rogue_cricket's recent activity
-
Comment on Kiki Rockwell - Cup Runneth Over (2023) in ~music
-
Kiki Rockwell - Cup Runneth Over (2023)
5 votes -
Comment on Semaglutide for weight loss in ~health
rogue_cricket (edited )Link ParentI take Wellbutrin for depression, and for seasonal affective disorder. Is that a shortcut to happiness? I'm sure I could devote my energy to other interventions but willpower is a resource. The...- Exemplary
I take Wellbutrin for depression, and for seasonal affective disorder. Is that a shortcut to happiness?
I'm sure I could devote my energy to other interventions but willpower is a resource. The reality of my brain and its stupid little chemicals makes many basic aspects of navigating through my own life eat up energy and willpower out of proportion to someone who might have more typical chemistry. If I devoted my energy to a complete lifestyle change WHILE my own neurology was working raw against me - something that anyone who has experienced depression will understand is nearly ridiculous unassisted anyway, but humour me - I'd have no energy left over for my JOB.
There have been a lot of strides made in the public acceptance of mental illnesses like depression and the attitude towards their medication in the last several years. People are dealt different cards and there's no shame in using treatments to give you a boost given we can't exactly restructure society to accommodate everyone's diverse experiences better overnight. The modern environment we exist in is complex besides, a recent development against millions of years of evolved biologies, and our environments affect our behaviours as well.
That is how I think about ozempic, food, weight loss. If a drug can change how people feel about food, how they experience cravings and hunger and satiation, does it not stand to reason that perhaps their experiences were atypical to begin with? That they don't lack willpower, but rather, they need to use more of it due to the increased real and physical intensity of their experiences of these things? And then, that suggesting a solution which involves spontaneously redirecting or manifesting the resource of willpower is not going to be universally applicable given the diversity of our experiences?
The prevailing attitude is still that it's a failure of character to be fat, and one must flog themselves back into shape to atone for it. It's really a shame. Honestly, I think a lot of people are on the drugs and keeping it a secret for that reason.
-
Comment on Semaglutide for weight loss in ~health
rogue_cricket (edited )LinkI am a relatively recently diagnosed diabetic. I use it for controlling my blood sugar and it's been seriously effective for that purpose. I think the slowed digestion causes those random surprise...- Exemplary
I am a relatively recently diagnosed diabetic. I use it for controlling my blood sugar and it's been seriously effective for that purpose. I think the slowed digestion causes those random surprise foods that might spike me to level out more over time.
I am also obese, and although since my mid-20s I had always been a bit overweight in a way I didn't necessarily mind, during the pandemic I really did gain a truly shocking amount of weight due to an equally shocking amount of stress. I suspect this is also when I developed diabetes without any major initial symptoms which allowed me the time to begin accumulating some very unfun nerve damage. This has begun to heal thanks in part to the semaglutide.
I have been on it for seven or eight weeks now. My highest weight was 240 in 2022, I slooowly lost 30lbs "on my own" (honestly only remotely possible because some environmental/stress level/mental health changes). Since being on ozempic I have lost another 25lbs, most of it in the first few weeks. It is very noticeable and my entire wardrobe will need replacing soon.
Early days were rough. I had nausea, fatigue, and bathroom issues for the first few weeks at 0.25 and I nearly quit it was so bad. I never vomited, but if I didn't work from home and have easy access to a private bathroom all the time it would have been, uh, challenging. My gag reflex also became so strong that I would have days of consuming only liquid meal replacements (and even then only at the insistence of my sweet and long suffering wife) because any solid food I put in my mouth would be make me heave and felt nearly impossible to swallow.
Now I'm up to 0.5, and the worst side effects have abated. My appetite is completely gone and I do not really experience hunger except towards the end of my dose or if I've messed up and forgotten to eat for an extremely extended period of time, because I'm also lucky enough to have ADHD (which I experience as extreme forgetfulness and occasional loss of body awareness when over/understimulated = forget to eat disorder). I am also on some other medications that could be contributing to this complete erasure of hunger, but I only experienced its full absence after the ozempic. It is extremely strange and while it's inconvenient in some ways I'm definitely no longer seeking food as a comfort in ways that I used to. I find eating boring now to the point of being mildly unpleasant.
Anyway. What I've gleaned online is that people respond to it very differently - I am a "super responder", lucky me, and I am therefore on a much slower ramp-up to a normal dose than usual. Some people don't really respond that much at all, and some people end up vomiting a lot. I think the important thing is to keep in contact with your doctor and monitor yourself.
