16 votes

Topic deleted by author

10 comments

  1. [2]
    hmm
    Link
    So I am also trans and I've changed my name socially. Before that, I went by my middle name with family and my first name with everyone else. While legally changing my name is something I should...

    So I am also trans and I've changed my name socially. Before that, I went by my middle name with family and my first name with everyone else.

    While legally changing my name is something I should do, I am still hesitant to do it. Not because financial reasons, though that is a bit of the reason, but because I feel like the I'll come to regret it. The name I chose is short and regularly, it often comes from a shortened version of a longer name (like the name Sam for Samantha or Samuel). If I were to legally change it, I feel like I'd need to use one of the longer versions, or it'd be weird. But the longer versions are so long, and I decided to keep my middle name which is equally long. And I'm not accustomed to calling myself anything but the short version of the name. Plus, I still have trouble accepting myself. I don't know if I could take changing my name while not being 100% sure about who I am.

    One day though, I hope I'll be able to do it.

    6 votes
    1. [2]
      Comment deleted by author
      Link Parent
      1. hmm
        Link Parent
        Hey thanks for that. I still think it would be weird but you're right. No one else will need to know my full legal name. One day I will. I have to eventually, because I cannot stand having to use...

        Hey thanks for that. I still think it would be weird but you're right. No one else will need to know my full legal name. One day I will. I have to eventually, because I cannot stand having to use my birth name. Thanks. Sucks about your name though. Kat is a cute name :)

        1 vote
  2. [3]
    ajar
    Link
    A bit off-topic, but I think it's interesting. In Thailand people very often change their names to bring good luck. Before birth they consult fortune tellers to get the right name for their DOB,...

    A bit off-topic, but I think it's interesting. In Thailand people very often change their names to bring good luck. Before birth they consult fortune tellers to get the right name for their DOB, and they take into account every single letter. After that, if they want a change in their life, it's pretty common to change their name to something completely different (or maybe even just changing a few letters).

    Names in Thailand are very interesting, they started using surnames only at the beginning of the 20th century and they usually have informal names that are short and completely unrelated to their full names, stuff like "Pig" or "Rice".

    3 votes
    1. [3]
      Comment deleted by author
      Link Parent
      1. [2]
        ajar
        Link Parent
        Was that a hassle? The immigration department there is one of those places I associate to hell on earth.

        Was that a hassle? The immigration department there is one of those places I associate to hell on earth.

        1. [2]
          Comment deleted by author
          Link Parent
          1. ajar
            Link Parent
            Oh, ok. I think I did everything in the same place. I try to forget those trips.

            Oh, ok. I think I did everything in the same place. I try to forget those trips.

  3. paddy
    Link
    So I'm cis and legally changed both my given and family names when I married. I was named after my father, but everyone had called me by a nickname since before I can remember. I got checks to the...

    So I'm cis and legally changed both my given and family names when I married. I was named after my father, but everyone had called me by a nickname since before I can remember. I got checks to the nickname. My latest job offer had the contract written to the nickname. It was annoying, so I changed it.

    Changing your name, for those that don't know, is a major pain in the ass. It's expensive and time consuming. Not the legally changing part, though that was like $300 and took up some time, but then updating it everywhere. Lots of fees, postage, notary fees, and phone calls.

    Also, there's an emotional cost: my mom is super annoyed I changed my name. As far as I know, my dad still doesn't know.

    So I guess my answer is: the emotional cost isn't the legal procedure, in my case, but the amount of follow-up work it requires and the family relationships it strains.

    3 votes
  4. Stardivarius
    Link
    I haven't changed my birth name and I don't plan to unless for some reason I really had to for my protection or something. I quite like the name I was given at birth. I'm not opposed to the...

    I haven't changed my birth name and I don't plan to unless for some reason I really had to for my protection or something. I quite like the name I was given at birth.

    I'm not opposed to the concept of changing ones name at all. Sometimes it's a little weird to get used to when you've known someone for a while and they change their name, but I always do my best to refer to someone as to how they want to be called.

    2 votes
  5. ols
    Link
    I know you said “other than marriage” but I changed mine when I married my wife, which I don’t think is that common How very modern of me, right? We went double-barrelled with the aim of starting...

    I know you said “other than marriage” but I changed mine when I married my wife, which I don’t think is that common

    How very modern of me, right?

    We went double-barrelled with the aim of starting a new identity for our family

    2 votes
  6. eladnarra
    (edited )
    Link
    That's an interesting set of questions. I've thought about this sort of thing once or twice, because I know several people who've changed their first name (some legally, some not). I haven't...

    That's an interesting set of questions. I've thought about this sort of thing once or twice, because I know several people who've changed their first name (some legally, some not).

    I haven't changed my name, and I don't think I ever will. It feels too familiar for me to let go of. (Hell, I can't even use a different screenname because I've grown so accustomed to this one and its associated nickname, "ela.") I've never disliked my name, I grew up with it, and it "matches" my gender.

    I'm all for the concept of name changes in general, though; it makes so many people happier. And the idea that your given name is inherently special is silly (to me). Maybe an (eventual) side-effect of the normalization of trans/nonbinary folks changing their names will be that some cis folks who are unhappy with theirs realize it's an option?

    1 vote
  7. meristele
    Link
    I changed my surname when I got married and didn't mind much. It was traditional and I got to swap ends of the alphabet. Then I got divorced. I kept the surname because we lived in a fairly...

    I changed my surname when I got married and didn't mind much. It was traditional and I got to swap ends of the alphabet. Then I got divorced. I kept the surname because we lived in a fairly conservative area, and I didn't want my kids to have to explain why the only parent in their lives had a different name. But they're post secondary education now and could care less.

    I would rather not have the surname now. I could care less about the $300 to change it. However the paper trail gets exponentially bigger with each name adjustment. I've had jobs that required extensive background checks. And I have performed said background checks. Every name change requires multiple additions to the number of checks. ;_;

    If I form a partnership in the future and it is important to said partner, I would consider changing again. To something. I won't promise to change it to the expected result. :3

    1 vote