This is an excellent point, and the "bullying-by-friends" issue is one reason I stopped trying to make friends as a kid. Instead, I figured that it's harder for other kids to hurt me that way if I...
This is an excellent point, and the "bullying-by-friends" issue is one reason I stopped trying to make friends as a kid. Instead, I figured that it's harder for other kids to hurt me that way if I don't let them get close.
I thought it was a really good point too. Honestly, I've always eyerolled at the anti-bullying campaigns I've seen growing up and now. They just seem so detached from the realities I see.
I thought it was a really good point too. Honestly, I've always eyerolled at the anti-bullying campaigns I've seen growing up and now. They just seem so detached from the realities I see.
TBH, I have trouble taking anti-bullying campaigns seriously when they refuse to acknowledge that the Ender Solution -- picking a bully, ambushing them, and beating the shit out of them in so...
TBH, I have trouble taking anti-bullying campaigns seriously when they refuse to acknowledge that the Ender Solution -- picking a bully, ambushing them, and beating the shit out of them in so thorough and merciless a fashion that it frightens others -- often works for those angry enough or ruthless enough to pull it off.
Sounds like we had some similar school experiences (although mine were not particularly physically extreme). But society is unwilling to give up it's monopoly on violence & most adults are happy...
Sounds like we had some similar school experiences (although mine were not particularly physically extreme).
But society is unwilling to give up it's monopoly on violence & most adults are happy with this state of affairs.
I think one of the things is that most adults have only vague recollections of what being a kid was like, especially young kids (like younger than 7 or so). It's hard to write good advice for...
I think one of the things is that most adults have only vague recollections of what being a kid was like, especially young kids (like younger than 7 or so). It's hard to write good advice for something you're on the outside of.
I think there should be more books that make kids take a sec and say "wait, am I the baddie?" A lot of bullies don't see themselves as a bully, especially these days where it's something so actively spoken out against.
I am not sure about that. Bullying is hardly something that limited to kids. I can see kids and adults not thinking of themselves as bullies. In cases like excluding others, most will just think...
I am not sure about that. Bullying is hardly something that limited to kids.
I can see kids and adults not thinking of themselves as bullies. In cases like excluding others, most will just think of it as "I don't want to hang out with them" and not beyond that.
I'd really like to see schools implement more mediation programs. It seems like an opportunity for kids to learn more complex social dynamics and to view their peers as team mates who they should...
I'd really like to see schools implement more mediation programs.
It seems like an opportunity for kids to learn more complex social dynamics and to view their peers as team mates who they should help.
The main problem here is that teachers are children that have gone through years of school to end up, once again, in a school environment. These days teachers rarely work in their field, and so...
The main problem here is that teachers are children that have gone through years of school to end up, once again, in a school environment. These days teachers rarely work in their field, and so they are never exposed to environments where bullying is truly unacceptable. In any normal work environment, workplace harassment is taken seriously and there is a resolution process. If that fails or HR are supporting the bullying, the adult is free to leave.
For an adult never to be in a position where bullying is taken seriously, causes them to normalize such an attitude, and so they do not take it seriously. And so the cycle continues.
Half the problem with bullying, is that the people working on 'the establishment' side of it do not take it seriously. Bullying is something that if it were taken seriously, it would not have a chance to thrive.
Of course, the true root of these problems is that the children are powerless in a system that does not respect them , nor treats them like an individual. In the home education groups I attended there was never any bullying (And I do not mean there were no fights or unpleasant attitudes towards others, rather that they did not persist for very long at all), because it was dealt with immediately (The children involved were taken aside by the parents involved and reasoned with, and in extreme cases, taken out of the environment to allow them to cool down), but also because the power dynamics were completely different.
While I mostly agree with you, you have to take into account that teachers deal with children, and you can't implement the same rules and procedures with children as you can with adults. So while...
While I mostly agree with you, you have to take into account that teachers deal with children, and you can't implement the same rules and procedures with children as you can with adults. So while bullying and harrassment are taken seriously in workplaces involving primarily adults - I would argue it is as well in schools, it's just harder to change and prevent.
The idea that bullying is taken seriously in schools is honestly quite laughable given the experience of both myself, and most people I know. In my experience, most adults did not care about...
