12 votes

Why you shouldn't help your coworkers unless they ask

2 comments

  1. [2]
    Gaywallet
    Link
    This isn't just true of coworkers. Offering help to your friends that isn't requested, regardless of context, is a good way to put stress on a relationship. One of the best things I ever learned...

    This isn't just true of coworkers. Offering help to your friends that isn't requested, regardless of context, is a good way to put stress on a relationship.

    One of the best things I ever learned was to never offer advice unless it is requested, and when you offer it, if at all possible, you shouldn't directly offer it. Instead, you should provide targeted questions to the individual and help them come to the understanding that you wish to convey. This will help to cement the concepts of how to troubleshoot a problem or the concepts of the problem itself, as well as make them feel like they came to the conclusion themselves with your help - reinforcing their own intelligence.

    5 votes
    1. Ruthalas
      Link Parent
      Agreed. Additionally, depending on how forthright you are with your friends, asking them directly if they are interested in advice can be a good approach. (It need to be coupled with an easy way...

      Agreed.

      Additionally, depending on how forthright you are with your friends, asking them directly if they are interested in advice can be a good approach. (It need to be coupled with an easy way to decline though.)

      Ex: Hey, I've experienced that before, are you open to advice, or would you just prefer a sounding board or commiseration?

      1 vote