It has really solidified my perspective on a lot of things wrt weight loss and weight gain.
My workplace has such an incredible drug plan I do not pay a cent for it but I would potentially pay a lot for it if I had to. I am very fortunate to access this treatment and not ashamed to be using it.
-
Comment on Love songs about established, long term relationships in ~music
rogue_cricket LinkI really like Glasses by Jonathan Colton for this, which is about accepting the aging of yourself and your partner. The chorus gets to me. I like the affirmation:...I really like Glasses by Jonathan Colton for this, which is about accepting the aging of yourself and your partner. The chorus gets to me. I like the affirmation:
Forget the grey, let it fall apart
It's okay
I like you in glasses -
Comment on What do you like about your job? in ~talk
rogue_cricket (edited )LinkAdding my voice here to the throng of programmers. My current job is great; I get to work in clean energy and do math all day (3d modelling software using Lidar). The flexibility of remote work is...Adding my voice here to the throng of programmers. My current job is great; I get to work in clean energy and do math all day (3d modelling software using Lidar). The flexibility of remote work is great (although my work has a stipend for office rental which I take advantage of), and the pay is extremely good especially for how low my COL is.
One thing I really enjoy is that every week, the team I'm on has an hour-long hangout online where we just shoot the shit about whatever. It's been really, really helpful for keeping me engaged and wanting to contribute instead of falling into my usual job cynicism.
As for pens, I'm a Zebra Sarasa Quick Dry gal. Ride or die.
-
Comment on Caroline Polachek: Tiny Desk Concert (2023) in ~music
rogue_cricket (edited )LinkThanks for sharing! I first learned about Caroline Polachek from her feature on the La vita nuova track on the EP of the same name by Christine and the Queens and have followed her loosely since....Thanks for sharing! I first learned about Caroline Polachek from her feature on the La vita nuova track on the EP of the same name by Christine and the Queens and have followed her loosely since. I think she's great.
Weirdly enough, my partner was familiar with this cover of So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings (worth a listen, IMO - has some variants that I think are pretty good) and only found out it was a cover a few weeks ago. We had been bingeing our favourite music videos and I mentioned that I liked Polachek offhandedly after watching La vita nuova together (link timestamped to the track in which she appears) and I was surprised she wasn't already familiar - when she listened to the original it became a fast favourite. One of the very few times my more-trendy wife learned about an artist from me, hah.
-
Comment on Chappell Roan - Red Wine Supernova (2023) in ~music
rogue_cricket LinkI have recently become absolutely obsessed with Chappell Roan. This is a 2023 release and although I think I prefer her other track, HOT TO GO! a bit more musically, I thought this video was the...I have recently become absolutely obsessed with Chappell Roan. This is a 2023 release and although I think I prefer her other track, HOT TO GO! a bit more musically, I thought this video was the more fun of the two: I'm a queer woman and the aesthetic sensibility of it is bang on to how I remember my time with my big gay found family back in my early/mid 20s. Not necessarily, you know, magic themed, but the over-the-top costuming, the playing, the glitter, the performance - I think of those days very fondly. :)
-
Chappell Roan - Red Wine Supernova (2023)
3 votes -
Comment on Polygon review: Palia is an early access utopia that relies on its regular patches in ~games
rogue_cricket LinkI was in one of the closed betas for Palia, and despite BG3 taking over my entire life I did pop into the open beta a couple times. While it's cute and cozy, and the devs seem responsive and...I was in one of the closed betas for Palia, and despite BG3 taking over my entire life I did pop into the open beta a couple times. While it's cute and cozy, and the devs seem responsive and active, I think overall I was disappointed by the lack of player interaction systems. My expectations may have been a bit off but it's one of those games I got the sense I was playing more "beside" people rather than "with" them.
I get it's probably hard to balance the issue while encouraging a particular type of player behaviour. Like, any time you have... an economy... it's gonna be competitive to some degree, for instance. But in preventing people from competing with each other, I also kind of felt prevented from meaningfully co-oporating with them, and for me that's the majority of the idea's appeal.
-
Comment on Eight in ten women married to men still take husband’s last name, survey finds in ~life.women
rogue_cricket Link ParentWell there's obviously more practical value in sharing a name with your spouse than with your sibling or parent (as an adult), but it is still a little zero-sum. :) I grew up with a different name...Well there's obviously more practical value in sharing a name with your spouse than with your sibling or parent (as an adult), but it is still a little zero-sum. :)
I grew up with a different name than my mother because she took her second husband's name. I don't think it was inconvenient but now I'm curious to ask. I think she was mostly annoyed that it was difficult to spell.
