15 votes

This is [my dead grandmother]’s special day!

11 comments

  1. [11]
    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link
    I've never thought about putting death days into my contacts. Idk.

    I've never thought about putting death days into my contacts.

    Idk.

    5 votes
    1. [10]
      Habituallytired
      Link Parent
      Me either, but as someone with a horrible memory for things like that (I couldn't tell you exactly when my great grandma or my beloved first dog passed away any more specifically than within two...

      Me either, but as someone with a horrible memory for things like that (I couldn't tell you exactly when my great grandma or my beloved first dog passed away any more specifically than within two weeks of each other on the calendar in August), and just a horrible memory for dates in general, this is a great idea and I have no idea why I didn't do this.

      2 votes
      1. [3]
        Baeocystin
        Link Parent
        It gets overwhelming as the # of death dates overtakes everything else. I eventually realized that I was only hurting myself by tracking these things and stopped, and feel a lot better for the...

        It gets overwhelming as the # of death dates overtakes everything else. I eventually realized that I was only hurting myself by tracking these things and stopped, and feel a lot better for the decision. I still celebrate the lost at times, but only organically, as it applies to the timing and my mood.

        YMMV, I'm not judging anyone who does different at all. Just sharing my experience as someone who has a long list of loss.

        8 votes
        1. Habituallytired
          Link Parent
          That's a good point. I, too, have a fairly long list of losses. Something definitely to consider.

          That's a good point. I, too, have a fairly long list of losses. Something definitely to consider.

          2 votes
        2. TonesTones
          Link Parent
          If someone wanted to remember the dates, they could always include the information on a card in their contacts without syncing it with a calendar. Personally, I definitely don’t want to be...

          If someone wanted to remember the dates, they could always include the information on a card in their contacts without syncing it with a calendar.

          Personally, I definitely don’t want to be reminded of death anniversaries, but it might be useful for records.

          Lightning Edit: It occurred to me upon actually reading the post that my calendar/contacts app (BusyCal/BusyContacts) may be smarter than most apps using CalDAV or CardDAV. Always possible to add plain notes to contacts without making them date fields in case those sync like described in the post.

          2 votes
      2. [6]
        DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        Apparently it'll tell you to celebrate your grandmother's death day so use with a grain of salt I guess.

        Apparently it'll tell you to celebrate your grandmother's death day so use with a grain of salt I guess.

        4 votes
        1. [5]
          Habituallytired
          Link Parent
          I mean, I celebrate her all the time by talking about her, and proudly displaying the handwritten notebook she used as a personal cookbook. I can't read it, but I have long wanted someone to...

          I mean, I celebrate her all the time by talking about her, and proudly displaying the handwritten notebook she used as a personal cookbook. I can't read it, but I have long wanted someone to translate it for me, so I can make her recipes.

          I think celebrating the dead is a really great way to remember them, as a way of mourning their loss.

          3 votes
          1. [2]
            DefinitelyNotAFae
            Link Parent
            Oh I absolutely understand that perspective. I would just find Google suggesting it to me weird. At the same time, I wouldn't track the date because of how I compartmentalize life, so yeah.

            Oh I absolutely understand that perspective. I would just find Google suggesting it to me weird. At the same time, I wouldn't track the date because of how I compartmentalize life, so yeah.

            3 votes
            1. Habituallytired
              Link Parent
              That's a totally reasonable and understandable reason to not want to do it and to find it weird. I get it completely!

              That's a totally reasonable and understandable reason to not want to do it and to find it weird. I get it completely!

              1 vote