The idea that bullying is taken seriously in schools is honestly quite laughable given the experience of both myself, and most people I know. In my experience, most adults did not care about children hassling other children, and preferred an easy life instead. Again, in my experience, if adults have their wits about themselves and have a keen eye, it is more than possible to deal with bullying early, swiftly, and sensitively. In such an environment, bullying cannot persist.
This is why I had no compunction about using violence to deal with bullies. I knew the authority figures didn't give a shit about me or my concerns, and I knew the rules weren't going to protect...
Half the problem with bullying, is that the people working on 'the establishment' side of it do not take it seriously. Bullying is something that if it were taken seriously, it would not have a chance to thrive.
This is why I had no compunction about using violence to deal with bullies. I knew the authority figures didn't give a shit about me or my concerns, and I knew the rules weren't going to protect me, so I took matters into my own hands.
This is an excellent point, and the "bullying-by-friends" issue is one reason I stopped trying to make friends as a kid. Instead, I figured that it's harder for other kids to hurt me that way if I don't let them get close.
I thought it was a really good point too. Honestly, I've always eyerolled at the anti-bullying campaigns I've seen growing up and now. They just seem so detached from the realities I see.
TBH, I have trouble taking anti-bullying campaigns seriously when they refuse to acknowledge that the Ender Solution -- picking a bully, ambushing them, and beating the shit out of them in so thorough and merciless a fashion that it frightens others -- often works for those angry enough or ruthless enough to pull it off.
It worked for me, anyway.
Sounds like we had some similar school experiences (although mine were not particularly physically extreme).
But society is unwilling to give up it's monopoly on violence & most adults are happy with this state of affairs.
I think one of the things is that most adults have only vague recollections of what being a kid was like, especially young kids (like younger than 7 or so). It's hard to write good advice for something you're on the outside of.
I think there should be more books that make kids take a sec and say "wait, am I the baddie?" A lot of bullies don't see themselves as a bully, especially these days where it's something so actively spoken out against.
I am not sure about that. Bullying is hardly something that limited to kids.
I can see kids and adults not thinking of themselves as bullies. In cases like excluding others, most will just think of it as "I don't want to hang out with them" and not beyond that.
I'd really like to see schools implement more mediation programs.
It seems like an opportunity for kids to learn more complex social dynamics and to view their peers as team mates who they should help.
The main problem here is that teachers are children that have gone through years of school to end up, once again, in a school environment. These days teachers rarely work in their field, and so they are never exposed to environments where bullying is truly unacceptable. In any normal work environment, workplace harassment is taken seriously and there is a resolution process. If that fails or HR are supporting the bullying, the adult is free to leave.
For an adult never to be in a position where bullying is taken seriously, causes them to normalize such an attitude, and so they do not take it seriously. And so the cycle continues.
Half the problem with bullying, is that the people working on 'the establishment' side of it do not take it seriously. Bullying is something that if it were taken seriously, it would not have a chance to thrive.
Of course, the true root of these problems is that the children are powerless in a system that does not respect them , nor treats them like an individual. In the home education groups I attended there was never any bullying (And I do not mean there were no fights or unpleasant attitudes towards others, rather that they did not persist for very long at all), because it was dealt with immediately (The children involved were taken aside by the parents involved and reasoned with, and in extreme cases, taken out of the environment to allow them to cool down), but also because the power dynamics were completely different.
While I mostly agree with you, you have to take into account that teachers deal with children, and you can't implement the same rules and procedures with children as you can with adults. So while bullying and harrassment are taken seriously in workplaces involving primarily adults - I would argue it is as well in schools, it's just harder to change and prevent.
The idea that bullying is taken seriously in schools is honestly quite laughable given the experience of both myself, and most people I know. In my experience, most adults did not care about children hassling other children, and preferred an easy life instead. Again, in my experience, if adults have their wits about themselves and have a keen eye, it is more than possible to deal with bullying early, swiftly, and sensitively. In such an environment, bullying cannot persist.
This is why I had no compunction about using violence to deal with bullies. I knew the authority figures didn't give a shit about me or my concerns, and I knew the rules weren't going to protect me, so I took matters into my own hands.