools have not grown with our projects and client base. We use ArcPro personal geo databases (GDBs) for ALL data. We recently had a project where shit really hit the fan, one major issue was related to invalid values from poor version control. Everything uses personal GDBs and is just "version controlled" by dating filenames in Explorer. It would have been trivial to fix in a proper database. We also have operational constraints, like we can only have one person doing X job at a time since all the data for X job is in a personal GDB.

      But I'm just an analyst. I've garnered some attention for my technical expertise beyond processing the data. PostGIS is a thing so it isn't as though we'd be recreating the wheel. How can I push for that sort of change? I'm thinking I can sell it using how much we lost on this project because of these avoidable failures. I'm also wondering if I can make this an opportunity to create a "database administrator" position for myself

      29 votes
    2. At the end of our ropes

      I’m here to ask the community for help. I know we’re a neurodiverse bunch, so I’ve got good hopes somebody can relate to this. My son is currently 16 and has always struggled with basic tasks....

      I’m here to ask the community for help. I know we’re a neurodiverse bunch, so I’ve got good hopes somebody can relate to this.

      My son is currently 16 and has always struggled with basic tasks. He’s gone through many tests and trainings when he was elementary school, but executive functions remain a challenge. From previous tests, we know he has an IQ of over 145. Back when he was tested, the psychologist advised to change his school curriculum to get him more engaged. This has partially worked: he’s been having more fun at school and has had some really cool academical achievements. But his struggle with basic day to day tasks and school work remains the same, and keeping focus is by far the most problematic part of it.

      With going to middle school came owning a phone and iPad. From day one, these do get his full attention. Me and my son are much alike when it comes to obsessive behavior, so I sometimes feel like I’m looking in the mirror when I see him with his phone. I too can lose myself in a game and binge it in a weekend. But for me, it isn’t 24/7. I can turn it off when it needs to be off. So I’ve always been strict with rules about screen time for him, but these rules have gone out the window in the last 2 years. There has been lying, sneaking and hiding to increase screen time. It has had a negative effect on our family and it’s draining to have to deal with this daily. I think that’s why we’ve somewhat given up on it, it was impossible to keep in check.

      In the past 3 years, he has started to really experience the negative impact of his challenges. We’ve attempted to help him plan his days, to plan his school work, to do chores in the house. But nothing seems to stick and he gets frustrated with himself and it is affecting his mood. In an attempt to find out more about what is causing his difficulties with basic tasks, we’ve asked a psychologist to look into AD(H)D. After an assessment, they’ve now come back with their findings. According to them, it cannot be AD(H)D because he can focus on things he likes (a board game was their example). Their rationale is that people with ADHD cannot focus on any task, even if they like them. They are saying it is his IQ, that he’s too bored to focus on basic tasks. According to them, he should force himself to do menial tasks and that we should be there to enforce this with rules and praise. Like we haven’t tried this already without any results. To say that I’m disappointed and furious about this outcome, is an understatement. It leaves us dead in the water and this makes me feel hopeless.

      I’m hoping to gain some insights by reading your comments. This attempt might point us in a new direction, because I’m fine if it is something entirely different than ADHD. I just really want him to feel better.

      40 votes
    3. Ten years since my last PC build - Help me spec a quiet mATX rig

      My current computer is finally old enough that we need something new. Something nice. Something that doesn't run modded Xcom 2 at sub 15fps. But the long gap in my knowledge has left me wondering...

      My current computer is finally old enough that we need something new. Something nice. Something that doesn't run modded Xcom 2 at sub 15fps. But the long gap in my knowledge has left me wondering in a state where I don't even know enough anymore to make educated decisions on a new PC build.

      Here's what I do know:

      • I want a microATX board
      • I want a quiet and smaller case
      • I want to keep my current Geforce 3060
      • My Budget is roughly 1k, but flexible

      Past that, my knowledge is now pretty much out of date. Is AMD currently better? Is Noctua still a good and quiet fan? How fast does ram really need to be? Are things pretty standard priced, or do I need to wait for Microcenter to have a sale?

      Thanks for your help, appreciate you!

      21 votes
    4. Considering the RAV4 hybrid

      I am looking to replace our current vehicle (17 expedition) because of some issues (1st gen Ecoboost... eats plugs every 30k miles, runs rich, poorer than expected milage, plus the looming threat...

      I am looking to replace our current vehicle (17 expedition) because of some issues (1st gen Ecoboost... eats plugs every 30k miles, runs rich, poorer than expected milage, plus the looming threat of cam phaser and timing issues common to this motor) and the fact we don't really need the space anymore now that my kids are out of the full size baby seats and our dog doesn't travel with us much anymore (because we don't travel much anymore..).

      I have always bought used. The expedition I bought with 70k miles on it and now it has around 135k. I'm growing tired of swapping cars every 3-4 years, so I started doing research a few months back and the name that keeps coming up again and again is the RAV4.

      I test drove one to make sure I fit (6'3" and certainly no stranger to cheesecake) and the fit was nice. I used to drive a 13 Ford focus so I figured it would be fine, and it was. I think I'm most interested in the hybrid drivetrain as the allure of the e-cvt (chunky planetary gear system, no clutches, seems incredibly bulletproof) is quite tempting. Not to mention we mostly drive city and the better mpg is a nice bonus, but the cost difference between the 2 make that a bit of a moot point. I realize the long term cost of batteries and "cable gate" but I'm not too concerned.

      My reservation is that based on the used sales figures for these newer (23+) rav4s, it just doesn't make sense to buy used. If I buy the one we want new, it's around 41k out the door. This would be the most expensive vehicle I've ever purchased by an 8k margin.

      Our payment versus our current car would go up about 200 per month, but our gas costs will go down about 130 per month so the delta isn't huge. Since the resale value on these vehicles is so high, I'd be "right side up" on the value within 18 or so months. However, the ultimate goal for this car is to have it for 15+ years.

      I've never not had a car payment because I had transmission issues or engine issues with them all. I had a Pontiac g6 with transmission issues, a GMC sierra with transmission issues, the focus had the dreaded DCT, I had a ram truck for a little bit which was falling apart almost as soon as I bought it (snapped 3 manifold bolts within 500 miles of owning it just to start), and now we have this expedition.

      I'm kind of tired of American car brands at this point, I seem to be eternally let down and churning through vehicles. I want something safe, reliable and that will drive for decades. With that, the RAV4 seems to hit the mark. It's not a sexy option but I don't really care about that. I've heard it described as a dishwasher on wheels - an appliance, not an exciting driver. That sounds appealing for what I want this vehicle to be.

      I guess the reason I'm making this post is to consider whether this is a good idea. I'm not really worried about whether I can afford it (I can), I just don't like spending money and this would be a lot of it. Having said that, it's value seems to be projected to hold up extremely well, just as most Toyotas do, and as you can see from my previous vehicles, I'm not used to that. I want a very long term vehicle but I also want to know that if something in my life changes and I need to get rid of it, it will have decent resale value.

      I considered the crv hybrid and the cx-50 hybrid (which has the Toyota drivetrain) but with the crv I felt less happy about extreme long term reliability (newer hybrid system so hasn't been battle tested as much yet) versus the RAV4, and the cx50 is a mazda which doesn't inspire tons of confidence. Maybe they've gotten better but my brothers 2012ish (can't recall exactly) mazda3 was riddled with electrical issues and the center console broke (we think the dealer knew about it and tried a jank repair due to some tape we found) and Mazda wouldn't do anything to fix it (the dealer nor nearby dealers and Mazda customer service themselves).

      Anyway, every time I start researching I always come back to the RAV4.

      I don't want a 2026 model because I don't buy new models on their first years, plus they look worse than the previous models.

      What are your thoughts on the cSUV market?

      Edit: I'm in TX so cold isn't an issue 95% of the time as far as hybrid battery issues go

      19 votes
    5. Help choosing a new linux computer?

      Ok, so my computer is starting to fail in a way I can't fix (never get an Alienware, folks. It's not easily user serviceable, and the parts are very specific to fit in the fancy case so you can't...

      Ok, so my computer is starting to fail in a way I can't fix (never get an Alienware, folks. It's not easily user serviceable, and the parts are very specific to fit in the fancy case so you can't easily replace things when they fail,) and so I'm back on the market for something new. Given the impending forced transition to Windows 11, I'm thinking this is the right time to also switch from Windows to some Linux distro, so I can have all the fun of figuring out a new OS on new hardware.

      Given that I'm stepping into unknown territory here, is there anything specific that the fine people of Tildes can suggest/advise/warn me about when it comes to getting a new computer with Linux? I know there's a bunch of different flavors of Linux, and most of the major computer brands seem to offer Ubuntu as a default OS if desired, but I'm just hoping y'all can help me avoid any really obvious pitfalls.

      I use my PC for a combination of work and gaming, but the work is all entirely online, so Firefox is all I need on that end. I play a bunch of games, but from what I can see most games can be played in Linux these days?

      I guess I'm mostly hoping to not get caught out by anything I don't know I don't know. Help?