-
How do you get "back on track"? Could use advice.
I have a very long history of mental illness from age 10, and though I've cycled through a lot of explanations the diagnoses that best match my symptoms currently are currently ADHD and CPTSD. I...
I have a very long history of mental illness from age 10, and though I've cycled through a lot of explanations the diagnoses that best match my symptoms currently are currently ADHD and CPTSD. I am medicated for both, and although I am not in active therapy I have also done therapy. I consider my mental health relatively well-managed currently: at least, I am not in any urgent danger of hurting myself and it has been a very long time since I have been. Certainly things could be better but I'm usually functional.
But sometimes I go through these phases, generally 1-3 months long, where my ability to function on a normal level slips dramatically. It never gets to the nightmarish state I was in when I was a teenager, but it becomes hard to... oh, make appointments, do the dishes, walk the dog, just generally deal with the obligations of being an adult. My house is never in GREAT shape but it becomes a disaster. Work performance suffers a lot, my relationships suffer. I also start experiencing emotional PMS symptoms (or perhaps I just lose the ability to suppress them), and while I'm not the type to have "emotional outbursts" I do experience deep and irrational sadness or anger on those days. I also tend to end up dealing with insomnia, which is like a force multiplier on feeling overwhelmed.
It sucks especially because it's like I'm watching myself do it, and I feel as though I don't have enough control over myself to nip it in the bud, and sometimes the damage I do during these times is not fixable at all. It's almost like an unplaceable craving, like there's some thing I'm missing and my subconscious and my body are trying to send me signals, and I just can't interpret them right and figure out what I need.
How I generally get out of these phases is -- well, it's a bit chicken-egg, because the turmoil makes it difficult for me to reach out for help or even do anything to help myself, so to me it seems like sometimes the wave just passes. I'll say, "ok, this time I'll get my shit together", download some new app or whatever, organize my time or tasks via some new fascinating system, and that'll work... but it feels like it's only because I'm "ready" for it to work.
I think it's unlikely I'll find a solution that will work indefinitely to prevent these slips (hooray, novelty-obsessed brain). And anyway - as though it even needs to be said - I'm sulking in the midst of one now, so prevention or reduction tips might be helpful later, but for this moment I'm mostly concerned with getting out once I'm in.
If you have "swingy" mental health, or phases, or waves - what do YOU do about it, if anything? Therapy? Do you change your medication? Do you take a vacation? Commiserate on your favourite internet forums? What works for you?
45 votes -
Comment on Is understaffing a new norm? in ~life
rogue_cricket Link ParentI'm so sorry to hear it. While I'm not a health care worker myself, my mother is a nurse (non-ER) and I am legitimately concerned for her health at this point. Every year she seems to take on more...I'm so sorry to hear it. While I'm not a health care worker myself, my mother is a nurse (non-ER) and I am legitimately concerned for her health at this point. Every year she seems to take on more responsibility, more nurses and patients and tasks overall... she is retirement age and just can't seem to let go because of how critically low the staffing levels are and how many people would be left up the creek without her. Her knees are giving out from being constantly on her feet. She's arthritic in her hands and in pain.
It makes me so angry to think about the position she is in, put there because people without concern for human wellbeing take advantage of her for having it. The people who don't get care, their families, and the workers who are being asked to do the impossible are suffering in place of those who are actually ultimately culpable for the failure. Accountability without culpability is sick.
-
Comment on What is something someone has said that stuck with you? in ~life
rogue_cricket Link"It won't be the same, but it will be OK." My mother said this to me when I was eleven years old and she was separating from my father. When I am anxious about a change in my life, this is the..."It won't be the same, but it will be OK."
My mother said this to me when I was eleven years old and she was separating from my father. When I am anxious about a change in my life, this is the little mantra I use to focus less on worrying uselessly and focus more on creating a good outcome.
-
Comment on Is understaffing a new norm? in ~life
rogue_cricket (edited )Link ParentOh, from someone who now regularly deals with a slowly collapsing health care system, "just good enough" is generous - there is no bottom, even when you're dealing with literal life and death....Oh, from someone who now regularly deals with a slowly collapsing health care system, "just good enough" is generous - there is no bottom, even when you're dealing with literal life and death. Many people are absolutely fine with letting people die in an ER waiting room while frantic and exhausted nurses work double duty if it results in more money for them and their friends.
