Polyamory, unicorns, demisexuality: Five takes on monogamy and its alternatives

"The worst problem is deception, and whether you choose to be in a monogamous relationship or in an open or polyamorous relationship and workshop or talk through your challenges, that's going to be the best option."

This is what it comes down to. I've been polyamory for over two and a half years, with a couple non monogamous experiences before then. It feels wrong at first, to talk to your partner(s) about other crushes, encounters, it partners, but it needs to be done. Even if the talk is setting up the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy, it needs to happen. Hell, it should happen in monogamous relationship too. "What do you want and expect from this? What are your boundaries?"

"I think men are much better at compartmentalising sex and feelings and can separate sex from emotional intimacy," she says.

I think this idea of having to separate sex and feelings came up in another article posted on here about polyamory, and to me it reflects a misunderstanding of what polyamory is for a lot of people. My partner and I don't have a rule that we must both actively avoid catching feelings for other people — polyamory for us is having multiple relationships, not having multiple sex partners with no feelings allowed.

I was really interested to see demisexuality in the title, and I was a bit disappointed the demisexual person was monogamous. It would have been nice to see someone a bit like me. I don't feel a need to publicly identify as demisexual in my real life, but it fits my experiences. It doesn't have any effect on whether or not I'm comfortable being in a polyamorous relationship. In fact, the only effect it has is that so far, because I've yet to meet anyone I feel close enough to be attracted to, I'm essentially a monogamous partner in a polyamorous relationship.