sublime_aenima's recent activity
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Comment on F1nn5ter: Coming out in ~lgbt
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Comment on Movies you enjoy that nobody else does in ~movies
sublime_aenima Link ParentBubble Boy is such a fun movie. My brothers and I used to watch it every time it was on TV. I especially love Fabio’s cult group that wanted to save him.Bubble Boy is such a fun movie. My brothers and I used to watch it every time it was on TV. I especially love Fabio’s cult group that wanted to save him.
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Comment on Movies you enjoy that nobody else does in ~movies
sublime_aenima Link ParentI love Oscar as well. I really enjoy how everyone is trying to get out on top of everyone else, all the meanwhile Oscar keeps getting pulled into events while wanting to go straight.I love Oscar as well. I really enjoy how everyone is trying to get out on top of everyone else, all the meanwhile Oscar keeps getting pulled into events while wanting to go straight.
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Comment on Do you have favorite lighthearted or silly songs? in ~music
sublime_aenima Link“Grandma got run over by a reindeer” will always have a special place in my heart. My grandpa was the first one to introduce me to the song and he cackled as my grandma chastised us that it was a...“Grandma got run over by a reindeer” will always have a special place in my heart. My grandpa was the first one to introduce me to the song and he cackled as my grandma chastised us that it was a rude song.
L.M.F.A.O’s “Party Rock Anthem” is fun as are most of their songs.
Bloodhound Gang’s “The Bad Touch” is also great silliness.
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Comment on Seeking advice to make a trip to Italy better in ~travel
sublime_aenima Link ParentI have to disagree with @nacho. I enjoyed Venice for the unique experience that it offers (although wouldn’t recommend more than a couple days). Seeing a glass factory and the amazing art they...I have to disagree with @nacho.
I enjoyed Venice for the unique experience that it offers (although wouldn’t recommend more than a couple days). Seeing a glass factory and the amazing art they create was my highlight.
Rome was fantastic as well. We visited the Forum, the Vatican, museums and spent days just tooling around taking in the sights and rich history.
Verona was a disappointment for me. It was crowded and aside from their amphitheater wasn’t all that great. Its claim to fame is the Juliette house which is really just an over crowded tourist trap.
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Comment on Man bitten by stray cat contracts infection unknown to science in ~science
sublime_aenima LinkWhen my wife was pregnant with our first kid her family from a 3rd world country gifted us some linens. Turns out a flea hitched a ride and bit my wife. She ended up growing a brain like, tennis...When my wife was pregnant with our first kid her family from a 3rd world country gifted us some linens. Turns out a flea hitched a ride and bit my wife. She ended up growing a brain like, tennis ball sized mass on her hand. Going to multiple doctors in California we had reactions such as “what the heck is that?” Eventually a dermatologist took a biopsy and found that it was a fungus transmitted from a flea. A week after a diagnosis it was gone and now 20 years later she has a small scar to remind her of when she stumped multiple doctors.
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Comment on Want employees to return to the office? Then give each one an office. in ~life
sublime_aenima LinkI’ve worked in labs, in cubicles, in open offices, remote, and currently in a private office onsite. Each one has its advantages and disadvantages depending upon the actual work being performed....I’ve worked in labs, in cubicles, in open offices, remote, and currently in a private office onsite. Each one has its advantages and disadvantages depending upon the actual work being performed.
I’ve found that if the meeting I’m in is boring or if I only need to pay attention to the details that concern me I will prefer virtual meetings and do something else for the bulk of the meeting. Sometimes it’s productive, more often than not it’s browsing the web or doing an unrelated task. When working from home this would often be running errands, cleaning my house, making meals, etc. At work it’s sitting on my phone, or doing actual work in a separate window. If it’s an in person meeting, I will pay attention even if it’s just enough to not be rude.
The problem with many meetings are that they don’t need to be meetings and could be an email instead. If I call a meeting it’s to brainstorm, align, or get feedback. For those I prefer in person because body language is an important part of feedback.
Working in an open office is good when everyone’s job overlaps and you need to work as a team. Otherwise it’s absolutely horrible. In reality a conference room that can be used when needed or an office when not is a much better option. Cubicles are acknowledgment that you probably need an office or WFH but the company doesn’t value you / your privacy enough.
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Comment on Starter tool set for someone starting out in ~life.home_improvement
sublime_aenima Link ParentThe green is also generally used for rough surfaces such as stucco or cinder blocks.The green is also generally used for rough surfaces such as stucco or cinder blocks.
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Comment on Starter tool set for someone starting out in ~life.home_improvement
sublime_aenima Link ParentYes, but either with a wall anchor or I use my fish tape with a small hole in the drywall to find the stud.Yes, but either with a wall anchor or I use my fish tape with a small hole in the drywall to find the stud.