-
Comment on Starfield reviews in ~games
rogue_cricket Link ParentYes, exactly - it's a shame to me that the "solution" is often for players to cheat in infinite capacity, because it can arguably make the problem worse. More items to deal with, more time spent...Yes, exactly - it's a shame to me that the "solution" is often for players to cheat in infinite capacity, because it can arguably make the problem worse. More items to deal with, more time spent sorting through things, more time spent resenting the annoying item system even more.
I wonder if some of these poor systems come from the tension of wanting the game to be - well, a game - and also wanting it to be an immersive experience where emergent behaviour is possible. This is a bit particular to Larian and Bethesda, but... at some point someone made the decision to let me pick up rusty forks as part of my gameplay experience. It'd arguably be easier for them not to do that. I can think of pros and cons to it, but I wonder how much thought went into it really.
-
Comment on Starfield reviews in ~games
rogue_cricket Link ParentI feel like I'm in the minority of liking inventory / resource management as a gameplay mechanic - if you aren't supposed to have an infinite amount of space, then you have to make tactical...I feel like I'm in the minority of liking inventory / resource management as a gameplay mechanic - if you aren't supposed to have an infinite amount of space, then you have to make tactical decisions about the resources you bring with you. Carrying capacity also becomes something that can affect your choices about your equipment ("would I rather wear the Ring of Carrying or the Ring of Light") or your decisions about stats or build ("warriors don't have a lot of AOE options, but maybe I can use my extra carrying capacity to make up for it by bringing more grenades"). In some games where you have parties without a pooled inventory, deciding who carries what can also be an interesting choice to make, and in games that have a loop where you regularly return to some kind of hub, deciding what to bring back ("well, the Whatsit is worth more, but I need the Gizmo to craft the SuperGizmo..."). If you are punished by losing items when you die, WHEN to turn back becomes a decision about risk tolerance and that can also add some tension.
This is provided that the management is integrated into the rest of the game well. Bethesda does not integrate it into the game particularly well, although they're not unique in having a crappy inventory that feels kind of slapped on. The inventory is neither limited enough to make the choices you make feel particularly impactful nor expansive enough to get out of the way - it's this annoying third thing.
For Skyrim I tend to prefer limiting the inventory more rather than expanding it, but I think that's just because I enjoy the game more as an immersive sim than an action RPG. I think my ideal casual-rpg inventory system is an easily accessible "warehouse" of items and a more limited set of "active" items that locks in when something critical like combat occurs.
-
Comment on Meat eaters of Tildes - what have you tried to make use more ethical? in ~food
rogue_cricket (edited )Link ParentYeah, that's what I suspected from initial researching and I'm pretty sure that's what it was too, although I was a confounded because I couldn't think of any way my diet had changed around the...Yeah, that's what I suspected from initial researching and I'm pretty sure that's what it was too, although I was a confounded because I couldn't think of any way my diet had changed around the time it started. I was a good little vegetarian and I was supplementing B12 and iron regularly as well, so that made it seem less likely to me initially. I suppose I could have been "accumulating debt" for a while or something but I don't really know much about it - regardless, I was in a poor enough state that I wasn't comfortable taking more than the recommended dosage of B12 on the advice of Dr. Google alone.
Anyway, thank you for the info - glad to know sensation is likely to return as my B12 levels get back to normal. One of the first things I started doing was having canned sardines with breakfast regularly, it seems like that was a decent choice.
-
Comment on Meat eaters of Tildes - what have you tried to make use more ethical? in ~food
rogue_cricket (edited )Link ParentThe medical system is bad for reasons that are complicated and political. I live in Canada, in New Brunswick, which is a generally rural province and within Canada often places dead last in many...The medical system is bad for reasons that are complicated and political. I live in Canada, in New Brunswick, which is a generally rural province and within Canada often places dead last in many metrics relating to poverty, education, and employment. Doctors and nurses are not paid well here and they are overworked, union contracts go un-renewed for years. They don't have to go far to get a pretty significant pay bump so they leave. The way higher education for doctors works here is also a factor.
I want to be clear that I don't think bad service is an aspect of single-payer health care systems intrinsically and I support single-payer health care overall. Without getting too deep into it the current premier of my province is particularly awful on this matter to the point I suspect he's doing it on purpose - "starving the beast" on healthcare.