      38 votes
    6. Making DND maps

      As someone who DM's a lot of short, casual sessions with rotating members, I burn through a lot of maps. I'd love to hear some of your recommendations for how you guys either find or create maps...

      As someone who DM's a lot of short, casual sessions with rotating members, I burn through a lot of maps. I'd love to hear some of your recommendations for how you guys either find or create maps that suit your situations.

      For me: r/battlemaps has some really high quality stuff and gets me 90% of the time. I usually type in a key word or two (e.g. bridge; throne room) and usually I'll find something that gets close to the mark.

      I know that some have been using generative AI to delve into this space as well, so if anyone has any experience there, I'd love to hear it!

      23 votes
    7. UPS recommendations for home use?

      I have traditionally used APC's UPS products for my NAS, router, media centre and desktop computer. Nothing fancy, just something to survive short power outages and to allow graceful shutdowns if...

      I have traditionally used APC's UPS products for my NAS, router, media centre and desktop computer. Nothing fancy, just something to survive short power outages and to allow graceful shutdowns if such an outage lasts longer than a few minutes.

      Unfortunately, I have had three of APC's devices malfunction in the past decade and while their customer support has always been excellent, I would prefer products that just work and don't cause me additional headaches. Do you know of any UPSs that you would recommend for home use and are reasonably priced? I'm located in the EU, if that makes a difference.

      31 votes
    8. Thoughts on making one's own dry mixes?

      A general thought that came from a more specific one I had the other day: I've been trying to make sure I eat breakfast by making overnight oats, but it can be a pain on tired nights to get it set...

      A general thought that came from a more specific one I had the other day: I've been trying to make sure I eat breakfast by making overnight oats, but it can be a pain on tired nights to get it set up.

      Are there any gotchas with making your own mixes of dry goods? I feel like I know enough to scare myself with things like "oh well that might not be shelf-stable when mixed since xyz pathogen from it grows well when provided with abc".

      At the moment, I'm just imagining prepping like a weeks worth of oats, chia seeds, raisins, etc. so that I can dump milk in each night, which seems like it would be totally fine.

      13 votes
    9. How to stop seeking validation?

      I don't know why but I feel like I always want validation from others for anything I do, either online or IRL. especially if I'm trying to do something new or a little different. I have no idea...

      I don't know why but I feel like I always want validation from others for anything I do, either online or IRL. especially if I'm trying to do something new or a little different. I have no idea how to stop doing that... I'd appreciate any advice

      39 votes
    10. I want to learn to draw on my iPad

      I have recently found myself wanting to learn to draw. I have very minimal visual arts skills, and feel much more comfortable with a musical instrument than a sketchbook. I would like to change...

      I have recently found myself wanting to learn to draw. I have very minimal visual arts skills, and feel much more comfortable with a musical instrument than a sketchbook. I would like to change that, not to become some exceptional artist or anything, but because I like the idea of being able to just sketch and draw and doodle in my spare time.

      I have an iPad, Apple Pencil, and ProCreate, but I don't really know where to begin. I would be most likely learning to use ProCreate at the same time as learning to draw, although I don't know if that's a bad idea or not.

      Are there books, online courses, YouTube videos that you would recommend for a complete beginner?

      25 votes
    11. Looking for some cat advice

      Caveat: I'm following up with my vet for most of this, but she's newer and is having to do a lot of consulting with other vets in the practice. Info: I have three cats, adult female - Nova, 13ish?...

      Caveat: I'm following up with my vet for most of this, but she's newer and is having to do a lot of consulting with other vets in the practice.

      Info: I have three cats,

      Ok so, my girl Nova has been diagnosed with diabetes. This has entirely upended our feeding schedule and she's not coping well with it. We'd previously used some automatic feeders that dropped food 6 times a day, because she would stress out about not having food and then overeat and would throw up in both scenarios. But now all three cats are on different food (all kibble), and at least Nova would prefer to eat any food but her own, or have seconds, but the others would too if left to it. So they're being fed in different rooms at the same time.

      Nova is ravenous, aggressively trying to drag her bowl out of my hands, headbutting the tub of her food (she caught it loose once) across the floor, running to the other bowls in case there's CC. food left once they're separated. She just dove for one as I was trying to just let a cat out of the room instead of pick the bowl up. She's always under my feet in a way that she used to be good about avoiding. I've stepped on her several times, and hurt my ankle and wrist last night catching myself.

      Any suggestions for the perpetually (thinks she's) starving cat? I just got her a glucometer and am figuring it out but haven't been taught how to adjust her insulin as of yet.

      Part of the difficulty here, and another area I need solutions in, is that she'll (mostly) inadvertently scratch my partner's leg when she wants his attention usually to be fed. I think occasionally it's intentional but he uses a wheelchair and mostly can't feel the leg - a cut can be dangerous for him, but also sometimes the touch/pain sets his leg off in a spasm cycle that is incredibly painful. On a bad day he's feeling guilty for how angry he is at her and is afraid he'll hit her (he probably wouldn't, but he doesn't have the control to say intentionally tumble her like a mama cat to a kitten, and she would probably claw or bite if he tried plus she's been sick and he's already afraid of hurting all the cats with the chair.) he's done the spray bottle thing in the past, she likes water and we know it's not ideal, but it's usually something that happens when he's not looking or can't see or hear her til she gets him.

      Finally I need a better storage method for the food. Something she can't headbutt open or into dropping food, but that I can leave out in an open space. Currently I have a bag in a bathroom vanity, a tub of the Rx food in a spare room, and a bag in a closet. They have torn the bags open in the past (working together as a team, I suspect) when they're not secured.
      I've thought about the microchip feeders but the youngest isn't chipped yet and frankly they're really expensive.

      Summary of Asks:

      • Help with a diabetic cat who's perpetually starving
      • Help with getting a cat to stop scratching a human's leg who can't see it coming (addressing the first might help)
      • Help with ideas for cat food storage/dispensing that would be more accessible than 3 bags in 3 closets in 3 rooms, two of which my partner can't access.

      Bit of a vent here too, just everything is expensive right now too so I'm trying the best I can. Pics added.

      21 votes
    12. ente.io as a Google Photos alternative?

      I've been in the lengthy process of degoogling myself. Email is done, Calendars are done, drive is more or less done (but now at MS, so... yeah) - but a real sticking point is Google Photos. I...

      I've been in the lengthy process of degoogling myself. Email is done, Calendars are done, drive is more or less done (but now at MS, so... yeah) - but a real sticking point is Google Photos.

      I just love looking up places and faces and the occasional "This day one year ago" albums really lighten up my day.

      Additionally, I am a bit of a hoarder, I never ever throw out photos, so I have right now 101 GB of pictures since 2012. This will be a pain to migrate so I only want to do it once.

      I tried Immich, but could not make it work on my NUC with a very limited connection to the Internet and probably because of the vast number of images.

      I came across ente.io, and it looks promising. While 4.99€ per Month for 200gb isn't exactly cheap, it feels still okay for hosting all of my visual memories.

      But before committing, I would like to get some more feedback on this service, what is nice and what is not so nice and why you feel comfortable with entrusting them with your pictures.


      Edit
      After the very helpful answers in this thread, I signed up for a 200 GB plan, downloaded all my pictures from google and I'm currently in the process of uploading them to ente. This takes a bit longer than I thought, but then again, these are 45.000 pictures and live-pictures.
      So far, this feels pretty slick. Thanks for the feedback here.

      26 votes
    13. Looking for a better tomato

      Well, my tomato season is basically over, and I have to say it was pretty disappointing. I've been gardening in the same place for 25ish years, and the microclimate has definitely changed. More...

      Well, my tomato season is basically over, and I have to say it was pretty disappointing. I've been gardening in the same place for 25ish years, and the microclimate has definitely changed. More heat, more humidity, more rain when we get it but less rain overall.

      I've been growing my tomatoes in 20 gallon metal trashcans for various reasons, and that had been working great, but in the past two years the heat has wreaked havoc on them.

      Last year was basically total failure. This year I had 1 sort of success-- Rosella Purple grew, gave me a few delicious fruits early, shut down all summer but stayed alive, and then gave me a couple more in the last few weeks. I grew Floridade on someone's recommendation for it's heat tolerance and it did produce all summer but I really didn't like anything about it. I grew a cherry tomato I thought was Black Cherry (which I really enjoy) but turned out to be some other, red cherry that was OK but nothing special.

      I'm hoping there are people on this site who have some recommendations? I'm supposed to be US Zone 7, but it is really pushing zone 8. I'm looking for complex flavors, lowish acid and the ability to pollinate in 90-105 degrees.
      I prefer beefsteak-style or at least low acid. I prefer "black" varieties for the depth of flavor. I prefer open-pollinated for the politics.

      Or maybe you could share some tricks you've discovered to help tomatoes deal with the heat?

      I'm hoping to get a head start on planning for next year.

      24 votes
    14. Is OpenWRT worthwhile at home?