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Comment on Starter tool set for someone starting out in ~life.home_improvement
sublime_aenima Link ParentI was gifted a stud finder and aside from using it to make my wife roll her eyes, I have rarely used it. It can be a bit inaccurate and aside from mounting a TV, I typically don’t need to find studs.I was gifted a stud finder and aside from using it to make my wife roll her eyes, I have rarely used it. It can be a bit inaccurate and aside from mounting a TV, I typically don’t need to find studs.
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Comment on Starter tool set for someone starting out in ~life.home_improvement
sublime_aenima LinkMore and more is held together with Allen screws. I would suggest a set of metric and imperial to cover both options. Also agree with @the_man, ear protection is crucial. I have a pair of...More and more is held together with Allen screws. I would suggest a set of metric and imperial to cover both options.
Also agree with @the_man, ear protection is crucial. I have a pair of Bluetooth ear muffs that I use anytime I’m using power tools, moving the lawn, ignoring extended family, etc. I also have a bin full of foam ear plugs for when I’m working with others. I make sure to bring some to concerts as well.
A pencil and sharpie are also critical tools in my tool box, especially in this digital age when I rarely use them outside projects.
I also get more use out of my flexible grabber claw than I ever thought I would. -
Comment on How do you hang stuff—from the walls or ceilings—around your house when you're decorating? in ~life.home_improvement
sublime_aenima Link Parent@herbs too 3M has poster putty which works very well with raw posters rather than needing the claws or command Hooks. I’ve even used it to put on small frames.@herbs too
3M has poster putty which works very well with raw posters rather than needing the claws or command Hooks. I’ve even used it to put on small frames.
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Comment on Seeking help with understanding compression fittings in ~life.home_improvement
sublime_aenima LinkUse silicone to create a seal. Make sure to get it around the hole and threads. Then use a nut and washer on the inside to mechanically keep it in place. Wait 24 to 72 hours before you add water....Use silicone to create a seal. Make sure to get it around the hole and threads. Then use a nut and washer on the inside to mechanically keep it in place. Wait 24 to 72 hours before you add water. I have used similar set ups in the past for high vacuum and high pressure systems.
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Comment on US Federal Reserve announces that its new system for instant payments, the FedNow Service, is now live in ~finance
sublime_aenima Link ParentI refuse to use Venmo and last used paypal a decade ago and even then only because it was a business account. I have used Zelle many times for many various reasons since it’s through my bank, but...I refuse to use Venmo and last used paypal a decade ago and even then only because it was a business account. I have used Zelle many times for many various reasons since it’s through my bank, but never for a commercial transaction. For business purposes I have credit cards and don’t care how long it takes them to receive the funds.
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Comment on I'm generally confused about dating women in ~life.men
sublime_aenima Link ParentBut that’s the thing. Finding the right person should not be mentally exhausting. I get mentally exhausted at work and look forward to coming home and being mentally rejuvenated by spending time...But that’s the thing. Finding the right person should not be mentally exhausting. I get mentally exhausted at work and look forward to coming home and being mentally rejuvenated by spending time with my wife. I don’t have to think about what to say or do, I’m just me.
Don’t get me wrong, I do have lots of conversations with my wife that force me think critically and have sometimes led me to change my perspective. There have been challenging conversations that leave me exhausted, but that’s when we get I to deep talks. If my wife wasn’t mentally stimulating I wouldn’t be with her. That said, it’s refreshing to know that I can come home from work and mentally decompress or even check out while still enjoying time with my wife.
The night we met, she didn’t speak a word to me and I only spoke a single sentence to her. But the more we interacted through the groups we hung out with, the more we were drawn together. 20 years later, I can’t imagine my life without her. Similarly, most (not all) the people I know in decades long love started their relationships by being friends first and the dating began later.
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Comment on What's the most enjoyable part of your work? in ~talk
sublime_aenima Link ParentI supervise a team of process engineers and technicians. Depending upon the line that they run, some get to make hundreds of different products while others are stuck making only a small handful....I supervise a team of process engineers and technicians. Depending upon the line that they run, some get to make hundreds of different products while others are stuck making only a small handful. My company encourages our engineers to be creative and allows up to 6 hours per week to be spent on creativity or personal development. Sadly, if you asked anyone on my team about how they spend those hours they would laugh at you and say they are too busy just keeping their lines up. Over the last couple decades we have lost a dozen or so engineers that corporate refuses to replace due to cost constraints. This causes burnout and increases turnover which creates a negative loop with long periods where even the bare minimum of engineers is not met. I think half my time is spent trying to help distribute the load or to take up any tasks that I can do for them.
