immaterial's recent activity

  1. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    I'd want to start with something dark and then maybe onto more colourful stuff. I do have several stash spots, and they're big enough that I'm not really worried. By the way to clarify, for that...

    I'd want to start with something dark and then maybe onto more colourful stuff.

    I do have several stash spots, and they're big enough that I'm not really worried.

    By the way to clarify, for that micellar water trick are you saying to dampen it beforehand and just keep it in there? Like would it remain moist the whole day 😅?

    Thanks!!! Going to do some shopping soon!

    (Also, i feel like this is getting kind of off topic from the original post... would it be more tildes-appropriate to DM or create a new topic?)

    1 vote

  2. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    Thanks for offering to help, I truly appreciate it. I know I really should make more queer friends, but oof, I find it pretty hard to make new friends. But I know ultimately i've got to step out...

    Thanks for offering to help, I truly appreciate it.

    I know I really should make more queer friends, but oof, I find it pretty hard to make new friends. But I know ultimately i've got to step out of my comfort zone and do it. Thanks

    2 votes

  3. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    Wow, thanks! I can probably google this but hey since you're willing, have any tips for eye shadow? Been wanting to get into it too, but it seems super difficult to hide.

    Wow, thanks! I can probably google this but hey since you're willing, have any tips for eye shadow? Been wanting to get into it too, but it seems super difficult to hide.

    4 votes

  4. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    I'm not sure if grad school might be for me, but I'll definitely think about it. Thanks.

    I'm not sure if grad school might be for me, but I'll definitely think about it. Thanks.

  5. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    Haha good idea but I'm not sure it'll work. I'm scared of the confrontation anyway.

    Haha good idea but I'm not sure it'll work. I'm scared of the confrontation anyway.

    1 vote

  6. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    Don't be sorry at all! Your comment really resonated with me. The things you say are things I relate to so much. Especially paranoia.

    Don't be sorry at all! Your comment really resonated with me. The things you say are things I relate to so much. Especially paranoia.

    3 votes

  7. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    Aww my god your last sentence broke me. Thank you so so much. The fact that you'd show that kindness to a random stranger online tells me you're an awesome person.

    Aww my god your last sentence broke me.

    Thank you so so much. The fact that you'd show that kindness to a random stranger online tells me you're an awesome person.

    5 votes

  8. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    I agree with a lot of your points, thank you. As for 6, I don't think my family is in a position to do that haha. Thanks for showing concern for my mental health. I generally think I'm quite a...

    I agree with a lot of your points, thank you. As for 6, I don't think my family is in a position to do that haha.

    Thanks for showing concern for my mental health. I generally think I'm quite a stoic guy (not in the toxic-male kind of sense), and that I can roll with the punches quite well. So I think I'm ok.

    Much appreciate your response.

    2 votes

  9. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    Well as sparksbet mentioned, I feel like I'd need to get my degree first. There are local LGBTQ+ communities, and I have attended some events. I don't really have queer friends, but there are...

    Well as sparksbet mentioned, I feel like I'd need to get my degree first. There are local LGBTQ+ communities, and I have attended some events. I don't really have queer friends, but there are queer people I know through work and the like.

    But, ultimately, I just don't feel accepted in this society. To get government-subsidised housing in this country, you need to be married, and same-sex marriage is not recognized. If not, you need to wait till you're 35 years old. That's just not an option.

    And wow, thank you so much for offering to help me. I could use some help, yes. I've been partial about Canada, because that's somewhere my family was thinking of moving to before that plan fell apart for other reasons. But the thought of actually moving terrifies me as well. I've lived in the same house my whole life. Moving to somewhere with no friends, family, or anyone I know seems daunting. I don't know how I'm actually going to do that.

    Thank you so much for your input and questions. It got me thinking of things I should be thinking about.

    4 votes

  10. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

  11. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    Thank you for this. Forming an exit plan should be something I really get on, I don't see a future with myself in this country anyway. The details are much appreciated. As for calling my parents...

    Thank you for this. Forming an exit plan should be something I really get on, I don't see a future with myself in this country anyway. The details are much appreciated.

    As for calling my parents abusers, I have very mixed feelings about that. I love my mum very much - she's an inspiration to me in many ways. I just believe that she has too much of an "Asian" mindset, something that's maybe too hard to un-learn. Man, I don't know.

    5 votes

  12. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    Hahaha this is great! I've known about press-ons but for some reason I didn't really consider them. I'll def look into this, thank you!

    Hahaha this is great! I've known about press-ons but for some reason I didn't really consider them. I'll def look into this, thank you!

    4 votes

  13. Comment on Balancing self-expression and parents in ~life

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    Absolutely. It's a conclusion I came to my own as well but I was just wondering if anyone else had experience navigating this and what did they do. Thanks for the reply!