      I'm buying a WiFi router for a new house. What would we get from using a router that works with OpenWRT, versus just going with Wirecutter's top pick? Since we upgraded to fiber, I'm pretty happy...

      I'm buying a WiFi router for a new house. What would we get from using a router that works with OpenWRT, versus just going with Wirecutter's top pick?

      Since we upgraded to fiber, I'm pretty happy with the network speeds at our current house. We don't have WiFi 6. I'm fairly unlikely to mess with advanced networking features as long as the networking just works.

      The new house will also have fiber. The previous owners left us some kind of mesh networking devices, which I need to go look at tomorrow.

      If we did go with OpenWRT, is there any particular recommended hardware?

      26 votes
    15. What can I do with my old Pixel 3 phone in 2025?

      I recently moved to a place and unearthed an old Pixel 3. I updated it to the last official update (October 2021) but not sure what to do with it. It’s not worth any money (or at least I don’t...

      I recently moved to a place and unearthed an old Pixel 3. I updated it to the last official update (October 2021) but not sure what to do with it. It’s not worth any money (or at least I don’t think so) and I have a dedicated Android gaming device (Retroid Pocket 5).

      What could I do with this device?

      I was trying to think of a way to use it. Was thinking of setting it up facing my backyard to film squirrels/possums/birds, but it would likely fill the storage up in less than one day of continuous recording. I’m probably getting way ahead of myself but would there be a way to use it like an IP cam or Ring doorbell that records everything not on the device?

      Any other unrelated ideas are welcome too. I just don’t want to throw it away since it’s functioning quite well.

      29 votes
    16. Question about breathing while exercising

      this past summer, I started biking quite a bit and part of my route involves lots of hills and so forth. It was painful af the first few months, not gonna lie. although, now, my legs muscles have...

      this past summer, I started biking quite a bit and part of my route involves lots of hills and so forth. It was painful af the first few months, not gonna lie.

      although, now, my legs muscles have grown quite a bit (didn't expect that) and I am quite happy with my muscular endurance, although there is still room for improvement obviously.

      However, oddly as it sounds, my breathing is still off. As I bike up the hill, I feel heartbeat go up quite a bit and my breathing becomes quite laborious and I wind up taking quick breaths with my mouth aka panting. If I try to do it through my nose, I quickly feel like I am suffocating like I can't get enough air.

      In the beginning, this made sense. I was out of shape and all that.

      But summer is over, my legs have adapted but I feel like my breathing hasn't. when I am going up a hill, I still feel the need to pant and breathe through my mouth and take short breaths.

      Is this normal? that I would have to pant even after 3-4 months of this kind of exercise everyday. I figured my lungs or whatever would get used to the biking route I am taking by this time.

      23 votes
    17. Should I take a job to work on something I don’t believe in?

      I recently joined a tech company purportedly with a mission I believed in. Before joining I had some hesitance about how their product achieved that mission, but I liked most the people I...

      I recently joined a tech company purportedly with a mission I believed in. Before joining I had some hesitance about how their product achieved that mission, but I liked most the people I interviewed with and the offer was good. Turns out despite being profitable it’s a dumpster fire of a company led by a terrible person who is actively hostile towards my coworkers and our customers. So, I’ve been looking for a new role to get out ASAP.

      Some challenging factors: the market is tough right now and I don’t get as many interviews as I feel I should, SWE interviews remain extremely stupid, and occasionally my brain just shuts off during interviews despite practicing it a million times. So getting an offer isn’t a breeze.

      The question I’m wrestling with is should I join another company whose product I’m very skeptical of? It has market traction and many of you may have heard of it, but it’s not very compelling and it’s in the blighted world of social media (which I largely don’t use). My fear is that a bad product may necessarily mean a bad company. The confusion for me is that every single person I’ve interviewed has been incredibly down to earth and genuinely fun to talk to. They all claim to respect work-life balance (it’s remote too) and it doesn’t seem like lip service; they pay very well too. The opportunity to learn skills I can’t learn in many jobs seems compelling.

      The role itself is the title I want, but the focus I’m not wild about. It’s a bit more user growth focused than I’d typically want. The problem is my current job is wrecking my mental health and I’m desperate to get out.

      I’m interviewing with two other companies with better missions I’d much prefer to work for but both are dragging their feet and lower pay; one pays pretty terrible. I’m rapidly approaching a point where I will likely have a single offer in hand with no guarantee that others will manifest.

      Any thoughts or guidance on how to navigate this? I want to approach this as “a job is just a job” and clock in and clock out, but I’ve seen at my current role that is not possible as I carry the stress and despair into my free time. I desperately don’t want to join another toxic company, but I don’t want to use that as an excuse to stunt my career growth either.

      29 votes
    18. I could take over a business, and I really want to, but I have no idea what I'm doing

      I went to a friend's print shop today. We've been friends for a while now, business associates even longer, and it's a small mom-and-pop print shop with two presses that I go to for all my small...

      I went to a friend's print shop today. We've been friends for a while now, business associates even longer, and it's a small mom-and-pop print shop with two presses that I go to for all my small to mid-format printing needs. I'm a graphic designer, and sometimes I need a brochure, business cards or some smaller posters done. The business is well regarded, is cashflow-positive and has a strong local presence within my city.

      However, said friend - the owner and sole employee - is getting tired of the work. They want to retire, in around two or three years, and that would mean closing down the shop. They're running it as the third owner now, and previous owners have been running it since 1970. So, I joked about maybe taking it over one day - and my friend was immediately interested. They said that that would take a load off their mind, and that it would be nice to have someone like me continue the legacy of this established store.

      And, well, I gotta be honest with you, I really want to do it. The work is something I've done before (digital print, prepress, cut and finish printed products, printer maintenance and first and foremost graphic design), and my actual education was in graphic design. I'd be able to do both the craft of print production and offer more services like brand and web design to my prospective clients (which would be a value add to existing and new customers).

      The thing is, I've never run a business. I'm not a business person, and I don't know the first thing about it. I know about how to deal with customers, how to budget my time and money, and how to work in an organised and precise manner, but I've never been a manager or a boss.

      So, I guess, this is my question to the Tildesian hive mind: Is it doable? Is owning a business really that difficult if you know how to do the actual day-to-day operations well? Should I leave the safety of wage labour and try to make something of my own? Has any of you taken over a business or founded one, and if so, what are things I should know?

      PS: I'm 25 years old and am from Central Europe.

      31 votes
    19. Anyone have advice (or horror stories) on setting up a 100GbE NAS with RDMA / SMB Direct?

      Pretty much what the title says - I'm building out a smallish compute cluster and hoping to set up some centralised storage that won't be a bottleneck, but I'm very much not a networking...

      Pretty much what the title says - I'm building out a smallish compute cluster and hoping to set up some centralised storage that won't be a bottleneck, but I'm very much not a networking specialist. Most of the load will be random reads from compute nodes pulling in the bits of various datasets they need to work on.

      Is it plausible to throw a 100GbE ConnectX-5 card and 256GB RAM into a consumer AM5 machine, format everything in ZFS, and set up a network share with KSMBD? My understanding is that I want to ensure everything's using mirroring rather than worrying about RAIDZ parity if I'm optimising for speed, which is fine, and I know that I'll only get full throughput as far as things can be cached in RAM - but is it reasonable to expect ZFS ARC to do that caching for me? Dare I hope that the SMB driver will just work if I drop it in there between the filesystem and the NIC? Or have I crossed the line into enterprisey-enough requirements that it's going to be an uphill battle to get this working anywhere near line speed?

      15 votes
    20. HELP: Suddenly seeing a huge influx of ethernet devices on my network

      I noticed today that there are a large number of devices on my home network, all claiming to be ethernet connections. They kind of claimed all free IP addresses from x.x.x.63-253. They are not all...

      I noticed today that there are a large number of devices on my home network, all claiming to be ethernet connections. They kind of claimed all free IP addresses from x.x.x.63-253. They are not all on from what I have seen (and they are currently almost all off). Normally, my network should have only a handful of ethernet devices, which are my Fedora desktop, my Proxmox host, my OpenMediaVault VM on Proxmox machine running 24/7, and then the occassional VM I boot up as needed. I searched the occasional MAC address of one of these devices, and nothing came up. Does anyone know what the culprit of this would be or what I could use to diagnose it?

      Screenshot of some of the weird devices listed (I blacked out my known devices)

      Edit: It appears to be solved. I believe my OpenMediaVault VM was acting up/having issues and was gobbling up IP addresses. The issue has not occurred since restarting my Proxmox host.

      19 votes
    21. Need help with importing emails into macOS Mail from ProtonMail

      Hey there Tildes, hopefully someone could help me with this. I'm having problems importing all my emails I exported from ProtonMail into macOS Mail app/iCloud. Recently decided to move my custom...

      Hey there Tildes, hopefully someone could help me with this. I'm having problems importing all my emails I exported from ProtonMail into macOS Mail app/iCloud.

