31 votes

My hair is thinning. Tips and tricks, please!

Every time I get a haircut, my barber hands me a small hand mirror so that I can bounce an image off the wall mirror and see the back of my head. My hair is noticeably thinner in the back each time.

I recently was at a function and saw pictures of me standing around, some of which included the back of my head. The thinning is clearly starting to stand out in a bad way.

I feel like I’ve got two options:

  1. Do something to try to save my hair (medication?).
  2. Shave my head and try to rock a bald look.

I’m open to tips, tricks, and guidance on either of these (or options I’m not aware of).

I’m not very attached to my hair, so this isn’t a super emotional thing for me. I’m also not scared of going bald since, as a gay guy, I’m well aware of how compelling a bald + beard look can be on some men (my beard isn’t thinning at all, thankfully).

There’s still a question of whether it would look good for me specifically though. Also I don’t know if I’m ready to give up on my hair just yet?

One advantage I do have is summers off (I’m a teacher), so I’m going to be able to do a bald test run in a few months without too much risk. If it turns out that I’m a complete disaster without hair, I’ll just stay home and let it grow back out.

Anyway, I’m open to any and all thoughts on balding, hair loss, hair loss prevention, etc. Tell me your own experiences and what decisions you made. Let me know the tricks of the trade.

49 comments

  1. [5]
    aphoenix
    Link
    Unsurprisingly, given our other similarities, I have gone through this same situation. My pate shows through. I've elected not to do much that was suggested - no rogaine and I did not shave my...
    • Exemplary

    Unsurprisingly, given our other similarities, I have gone through this same situation. My pate shows through. I've elected not to do much that was suggested - no rogaine and I did not shave my head - but I did adjust my haircut. I keep my hair quite short on the sides - I buzz it to a .5 or 1 - and then a bit longer on the top, fading back to a 1 where my pate shows through. I think it works for me, generally - here is a selfie from a couple of years ago and that's contrasted with one from a year or so earlier. You can see that I've gone much shorter hair, which downplays (or "doesn't accentuate") the bald spot.

    A while ago a friend of mine told me something along the lines of this, speaking about men in general:

    Y'all can be attractive and yes, even cute, and yes, even beautiful, and yes, even hot, and, trust me on this, you don't need perfectly chiseled abs and defined pecs to pull that off. Not even close.

    I think that's applicable for hair, and all other physical aspects of one's body. With that in mind I try to look at other guys who have similar hair / beard / features / build to me and then think "what do I think about how they look." I think a big part of it is about choosing a style that works for your face and hair, but in general, I think that you can pick a haircut that works with what you have, whether that's a fully shaved head, what I've described above, or otherwise.

    All that to say - if you pick medication, that's great. If you rock the bald look, that's great. If you go with a haircut like mine, that's great. There's not a singular "right" answer, other than to remember that you're beautiful while you're doing it.

    9 votes
    1. [4]
      kfwyre
      Link Parent
      Your friend sounds like a nice person! Thanks for passing along their kind words. 😉 Also, aphoenix, I am being 100% genuine when I say that you are SERVING in those photos, gurl. 🔥😂 Looking great,...

      Your friend sounds like a nice person! Thanks for passing along their kind words. 😉

      Also, aphoenix, I am being 100% genuine when I say that you are SERVING in those photos, gurl. 🔥😂 Looking great, my friend!

      6 votes
      1. [3]
        aphoenix
        Link Parent
        He is a great person - thoughtful, insightful, full of kindness, and beloved by many in these parts. Thank you! I'm entering my silver fox era. Ha, even the juxtaposition of those two selfies I...

        He is a great person - thoughtful, insightful, full of kindness, and beloved by many in these parts.

        Thank you! I'm entering my silver fox era. Ha, even the juxtaposition of those two selfies I can see way more grey in there. My hair used to be reddish brown! I think this suits me though.

        Hopefully the idea of the cut came through from the selfies - tighter to the scalp, still fairly stylish (I think), not fully shaved but still quite short, and not accentuating but working with the shortness.

        1 vote
        1. [2]
          kfwyre
          Link Parent
          More similarities for our pile: I'm also graying a bit, and we have similar hairstyles! And the descriptions of your cuts + the pictures were great. I keep mine pretty short like yours. My hair is...

          More similarities for our pile: I'm also graying a bit, and we have similar hairstyles!

          And the descriptions of your cuts + the pictures were great. I keep mine pretty short like yours. My hair is darker though (outside of the hints of gray), so the contrast between my hair and scalp is sharper. My barber actually recommended keeping my hair a little longer as a way of covering more of the scalp up and hopefully hiding the thinning.

          I also don't have nearly as glorious of a beard as you, though that might be my next goal. If I'm going to lose the hair on top of my head, I can at least get more on my face, right? I normally keep it pretty trimmed, but I grew out a legit beard beard during COVID that was kind of cool. I didn't do real maintenance and grooming on it though, since I wasn't exactly going anywhere. Plus, I legitimately enjoyed looking like a mountain man for a few months.

          2 votes
          1. aphoenix
            Link Parent
            In what I have observed, this goes one of two ways: a) it works! Your hair swirls in a particular way that the extra hair covers the pate and you're all set. This is how my dad's hair goes - he...

            My barber actually recommended keeping my hair a little longer as a way of covering more of the scalp up

            In what I have observed, this goes one of two ways:

            a) it works! Your hair swirls in a particular way that the extra hair covers the pate and you're all set. This is how my dad's hair goes - he keeps his hair longer, and it sweeps back and over his spot and it's not noticeable.

            b) it does the opposite. Your hair swirls outward from the pate and it it causes your hair to act as an arrow that points to your balding area. This is what mine does.

