Career mentorship: How does one find a mentor?
Have you had a fulfilling mentorship, whether as mentor or mentee? How does one gain a mentor? Are there professional associations that one pays a fee to join?
Advice on career development wanted. Especially advice for introverted, neurodivergent women in business.
optional rambling
Background : I'm not young anymore, and to be honest, I feel embarrassed to be doing front line starter level work when [*comparison to others redacted*]. I like the day to day work I'm doing, I love working remotely, and I'm not interested in climbing the corporate ladder or spending my time managing people. But I do feel somewhat taken advantaged of by Sales team pushing work onto me, when I'm in support team. Its very difficult for me to stop speaking with "probably / I think / I feel that" etc; I'm working on appearing and speaking with more confidence. I am always receiving feedback that I'm fun and caring of others and easy to work with, but when I ask for opportunities at work it's always "we'll see" --> ghost --> "no". The gist of it is that I don't feel like I'm taken seriously.I remember @lou mentioned that they were a writing mentor, but it took a lot of work and wasn't always rewarding. I understand that nobody wants a free-riding hanger on, of course. I do feel like I'd be willing to put in some work, but because we can't really know what we don't know, I don't know what I'm asking of a mentor. I don't have a clear goal? I joined a work committee recently but they're SO quiet no one is even saying hi, let alone feel like a community, or enabling more personal relationships.
I do realise it's entirely possible that I'm mediocre at "career" because I'm mediocre at "work", and i should keep getting better at work before expecting more. But I might also be held back by enduring values of "serve others quietly and take care of others while keeping your head down": my first professional job was so abusive but my parents got so mad/scared for me when I finally quit. Who do I think I am, asking for more?
I'm the go to person for a few types of things at work now, but I feel more like the laundry lady than "subject matter expert" that sales people like to introduce me as to clients. Sorry for the rambling.
I want to hear a variety of stories, of how you became good at "career", beyond becoming competent at "work", and how you learned to be good not only at what you do but how you go about doing what you do.
Thank you for your time.
I’m a woman in tech and Ive found mentors by taking jobs that are at the very tip of my skills, jobs that I’m not even sure I can do.
I have gotten very lucky that I was working in tech during the 2018-2022 boom. I took a job with an AI startup just out of sheer hubris, really, I was in way over my head with that one but I pulled 12 hour days and learned SO much from my coworkers there, who were happy to work with me.
I find I get to learn a lot from pretty much everyone around me, not just one specific mentor. I put a lot of effort into making sure that whoever is helping me has a good time while we’re working together. I try to make the job more fun for everyone around me, I take notes so I don’t have to ask the same thing twice, and I always try to pay it forward.
Good for you! That was a really great career stretch on your part and I can see that it's paying off big time :) thank you for your advice
I am an introverted, “socially challenged” female scientist. I’ve received amazing mentorship. Partly my field has a strong culture of mentorship. The things I’ve done to help myself mostly boil down to being openly mentorable. I ask questions, I actively avoid trying to appear like I know it all. I express enthusiastic interest in how people I admire do what they do and get where they are. I say my ideas and ask for feedback. I treat people more advanced than me with respect, but also as equals. I’m not resistant to learning from people more junior to me. I talk nice about everyone and I help everyone.
I would say that's socially very well advanced; I wish more people were like you, it would make the office a wonderful place to go to five days a week
Recognizing the good things about others all the time is something I'm trying to do more often
Advice I give every mentee I've had: everyone loves talking about themselves. When you reach out to a potential mentor, don't open asking that you want a mentor. Open that you want to learn about their career and what they like/dislike about it. Frame it as exploring your career options. 6/10 times you'll even get positive responses cold messaging on LinkedIn, higher if they are in your workplace or know someone you know.
From there, finding a mentor isn't about a checklist of traits. It's about vibe and interests. Your mentors should be people you click with who have gone through work you'd like to do or learn about.
If you ever want to chat more about this, feel free to DM me. I coach students and juniors on this stuff all the time, albeit not usually in tech directly.
Do people straight up ask for people to mentor them or is it something that happens organically? I probably will DM you, thank you in advance
Both! Definitely organically is more common but once you have an established relationship it can't hurt to ask.