      Recently decided to move my custom domain email addresses to iCloud so I could just use the built-in Mail app on my Mac and iPhone. I backed up all of my emails with ProtonMail's own export tool. It exported every email (or maybe email thread?) as a .eml file and .json file (metadata I believe). After exporting, I switch the domain names over to iCloud. It was pretty easy. I guess I assumed all of my emails would somehow come with me? Seems silly thinking about it now. But I have a backup of all my emails!

      All seemed fine until I tried to import them into macOS Mail. Mail wants a mailbox format (.mbox I believe), but I only have .eml files. It let me select all of the .eml files and import them anyway but it's taking about 10 seconds or more per email and I have like ~17,000 emails. ChatGPT says thats 47 hours 13 minutes 20 seconds. It's also freezing the mail app during this insane import process. It would be great if I didn't have to wait that long and that's assuming something doesn't go wrong/the app crashes.

      No, I don't need all of those emails (I actually deleted about 10,000 over the past month) but now I'm kind of screwed. I guess for security reasons, when you delete the domain from ProtonMail, it deletes all the emails (as far as I can tell, at least). I'm mentioning this because I was thinking I could have tried to find a way to export it in .mbox format or even delete more emails but it's too late for that.

      The way the emails were exported, the filenames are jumbles of letters and numbers so I cant even use Finder to search for specific emails when I need them. I can open each individual email in Mail, so it's not like the files are encrypted, I don't think.

      One thing I thought of -- I once used Mail with ProtonBridge that would allow you to use ProtonMail with the Mail app, but still use Proton servers and it synced all my emails with my computer. I disabled that account some time ago (didn't delete it or remove it completely from the list of accounts, just unchecked it). Do you think that directory of emails is still on my computer somewhere? And would it be useable in my situation?

      I do realize this is completely of my own doing and should have been more thoughtful but I'm here now and would love any help y'all could give. Thanks everyone!


      Edit_1: Oh no... I found the directory for Mail in Application Support and it looks like the Mail importer is making a mailbox for every single email. I tried importing these emails earlier today and it looks like it might have imported everything? Here's a screenshot. 🪦

      I wonder if I could try and import them into another app and then export in a better format? Thunderbird? Ugh, I really do need a lot of these emails…

      Edit_2: So the export tool mentioned above has a restore feature so currently trying that. It will just import these emails back into ProtonMail and I’ll have to figure out the export part again. Hopefully this works!

      17 votes
    22. Android emulators to actually use mobile apps in day-to-day life?

      My understanding is that Android emulators primarily exist for mobile development and app testing and such-like, and maybe secondarily, to play mobile games. I want to explore the possibility of...

      My understanding is that Android emulators primarily exist for mobile development and app testing and such-like, and maybe secondarily, to play mobile games.

      I want to explore the possibility of using them as a, basically, full-time replacement for installing apps on my phone. More and more apps and services have no "desktop/laptop" version, and no website version. Installing the app on your phone is starting to become a non-negotiable requirement ... one that I'd like to find a work-around to.

      So, yeah ... I guess that's the question. Is this a 'thing'? Has anyone experimented with--or flat-out used--an emulator on a desktop/laptop to run their banking app and the like? Is this even possible? Can you connect an emulator to an app-store and just start downloading/installing stuff?

      Thanks.

      23 votes
    23. Rust protection spray services question

      Hey Tildes car folks, so Rust Protection like this one in Canada -- is it beneficial and or necessary for cars during in Canadian winter? I know we have a lot of salt on the roads, and just in the...

      Hey Tildes car folks, so Rust Protection like this one in Canada -- is it beneficial and or necessary for cars during in Canadian winter? I know we have a lot of salt on the roads, and just in the sea air as well. Talked to a tow truck driver and he always does his work and personal cars every year.

      So I took mine in too. But i wish I'd known that they don't wash the car beforehand. Like an idiot I just drove to the appointment and I got my car back and it's still covered in a layer of regular road dirt. Did I just waste $180?

      Bonus question: the other older car has a 5 x 10 mm rust spot on the side - would this kind of coating do anything about it or what do I do to fix it or not let it get worse?

      7 votes
    24. Refusing LinkedIn's ID verification is costing me my job

      A long, complicated story, summarized: (apart from Tildes, on which I lurk) I swore off all social media years ago. Then my job required that I have an account on LinkedIn. I reconsidered, and...

      A long, complicated story, summarized: (apart from Tildes, on which I lurk) I swore off all social media years ago. Then my job required that I have an account on LinkedIn. I reconsidered, and attempted to make the least disclosive account possible in an effort to protect my privacy. Things aren't going well. Despite logging in with the correct credentials, on the same device, using the same browser; and with access to my signup email, and access to the phone I used to enroll, LinkedIn has flagged my account the second time I tried using it and now requires me to upload images of myself and my government ID to regain access to their cesspool. Are you familiar with their protocols and can share insights, so that if I start again I don't face the same problem?

      I have read what LinkedIn says and I have read discussions on Reddit on the topic. LinkedIn says you can opt to "use your work email" or mail them an affidavit. These options were not given to me. Everyone else I have seen reporting facing this seems to have triggered the system by losing their login credentials or moving countries; what brought this upon me and can I avoid it?

      1. Is it that I use a VPN, and it may have routed through a different IP address on the second login?
      2. I use an email alias. Is LinkedIn purging accounts with email domains that offer aliases?
      3. Is it a result of clearing cookies?
      4. Is it easier to maintain a Google account (!) which LinkedIn allows as login without this ID thing coming up?

      Please be gentle with your advice as I am kind of panicking.

      54 votes
    25. Is it possible to easily finetune an LLM for free?

      so Google's AI Studio used to have an option to finetune gemini flash for free by simply uploading a csv file. but it seems they have removed that option, so I'm looking for something similar. I...

      so Google's AI Studio used to have an option to finetune gemini flash for free by simply uploading a csv file. but it seems they have removed that option, so I'm looking for something similar. I know models can be finetuned on colab but the problem with that is it's way too complicated for me, I want something simpler. I think I know enough python to be able to prepare a dataset so that shouldn't be a problem.

      21 votes
    26. Thinking about my next (career) move

      Here I am, late-30s languishing on a grey Sunday afternoon. After finishing my first real week-long vacation in 4ish years without even side-hussling, a thought is growing: I don't really want to...

      Here I am, late-30s languishing on a grey Sunday afternoon. After finishing my first real week-long vacation in 4ish years without even side-hussling, a thought is growing: I don't really want to go back, what's next?

      I've browsed topics discussing career changes/pivots when the OP has a desired endpoint, but I could use help brainstorming one step earlier: how to figure out what jobs/career move I might like, might be feasible/pragmatic for me, and even just exist?

      Meandering background
      if tl/dr, skip to questions below
      My current job (ux/comms) is objectively decent for pay, coworkers, work/life balance. So, not in a rush to jump ship. [Edit: removed some details about myself]

      Questions

      • Any overall life advice or thoughts on that 'something new' itch? Maybe I shouldn't equate it with my career alone?
      • Do you have general guidance/anecdotes on how to meaningfully explore job/career desires or options?
      • Do you know of niche job opportunities/fields that might tie into skills in various combinations of ux, communication, biology, environmental sciences, possibly healthcare? Or, how to find them? Especially in the Canadian job market context?

      Housekeeping: feel free to change group/tags if appropriate. This is also a lot more than I typically share online, I may remove some personal details later.

      32 votes
    27. How to get a backpack sold by Decathlon in EU to the US?

      I have been overly obsessing about getting a new backpack for the past week without any reasonable way to move forward. I came across this bag because I was searching for something that holds my...

      I have been overly obsessing about getting a new backpack for the past week without any reasonable way to move forward. I came across this bag because I was searching for something that holds my lunch box and laptop in a tinier volume. Here is what I found from Decathlon UK which not only fits my needs but looks stylish as well! Now, although I can work around with other backpacks for my use case, I really want to get my hands on this one.

      Although the same backpack is available in other countries like Ireland, Italy and other EU countries, I have been unable to obtain this on the US site. Writing to the customer care has not been helpful as they asked me to get it from a third-party forwarded from elsewhere.

      While I have acquaintances in EU, I wouldn't consider them close enough to have it shipped to the US as a gift (de minimis rule is going away by 29th August, so there will be extra tariffs!). I looked into it getting from a forwarding service and eat the cost, but it is stupid expensive and overall I am looking at about 80-100€. As a student, that is not viable either.

      I kinda grew too attached to the idea of using this for my everyday carry for college since I only carry a laptop, a notebook and a lunch box. And I love small backpacks. At this point, I am giving up on getting it :(

      Do you have any suggestions on how to get this backpack to the States?

      24 votes
    28. I had an idea for a Crusader Kings, but about rich families in Victoria-Modern Era. What could go wrong?

      I had an idea for a game some weeks ago, just as the title says. It would be something like Crusader Kings, it's all about dinasties and roleplay, but set in more modern eras, from the beginning...