            I have a lot of stuff that I do with my beard - washing, trimming, shaping, balm, oil, moustache wax, etc - and it's mostly just a ritual of self care and pampering. I definitely recommend it for relaxation, but there's also an element of "I like myself and deserve something nice" to it as well, which I think is important. That's part of what I like about having the thicker beard. You can do it with a short beard as well, though.

            2 votes
  2. [6]
    tildesatwindmills
    Link
    Word of warning: minoxidil (Rogaine) is HIGHLY toxic to cats and one lick can kill them, even if it is just a lick of your pillow to see what that strange smell is. It is also toxic to dogs, but I...

    Word of warning: minoxidil (Rogaine) is HIGHLY toxic to cats and one lick can kill them, even if it is just a lick of your pillow to see what that strange smell is. It is also toxic to dogs, but I gather it has a slower process.

    https://www.allure.com/story/minoxidil-can-kill-cats-and-dogs

    Other than that, I have no data except to say that I wish your experiment well. I think a bald head (either shaved or clippered short) looks good on most men and clippered makes a very low maintenance and inexpensive lifestyle. :-)

    20 votes
    1. kfwyre
      Link Parent
      INCREDIBLY useful information. Thank you. I’ve got a small dog who I love more than life itself, and definitely more than my hair, so that makes minoxidil a complete non-starter for me.

      INCREDIBLY useful information. Thank you.

      I’ve got a small dog who I love more than life itself, and definitely more than my hair, so that makes minoxidil a complete non-starter for me.

      12 votes
    2. [4]
      Akir
      Link Parent
      Oh, it should also be mentioned that these medicines shouldn’t be handled by women. There are warnings that women should wash their hands if they handle it or get it on them.

      Oh, it should also be mentioned that these medicines shouldn’t be handled by women. There are warnings that women should wash their hands if they handle it or get it on them.

      8 votes
      1. [2]
        UniquelyGeneric
        Link Parent
        There are studies that show minoxidil can improve women’s hair as well, but it can easily go overboard (e.g. growing a unibrow or other unintended hair growth). The difference between men and...

        There are studies that show minoxidil can improve women’s hair as well, but it can easily go overboard (e.g. growing a unibrow or other unintended hair growth). The difference between men and women’s minoxidil is purely on the frequency of use (once a day for women, vs. twice a day for men). The concentration is the same (5%), yet the price is marked up for the women’s version (because of course it is).

        Don’t take my comment the same as truth, though, I’m just a random Internet stranger after all. Always good to familiarize yourself with available scientific research before undergoing any new medication. Unfortunately there’s a dearth of data for women’s hair loss/thinning, but that research is slowly growing over time.

        7 votes
        1. rogue_cricket
          Link Parent
          I'm a woman. Last year my mother pointed out that my hair looked like it was thinning and showed me a photograph she'd taken of me from above and I went into a full panic. My hair had always been...

          I'm a woman. Last year my mother pointed out that my hair looked like it was thinning and showed me a photograph she'd taken of me from above and I went into a full panic. My hair had always been one of my favourite physical features about myself and unfortunately I was so upset that I didn't approach things scientifically in the same way I would normally for any kind of product introduction, so I was applying topical minoxidil, microneedling, doing red-light therapy, using dilute peppermint and rosemary oil.. dear Lord, reading that back, what a mess I was.

          Anyway, something did something for sure because I did in fact end up growing the ghost of a little moustache! Among the myriad things I tried I really think it was the topical minoxidil that would have caused it but because of my terrible approach I can't be entirely sure. I have blonde hair, and less body hair than average, so I just kind of left it - it didn't stand out and wasn't really visible unless you were close enough to make my wife jealous. In fact, at the time I was glad to have some clear evidence that my body was producing more hair anywhere.

          The thinning is reversing some now that I'm becoming generally healthier from what turned out to be a pretty serious health complication. I don't use the minoxidil any more but I did end up keeping the red light and the rosemary oil as an occasional part of my self-care routine. Even if research is not great as you said, those are at least enjoyable and not likely to be harmful.

          7 votes
      2. sparksbet
        Link Parent
        I think you should follow the instructions and warnings on the safety sheet that comes with the medication, but fwiw this is not always the case. Sometimes these medications are even prescribed to...

        I think you should follow the instructions and warnings on the safety sheet that comes with the medication, but fwiw this is not always the case. Sometimes these medications are even prescribed to women (for instance, in addition to comments about women's minoxidil from other commenters, finasteride has been found to be an effective treatment for hirsutism in women). Ultimate the move should be to read the safety sheet and talk to your doctor about it beforehand.

        Obviously you should avoid anyone getting topical medication on them that they're not being treated with, but this is true of both men and women. Afaik the only big differentiator between men and women in this respect is the potential for pregnancy, as these medications can cause problems for the fetus.

        6 votes
  3. [3]
    Carrie
    Link
    Oh yes, cracks knuckles, now is my time to shine. I'm going to try to be as succinct as I can, while still being thorough, so bear with me. First and foremost, I would advise you get diagnosed by...
    • Exemplary

    Oh yes, cracks knuckles, now is my time to shine.

    I'm going to try to be as succinct as I can, while still being thorough, so bear with me.

    First and foremost, I would advise you get diagnosed by a dermatologist that specializes in hairloss, especially try to find one that deals with your specific demographic if you are part of an underrepresented group such as persons of color or women (underrepresented in the hair loss arena). This is important, because while the treatments are generally the same, they are not always, based on the cause of loss prevention.

