roo1ster's recent activity

  1. Comment on I think I've failed the United States in ~talk

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    well said, thank you!

    well said, thank you!

  2. Comment on I think I've failed the United States in ~talk

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    I think you've helped me more succinctly understand part of what I'm trying to get at/to - thank you!!! My personal actions/inactions impact on the national stage are negligible, but my...

    I think you've helped me more succinctly understand part of what I'm trying to get at/to - thank you!!! My personal actions/inactions impact on the national stage are negligible, but my attitude/way of being around persons I know likely has a ripple effect, both good and bad. How many times have I been short/dismissive/condescending with extended family and high school friends on social media? I can do better at that level. Much better.

    5 votes

  3. I think I've failed the United States

    ~talk Text 472 words
    Assumption - wage stagnation, off shoring of well paying jobs, the opioid crisis and the skyrocketing cost of post high school education have rendered a significant portion of what used to be a...

    Assumption - wage stagnation, off shoring of well paying jobs, the opioid crisis and the skyrocketing cost of post high school education have rendered a significant portion of what used to be a highly privileged population into yet another incredibly vulnerable population.

    Then instead of even attempting to develop some empathy, I picked a side and vilified and shamed.

    I talked down to people on the internet, presuming to know what was best for them. Better health care and gun control would vastly improve the lives of all Americans, but lets be honest, is it really a coincidence that those two issues would especially benefit me directly?

    The most active thing I've done about the opioid crisis was watching Matthew Broderick on Netflix. My attitude around wage stagnation has been "Oof, glad I'm work in an economic sector that has done better than most!". My attitude around off shoring has been to a) enjoy the cheaper goods and services and b) huMANsplain to those more impacted than I that we need to think GLOBALLY!!!!

    I haven't taken any genuine opportunities to consider what people who are watching their loved ones and their communities die from substance abuse while struggling to feed their families and failing to ensure that their children do at least as well as they did might actually care about or how these crises might impact their attitudes and actions. Edit - that's a HUGE run on sentence. I'm at a loss to fix it this morning. :(

    From what little I think I know about empathy, people in general and people in crisis in particular want to feel like they're not crazy or bad and that someone is actually listening. They've already got plenty of self imposed shame. They already (on some level) know what they've been doing isn't working. They are not in a mental state to hear from sanctimonious me that they should be ashamed and they're doing it wrong. I don't think anyone has ever rubbed my nose in my own shit and gotten the outcome they were hoping for, why have I been rubbing other's noses in their shit fully expecting better outcomes?

    Now I fear a much larger percentage of the population has recently become vastly more vulnerable, and I fear I am much closer to joining that population myself.

    I'm sorry. I've contributed to what I perceive as an utter catastrophic mess. What I've been doing has been making it worse, faster... and I've been encouraging others to do the same, both in words and deeds.

    There's no quick fix visible to me, but I'm going to talk about it on line and try to listen with empathy if anyone is still willing to talk... (I fear I'm still a sanctimonious asshole, even in this post. I've got work to do. I want to be better)

    25 votes

  4. Comment on How the heck do you go about moving cross country? in ~life

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    TRUTH!!!! When I moved to Seattle I'd never seen snow accumulate for more than ~24 hours. 10 years later I was learning to snowboard*. 20 years later, all the local slopes were starting to have...

    TRUTH!!!! When I moved to Seattle I'd never seen snow accumulate for more than ~24 hours. 10 years later I was learning to snowboard*. 20 years later, all the local slopes were starting to have real issues with snow mass. 25 years later, they are utter shite. Joke's on the climate though - I got a hip replacement and high impact sports are now entirely off my menu (I never gotgud enough to avoid having a couple good spills every season, possibly influenced by how bad the snow conditions have gotten in the PNW).

    *turns out you CAN get some sun in January in WA if you're above the cloud cover!!!

    2 votes

  5. Comment on How the heck do you go about moving cross country? in ~life

    roo1ster
    Link
    I moved from small town in TX to Seattle during the dotcom boom 25ish years ago. I recently spent 3 months in the greater San Diego area, ultimately deciding to move there 'soon'. The nice part...

    I moved from small town in TX to Seattle during the dotcom boom 25ish years ago. I recently spent 3 months in the greater San Diego area, ultimately deciding to move there 'soon'.

    The nice part about a large city is that whatever culture or scene you'd like, it's there. And on the slight chance it isn't, there are a bazillion other cultures/scenes you've likely never considered and could very likely end up liking more. Think about what you were into 10 years ago. How much is you ten years from now going to appreciate that you're living in a city you chose b/c of its super active XYZ community?