      I had an idea for a game some weeks ago, just as the title says. It would be something like Crusader Kings, it's all about dinasties and roleplay, but set in more modern eras, from the beginning of the industrial revolution until today, or maybe the future, we'll see. And instead of kingdoms, it's all about businesses. It's all about owning global company empires. Being a kind hearted local chain owner, or a sociopathic cutthroat in the 1% that owns the world. Up to you.

      And this idea is still stuck with me, and I wanted to get back into game development, so I might as well just try it for fun and see what happens.

      I picked Godot, 1) because it's open source, 2) it's going to be fun to see how much it developed in the last decade and 3) it's free, and especially 4) I don't want to use commercial engines and risk being affected by something similar to the runtime fee fiasco

      I still have to finish some tutorials and make some simple games to get a grip on the engine and see how everything works, but as a data analyst I already have programming foundations and, I think, this project is monumental for someone like me, but I also think it's doable.

      I have a very rough idea of how the code will work for the AI. It will incorporate "ticks" like CK, each tick being a day, and some events fire weekly or monthly, where based on the stats and traits, each individual character will calculate how likely they are to accept or reject that event. This event can be about buying shares, accepting proposal marriages, going on a trip, etc.

      My main worry here is if GDScript is good enough to handle "intensive" algorithms. If not, I can always use C#, or C++ if I really have to, and adapt the problematic algorithms.

      Another is what would be the best database manager for this, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

      As for the world, initially I was thinking about being about the real one, but I realized that I may not want to deal with... Well, accuracies. For example, I don't want these businesses to exist in a vacuum, I'm going to try to make a system that interacts both the world's political events and these businesses. I want to create events, like, a country invades another, which creates demands for weapons, and if you own a weapon factory, good news for you! If you own businesses in the invaded country, well, sucks to be you.

      So, I want to do those kind of events, but without needing to worry about things like "Portugal would never invade Japan. What is your AI thinking!?" or "Why is Greece an industrial power house?". If a big studio like Paradox has trouble fine tuning their hundreds of nations in their games, me by my alonesome certainly will not be able to do it.

      So I'm thinking just making a fictional world, populated by several countries and empires but not as many as the real world. This way I can fine tune it to my liking and without worrying about being accurate with the real world. This is another challenge by itself, with its own cliffs, but it's more doable.

      And so far, that's it. After I'm done with the learning phase, I'm going to start a proper planning phase, lay down some key mechanics and develop a prototype.

      I wrote this post as a way to put my thoughts down, double check with myself if the idea is good.

      But also, to check with the tildes community if you have any inputs. It can be anything: ideas, suggestions, warnings, problems that you know that I'll face, etc. I'll appreciate anything that you can give me

      22 votes
    29. Letting younger children access Fortnite - Looking for opinions

      Not quite sure how to start this post, but I guess maybe a little bit of my own background could be useful? I'm 41, Father of two young kids (almost 8 and 5), been gaming my entire life. I have a...

      Not quite sure how to start this post, but I guess maybe a little bit of my own background could be useful?

      I'm 41, Father of two young kids (almost 8 and 5), been gaming my entire life. I have a PC games library that's well over 20+ years old and 1000 games deep (not to brag, just for context) that my kids mostly (curated for them) have access too. My first multiplayer game was at about 11-years old with the Quake demo in 1996, later got heavily in to MMO's (Everquest, DAOC, WoW, etc) and in the early 2010's, I was heavily in to World of Tanks/Warplanes.

      My oldest really wants to play Fortnite (which means the youngest will also play) and I'm a little torn on if I should allow that or not. They've played it a decent amount at their Uncles house and I'm well familiar with the game, though I've never played it or a Battle Royale style game myself and I don't really find anything objectionable about the content of the game itself, but I'm pretty reticent to put it on my own computers and make accounts for them to be able to play at home.

      I can't exactly put my finger on why that might be, but I'm currently attributing it to the FOMO mechanics with skins, as well as the generally addictive nature of online games themselves, given I've been addicted to them myself. My kids only have a limited amount of time to play games or watch TV on any given day anyway, so I'm not necessarily concerned that they'll play it all day, but I am worried about their mental health when it comes to it. They both already get frustrated with games (but in different ways) and I feel like that would be exacerbated when they have a bad match or when they're called away to do something (which is a primary reason I quit multiplayer games when I had children. It became too difficult to disengage from a "match" of something and I'd become very frustrated and angry.) Now, I'm not afraid to take away things if they become a problem (they have been banned from Youtube) and while there's some short term pain associated with that, they tend to get over it after awhile. Also, I do generally feel that it's more wholesome to engage with stuff like Subnautica, Minecraft and other games that they're currently playing.

      Anyway, I'm curious what other people's thoughts are on this subject. My wife proposed letting the older one have an account when they turn 8 here very soon, but I've told her about my reticence about it all, which she is understanding of. But I wanted to see if I'm being too anxious or paranoid about it and if Fortnite is actually fine for an 8 and 5 year old. I'm not generally one to wholesale ban things in the house and I'm open to all types of games and experiences, just not sure if it's totally appropriate yet.

      Side note: there is the side benefit that I might (probably not often) play with them, but that they also have the possibility of playing with their (much older) cousins and their Uncles. Though I'm not sure any of them are able to play during the times my kids have their screentime.

      25 votes
    30. I wanna raise crickets for the sound

      I have Tinnitus and I love the sound of crickets. Recordings are nice but they don't hit nearly as well. I have a hearing aid which is nice but real crickets are much better. They hit a whole...

      I have Tinnitus and I love the sound of crickets. Recordings are nice but they don't hit nearly as well. I have a hearing aid which is nice but real crickets are much better. They hit a whole bunch of frequencies that provide me with great relaxation.

      Has anyone here raised crickets? I do not intend to eat them. Just hear some real crickets every night when I go to sleep. Perhaps on a small box near my bed.

      I live in a house with some space I can use. I"m in Northeast Brazil (Salvador, Bahia).

      According to Wikipedia this is the kind of climate here

      Salvador has a trade-wind tropical rainforest climate (Köppen: Af). Temperatures are relatively consistent, showing little variance throughout the course of the year. Salvador's driest months of the year are December and January, when the city receives on average less than 10 cm (4 in) of precipitation. Salvador's wettest months are April, May and June, when at least 20 cm (8 in) of rain falls during each of these three months.

      Too crazy or actually possible?

      You tell me!

      30 votes
    31. Looking for advice on setting up computer case fans

      I've never actually put in more fans than what a case comes with, but I have an unraid server that is running hot so I got a pack of 5 fans to put in it. From what I understand, you want them set...

      I've never actually put in more fans than what a case comes with, but I have an unraid server that is running hot so I got a pack of 5 fans to put in it.

      From what I understand, you want them set up so that there is a solid airflow throughout the case; ie I'm planning to set it up so that the front and bottom fans are intake and the top and back fans are exhaust, so that cool air enters from the front/bottom and exits out the back/top.

      However, one of the fans will be going on the side door. I'm assuming this wants to be intake as well (so that the airflow goes through the entire case, as I assume it would disrupt the airflow as exhaust). Or would it be better to not have one on the side and just have an extra fan laying about?

      This is how I plan to set it up (shout out to MS Paint): https://ibb.co/KcXx5cgW

      Note: The X's are because the installed chassis block being able to put fans there; the bottom one is especially disappointing as it's the HDDs that are mostly getting hot

      Just wanted to confirm that that set up looks good and that intake for the side one (where the ? is) is the proper choice

      10 votes
    32. Thoughts on wallpaper?

      Since buying my house nearly two years ago, I have been working on various home improvement tasks. One of the first things I did when I moved in was to re-paint the walls in certain rooms because...

      Since buying my house nearly two years ago, I have been working on various home improvement tasks. One of the first things I did when I moved in was to re-paint the walls in certain rooms because of ugly paint jobs from the past or visible damage that required me to fix cracks or other imperfections. The problem is that I don't really have an eye for color matching or designs so every room that I have painted, is just white. I want to make my home feel more cozy during the Michigan winters so I am thinking of getting some high-quality wallpaper to put up as opposed to painting. Especially because I did a complete remodel of my attic living space, replacing wood paneling with drywall, and I am soon approaching the beautification of the space.

      So I am conflicted because it seems like there is many prevailing thoughts in the American design psyche:

      1. Fuck wallpaper - this seems to be due to the difficulty of removing wallpapers from 60s to 80s, where the designs were also not very good and quality bad. I removed wallpaper when I moved into my home, and it really wasn't that bad. I did it all in a day, but I can relate to hating the patterns that former owners put up.

      2. Accent wall only - put wallpaper just on a single wall in a room. Would still need to color match this to paint and kind of seems like the worst of both worlds. However, wallpaper can be expensive if you go the premium route so this could save money.

      My wife is European, and while the attitudes towards wallpaper in various parts of the continent can vary, she is also very pro-wallpaper. She is thinking of doing whole room wallpapering.

      So what are your thoughts, experiences, and opinions? If you have experience in America doing it, what vendors and advice do you have?

