Considering going back to school
I'm having a bit of a reckoning where I'm working a call center job, and when I like it, it's okay, and when I don't, it's a drag, but just recently my wrists have started to seriously act up and impact my work and life some, and my work insurance won't cover treatment. On a related note, Mom is willing to love and support bribe me back into going to school since I can go back on her insurance as long as I'm taking classes full time. Normally, I would respectfully decline because I'm prideful and petty, left school on academic probation 4 years ago after blowing off classes and am still nursing an underlying fear of failure and psychological hang-ups due to previous academic overextension. But I do have savings to fall back on, I am at a point where I can reasonably pivot, Mom will likely never let this one die, and my job causes me pain. So, what do?
From self experience as a high school screwup who got stuck in retail middle management:
Try to isolate what you enjoy in life? What are those things?
For me it was hiking, outdoors, exploring, computers, and seeing new places. At school I enjoyed science.
The next thing: what can you turn your hand to that includes these things? Google, Google, Google.
As an alternative, try this, it got me summed up pretty well: https://joboutlook.gov.au/careerquiz.aspx
Next: What school offers the sort of things you want?
If you are academically not the best you may do well to not aim for the largest and most well known of institutions. Do some research and then aim for a quality course in a smaller to medium institution. This will give you better access to staff and the student body will work better together to help each other through. Building your friends network will help here.
Progress from there. Smart people don't complete courses on smarts alone. All people who complete them do it because they put in the work required to pass. Do your assignments. Turn them in in time. Read the readings. Ask questions when you don't understand.
These days I have both a science and engineering degree behind me, a decade of professional experience, and love what I do. It beats the pants off retail.
You can do this! Set yourself up for success.
This is great advice and I very much agree with it!
Two things I wanted to add: firstly, don't worry too much if you can't come up with the perfect answer on what you enjoy or how you can use it, because you almost definitely won't; it's easy to get paralysed at that point and end up going nowhere. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good! You have your whole life to explore and move forward, so make small steps and know that your goal will change as you learn more, because that's what progress is all about - and progress itself is what matters more than anything.
Secondly, remember that there are multiple paths and that a degree is only one of them. It sounds like you already know that pride and fear are the wrong reasons to make a decision. The real trick is to put those aside and then consider whether formal education, apprenticeship, technical training, military service, entrepreneurship, or something else entirely is what suits you best. There's a huge amount of value in a degree, but also a huge amount of societal expectation that it's the "best" option when that isn't the case for everyone. Although it might still be for you!
It's a very difficult line to walk. You need to avoid making decisions just because they're expected and avoid rebelling against them for the same reason. You need to try to choose what works regardless of whether it's the easy, hard, scary, straightforward, or whatever else option. Ultimately, though, the best thing you can do is normally do something and see what happens!
This is a really great addition to what I wrote before. Thanks for adding on.
It's very true that no one path is right for everyone. It does place emphasis back on finding what you enjoy and seeing if you have options that will work with these things. That may be a trade, technical, degree, or otherwise.
The first couple of steps are always the hardest because the path can be scary. It's something new, and can be unclear, and theres pressure. Once you take those first few steps things will start to come together.
If I can give you a more unusual but still practical advice, you should view this opportunity to go back to school like an episode of Quantum Leap. You are just putting your life on pause while you try out another life.
It seems like you are afraid of failure. You shouldn't worry too much about failing. There is really very little consequence to failing a class; all you have to do is take the class a second time. Even if you drop out, you will be able to start up your old life again. And you will go with one more thing on your resume.
Above all else, you should be empowered because this is your choice. You are ultimately the captain in charge of your own life.
It sounds like there will never be a better time in your life to do this. You clearly have a safety net and are willing. Your previous academic experience was almost half a decade ago. Everyone I know who went back to school later in life after previous failures, excelled because they actually wanted it this time around. It sounds like you are ready to do it, you're just looking for the push.