    If you've already decided to move, I'd recommend spending a LOT of time pondering what you can/can't tolerate weather-wise. Seattle's 7+ months of 40s and rainy or SD's 10 months of sunny will have far more impact on your general happiness than the next 10 things you can think of to pick a long term destination by.

    After weather, I'd be asking "does this city have a healthy <sector of the economy I work in>" and "what will my commute look like? (decent mass transit? Can I afford a car here? Is it possible to live in walking distance of work?)".

    I can't think of anything else that won't sort itself out over time. Hopefully others will chime in with stuff that won't that I didn't think of... :)

    6 votes

  6. Comment on What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis? in ~health.mental

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    sounds very familiar - my best streaks in school were when I was too busy to even think about if I was going to do the 'next' thing, just mindless "what's next. do it."

    sounds very familiar - my best streaks in school were when I was too busy to even think about if I was going to do the 'next' thing, just mindless "what's next. do it."

    1 vote

  7. Comment on What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis? in ~health.mental

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    10/10 on positive qualities I possess as a result of my (might be ADHD). I am amazing dealing with crises - so much practice over the years from not taking any action unless its a crisis (and thus...

    10/10 on positive qualities I possess as a result of my (might be ADHD). I am amazing dealing with crises - so much practice over the years from not taking any action unless its a crisis (and thus manufacturing crisis after crisis after crisis).

  8. Comment on What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis? in ~health.mental

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    Oh my god a book I can buy on the topic? SOLD. (if I get diagnosed and the meds work, I might be able to read it, along with a long list of other books I bought and never quite got around to...

    Oh my god a book I can buy on the topic? SOLD. (if I get diagnosed and the meds work, I might be able to read it, along with a long list of other books I bought and never quite got around to reading).

    seriously though, thank you so much for the reco, book has been purchased.

  9. Comment on What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis? in ~health.mental

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    Thanks so much! After I submitted this post, I mentioned to my wife that I was exploring the possibility of an adhd diagnosis. She got super excited and jumped on the internet and found an adhd...

    Thanks so much! After I submitted this post, I mentioned to my wife that I was exploring the possibility of an adhd diagnosis. She got super excited and jumped on the internet and found an adhd clinic that starts the diagnosis w/2 brain scans and extensive bloodwork (followed by a couple inventories and an in person with a psychiatrist). 1st scan is on Monday. 1st meeting with psychiatrist is in early December. Even if its not ADHD I'm hoping they'll be able to point me in the right direction...

    3 votes

  10. Comment on What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis? in ~health.mental

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    Thank you so much! The prospect of my anxiety, which is pretty much the only effective motivating force in my life dropping to a 3... I might go have a good cry just imagining it. Scratch that - I...

    Thank you so much! The prospect of my anxiety, which is pretty much the only effective motivating force in my life dropping to a 3... I might go have a good cry just imagining it. Scratch that - I have no concept of what that might feel like.

    I grew up in the US, but my parents didn't/don't believe ADHD is a real diagnosis (cousin was diagnosed in the early 80s and my parents rarely missed an opportunity to make a snide remark about it).

    I've got an appointment to start what will be a month long process to initial diagnosis on Monday.

    2 votes

  11. Comment on What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis? in ~health.mental

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    Thank you so much! I've made an appointment with an adhd clinic that will do a couple brain scans and a bunch of bloodwork as part of the diagnosis process. Reading through all these lovely...

    Thank you so much! I've made an appointment with an adhd clinic that will do a couple brain scans and a bunch of bloodwork as part of the diagnosis process. Reading through all these lovely comments I'm admittedly bullish on ADHD, but I honestly don't care if it's adhd or something else entirely, I just want to get some traction...

    2 votes

  12. Comment on What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis? in ~health.mental

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    Thank you so much. I'm excited about whatever I'm dealing with possibly being adhd, but I'm really just interested in getting some traction regardless of any labels/diagnosis. I'm optimistic about...

    Thank you so much. I'm excited about whatever I'm dealing with possibly being adhd, but I'm really just interested in getting some traction regardless of any labels/diagnosis. I'm optimistic about the clinic I booked with yesterday late - diagnosis is based on brain scans, bloodwork and several appointments w/a psychiatrist. If its not ADHD, fingers crossed they'll at least be able to point me in another more likely direction.

    2 votes

  13. Comment on What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis? in ~health.mental

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    Thank you so much. I'm book marking your post for when I get to the 'dialing in the medication' phase. I'm randomly ahead of the game on a few of those bullet points, mostly because my wife is...