    Next, treating hairloss falls into two general categories: preventing further hairloss/preservation and adding hair. And within the "adding hair" section, we further bifurcate into chemical vs physical.

    Let's start with preventing further hairloss.

    If your hairloss is caused by a hormonal reason(such as androgenic alopecia or male pattern baldness), there are two major medications on the market at the moment that target a specific enzymatic reaction that contributes to this type of hairloss. These medications, broadly, are called a-DHT inhibitors, and the two medications most commonly prescribed from this class are called finasteride and dutasteride. Both of them work by blocking conversion of testosterone into dihydrotestosterone, which is believed to be a contributing factor of MPB.

    The plus side of these medications is convenience (they are oral) and they work well to slow down MPB. Slowing down further hairloss is a big part of maintaining what you already have and continuing to wear your hair how you would like. However, they do not contribute in any meaningful way to re-growing hair. Thus, for someone who has already lost most or all of their hair, there is little value in pursuing further loss.

    One of the downsides of these medications is that since they are taken orally, they interact with your testosterone levels systemically, not just at the hair levels, and so some people experience side effects that they do not feel are worth the trouble of the hair loss gains. You can do your own research here, but be warned that some communities have completely vilified the use of finasteride or dutasteride because of the side effects which can include impotence or severe loss of libido/depression etc.

    It's hard to actively measure the efficacy of finasteride or dutasteride, because if they are working, you won't notice your hair thinning/falling out at the same rate that you would have if you had not taken the medication, if that makes sense. You have to continue taking these medications for the entire time that you would like to keep your hair, otherwise you go back to square one and the hairs become susceptible to loss and miniaturization. People generally prefer dutasteride as it is a dual blocker of DHT conversion. However, dutasteride was only semi recently allowed to be used for this purpose in the USA, so if you live there, YMMV if you can get it.

    Which brings us to our next treatment on the list: adding back hair.

    As I mentioned, we can add back hair chemically or physically. Chemically, the most well researched is minoxidil aka Rogaine. Minoxidil has been working for a long time, reliably, and with moderate annoying side effects, depending on how you decide to take it. Topical minoxidil comes in a foam and liquid format. While relatively easy to apply, people complain of greasiness or other stylistic/aesthetic issues, and you have to wait for it to dry(twice a day), and it is also toxic to cats and not recommended for anyone considering getting pregnant or that is pregnant. I should mention finasteride/dutasteride is also not recommended for people trying to get pregnant or who are pregnant, and that finasteride or dutasteride will prevent you from donating blood while you are on the medications.

    In recent years, oral minoxidil has been prescribed more frequently now, with comparable results to topical minoxidil. This cuts out much of the hassle of topical, if you go this route, I would recommend getting this prescribed vs topical. Minoxdil will grow hair back (to an extent), but it is also a "take for the rest of your life/however long you want to maintain hair" and it is an everyday thing, your results are heavily impacted by inconsistency. Once you stop taking it, the gains you made will fall out.

    Let's touch on physically adding hair back: there are hair transplants and hair pieces.

    Hair transplants take donor hair from an area that is not sensitive to DHT (the back or sides, for example) and transplants those to the area of hair loss. The idea is that these hairs are not sensitive to DHT, and thus they are not susceptible to loss or miniaturization when they are transplanted. Hair transplants are obviously expensive, but they are a consideration. You need to have enough donor hair to get a transplant. They are popular for medical tourism. Also note that most surgeons will recommend or require that you be on finasteride/dutasteride and minoxidil, even with the transplant.

    Hair pieces is kind of a can of worms, but essentially, in these models, you attach artificial or real human hair to your head using various adhesives. These can truly look wonderful, but also look terrible. However, recall that the toupee effect is called that for a reason, you only notice the ugly ones, the good ones blend in very well making them indistinguishable from natural hair to an untrained eye. These take a lot of effort and can be activity limiting (generally sweat and water are not compatible with them in the long term). They are very expensive, with the pieces themselves being in the hundreds of dollars (for entry level) going up to thousands of dollars. This does not include the maintenance or getting them "installed"(which is additionally in the hundreds of dollars because humans love to prey on people's insecurities). IMO these have a high rate of causing psychological issues because of the fear of being found out, and also they give the user a somewhat unrealistic expectation of long term hair care looks like. They are a very high maintenance option (think about when you go on vacation or travel, you have to bring a whole kit of touch up materials). That's just my opinion though, so do your own research to see if that's something you are interested in.

    Those are the main players in the field. With a small * for another chemical treatment, topical ketoconazole shampoo. I forget why this medication works, but it seems to work in synergy with a regimen of a-DHT blocker and minoxodil. If you spend enough time on hairloss communities, you will hear about the "big three" sooner or later. DHT blocker, minoxodil, ketoconazole. This cocktail can and should be prescribed by a dermatologist, so, as reference to the beginning of my post, I recommend you find one and get diagnosed. Additionally, while we talked a lot about MPB, there are other scenarios, such as telogen effluvium that cause hair loss (this can be due to intense stress), in which case, some of these treatments do not work, this is why a proper diagnosis is important.

    That was a lot of info, I hope it was informative. Feel free to ask me any other questions.