      19 votes
    33. Seeking advice for back-up internet connection at home

      Hello, Tildes Tech Support Team, I'm doing some Homelab stuff. And I'm looking for a way to set up an inexpensive back-up Internet connection. Less about having a connection when I'm home and...

      Hello, Tildes Tech Support Team,

      I'm doing some Homelab stuff. And I'm looking for a way to set up an inexpensive back-up Internet connection. Less about having a connection when I'm home and Internet goes out (Phone hotspot works in a pinch), but more about getting in and getting statuses of stuff when I'm not home and Internet drops.

      For background, I have a Ubiquiti Unifi Dream Machine Pro that can do WAN failover. My primary Internet connection is through Verizon Fios. The UDM and the Fios ONT are directly connected via ethernet; I'm not using Verizon's crappy home router. Also, I rarely lose Internet connectivity. This really is just a Homelab experiment to see if it can be done.

      I've seen some stuff about getting a cheap, refurb smartphone and a cheap MVNO plan like Google Fi that nets me a handful of GB a month, and then tethering the UDM to the phone somehow (maybe through some cheap router in bridge/passthrough mode like a GLinet travel router). Has anyone had any experience doing this?

      But...I actually have a secondary Internet connection already. My apartment complex has WiFi across the complex and for each unit. That I unfortunately have to pay for, even though I don't use it -- I want FULL control over my home network. But since I do have it, is there a way I can take advantage of this? I'm thinking something like a reverse AP, if that exists. But it has to pass through the IP from the apartment WiFi.

      I know there will likely be issues with double NATing. But depending on the services/things I'm trying to access or keep access to, that may not be a factor. Like my Unifi hardware talking with the Unifi cloud access stuff. I think double NAT shouldn't matter.

      Anyway, appreciate whatever you all got!

      15 votes
    34. Guilt and video games

      Hi! In the past (in my 20s and early 30s) I played a LOT of video games. I realized at some point it felt pretty damn close to addiction. At the very least it was a problem. I have since managed...

      Hi! In the past (in my 20s and early 30s) I played a LOT of video games. I realized at some point it felt pretty damn close to addiction. At the very least it was a problem. I have since managed to reduce and embrace moderation. I’m now entering my 40s. However, I can’t help feeling a certain sense of lingering guilt when I do play. It’s as though a voice inside my head tells me “you should be doing something else with your time.” My rational mind thinks that with moderation, some gaming is not that bad. It’s not conflicting with responsibilities, work, relationships. Helps my brain relax and I prefer it to something like TV which is far more passive. I play mainly rogue-like games. No online games, no loot boxes, no fictional currency. Think Dead Cells, Balatro, Hades, small(er) games. Wondering if others feel this way and what do you tell yourself or do to mitigate the guilty conscience? Am I just too strict or mean to myself?

      43 votes
    35. Designing a slide-out phone case with a keyboard

      For reference, I have next to zero knowledge of building electronics. I've replaced the joysticks on two Nintendo joycons (which I actually found pretty fun), and that's it. I also have no...

      For reference, I have next to zero knowledge of building electronics. I've replaced the joysticks on two Nintendo joycons (which I actually found pretty fun), and that's it. I also have no experience with 3D printing or designing specific products.

      I am also sick of touch screen keyboards on phones, do not like any of of the phones that do have keys or the Clicks phone case (why is it on the BOTTOM—), and currently have a lot of free time.

      So my question to you: how would I go about designing my own slide out case with its own keyboard?

      Because that is my ideal solution at this point. And in fact, it turns out someone DID make a 3D printed "slider terminal" this year. Except it's for the Note 10 (I have a Galaxy S9), and seems to be used as a full-fledged replacement for a desktop experience with a trackpad. That's neat and will probably appeal to a lot of people here, but personally, I just need physical keys.

      Along with the keyboard used for that terminal, I also found this other tiny keyboard which doesn't have the trackpad and is about the same dimensions as my Galaxy S9. Actually I found that first and was trying to figure out if there were any cases that could store and pop that out. The biggest issue is that it would cover my camera except maybe when it's slid out, but screw it, I want a damn physical keyboard.

      I do have access to 3D printers (yay public libraries!) and I'm willing to learn Blender in order to make this thing. I just need advice on where to begin and how to tackle this. In particular, I have no clue how to go about the slide out part. I feel like I should be able to figure out how to make a case that fits the dimensions of my phone and the keyboard fairly easily, but no idea where to begin with researching the sliding component.

      Besides that, I also know that I'm not alone here in my frustrations with phone keyboards, so I'm hoping we can pool together ideas on how to do this. As far as I can tell there's not really a "one size fits all" solution that would work for all phones (well, except perhaps a foldable case instead of slide-out), but maybe we can at least share decent starting points for people to design their own. For instance, the slider terminal uses a keyboard that came with a remote, and it would never have occurred to me that could be used for this sort of project. And there are a lot of potential workarounds for the camera placements, so Person A may have an idea that doesn't work well for them, but does work better for Person B than their own original idea.

      So yeah. Advice, ideas and general brainstorming are welcome!

      20 votes
    36. Helping trans and queer youth for the next 1253 days (ish)

      Refresher about me and my work: I work in higher ed as essentially a social worker for our on-campus students. Many of the students I support are trans, non-binary, and queer. They often come to...

      Refresher about me and my work: I work in higher ed as essentially a social worker for our on-campus students. Many of the students I support are trans, non-binary, and queer. They often come to me or are directed to me because I'm visibly queer, and use she/they pronouns. A recent survey* listed about 30% of our campus populations as queer (ace-inclusive, not mentioning gender identity), the same survey demonstrated nearly double the risk of suicide, mental health crisis, etc among our trans and gender non-conforming students. This survey was from before the 2024 election.


      My point with this post is asking y'all for any suggestions in supporting my trans youth in particular and queer youth in general during this time of increasing demonization and as the feds have started to pressure schools to remove protections for trans women specifically.**

      What things would you have wanted to hear from adults around you? What things helped you continue to feel safe with trusted adults? When the conversations keep getting tougher - talking about staying in or returning to the closet for safety or surviving that necessity when at home, or whatever fresh political hell hits next? When your roommate's mom compares her daughter living with you to sexual violence?

      I have a lot of experience with tough questions, and dealt some of these. I've talked about how you have to take care of yourself and water your plants or you have dead plants and fascism. But my experiences coming out in grad school and figuring out my demi-gender-ness much later aren't the same as these kids' life experiences. And I always want to make sure I'm doing better. What helped you? What would you have wanted to hear? What message would you want to pass to them?

      Feel free to DM if preferred for safety or privacy


      *I can't say how representative this was but between 4 and 5 percent of the population took the survey so unless that was particularly skewed in some way that should be a decent sample.
      ** There's a chance my speech will be restricted as an employee, we'll see, but that's an area I can fight more effectively.

      51 votes
    37. Feeling defeated, and the need to keep trying

      I'll preface by saying that if this is the wrong place for this, I'm sorry ahead of time. Additionally if I've tagged you and you disapprove, please let me know. Copious Backstory As I wrote in...

      I'll preface by saying that if this is the wrong place for this, I'm sorry ahead of time. Additionally if I've tagged you and you disapprove, please let me know.


      Copious Backstory

      As I wrote in the monthly mental health, I've been struggling with finding a job. I've spent the last 15 years in ECE (Early Childhood Education) at a private school. I've worked over the last decade first to finish my Associates degree with help from my boss, and then my bachelor's with help from the state (@DefinitelyNotAFae you may have heard of the ECACE program). I earned my educator license too late last year to search for a teaching job in public schools, so I spent the last year building up networks and references for the hunt this year. That all went well.

      Over the last 6 months I have interviewed (or attempted to interview, because it's difficult to take off work for all of this) at almost all of the schools in my county for the positions I'm certified for. I quickly got the feeling that finding a teaching job was much different this year than in previous years. I got turned down, every time.

      I wrote last week about how I had finally landed a job - an ideal one, checking off so many boxes. It was local, a 25% pay bump over other districts, an age range I'm familiar with, and more. I went on vacation this week ecstatic and celebrating. @Chocobean you may remember I tagged you about this update.

      Yesterday I spoke with the district HR executive. Due to budget cuts that came in Monday, my position was no longer available and the offer was rescinded. I feel robbed.

      I'm really trying not to let this ruin the rest of my family vacation, but it's hard. I feel defeated and dejected. I spent family time putting in more applications, again, to try and soothe my mind. I hate it. It does help feeling like I'm doing something about it, but it feels more like any opportunity I get can be dashed away before my very eyes without me being able to do anything at all.

      What I feel worst about is that the deadline for getting hired is fast approaching. What if I don't land a job? What if I'm still stuck working where I am? I love that place and my coworkers, but my heart is set on moving on to something different and new.

      I try to tell myself I can't see myself as a failure - I did succeed. I was mugged. There's nothing I could have done differently.

      I'm still empty handed though.


      So to the point of discussion... What helps you persevere in the face of adversity and hardship?

      35 votes
    38. How do you manage separate development environments on your computer?