Anyway. It's not like things have completely collapsed, but I really hit a sweet spot of "serious, but not immediately life-threatening" that is particularly uncomfortable when it comes to getting care here. I put it off a bit too because often when I make an appointment, by the date of the appointment the issue is resolved anyway, so I'm in the habit of hardly bothering overall... I probably waited a bit too long to get started and it got worse faster the longer it went on.
I hope it gets sorted too, thank you. I'm not numb or anything but sensation is definitely still reduced in my feet especially, very apparent on longer walks. It has been improving though! And even if the blood panel is a bit too late, it'd still be good to confirm I'm currently on the right course. I believe I'm also getting tested for some other less-likely culprits as well just in case, it feels like they took kind of a lot, lol.
-
Comment on Meat eaters of Tildes - what have you tried to make use more ethical? in ~food
rogue_cricket (edited )LinkI was vegetarian for several years, but I started eating meat again about six months ago because I was experiencing a serious medical issue. (I kind of feel the need to talk about it a bit because...I was vegetarian for several years, but I started eating meat again about six months ago because I was experiencing a serious medical issue. (I kind of feel the need to talk about it a bit because until I experienced it first-hand I thought "having to eat meat for health" was a very bad excuse. It's also a tangent so I'll put it under a cut.)
Medical stuff
Early this year I started experiencing some muscle weakness and noticed I was getting tired more often than usual. I didn't suspect my diet at first because I had been eating vegetarian + supplementing successfully for years, so I thought I just needed more sun and exercise, but I continued to degrade over the course of the next couple months pretty steadily. At my worst, I could not get up out of low chairs or stand from a squat unassisted, and when people did help me, they were always surprised just how much force I needed them to contribute to get back to my feet... my legs and hips just had no power at all. I almost got to the point of being completely unable to climb stairs, I'd have to basically slowly drag myself up with the railing so my arms and core could make up for the weakness in my legs.
I made a doctor's appointment when I realized I wasn't getting better, but the medical care in my area is very poor and it takes months to see a doctor. I made the decision to switch to a more typical diet at that point to just try eliminating potential causes overall... I suspected it was some kind of deficiency, but I'm a layman with no data and I wasn't about to start futzing around with supplements blindly in case I made things worse. For all I knew I was overdosing! I was starting to lose sensation at this point, and was scared I was accumulating permanent nerve damage.
I started to notice improvement over time after the change, slowly but surely. One day I was squatting to deal with some TV cables, and I stood up without using my hands at all... I could've cried I was so relieved. I still have some lingering effects with lack of sensation but as of last month my strength is mostly back. It was extremely scary to get "trapped" on the floor, not to mention embarrassing.
I just had blood drawn TODAY to see if there's any clue what happened - that's how slow things move here - and I still need to be assessed for the extent of my nerve damage. I am not willing to try again unless I can get more reliable medical care, so I'm back to being omnivorous.
The main way I try to reduce my impact is by doing my best to not contribute to factory farming. I get a vast majority of my meat and eggs from a local farm via a seasonal membership, although it's quite expensive and I understand it's not an option for everyone. I still eat a lot of beans and lentils and tofu, with my favourite alt proteins being tempeh and TVP. When I go out to eat I always order vegetarian as well.
When I cook with meat not a single part gets thrown out or wasted if I can help it. I save all of my bones and scraps for broths and soups. I render fat and skin into lard or schmaltz and any other part that I can't or won't eat becomes dinner for the pets if it's safe for them to consume. If it's a shame that an animal dies for the meat, it's even more of a shame for any usable part to rot uselessly in a dump - the thought is horrible to me.
I have also stopped purchasing beef at all due it its particular outsize impact on the climate (and love for cows); I'm on the fence about pork as well. I'm in kind of a weird spot right now overall with the ethics of food, honestly.
Finally, I volunteer at a local nonprofit that focuses on sustainable, well-rounded communities, which of course involves food security and local farmers. While I'm not on any food-related committees directly, my role is to help raise money for the organization as a whole to support them. I mostly plan events, do some light IT, and write lots of letters. It's not super direct, but the money I raise goes into stuff like maintaining our community gardens. That can enable people to have access to low-impact, fresh produce without access to a yard.
This is from Kiki Rockwell (she/they), an alt artist I've recently stumbled upon. She has this sort of... semi-fantastic-historical aesthetic and worldbuilding in some of her recent videos that I have enjoyed a lot. I picked this one in particular to share because it's standalone, but my favourite is probably actually "Burn Your Village" - technically the second part of a two-parter.
Same Old Energy (Part I)
Burn Your Village (Part II)
I really like her dark, almost creepy sound. I think she makes some fun production choices.