    I will leave you with this last piece of advice. Many people will have opinions or commentary about what you should do or how you look, both of which are none of their business. Ensure that whatever choice you make, you make it for yourself. If you want a hair piece because it makes you feel good about yourself, that is all that matters. People will opine about "just shave it and grow a beard", missing the point that some people like their hair for reasons that are not entirely obvious to you, and letting go of something you love is not that easy. If you don't like the side effects from taking a medication, but you're getting great results hair-wise, it's legitimate to decide the side effects aren't worth it and stop taking it. You sound like you understand some of the psychological risks already, so I hope you come to a conclusion that makes you happy. I wish you luck on your journey.

    ** Edit, forgot to talk about tattooing. This is actually an exciting area of an "in between" space IMO. If you can find a tattoo artist that specializes in dermatological tattooing of hair lines, they can dramatically increase the visual illusion of a more full hairline and help with density issues--mostly for people with shaved heads. I have not personally seen good results of people getting this that have also kept longer hair. YMMV,but worth considering.

    I also forgot to mention that the good thing about minoxidil and finasteride/dutasteride is that the side effects are, for the most part, reversible with cessation of the medications.

    13 votes
    1. kfwyre
      Link Parent
      Incredible post! Such a knowledgeable, thorough rundown. You did a great job at explaining everything. Also, the knowledge that I can’t donate blood on finasteride is super useful. My husband and...

      Incredible post! Such a knowledgeable, thorough rundown. You did a great job at explaining everything.

      Also, the knowledge that I can’t donate blood on finasteride is super useful. My husband and I only recently started donating blood, and I do regular platelet donations. I wouldn’t want to give those up at all. As gay men we waited a LONG time to be able to do this, so the idea of going back to where we were before feels like going backwards. I’d rather have no hair and give up my platelets than have hair and keep them.

      Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to share your expertise with us. I hope this comment helps out a lot more people than just me!

      4 votes
    2. tomf
      Link Parent
      that tattooing looks way better than I thought it would

      that tattooing looks way better than I thought it would

      2 votes
  4. [2]
    kacey
    Link
    If budget allows, you should go see a proper doctor and have this conversation with them. One of the suggestions already listed here (oral minoxidil) has some potentially significant side effects...

    If budget allows, you should go see a proper doctor and have this conversation with them. One of the suggestions already listed here (oral minoxidil) has some potentially significant side effects on your physical health. Further, your hair loss could be caused by a non-hormonal source, which they could identify better by speaking with you one on one, and to come up with a treatment plan that doesn’t involve drugs.

    If budget doesn’t allow, it could be helpful to ask chatGPT about differences and considerations between options, then to find an online hair loss clinic to book a free “appointment” with. These tend to be pretty heck bent on selling you medication, so it’s best to cross reference anything they say with your other dubious source (chatGPT).

    Last thing I’d note: you seem to have a very good attitude about this, which is great to hear. I got sucked into too many people telling me that “it’s natural”, or “god wills this”, “it happens to everybody” and etc. I doubt you need to hear this, but in case anyone else reading this thread does: it’s your body, and it’s your choice. No one else — in the entire world — has to regretfully look back at your face in the mirror every morning, and their opinions on it should be (imo) valued accordingly. You can always choose to shave your head later anyways.

    18 votes
    1. Akir
      Link Parent
      In the US oral minoxidil is available as a prescription only (as is finasteride), so a doctor is needed to get it. Other countries may have it classified differently though. I was actually...

      In the US oral minoxidil is available as a prescription only (as is finasteride), so a doctor is needed to get it. Other countries may have it classified differently though.

      I was actually surprised that with the online doctor they didn’t just rubber stamp my case and give me the prescription. It would not work well with my medication so they wouldn’t prescribe it to me. I’m using the topical form of minoxidil instead (after consulting with the doctor and getting their OK) - most well known as Rogaine, but you can save a bunch by getting generic brand. Unfortunately it’s not as effective as the oral version, but it is what it is.

      5 votes
  5. [3]
    Baeocystin
    Link
    Speaking as someone who is not bald, but does have thinner hair than I used to, just be careful of the sun. Really. Scalp burns are very painful. I would personally avoid finasteride. I tried it...

    Speaking as someone who is not bald, but does have thinner hair than I used to, just be careful of the sun. Really. Scalp burns are very painful.

    I would personally avoid finasteride. I tried it once, and it absolutely murdered my strength in the gym as well as my sex drive, and they took a while to come back. Didn't do anything for my hair, either.

    Minoxidil works, but in addition to the pet toxicity, it can really irritate your scalp. Just something to be aware of.

    13 votes
    1. Yupyeahokay
      Link Parent
      Yes, to scalp burns. I moved from Canada to Australia about nine years ago with a full head of hair, then starting thinning fairly quickly. I wasn't too attached to my hair (pun intended), so I...

      Yes, to scalp burns.

      I moved from Canada to Australia about nine years ago with a full head of hair, then starting thinning fairly quickly. I wasn't too attached to my hair (pun intended), so I shaved it well before living with a combover.

      Long story short, Australia has one of the highest levels of UV radiation in the world. The second day with a shaved head, I forgot that I was now bald and went for a bush walk without a hat. I have never had a worse sunburn in my life, nor experienced such pain before. I NEVER leave the house without a hat or sunscreen now.

      Heed my warning, prospective bald people.

      7 votes
    2. UniquelyGeneric
      Link Parent
      This is usually because the liquid version uses propylene glycol to aid in absorption. That chemical dries out your skin, which causes itchiness. The foam version doesn’t use the same ingredient,...

      Minoxidil works, but […] it can really irritate your scalp

      This is usually because the liquid version uses propylene glycol to aid in absorption. That chemical dries out your skin, which causes itchiness. The foam version doesn’t use the same ingredient, but it’s more difficult to get it to touch the scalp if you have longer hair.

