8 votes

Fundraiser soars past $200,000 for bullying victim Quaden Bayles

7 comments

  1. [6]
    Turtle
    (edited )
    Link
    Is it just me or was posting such a video totally out of line? I mean, at a surface level the outcomes seem to be mostly positive, and I'm glad things are improving for this kid, but overall I...

    Is it just me or was posting such a video totally out of line? I mean, at a surface level the outcomes seem to be mostly positive, and I'm glad things are improving for this kid, but overall I think this will cause more harm than benefit for him. Does the mother not realize that this video isn't going to just disappear with the next news cycle? I think there are better ways to raise awareness of bullying.

    5 votes
    1. Bullmaestro
      Link Parent
      Sometimes you have to show the ugly truth of what bullying does.

      Sometimes you have to show the ugly truth of what bullying does.

      2 votes
    2. [4]
      cfabbro
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      How so? He is now on the receiving end of a giant wave of positivity and support, which I am sure he greatly appreciates right now. I also very much doubt anyone at the school will dare bully him...

      but overall I think this will cause more harm than benefit for him.

      How so? He is now on the receiving end of a giant wave of positivity and support, which I am sure he greatly appreciates right now. I also very much doubt anyone at the school will dare bully him again, and hopefully the school (and others) will now take some positive steps towards ensuring that it doesn't happen to other kids either. And it also raised a ton of awareness for the issue and plenty of money for the related charities to continue to do similar.

      Does the mother not realize that this video isn't going to just disappear with the next news cycle?

      True, but given all the support he is receiving now as a result of it, I would hope that if he sees it again in the future he won't see it as shameful in any way, but instead as something that triggered a positive change in his life.

      1 vote
      1. [2]
        Greg
        Link Parent
        The thought of having my most painful, vulnerable childhood memories crystallised and published is something that wakes me up in a cold sweat even as an adult. This is an absolute best case...

        The thought of having my most painful, vulnerable childhood memories crystallised and published is something that wakes me up in a cold sweat even as an adult.

        This is an absolute best case scenario in that it led to support, recognition, and money. Even then, even with the most positive reaction from everyone involved, I expect it to be painful for him to relive when it inevitably gets brought up in high school, or when it remains one of the first identifying characteristics in his online presence. I would also be utterly humiliated, even knowing logically that it is nothing to be ashamed of; sadly the emotional mind does not always listen to reason.

        My cynical self also says there'll be crudely captioned or edited versions floating around his school within six months once the initial sting has worn off, and that's only assuming it hasn't happened already.

        That's with a huge outpouring of support, coverage, and money. I have no doubt there are thousands more videos like this which were only ever seen by a handful of people, and brought all the negatives with few or none of the positives. The risk/reward proposition seems awful to me.

        10 votes
        1. cfabbro
          Link Parent
          Those are definitely fair concerns. I guess I just got a little too wrapped up in the positives here that I overlooked how many potential negatives there might also be.

          Those are definitely fair concerns. I guess I just got a little too wrapped up in the positives here that I overlooked how many potential negatives there might also be.

          2 votes
      2. Algernon_Asimov
        Link Parent
        As a one-time expert in bullying, I beg to disagree. He's now that kid whose mummy put his cry-baby video on the internet for all the world to see. He'll still be bullied. That video and the...

        I also very much doubt anyone at the school will dare bully him again

        As a one-time expert in bullying, I beg to disagree. He's now that kid whose mummy put his cry-baby video on the internet for all the world to see. He'll still be bullied. That video and the attention it got has made him a target for all bullies. And, because it's on the internet, noone is ever going to forget it. This will follow him through high school.

        Adults might not see the bullying happen, but it will happen.

        5 votes
  2. Greg
    Link
    I'm thoroughly pleased for him, but I've always found the internet roulette wheel to be an utterly strange phenomenon. Sometimes trauma dishes out life changing sums of money, far more often...

    I'm thoroughly pleased for him, but I've always found the internet roulette wheel to be an utterly strange phenomenon. Sometimes trauma dishes out life changing sums of money, far more often nothing but the lifelong scarring.

    The same goes for legal compensation, to an extent, but at least there is some semblance of oversight there; the whims of the zeitgeist seem to have no such limitation.

    This boy still has to live with his trauma, and no doubt the messages of support and unity will help him in some way, but then tangentially he's also in a situation where (if managed correctly) he's insulated from the worst of normal money worries for the rest of his life.

    It's just such an odd tradeoff to me - the two issues are just barely related, yet both extremely significant in their separate ways. How do we as a society reconcile this? Is there a line for what amount is fair or excessive? What do we say to everyone else in a similar situation? Is their suffering any different, that it should be "worth" so much less? Or should they simply be happy for something that benefits one person while taking nothing from them?

    5 votes