Back when I was an engineer I loved troubleshooting and coming up with new designs. Now that I’m a supervisor, I really enjoy helping the newer people to better problem solve and especially like being the cheerleader when anyone from my team gets a win.
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Comment on America’s therapy boom in ~health.mental
sublime_aenima Link ParentMy wife was a private therapist for a while. When Covid hit, she went remote and offered virtual services just like the ones that are advertised (except she was private). Like in person services...My wife was a private therapist for a while. When Covid hit, she went remote and offered virtual services just like the ones that are advertised (except she was private). Like in person services it will depend on the therapist and the patient. The relationship between them will usually dictate how well the therapy works. There are many therapists who are not good at their job. There are patients who do not listen/act upon the advice they are given. Sometimes the personal values are not shared between the therapist and patient and therefore it does not work out.
In general, we tend to make better connections when we are physically in the same room compared to video calls. You are able to read and react to body language while sharing the same environment, distractions, etc. There are certain treatments that work much better in person (EMDR) than virtual. That said, virtual therapy can help and if you find the right therapist can be just as effective as physical.
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Comment on America’s therapy boom in ~health.mental
sublime_aenima Link ParentThere is more/easier money for private investors to open rehabs or sober homes. Unless you are a cash only business, you typically need to accept various insurances and similar to government...There is more/easier money for private investors to open rehabs or sober homes. Unless you are a cash only business, you typically need to accept various insurances and similar to government services they have a pre-set rate that they feel therapists services are worth. Couple that when people cancel, then you have hours that likely are too close to fill with someone else so then you don’t get paid for that time. By the time you factor in the office you rent, your records system, etc. there typically is not a great pay.
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Comment on The careers people are searching for the most in ~life
sublime_aenima Link ParentWe kind of did have influencers though. Instead of instagram, twitter, and TikTok, we had reality tv and gossip magazines. Things were not as instant, but we still knew what brands and styles...We kind of did have influencers though. Instead of instagram, twitter, and TikTok, we had reality tv and gossip magazines. Things were not as instant, but we still knew what brands and styles various celebrities used. I think the biggest difference now is that there are many niches for more variety of celebrities/influencers.
https://hashtagpaid.com/banknotes/how-the-80s-shaped-influencer-marketing-10-examples
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~life.men
sublime_aenima LinkIt depends upon the situation. When my kids were young, our dog used to sleep with the kids. The dog was probably around 10-15 lbs, my youngest was around 3 and the older about 5. We used to leave...It depends upon the situation.
When my kids were young, our dog used to sleep with the kids. The dog was probably around 10-15 lbs, my youngest was around 3 and the older about 5. We used to leave our back door open so the dog could go outside when needed. One night I was startled awake by the sound of both kids screaming in terror and the dog growling. Instinctively I jumped out of bed and started throwing on some underwear while thinking my kids were being attacked. I assumed it was an animal since we lived in an area full of coyotes, mountain lions, and bobcats, so I was growling and making noise while bouncing down the hall on one foot trying to get the underwear on. Turns out that the 3 year old was upset the dog left his bed and went into the other room so he went looking. This startled the 5 year old who screamed, which set the dog off who was under the covers, which scared the 3 year old and caused him to start screaming. The 3 of them fell back asleep in minutes, while it took me hours to let the adrenaline run through.
When my wife and I were hanging out with some family in a bar in downtown Albuquerque and someone pulled a gun, my immediate reaction was to pay our tab and usher everyone in our group out as fast as possible.
A teammate of mine was kicked in the back during a soccer game (a purposeful cheap shot). He trained in martial arts and kickboxing so immediately turned around and knocked the other guy on his back. As he stepped over the other guy ready to pummel him, I jumped in between giving my teammate a bear hug and repeated it wasn’t worth hurting the other guy. The guy on the ground tried to get up and act tough, but when I told him I would let go he started apologizing and ran.
We moved from a republican stronghold in a blue state to a purple state. The freedom this has afforded my oldest to truly live his best self has been awesome. Both sets of grandparents back in California tried their hardest to prevent him from becoming the man he is today and as much as moving across the country during Covid had its challenges, I couldn’t be happier for him nor more proud.
One of his best friends struggles with identity and lived with us for a while as a trans woman. He recently reverted back to identifying as a gay man who struggles with gender. Running into him with a mustache threw me for a loop, but he seemed happy which is all I can ask for.
I know my kid is on HRT and is worlds better than when he was in the closet. He still struggles with bigotry from time to time and has several friends who do as well, but I trust that it’s the right decision even if he does wear makeup and skirts on occasion. The freedom to express himself and explore his gender have been life affirming.