      3 votes
  6. UniquelyGeneric
    Link
    Finasteride will stop hair loss and give you a baseline to work with. Minoxidil can grow and thicken hair, but it’s not a sustainable solution on its own without pairing it with finasteride to...

    Finasteride will stop hair loss and give you a baseline to work with.

    Minoxidil can grow and thicken hair, but it’s not a sustainable solution on its own without pairing it with finasteride to prevent continued hair loss.

    There’s various homeopathic treatments that are likely snake oil grifts exploiting the desperate, so watch out as you do research online. The only two FDA approved methods are the ones listed above. Nizoral shampoo has some clinical evidence of effectiveness, but is nothing compared to the other two medications.

    Ultimately, you’re going to be fighting against a relentless biological process so you will have to commit to a daily regimen (twice daily for minoxidil). Hair is also a reflection of your overall health and stress levels, which you already have to manage daily.

    I like the analogy to tending a garden. Finasteride gives you a good soil bed for roots to grow. Minoxidil is like a fertilizer. Exercise and a healthy diet are like sunshine and water. But as a gardener you need to develop a good routine to remain attentive to your garden’s needs.

    Even with all the effort, you may not be able to stave off the hair loss entirely, you may just slow it down. That being said, the effort is not so onerous that it’s not worth trying it out. You already brush your teeth daily (and “you only have to brush the teeth you want to keep!”), so adding a few more minutes to your existing routine may be worth keeping your hair around for years to come.

    If I were you, I’d find a dermatologist and get on finasteride asap to protect your baseline, and then you can see if it’s worth adding minoxidil to the routine. You will have to spend money, but there are ways to reduce costs. Stick to generic drugs, Kirkland brand liquid minoxidil (liquid is more effective and cheaper than foam), and you can use a pill cutter for finasteride since it’s cheaper in bulk.

    7 votes
  7. Dralan
    Link
    If you decide you want to keep your hair, low-dose minoxidil is a good option. Instead of applying medication to your scalp, this is a pill taken daily. It may cause existing hair on your body to...

    If you decide you want to keep your hair, low-dose minoxidil is a good option. Instead of applying medication to your scalp, this is a pill taken daily. It may cause existing hair on your body to darken and grow more, so be aware of that. This is one of those things where the sooner you decide the better your outcome will be. Good luck with whatever you decide!

    6 votes
  8. teaearlgraycold
    Link
    I don’t know if this is much of a trick, but minoxidil is popular for a reason. My dad started balding pretty early. I don’t have it as bad as he did, but it’s still annoying to lose hair in your...

    I don’t know if this is much of a trick, but minoxidil is popular for a reason. My dad started balding pretty early. I don’t have it as bad as he did, but it’s still annoying to lose hair in your 20s. So I started using minoxidil in July. I could tell it was working within 6 weeks. At this point it’s a noticeable improvement. I’m not even using it as intended (crown balding like what you’ve described) but it works surprisingly well.

    You can also explore finasteride, but that requires a prescription and can have some uncomfortable side effects for a minority of the population.

    Edit: I use generic 5% minoxidil directly on my scalp using a dropper. Targeted medication seems to be generally better.

    6 votes
  9. [5]
    nukeman
    Link
    Would you be willing to share a pic? Sometimes it’s a “I know it when I see it” as to whether one can style thinning hair. That said, I’m always a fan of owning the bald versus trying a bad combover.

    Would you be willing to share a pic? Sometimes it’s a “I know it when I see it” as to whether one can style thinning hair.

    That said, I’m always a fan of owning the bald versus trying a bad combover.

    6 votes
    1. [4]
      kfwyre
      Link Parent
      Not comfortable sharing snapshots of me, sorry. Instead, I can paint you a word picture! Front of head: hair hair hair hair hair hair Back of head: hair scalp hair scalp hair scalp

      Not comfortable sharing snapshots of me, sorry.

      Instead, I can paint you a word picture!

      Front of head: hair hair hair hair hair hair
      Back of head: hair scalp hair scalp hair scalp

      14 votes
      1. [2]
        nic
        Link Parent
        I just want to say, I am incredibly impressed at how well you are reacting to this, and I am sorry the back of your head is letting you down, hair wise. In addition to rocking the bald look,...

        I just want to say, I am incredibly impressed at how well you are reacting to this, and I am sorry the back of your head is letting you down, hair wise.

        In addition to rocking the bald look, topicals/ taking medication, hair transplants etc there are a ton of fantastic hats you could consider. I am particularly partial to the berry beret or the completely foldable Barmah Kangaroo Hat.

        What is your husbands position on the hair scalp hair scalp hair scalp situation?... He is the one who has to look at the back of your head the most. Have you discussed the various options you are considering with him? Is he a little too reticent to opine? You could ask him to guess which option he thinks you prefer. If you want to really shock him out of silence, tell him you are growing out a hillbilly cover-up mullet. Business in the front, deception in the back. In honor of Trump. :)

        3 votes
        1. kfwyre
          Link Parent
          Thanks! Based on the discussions here I’m pretty sure I’ll be headed in the bald direction. I’ve always known it’ll be in the cards for me eventually, so I’m not really stressed that it’s finally...

          Thanks! Based on the discussions here I’m pretty sure I’ll be headed in the bald direction. I’ve always known it’ll be in the cards for me eventually, so I’m not really stressed that it’s finally here.

          Once I’m closer to actually making the cut, I’ll probably make another ~life.style topic about hats specifically. I never really wear them, so that’s also uncharted territory for me and can definitely use some pointers.