    Absolutely. It's a conclusion I came to my own as well but I was just wondering if anyone else had experience navigating this and what did they do. Thanks for the reply!

    5 votes

  14. Balancing self-expression and parents

    ~life Ask (advice)
    Apologies if this comes off as rambly or even entitled. Also for the title, didn't quite know what to put there. So firstly some context. I live in an Asian country where it's normal AND expected...

    Apologies if this comes off as rambly or even entitled. Also for the title, didn't quite know what to put there.

    So firstly some context. I live in an Asian country where it's normal AND expected to live with your family past 20. Housing is expensive, and you're really only expected to move out once you're married. Also, I'm 21M.

    I really enjoy expressing myself with things more traditionally associated with femininity, like makeup, nail polish and fem clothing sometimes (side note, definitely don't think I'm trans).

    But as they say, god gives the gayest children to the most homophobic parents. My parents have told me multiple times that if I was gay I'd be kicked out of the house. My dad for some reason follows American politics (and by that I mean right wing grifters) despite having no link whatsoever to America. In fact, I think he'd be hatecrime'd if he went there. So yea I'm inclined to believe their homophobia.

    One incident in particular which made me genuinely angry was when I bought something pink and I was sat down and talked to like I commited some crime.

    Anyway, that's all just to say how do I keep up this balancing act? I do my nail polish then sneak out the door. Before I come back, I remove it somewhere quiet. I feel like a fugitive, and it's so damn exhausting. I want to express myself. But it's not the end of the world if I don't (I feel somewhat entitled that I'm even asking this when LGBTQ+ people in some places of the world are in actual danger).

    If I tell my parents, I don't think they would accept me. And worse, I might get kicked out - they'd probably think I'm gay.

    Being kicked out would be terrible. Renting is still prohibitively expensive for me, I'd have to get a full time job and effectively stop my studies. I don't think I'd be able to survive in this country like that, where it's expected for you to have a degree.

    Eventually I'd like to move to another country where I'd be more accepted, but that's years down the line and I don't even know where to start with that. Do I just keep my head down and just be satisfied with the status quo?

    Thanks for reading, any input would be appreciated.

    23 votes

  15. Comment on Kaatayra - Fogo! Na Babilônia (2019) in ~music

    immaterial
    Link
    It's the 5 year anniversary of this album! If you're a fan of black metal (and aren't constrained to the "trve" mindset) definitely check this out. Caio Lemos, the only person behind this project,...

    It's the 5 year anniversary of this album! If you're a fan of black metal (and aren't constrained to the "trve" mindset) definitely check this out.

    Caio Lemos, the only person behind this project, is a genius. He fuses brazilian folk with black metal effortlessly, and makes it sound damn good while doing so. His other projects are amazing too.

    3 votes

  17. Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    Thanks for the rec! Always happy to listen to something new! Personally not my cup of tea, but I can definitely see the appeal. I think what I really love about that FKA Twigs track is how...

    Thanks for the rec! Always happy to listen to something new!

    Personally not my cup of tea, but I can definitely see the appeal. I think what I really love about that FKA Twigs track is how experimental it is, and the electronic/club beat once the song picks up.

    1 vote

  18. Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music

    immaterial
    Link
    Every now and then I have phases were my "main" genre that I listen to (metal) takes a back seat and I listen to other genres. This week has been one of those phases. Maruja - The Vault has been...

    Every now and then I have phases were my "main" genre that I listen to (metal) takes a back seat and I listen to other genres. This week has been one of those phases.

    Maruja - The Vault has been an extremely rewarding listen - the first time I heard the ending of the first track, "Breaking Inertia", I instantly bought it. Insane that these are jam sessions recorded on a phone.

    FKA Twigs - Eusexua Wow, that video. Definitely watch it if you haven't, though I personally wouldn't watch it at work (slight nsfw). The track is amazing too - this was my introduction to her. Everything from that glitchy part to the lyrics and just her voice tickles my brain.

    Endlessness - Nala Sinephro Beautiful ambient jazz. Wonderful to study to, though I got distracted by some of the more beautiful parts initially haha

    2 votes

  19. Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    Have you tried listening to their debut? I think I enjoyed that one more, which says a lot haha.

    Have you tried listening to their debut? I think I enjoyed that one more, which says a lot haha.

  20. Comment on What is the best or recommended way to integrate my Windows 10 and Linux computers through the local network? in ~tech

    immaterial
    Link Parent
    100% agree with this! Set up a SMB share and CIFS mount it on your laptops. You can easily set it up on windows too. I have this setup on my NAS running TrueNAS, and once you set it up the ease is...

    100% agree with this! Set up a SMB share and CIFS mount it on your laptops. You can easily set it up on windows too.

    I have this setup on my NAS running TrueNAS, and once you set it up the ease is almost magical.

    1 vote