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What milestone did your children hit that you weren't ready for?
I'm a father of two girls, ages are 6 and 4. Miss 6 has had a wobbly tooth for a few weeks now (the way she has harped on it felt like years) now last week it came out. Being that it was loose for so long I thought I had come to terms with that, I hadn't. It's odd but it shook me harder than I would have expected.
What milestone has your little one hit that you weren't ready for? prepare this foolish dad for more things to come!
My daughter got her first period and first bra within a couple weeks of one another. She went from being a little girl to a tiny woman. It's not something that I was prepared for because it really does change everything. The stereotypes of hormones kicking in for teenage girls are no joke. Your former sweet little buddy goes from fine, to crying hysterically, to screeching hellsbeast, back to fine all in the space of 15 minutes. Worse is they act like nothing out of the ordinary happened. Leaves you feeling like you've taken crazy pills. Then as they get older and develop a little more you'll start to notice other people notice her. This is where the real shift happens. It's not so bad when people in her peer group notice her and try to flirt or whatnot, but you will immediately have every interaction you've ever had or will have with a woman change once you see someone in your peer group check out your daughter and try to flirt with her. It's made all the worse because at this point, she's still a little girl in her own mind and just thinks that people are being nice to her or is completely oblivious to what's going on. I would like to invent a new word to describe the rage, sadness, sickness, and fear this will invoke in you, but I haven't found it yet.
So, yeah. If a tooth shook you, perhaps you need to find a comfy chair and a sizable amount of beer because you're in for a rough ride.
Holy mother of hell. I never thought of the flirting thing... I've been wrestling with the idea of boys taking interest and have said to my wife many times it's a fact of life we can't change so if we are honest and up front from the start that's the best we can do, I also plan on making a deal with the girls that if they end up at a party or any other place they weren't meant to be and need an out, if they call and are honest about being in a spot of trouble I'll come and bail them out no matter what. Hell they can blame me for being lame to their friends that way they don't loose face with them.
I'll make sure to try and wrap my head around the becoming a little woman, part..
About the whole period thing, just be careful. Coming from someone who has periods, it doesn't make you some irrational moodswinging she-beast. Unfortunately, mood swings happen to most teens (boys and girls) and even adults.
One thing it has taken me too long to understand is that emotions are what they are. They're never "false," and they shouldn't be discounted because "she has her period." SOME women find their emotions heightened in the week before their period, but those emotions probably would have been there had she not been bleeding like a stuck pig. And, speaking of bleeding, sometimes menstruation and the process surrounding it fucking hurt. It's inconvenient, can be expensive, can ruin your favorite clothes/ sheets/ chairs, and it's all wrapped up in this taboo "ladies don't speak of such things," bullshit. I promise you, buddy, if this happened to you, hormones or no, you'd be pissed off occasionally, too.
I'm not trying to put any of this on you. You may already know, but I always want to do what I can to dispel the myths that all women become crazy. It's just not true.
None of that was taken in anyway other than friendly advice and I thank you for it.
I feel being a nurse will help when things change biologically, the "don't speak about it" will not be happening with us. My wife and I are already being as open as their ages will let us, why keep silent on things that happen to everyone? it's silly not to speak up. Especially if something goes wrong.
The girls may end up with polycystic ovaries or even endometriosis as it unfortunately runs in the family and if they can't talk about what's wrong they may end up ignoring it and only cause more pain that could be treated
Please do this for them. I'm not too far removed from the days of college and high school myself, and I have far too many friends who got themselves in deep trouble in high school because they were utterly terrified of calling their parents to get them home or out of some not-so-great situation.
I remember too many times myself being in a situation I didn't want to be in and peer pressure was crippling. I figure if I tell them both to be honest and ask for help when / if needed then I'll come pick them up no questions.
We all got into dumb shit as young teens and if they are at a party and things are happening they don't want to be around, then saying "Mum and Dad need me home. fuck they are so lame!" can be easier than confronting your friends.
Totally agree. You seem like a good parent; your kids are lucky :)
Thank you. I'm just fumbling my way through life and this parenting thing, in the end all I want is an open and honest relationship with them. If they can come to me with any issue then I feel that's a win
I had to play Animaniacs’ Katie Kaboom for my son to help him understand that it’s not always his fault when she cycles through emotions.
Not really a milestone but more of a mental marker for myself. Came to the US when I was 5 and it was a bit nostalgic when my oldest turned that age. Something something circle of life went on in my head. I was an interesting sight to see just because I have faint recollections at that age and keep trying to map them to my kids as well, to get into their heads in some sort of way.
I've done that many times myself, it also blows my mind that they are growing up with technology that I never would have even believed would be real. Things we watched in movies that were so futuristic are just the normal now.