    Thank you so much. I'm book marking your post for when I get to the 'dialing in the medication' phase. I'm randomly ahead of the game on a few of those bullet points, mostly because my wife is super into health/nutrition/supplements.

    You could chart my life by a boom/bust cycle where I boom shortly after I've successfully re-engaged w/a daily vigorous exercise regimen, and then re-engaged with other good habits once the exercise started paying dividends. Those booms always ended some period of days/weeks after the exercise stopped (as often as not because of physical injury from the exercise). Busts last until some external factor raises my anxiety high enough that it feels like my options are 'take action or die'. I'm hoping that experience with rebuilding my life repeatedly over the years will carry over to being productive once the meds kick in, and the bust side of the cycle will shrink, but I'll start preparing myself for the meds not being a total panacea.

    1 vote

  14. Comment on What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis? in ~health.mental

    roo1ster
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    I had to do a double take - felt like I could have written several portions of your post pretty much verbatim. "Struggling to stay above water all day, just to exist" - fuuuuuuuuuuuuu... At any...

    I had to do a double take - felt like I could have written several portions of your post pretty much verbatim. "Struggling to stay above water all day, just to exist" - fuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

    At any given moment I can rattle off lists of things I'd really should be taking action on, but just cannot until the repercussions have become so dire my options are 'take action or be homeless/jobless'. I work in tech, mostly startups (need the excitement to stay engaged), and over 2+ decades every time I've found myself jobless (aka ignored any and all warning signs while there was still time to take reasonable/easy action) there's been an employment gap that didn't end until I was completely out of $$.

    My ?proudest? college moment was a logic circuits course where the course grade was based entirely on how many labs you successfully completed (20 total). Lectures were optional. I skipped 90% of the lectures and somehow managed to complete 4 of the labs over the course of the semester. Then late in the afternoon the day before the deadline to finish your labs (8a the next day) I walked into the lab, still having engaged with almost none of the course material and did the other 16 labs, finishing around 5 or 6 in the morning. One of my very few A's at the collegiate level.

    It took me 13 years to get my undergrad degree and even that was more luck than intention with a healthy dose of shame driving the result (There are 11 cousins in my generation of my family. All 11 have college degrees, 7 have STEM PhD's. My bs in cs was the last undergrad degree in my generation by a fair bit and I'm 9 years older than the youngest cousin). Since then (20 years), I've started 10s of certifications. I've yet to complete a single one.

    good times...

    2 votes

  15. Comment on What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis? in ~health.mental

    roo1ster
    Link
    follow on question - what has been your experience post diagnosis? What might I expect post diagnosis?

    follow on question - what has been your experience post diagnosis? What might I expect post diagnosis?

    7 votes

  16. What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis?

    ~health.mental Ask (advice)
    Every time I find myself in an ADHD related thread on the internets, I feel like I'm seeing my personal struggles being described by others (Anxiety, Depression, executive function issues... the...

    Every time I find myself in an ADHD related thread on the internets, I feel like I'm seeing my personal struggles being described by others (Anxiety, Depression, executive function issues... the list goes on).

    My intermittent attempts to seek out a diagnosis (or rule it out) end quickly with all the utter shite noise in the search results (literally everyone is selling something).

    I'm hoping some of you who've been down this road can shed some light. Should I just schedule and appointment with my GP and start a conversation or???

    Thanks (hope I got this in the right sub-tilde)

    UPDATE: Thank you all so much! I ended up setting an appointment with a nearby adhd clinic that does 2 brain scans, a bunch of bloodwork, several questionnaires, and a couple meetings with a psychiatrist/psychologist (can never remember which is which). 1st scan is on Monday morning, 1st meeting with psych* is in early December. Feeling optimistic.

    Reading through all your comments, I feel connected and optimistic in a way I've never felt before when pondering what I can see to be atypical behavior/emotions/response to stimuli but felt powerless to address.

    Thanks so much for helping a stranger on the internet, hoping to pay it forward someday.

    32 votes

  17. Comment on Dwayne Johnson became the world’s biggest movie star. Now he’s trying to disappear. in ~movies

    roo1ster
    Link
    I've been a fan of The Rock since The Run Down. His role in Be Cool pushed the bar even higher. Jungle Cruise is possibly my favorite. I think the draw is a combination of big human being,...

    I've been a fan of The Rock since The Run Down. His role in Be Cool pushed the bar even higher. Jungle Cruise is possibly my favorite.