      Hello Tildes! There's an open-source app I would like to work on and contribute code to, but it uses a toolchain that I'm not terribly familiar with (Deno), and I'm not a huge fan of letting tools...

      Hello Tildes!

      There's an open-source app I would like to work on and contribute code to, but it uses a toolchain that I'm not terribly familiar with (Deno), and I'm not a huge fan of letting tools like this have full access to my system and files.

      Do any of you use a system to containerize different development environments for software development? I could definitely use a standard Docker/Podman container to run the app, but I'm not aware of a good system where you can edit a program's source in an IDE, make changes, build the app, open a local port, and save your new code, all within a sandboxed environment.

      If anyone uses a system like this or something related, I would love to hear about it and share ideas.

      14 votes
    39. Help with ants in the shower!

      So after moving, my new bathroom has some issues. Most pressing of all: my shower has ants. It started with a couple, but it feels like it's gotten progressively worse. I researched this issue and...

      So after moving, my new bathroom has some issues. Most pressing of all: my shower has ants. It started with a couple, but it feels like it's gotten progressively worse.

      I researched this issue and have been spraying my shower with a vinegar/water mixture to kill and hopefully repel them, followed by my mom wiping them up to throw away because the scent of ant corpses will attract more ants. But so far, it hasn't really done anything but kept me from using that shower for a week because of the smell of vinegar.

      I sprayed the shower today, when it had possibly the most ants to date, and mom wiped them all up... And then a few hours later I checked and more ants showed up. Actually I just checked again and there are now like, at LEAST fifteen ants in there. At LEAST. So, the vinegar solution obviously isn't repelling them.

      We're at the end of our patience. Tomorrow we'll be sitting down to do some heavy-duty research together. The potential next step, based on the site where I got the vinegar solution, is to pour baking soda and vinegar into the drain to try to dislodge all the gunk, because I've washed ants down there and that can attract more ants. So, that might be why they won't freaking stay away.

      Relevant vent: why does every single site about killing ants include tons of photos of ants!? I'd closed the site I used and I tried to find it again to link here, but had to stop because the first two sites I checked were full of ant pictures. And I freaking hate bugs and can't stand even looking at photos of them. Or at least, not in this context. I don't want to see MORE ants congregating in strangers' showers, knowing they're in mine already make my skin crawl without having an image of what they might look like at this very moment!!

      So, yeah. Researching this has been very difficult for me, but I need those damn things out of my shower so we don't need to share my mom's. So, I'm open to any advice and solutions you all have!

      Some other relevant information:

      • Here's a photo of my bathroom and the shower. Warning: you might be able to see ants if you zoom in on the close-up of the shower, because they were mostly congregated in that area. Otherwise I would have gotten a better photo of the interior. I saw a lot of advice to touch up caulking, but with the type of shower this is, I'm not sure how relevant caulking really is? The shower is very smooth, almost like the rim of a bathtub.
      • There's a skylight above the shower, which was replaced before we moved in. At the very least, it doesn't leak with water when it rains. So help me, if that's somehow the source of the ants........
      • Related to above: there's no window I can open, and the room is quite small and narrow. So, humidity builds up FAST and I don't really have an effective way to vent it out or anything.
      • I've seen a couple in my sink. Key word: a couple. I think the most I've seen there at one time is two, while the shower can have upwards of... I don't even want to try to guess, honestly.
      • I've seen one or two ants crawling up the wall outside the shower, very low down around the moulding. So their nest may be outside the shower?
      • At this point the number has me half-convinced there's a nest somewhere in the bathroom. Or maybe there's an entrance on the top of the white shower walls/rim where it meets the drywall?? Except I've only ever seen one ant relatively high up one of those walls, they seem to stick near the floor... Either way, the number feels extreme to me given there shouldn't be any real points of entrance besides the door and skylight.
      • Given that articles love attaching revolting photos at multiple points, I'll just ask here if there's any chance they're climbing out of my shower head or the drain. One little fact that prematurely ended my first attempt to research solutions: apparently ants sometime come out of bath faucets. So, yeah.
      • At this point, killing ants is secondary to getting them OUT. We've dealt with ant infestations before, we know how to kill them. But that doesn't help when more of them will show up!! I don't want to deal with this problem forever, or even just seasonally!!l

      Please help, and thanks for taking time to read this!

      16 votes
    40. Looking for tips/advice for a hardware firewall/VPN for a small to medium size nonprofit

      Edit: Decided to go with the Ubiquiti Dream Machine Pro. Thank you for all the suggestions and advice! Hey Tildenauts, I'm planning to help a local nonprofit replace their aging hardware firewall...

      Edit: Decided to go with the Ubiquiti Dream Machine Pro. Thank you for all the suggestions and advice!

      Hey Tildenauts,

      I'm planning to help a local nonprofit replace their aging hardware firewall pro bono. I have a fair amount of experience with networking and security, especially where web servers are concerned, but I haven't setup a hardware firewall recently enough to know off the top of my head which are the best options here.

      The organization is fairly small but on its way to medium sized, around 30 employees at the moment but will likely expand to 50+ in coming years. So I'm looking for a solution that will comfortably scale up to 100 employees. There is remote work, accessing their local server via VPN, so something that comes bundled with a user friendly VPN client would be ideal. I haven't seen their physical setup yet but I know their server gets a lot of use. Not all employees use it remotely on a regular basis but many do.

      From past experience I know that Cisco, Sophos and SonicWall are potential options. Cisco seems to be pushing their Meraki platform pretty hard but I don't think this organization needs a subscription based solution.

      Anyone have recommendations for hardware firewalls I should consider? Any potential footguns I should know about?

      Thanks in advance!

      9 votes
    41. Accessing a Google account without attaching to the phone on Android

      Ok so I have a Google account for an organization. But when I have that account logged in on my phone some of the security restrictions impact all accounts on my phone. I have a pixel 7a with...

      Ok so I have a Google account for an organization. But when I have that account logged in on my phone some of the security restrictions impact all accounts on my phone. I have a pixel 7a with Android 16 if it matters.

      I would love to have access to this gmail account, with notifications, on my phone without forwarding the emails to one of my personal accounts. Any way to do that within the Gmail app itself, or if I need a different app, any recommendations?

      In my perfect world I'd have OneDrive access too, but I can use a browser window there if needed.

      13 votes
    42. People with paranoid delusions of being hacked keep asking me for help

      I'm a member of a hacker space. In the last few months two different people have came in desperate for help because they have a relentless hacker after them. In each case they are a completely...

      I'm a member of a hacker space. In the last few months two different people have came in desperate for help because they have a relentless hacker after them. In each case they are a completely mundane person who would have little reason to earn the focus of a dedicated expert in device infiltration. They claim that no matter what they do, what device they use (new phone, new laptop, hardened security OS, even their blueray players) it will get hacked as though they have an aura about them. When pressed for any kind of evidence they have none. The previous events they claim as evidence are always shaky. Often their claim is just that something didn't work right on their computer - thus it is hacked. It's never anything concrete like their bank account getting emptied.

      One is a middle-aged woman who thinks that her upstairs neighbor is seeking revenge after she put in a noise complaint. Another is a woman in her 20s who has no understanding of what initiated it. The older woman is at the point where she believes every TV has a camera in it that can get hacked to watch her. When we look up the model numbers and see they have no camera in the specs she waves it off - to her those were just exceptions. In both cases they've turned to technological solutions they don't understand in a blind hope for refuge. Secure DNS (like Cloudflare's 1.1.1.1), GrapheneOS, stateless Linux laptops, etc.

      I don't feel like these people are schizophrenic. We've had such people show up before and their delusions are on a different level. One guy thinks a well known actor stole his UFO designs and is trying to get him put in jail. These other people feel more like they're in self-imposed conspiracy theories, not unlike what happened to that ChatGPT user. At first I felt like this was a technological form of FDIS (to be clear I have no training in psychology). But there have been no attempts from either person to factitiously create devices that appear compromised. So I suppose this is more of a delusion, perhaps founded on a desire to be more important than they really are.

      Does anyone know more about this kind of situation? I don't think there's much I can do for them. But I'd love to understand more about this topic if anyone has seen stuff like this before or has formal training.

      46 votes
    43. Repairing an LG OLED TV and alternative courses of action

      My parents are about to get a new TV because theirs is faulty and they don't seem interested in repairing it. I'm going to be taking the faulty one from them and, because it's ridiculous that the...

      My parents are about to get a new TV because theirs is faulty and they don't seem interested in repairing it. I'm going to be taking the faulty one from them and, because it's ridiculous that the TV only worked normally for 3.5 years, am very tempted to try a repair. It's an LG CX OLED from 2021, here's a description of the issue:

      • When plugged into the mains, the standby light will come on and the TV can be powered on and used as normal. However, if too much time elapses after plugging-in without fully powering on (I don't actually know how long, somewhere between 5-10 minutes), the standby light will switch off and the TV will become unresponsive.
      • When the TV is in this "unresponsive" state, the only thing that will bring it back to life is to unplug it from the mains and wait a bit (again, somewhere between 5-10 minutes), then plug it back in and turn it on. This happens every time the TV is plugged in, with no variation.
      • The TV is fully functional when it's turned on, and there's no other issues with it at all.
      • If the TV is turned back off (back to standby mode), the clock starts again until it becomes unresponsive.