          I’ve talked with my husband about it a few times and he’s good with whatever I decide (one of the things I love about him is that he’s easygoing and supportive), although there are certainly some limits. I would definitely hit some boundaries of his (not to mention my own) if I went with a Trump mullet ::shudder::

          3 votes
      2. nukeman
        Link Parent
        Gotcha. If you decide to forgo medication (or whatever Elon Musk did to get jus hair back. Still think that’s a very funny side-by-side pic), definitely break out the razor. Patchy/scalp balding...

        Gotcha. If you decide to forgo medication (or whatever Elon Musk did to get jus hair back. Still think that’s a very funny side-by-side pic), definitely break out the razor. Patchy/scalp balding is harder to “hide” versus the expanding forehead variety.

        1 vote
  10. Akir
    Link
    There are two prescriptions you can get for that. First is minoxidil, and the second is finasteride. I talked to a doctor and they recommended just going through an online doctor service to get...

    There are two prescriptions you can get for that. First is minoxidil, and the second is finasteride. I talked to a doctor and they recommended just going through an online doctor service to get the best deal since just seeing a dermatologist can be very expensive. I’m using Hims and it’s fairly affordable. If you are in good health they have a compounded medication which is all in one pill.

    6 votes
  11. [2]
    hungariantoast
    (edited )
    Link
    It sounds like you've never shaved your head before. I recommend everyone shave their head at least once in their life. I mean, why not? Live a little. It's only your head. It's not like anyone is...

    It sounds like you've never shaved your head before.

    I recommend everyone shave their head at least once in their life. I mean, why not? Live a little. It's only your head. It's not like anyone is going to see it.

    But yeah, if you're concerned about hair loss, talking to your doctor would probably be a good idea. If you're committed to slowing/preventing further hair loss, you'll also probably want to start treatment as soon as possible.

    However, when summer rolls around, I 100% recommend you shave your head if it won't interfere with your treatment. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't, but that's something to ask your doctor.

    Then, over the summer you can experiment with different styles of clothing and facial hair to complement your shaved head, and get a feel for what life would be like with no hair.

    Style recommendation: it's hard to go wrong with a white dress shirt, black slacks, and a bushy-as-fuck mustache. Throw in cowboy boots and a hat and goddamn partner, you're off to the rodeo. 🤠

    Also, your shaved head will be paler than the rest of you for a while. Just shaving your head over the summer probably won't be long enough for its color to equalize with the rest of you. People might poke fun at you over it. Don't let it bother you. They're just jealous of that ferret on your lip.

    5 votes
    1. kfwyre
      Link Parent
      I won’t have to worry about pale skin on my head because I already have ZERO color to my skin anyway (I’m practically translucent). Also I can’t rock a mustache because it’s been thoroughly...

      I won’t have to worry about pale skin on my head because I already have ZERO color to my skin anyway (I’m practically translucent).

      Also I can’t rock a mustache because it’s been thoroughly colonized by younger gays, so if I wear one it’ll make me look like I’m that old guy awkwardly trying to deny his true age and “fellow kids” his way into younger crowds.

      The hat and boots though? I can definitely pull those off. I didn’t grow up in the south for nothing. Yeehaw!

      3 votes
  12. [6]
    DefinitelyNotAFae
    (edited )
    Link
    You could also consider doing a St. Baldricks fundraiser and having an "excuse" to shave your head! Not a dude, so no beard, but as a queer woman-ish I love the bald feel. I shaved my head due to...

    You could also consider doing a St. Baldricks fundraiser and having an "excuse" to shave your head!

    Not a dude, so no beard, but as a queer woman-ish I love the bald feel. I shaved my head due to some thinning hair as well. If you do go that way, unless you love shaving manually, I'd suggest a good skull shaver or equivalent brand. I have a Pitbull and love it. And it's way easier to maintain.

    Depending on your hairline and comfort with it you won't necessarily have the luxury of being lazy about it and letting it grow back if you're uncomfortable with that look. So you may want to consider exactly how willing you are to commit to the daily cleanup. But a skull shaver does make that much more manageable.

    4 votes
    1. [3]
      kfwyre
      Link Parent
      Ooh, great idea! Love this! I’m super partial to bald looks on women and women-ish individuals. One of my personal queer heroes was a college professor I once had. She was an out lesbian (and...

      You could also consider doing a St. Baldricks fundraiser and having an "excuse" to shave your head!

      Ooh, great idea!

      Not a dude, so no beard, but as a queer woman-ish I love the bald feel.

      Love this! I’m super partial to bald looks on women and women-ish individuals. One of my personal queer heroes was a college professor I once had. She was an out lesbian (and possibly THE first openly queer person I’d ever met) and she was fully bald. Furthermore, this was in a time and place when both of those aspects of her were, you know, statements.

      Anyway, she was brilliant and badass and I didn’t know until I met her that women could even be bald outside of stuff like cancer treatment. I’ve always admired the look and the people who rock it ever since.

      Thanks for the pointers, Fae! The more I read, the more it sounds like going bald is the path I’ll be taking. I’ll probably be ordering a Pitbull soon.

      4 votes
      1. DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        Your professor sounds amazing! The biggest adjustments going bald are the Velcro effect when you have some stuble, for good or ill, your hoods will stay up and your hats stay on; being bare-headed...

