The list of traits seems to me a collection of common human vulnerabilities, especially loneliness and the desire for validation. This of course doesn't mean that there's a causal connection of...
The list of traits seems to me a collection of common human vulnerabilities, especially loneliness and the desire for validation.
This of course doesn't mean that there's a causal connection of the vulnerabilities with online catfishing behaviour. Especially it's not an excuse of scamming people for their affection or money. But I wonder, what if the Internet as human society were more caring, more facilitating and appreciative of our true selves? By this I don't mean that these qualities could be somehow imbued in the Internet in an essentialist way. These qualities are, first of all, ways how individuals behave. On top of this, it may be said that the internal rules and dynamics of the entire group are a kind of procedural knowledge of those qualities. Here on Tildes we're quite mindful to the latter, and that's why we have the many meta discussions in ~tildes.
The reason I bring up this topic is that I see "catfishing" as a reflection of incomplete and maladaptive processing of the vulnerabilities within one's own. Now from the article we understand that some people are more prone to this. We may say they're less emotionally resilient. But I can see also a verdict on the social condition of Internet communities: that it lacks care, safety, acceptance, and openness. It offers the seductive prospect of connecting with others, while under its usual mechanisms and in-built rules, true connections on a personal level are so scarce and perilous, and people can and do feel more lonely and lacking self-esteem.
The most obvious example is the woman who impersonated a male persona because she liked women. If there were less homophobia in her community, we might imagine her behaviour would not be the same. She might be more natural, more at home with her own sexuality, even though uncertain and anxious.
I believe the vast majority of us want the community we live in to be such that meaningful communication and relations are possible, vulnerable emotions are valid, while destructive behaviours are penalized consistently and justly, without depleting the grace and acceptance. Presumably if we manage to do this, there will be less motivation for impersonating a false self.
Mediated by the modern media with its raw power and rapid changes, are we quite ready to accept (to host) other true selves? Are we ready to approach others (to be guests) in our true selves? What is the philoxenia of online communities? These are the questions I find myself thinking a lot about.
The list of traits seems to me a collection of common human vulnerabilities, especially loneliness and the desire for validation.
This of course doesn't mean that there's a causal connection of the vulnerabilities with online catfishing behaviour. Especially it's not an excuse of scamming people for their affection or money. But I wonder, what if the Internet as human society were more caring, more facilitating and appreciative of our true selves? By this I don't mean that these qualities could be somehow imbued in the Internet in an essentialist way. These qualities are, first of all, ways how individuals behave. On top of this, it may be said that the internal rules and dynamics of the entire group are a kind of procedural knowledge of those qualities. Here on Tildes we're quite mindful to the latter, and that's why we have the many meta discussions in ~tildes.
The reason I bring up this topic is that I see "catfishing" as a reflection of incomplete and maladaptive processing of the vulnerabilities within one's own. Now from the article we understand that some people are more prone to this. We may say they're less emotionally resilient. But I can see also a verdict on the social condition of Internet communities: that it lacks care, safety, acceptance, and openness. It offers the seductive prospect of connecting with others, while under its usual mechanisms and in-built rules, true connections on a personal level are so scarce and perilous, and people can and do feel more lonely and lacking self-esteem.
The most obvious example is the woman who impersonated a male persona because she liked women. If there were less homophobia in her community, we might imagine her behaviour would not be the same. She might be more natural, more at home with her own sexuality, even though uncertain and anxious.
I believe the vast majority of us want the community we live in to be such that meaningful communication and relations are possible, vulnerable emotions are valid, while destructive behaviours are penalized consistently and justly, without depleting the grace and acceptance. Presumably if we manage to do this, there will be less motivation for impersonating a false self.
Mediated by the modern media with its raw power and rapid changes, are we quite ready to accept (to host) other true selves? Are we ready to approach others (to be guests) in our true selves? What is the philoxenia of online communities? These are the questions I find myself thinking a lot about.