      So clearly there's some problem with standby mode. Some searching has indicated that other customers are frequently having this issue, and that replacing either the PSU or Motherboard of the TV will solve the issue. It's out of warranty, so I'm going to be spending money if I want to fix it. Replacement PSUs are about $250, and replacement Motherboards are about $350. I can only really afford one of these parts right now, so it's a gamble if I can't figure out a way to isolate the issue to one of the boards. I don't own a multimeter to test power, nor do I know anything about electronics, so I'm slightly fumbling around in the dark on this one.

      There's always the alternative of getting up and switching the power on and off every time, which is significantly more convenient for me than it is for my parents because of room size and outlet placement, but I'd like to be able to use the remote as intended (and, as I mentioned before, it's ridiculous that the thing is falling apart after only a few years, it's a very expensive TV!). I could also... find an IR controlled outlet or something? I don't know if that's a thing, but you know what I mean.

      I will end up using this TV regardless of whether or not I can get it fixed, because OLED is unbeatable, and it's not every day that my parents will replace something that isn't outright destroyed, but if you have electronics experience, or have had this problem (it seems like it's super common) any recommendations or help would be appreciated!

      Vaguely Related Tangent This TV is something like 2mm thick. Sure, there's a huge base for the electronics but it's mostly this super thin sheet. Who the hell asked for this? It makes the thing wobble and feel like it's gonna break at any second!
      15 votes
    44. Why won't the Wayback Machine archive my page?

      I have updated the Portuguese section of my blog with many posts that I scavenged from past blogs I've had since 2005. In order for everyone to be able to go through them chronologically, I gave...

      I have updated the Portuguese section of my blog with many posts that I scavenged from past blogs I've had since 2005. In order for everyone to be able to go through them chronologically, I gave them their original dates. In the end of each of these posts there is a link to the original publication, many of which came from the Internet Archive itself.

      One of my oldest blogs was removed from blogspot decades ago either by a hacker or something obscure about blogspot. So I had to use the archived version to reconstruct my history. I was very surprised to find it there because it was seemingly archived a decade after blogspot removed it. I have no idea what happened but I was so glad to find it!

      I have been trying to archive that page for days. The posts within that page are archived but not the page itself. The current August 2025 snapshot is not shown, and if I click on the link that they give me after the archiving process is done, I am directed to a snapshot I did back in May. I have no idea why this is happening, and the "help" section of Wayback Machine doesn't seem to have anyway for me to talk to someone.

      Can someone help?

      This is the page: https://daviramos.com/br/. It is also available at https://daviramos.bearblog.dev/br/, and yes, I tried archiving that one too.

      Thanks!

      9 votes
    45. How to educate a parent on the internet?

      Howdy fellow humans. So I need help finding ways to teach my technophobe mother how to not get caught out by scam websites and how to just generally navigate the internet like a tech savvy person....

      Howdy fellow humans. So I need help finding ways to teach my technophobe mother how to not get caught out by scam websites and how to just generally navigate the internet like a tech savvy person.

      Recently, she got caught out when applying for the Thai Digital Arrival Card. She paid $80 for the "service". She only realised afterwards that this should not be the case. This angered her and reinforced her thinking that she can't do these things online and will always say she doesn't know what she is doing etc etc. When I googled the thai DAC the first hit on google was the official site and I had to go out of my way to find the one that she got. As I mentioned before she is a technophobe but then won't take the time to learn how to properly navigate the internet or improve her media literacy skills at all. I am also sure that there may be some other more personal issues around her refusal to learn how to use tech but thats a problem for another day.

      Anyway so far Iv found 2 crash course series that would most likely help but if anyone else here has other resources for me to suggest to her id really appreciate it.

      21 votes
    46. How do you find the words?

      Some days ago, I posted in the monthly ~health.mental thread and it turned into such a long aimless ramble that I deleted it after a couple of hours. I was embarrassed how childishly whiny I came...

      Some days ago, I posted in the monthly ~health.mental thread and it turned into such a long aimless ramble that I deleted it after a couple of hours. I was embarrassed how childishly whiny I came off with that ranting/venting or whatever it was that went through my head at that time, in a vulnerable emotional state. When it gets even worse, during breakdowns, it even becomes that I'm fully incapable of speech which I even less know how to work on.

      But it's not just limited to these two states. During more "reasonable" moments, if I can call it that, I still have the sense that I don't know how to express myself. Sometimes I catch myself thinking it's a lack of education or because of not reading enough literature, so my vocabulary is poor. Because even when I use tools full-on graphs of words with emotions and variants and synonyms of those words etc. etc., it still seems like it's not enough.

      The best I can usually do is saying that I have a feeling of being overwhelmed, that it's all too much, feeling the feelings too much, extreme emotions, that I can't fit into my body. But I feel like it's still more than that.

      Anyone else deal with this too?

      18 votes
    47. How do I limit frame rate in Blue Prince? RTSS doesn't work.

      so first, a bit of context, I recently got lossless scaling and have been trying its frame generation in different games, it works fine but it's recommended to limit the framerate to half of your...

      so first, a bit of context, I recently got lossless scaling and have been trying its frame generation in different games, it works fine but it's recommended to limit the framerate to half of your refresh rate but I've tried using RTSS and it doesn't seem to work in Blue Prince at all, neither the OSD nor the framelimiter work. like nothing happens at all even though I added the .exe to Blue Prince and limited the framerate. also, as for the reason I want to use it in this game. the game works fine but if I keep playing and have drafted a lot of rooms, the frame rate gets lower and lower like it goes from 144 (my refresh rate) to 90ish so I thought I'd limit it to 72 fps and just use frame generation. I recall some people here play Blue Prince so I thought maybe someone could help.

      6 votes
    48. Advice on a study schedule for an exam

      I have a 14 chapter text book to go through. So far my plan is to read 1 chapter per weekend ( okay maybe two weekends ) and take solid notes on it. Weeknights I am usually used up from work and...

      I have a 14 chapter text book to go through.

      So far my plan is to read 1 chapter per weekend ( okay maybe two weekends ) and take solid notes on it.

      Weeknights I am usually used up from work and got life to live. My thinking is review what I have already covered then.

      My question is how to schedule the reviewing of old stuff so I don't lose it.

      Example: If I just finished chapter 10, when would I review chapters 2,3,4...etc?

      Anyone have experience with preparing for such a big exam?

      10 votes
    49. Tech keeps stealing my life, and I want tips on how to make it stop doing that

      ** Please do not tell me how to fix my issue below; this is an example, not a tech-support request ** I have a (LibreOffice) spreadsheet, personal tracking data. The other day, I got a new laptop...

      ** Please do not tell me how to fix my issue below; this is an example, not a tech-support request **


      I have a (LibreOffice) spreadsheet, personal tracking data. The other day, I got a new laptop (Framework), put a new OS (Debian trixie RC2) on it.

      Now, on the new machine, when I add a comment to a cell, the background color of the new comment is wrong/different from every other comment in the spreadsheet. When I add a comment to the same spreadsheet, opened on a different machine, the new comment still has the "correct"/standard background color, but any comments I added on the new machine continue to have the wrong color.

      This happened once or twice in the past couple of days, and I just manually "fixed" the color of each new comment, but this morning, I tried to figure out what the deal was, how to fix it properly/permanently.

      And just like that, my 3-minute daily edit of this spreadsheet turned into a 2-hour wild goose chase. I still haven't fixed it, I still don't know whether to blame LibreOffice, Debian, the new laptop, or some other variable I haven't even thought of. All I know is, someone has stolen 2 hours of my life from me, and I really want to know who that is.


      Bigger picture ...

      This happens all the time. Every day, often 3-4 times a day, it is a regular point of stress, of contention in my life, deciding whether to devote hours (sometimes days) of my life to strong-arming software into working the way it was supposed to work in the first place, or to try my best to accept that we just can't have nice things on our computers, and move on.

      This definitely predates the word "enshittification", but I don't think it really predates the concept. Stipulated -- software development is complicated, and software is used in so many different situations -- different hardware, different OSes, different libraries, different supporting/complementary software, versions, etc -- it is extremely hard to make software that "just works" for everyone, all the time.

      Nonetheless, I think the entire software development industry just collectively decided that is it okay to release stuff that doesn't work ... dating back to some point in the 20th century, long before Linux, before the Internet, before smartphones ... this issue--this philosophy--goes waaaay back, and there's just no fighting it at this point.

      But also, I do not want to live in a world where I have to surrender hours and days and years of my life, fighting with software that doesn't work, because "that's just how software is".

      So, that's my gripe. Is there any kind of viable middle ground here, that is less extreme than "cabin in the woods"? 'Cuz I am (yet again) seriously weighing that option this morning.

      33 votes