        Your professor sounds amazing! The biggest adjustments going bald are the Velcro effect when you have some stuble, for good or ill, your hoods will stay up and your hats stay on; being bare-headed means not just needing a hat for cold, it's needing one for sun, or an equivalent amount of and diligence with sunscreen (besides the skin cancer risk, scalp sunburns suck); and getting used to your ears riding solo on the sides of your head. I guess the beard could help with that last part!

        3 votes
      2. CrazyProfessor02
        Link Parent
        I would recommend of getting a bottle of aftershave balm (don't get the regular aftershave), so that your scalp get used to going without hair. The Nivea aftershave balm is a good one because it...

        I would recommend of getting a bottle of aftershave balm (don't get the regular aftershave), so that your scalp get used to going without hair. The Nivea aftershave balm is a good one because it is a cheap product that does it's job. And after you get through a bottle, you don't really have to get another because by that time you scalp should be used to it being bald.

        2 votes
    2. [2]
      CrazyProfessor02
      Link Parent
      So how is the shave with a skull shaver? I am currently using a DE safety razor (after swapping from a cartridge razor) for my shaving needs and while I do love how close I can get, I don't love...

      So how is the shave with a skull shaver? I am currently using a DE safety razor (after swapping from a cartridge razor) for my shaving needs and while I do love how close I can get, I don't love the time investment that I need to get that way. And if I nick myself on my head with it, it is also not fun.

      1 vote
      1. DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        It's definitely not as smooth as an actual razor, but it's pretty close IMO, especially if you keep it knocked down, when it gets too long I have to use clippers first or it pulls more. It's...

        It's definitely not as smooth as an actual razor, but it's pretty close IMO, especially if you keep it knocked down, when it gets too long I have to use clippers first or it pulls more. It's really my first electric razor so I don't have a lot of other experience. I also have not cut myself and I have to do it mostly blind since my glasses are off.

        Sometimes when life is hard and I don't have the spoons and I have too much hair, I hit a Great Clips for a relatively cheap "clippers at 0" buzz all around haircut. Then I can follow up at home in a day or so. But I do also like the look of a buzz on me (and I think my thinning hair has improved since cutting it) so I can let it grow a bit more rather than shaving daily.

        Currently I have too much hair and payday isn't until Friday so I'm either going to use the home clippers tonight or go this weekend and pay someone.

        Oh I do have a small set of those nose hair type trimmers I use for behind the ears, my side burns (mix of fuzz and actual hair because idk I'm Italian and might have PCOS) and the like. Other than the behind the ears and the glasses divots the skull shaver does well for my head!

        1 vote
  13. Notcoffeetable
    Link
    I used Covid lockdown to switch to bald. It really was a good time to do it, it sounds like the summer is a good option for you as well. Depending on how fast your hair grows you could try some...

    I used Covid lockdown to switch to bald. It really was a good time to do it, it sounds like the summer is a good option for you as well. Depending on how fast your hair grows you could try some much shorter cuts first. For me getting back to a buzz cut length is only a matter of a week or so and my partner likes the intermediate "fuzzy" length. The ritual is also nice of shaving the fuzz off the night before work after a vacation or long weekend.

    • If you plan to save with a razor find a nice shaving cream that you like. I like Cremo which is pretty widely available around me.
    • If you live in a cold area make sure you have a good selection of knit caps. Keep one with you during the winter. Do not get in a situation without a good way to keep your head warm.
    • During the summers make liberal use of sunscreen and hats. The top of your head will burn up so fast especially in the early summer.
    • If you use a razor, shave at night so you have time to heal up before the morning.
    • Enjoy all the "nice haircut" comments from other bald men.
    4 votes
  14. lou
    Link
    Minoxidil is a bit of a craze in Brazil right now. Reportedly, it works often but not always. Most people seem to use it topically. A lot of people are using it to grow better beards, or a beard....

    Minoxidil is a bit of a craze in Brazil right now. Reportedly, it works often but not always. Most people seem to use it topically. A lot of people are using it to grow better beards, or a beard. I considered using it but the lifelong commitment is too much for me, and my need would be really minor. I would just like to see how I look with an actual beard. And yeah, you'll likely keep using it in some shape or form all your life.

    In any case, there's probably a doctor for that. Perhaps they can help.

    3 votes
  15. okiyama
    Link
    Surprised no mention of dutasteride. Been on it over a year with no noticeable side effects. It's basically finasteride 2.0 but not yet FDA approved for hair loss since it's newer. Script only but...

    Surprised no mention of dutasteride. Been on it over a year with no noticeable side effects. It's basically finasteride 2.0 but not yet FDA approved for hair loss since it's newer. Script only but very worth it for me.

    3 votes
  16. cloud_loud
    Link
    I wrote a post about this three years ago. I’ve continued the treatment and even began topical minoxidil two years ago. My hair has continued to get thicker and I made more progress on my...

    I wrote a post about this three years ago. I’ve continued the treatment and even began topical minoxidil two years ago. My hair has continued to get thicker and I made more progress on my hairline.

    I think it’s worth it, but unlike you I did have a mental breakdown when I realized I was balding although I started younger. I feel like it saved my life if I’m being honest.

    3 votes
  17. Rudism
    Link
    Can you grow a beard? Bald + beard = god tier (I'm biased). I started going thin on top in my mid-late 20s, started shaving it around when I turned 30 with no regrets. And by shave I don't mean...

    Can you grow a beard? Bald + beard = god tier (I'm biased).