    I think the draw is a combination of big human being, unwavering confidence and silly humor.

    Is it high art? Nope.
    Do I care? Nope.

    Sometimes I want cotton candy, sometimes I don't. He makes good cotton candy.

    13 votes

  18. Comment on Any recommendations for books, novellas and short story collections? in ~books

    roo1ster
    Link Parent
    even the 'full length novels' are like 120 pages of huge font (just sayin) - great series

    even the 'full length novels' are like 120 pages of huge font (just sayin) - great series

  19. Comment on What is your favorite museum? in ~talk

    roo1ster
    Link
    obligatory Smithsonian(s) in DC and Summer Palace in St Petersberg I haven't been but my parents rave about Crystal Bridges in Arkansas (They've been a few times and it's a several day drive to...

    obligatory Smithsonian(s) in DC and Summer Palace in St Petersberg
    I haven't been but my parents rave about Crystal Bridges in Arkansas (They've been a few times and it's a several day drive to get there)
    Possibly the most impactful in my teenage years (even over Smithsonian and Summer Palace), was a traveling exhibition of Monet paintings. Its one thing to look at a Monet poster and be wow'd, but to be in the presence of an original and be able to alternate between focusing in on brush strokes and stepping back to see it all ?morph? into a cohesive/crisp picture... #bucketlist
    Honorable mention - the stained glass globe you walk around inside at the Christian Science place in Boston was amazing, but mostly for the acoustics which you can recreate in many rotunda's around the world. Being able to hold a whisper level conversation w/someone on the other side of the globe/rotunda is/was ?mind bending?

    6 votes

  20. Comment on What is the key 'gameplay loop' in a MUD game? in ~games

    roo1ster
    Link
    I spend more time than I should on project1999 - it's everquest if everquest's last expansion had been Velious. I don't know where you're drawing the line between mud and mmorpg, but most of eq's...

    I spend more time than I should on project1999 - it's everquest if everquest's last expansion had been Velious. I don't know where you're drawing the line between mud and mmorpg, but most of eq's bones always felt like a text based mud with graphics pasted on top of it, so I'm gonna respond. I've had several chats over the years with others about why we're still playing a 20+ year old game.

    Common themes from these conversations:

    1. Nostalgia
    2. There's something very satisfying about clear goals/progress. The rest of your world may be going to shit, but your necro just ding'd 55 and scored some new spells/gear!!!!!
    3. gear - everquest has so. much. gear. At times it felt like the devs used bounded rng to determine which stats / how many stat points ended up on a piece of gear, so random. As such, there's very few cookie cutter characters running around the server.
    4. Everquest (especially early on, pre-wow) was a very large, open world. By mists of pandaria, wow felt like a side scroller with shading to make it look '3d'
    5. multiple play styles per character class (for many classes) - for example, druids can aoe quad, charm, root rot and you have to decide what works best for the mobs you want to hunt.
    6. Forced interaction with other players. Everything is easier w/a buddy or 2 to help. The really good gear requires raid sized forces to acquire. It didn't occur to the devs back in 1999 to create a market/meeting place to buy/sell, so players began congregating in a tunnel near a good city, an evil city and a portal to sell their wares. Some tradeskills have real potential to make $$$ selling the resulting products to other players, and tradeskills are ridiculously difficult to level up, so the people who did are sought after. Some quests are 'multi-questable' in that you can pay another player to do 90-99% of the quest and swoop in to loot the big reward at the last step in the quest.
    7. for at least the 1st 2 expansions, the expansions didn't entirely invalidate the original game/previous expacs.

    I also get the sense that the things that seem most annoying about the game are the very same things that keep those of us on project1999 coming back. Travel for non-porting classes is a royal pita - boats from 1 continent to another can take 20 minutes for the boat to arrive and another 20-30 riding the boat. Some of the bigger zones can take 20+ minutes to traverse if you even can with your current level/gear/spells/factions. When you die, you lose 4-16% of your xp, which can de-level you and make new spells/gear unusable until you regain the xp. You can get your xp back by way of resurrection, but that requires a class that can resurrect you, and they need to be transported to your corpse. My best guess is that the more you suffer/have to work for an accomplishment, the more rewarded you feel when you achieve that accomplishment.

    project1999 is free to play and is pretty close to a snapshot of Everquest in its heyday. Might be worth rolling a character in Freeport and surveying people buying/selling in the tunnel 1 zone over. Most of us are over 40 and chatty (I know several retirees who just log in to chat).