    I started going thin on top in my mid-late 20s, started shaving it around when I turned 30 with no regrets. And by shave I don't mean actually shave with a razor, I just take the guard off my clippers, so it's not a clean shave but looks like maybe how it would in the evening or next morning if I did clean shave. Every two weeks or so I got a good amount of fuzz going on over my scalp so I do it again (plus give my beard a trim). Haven't been to a barber in over 15 years and have gotten a handful of compliments on my look in that time (more on average than when I had hair, but maybe they're pity complements, I don't really know or care).

    If you go that route, get some hats you like to protect yourself from the sun when you're outside.

    2 votes
  18. Autoxidation
    Link
    A couple of years ago the NYTimes ran a story about effective hair loss treatments. The gist is: most products don't work. Rogaine does work, but it works best when taken orally in a lose dose....

    A couple of years ago the NYTimes ran a story about effective hair loss treatments. The gist is: most products don't work. Rogaine does work, but it works best when taken orally in a lose dose. It's not approved by the FDA, as minoxidil is a generic and no company would pay for the safety studies of an oral form if there's no real profit to be made. If you ask around and get the right dermatologist, they will prescribe it off-label for you. Plus, it's cheap! I would recommend giving this path a try.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/18/health/minoxidil-hair-loss-pills.html?unlocked_article_code=1.tE4.Z2Je.AgntZ_x_MvfN&smid=url-share

    2 votes
  19. creesch
    Link
    My take is to just shave it and see if you like the look. As a bonus it also is cheaper as all other options because you can do it yourself so no money spend on haircuts, tonics, whatever.

    My take is to just shave it and see if you like the look. As a bonus it also is cheaper as all other options because you can do it yourself so no money spend on haircuts, tonics, whatever.

    1 vote
  20. ButteredToast
    Link
    I’ve been waiting for some sort of major medical advance in this field for a while now. My thinning started in high school and dramatically accelerated for a particularly stressful and...

    I’ve been waiting for some sort of major medical advance in this field for a while now. My thinning started in high school and dramatically accelerated for a particularly stressful and under-nourished period in my early-mid 20s, leaving me with a bare spot toward the middle-front of my head. Progression seems to slowed to a crawl since stress tapered off and nutrition improved and for now cutting my hair to lay a particular way still allows for a reasonably convincing illusion, but the clock is ticking.

    Minoxidil is definitely off the table being toxic to cats (thanks /u/tildesatwindmills!) and having been near-bald in the past (5-10mm shave) I’m not confident I can rock that look very well. My head is large relative to my frame which looks fine with hair, but pretty goofy bare and facial hair (which I have anyway) doesn’t improve the situation).

    Might ultimately do a transplant, but I’d really rather not get irreversible procedures performed unless it’s clear that nothing better will come about in the nearish future.

    1 vote
  21. bushbear
    Link
    I started shaving my head. It ain't so bad. Its a bit of an annoyance at best but I now rock it because why fight it.

    I started shaving my head. It ain't so bad. Its a bit of an annoyance at best but I now rock it because why fight it.

    1 vote
  22. streblo
    Link
    My hair is thinning on the top of my head. I chose option C which is just wear a hat when I go out unless I've recently got a haircut.

    My hair is thinning on the top of my head.

    I chose option C which is just wear a hat when I go out unless I've recently got a haircut.

    1 vote
  23. Onomanatee
    Link
    I used to have a luscious, thick head of hair. I looked like a hippy around the age of 18, hair down to my ass. It was great and I loved it. (Later in life I've discovered I'm a bit more of a...

    I used to have a luscious, thick head of hair. I looked like a hippy around the age of 18, hair down to my ass. It was great and I loved it. (Later in life I've discovered I'm a bit more of a feminine-oriented person and dislike being thought of as a manly man, so in hindsight that makes more sense)

    Then, around age 20, I started aggressively balding in the front. I fought it with rogaine for a year or two, but it was an uphill battle. It kinda of worked I guess, but frankly, it just made me more aware of my imminent balding. I obsessed over it, and having a bad hair day was a reason to lock myself up in my room. It wasn't great for my mental health or self esteem.

    At around 23, I. Decided to shave it all off. It felt incredibly vulnerable at first and not at all like me. I started growing a beard to even things out, and I'm still having that same look 12 years later.

    It's not... The best thing ever. If there was a magical pill to get my long hair back, sure. But it is what it is, and accepting that this is what my body just happens to look like and leaning into it a bit has made me more self confident and happy. I dress colourfully and occasionally wear jewelry to soften my bald/bearded look, which helps me feel like me. And that's enough for me.

    I'm not giving this as advice, because these choices and the way we deal with what nature has decided for us is a deeply personal matter. I hope you figure out what works best for you and that you find a way to feel comfortable with how you look. That, I think, is the bottom line of it all. Hair or not, your looks will definitely align with someone's tastes, and personality always matters more. As long as you can have some confidence and comfort in yourself, you'll be fine.

    1 vote
  24. [2]
    l_one
    Link
    Shave your head bald. Mirror finish / smooth bald. Take to wearing power suits. Well tailored. Become a Billionaire. Wear power armor over your power suit. Legally change your name to Lex Luthor....

    Shave your head bald. Mirror finish / smooth bald.

    Take to wearing power suits. Well tailored.

    Become a Billionaire.

    Wear power armor over your power suit.

    Legally change your name to Lex Luthor.

    ...

    So, I apologize as this was not a substantive response, but I do hope to give you a smile or a laugh.

    2 votes
    1. kfwyre
      Link Parent
      I smiled! I’ll get right on that billionaire thing. I should have it done by the end of the week at latest.

      I smiled! I’ll get right on that billionaire thing. I should have it done by the end of the week at latest.

      2 votes