Arshan's recent activity
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Comment on Coming to terms with my coming to terms with post in ~talk
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Coming to terms with my coming to terms with post
I've posted about my mental health issues on Tildes before, 1st post 2nd post. I reread my other 2 posts before writing this, and I definitely cringed a bit at them. I was not doing good and did...
I've posted about my mental health issues on Tildes before, 1st post 2nd post.
I reread my other 2 posts before writing this, and I definitely cringed a bit at them. I was not doing good and did not have a real sense of what to include and not. However, I really needed to feel seen and heard, so I also don't regret either of them. I didn't have anyone to open up to in my real life.
I've gotten a much better understanding of what I went through as a kid over the past year. My sister physically and emotional abused me since before I can remember until she left for college, and my parents always ignored it. That's fucked up, and there's nothing wrong with me for being so damaged because of it.
I moved to Portland, and it was definitely the right choose. I can't imagine living in the suburbs again. I went to my first concert, I got my first tattoo. I tried weed for the first time, and it really helps me gain emotional clarity. For first time in my life, I have some real hope for my future.
As the final note, I'd like to thank all the nice people here again; you really did help a scared, lonely kid more then you think.
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Comment on Poland and the Jews. It’s complicated. in ~humanities
Arshan LinkI've been fascinated by the history of Polish and Jewish peoples for a while, partly from my Polish heritage and partly because it is so messy and complicated. Yes, there is and has been...I've been fascinated by the history of Polish and Jewish peoples for a while, partly from my Polish heritage and partly because it is so messy and complicated. Yes, there is and has been deep-seated antisemitism within Polish culture, but that is also true for every European country. Yes, the majority of Poles stood by and did nothing to help their Jewish neighbors in the holocaust, but neither did the French or Italian or other European peoples. The history of Poland is inextricably linked to the Jewish people, and I think that is a beautiful, if often sad, thing.
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Comment on America's highest earners and their tax rates revealed in ~finance
Arshan Link ParentI understand your point, but I imagine that those individuals value their privacy a lot and are extremely willing to cause serious damage to ProPublica. They also clearly have the resources to...I understand your point, but I imagine that those individuals value their privacy a lot and are extremely willing to cause serious damage to ProPublica. They also clearly have the resources to cause significant problems for them.
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Comment on Daily megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - February 24 in ~news
Arshan Link ParentI believe that we are talking across each other. I used those as particular examples to challenge the narrative that Putin's main objective is the decapitation of the Ukrainian government. I also...I believe that we are talking across each other. I used those as particular examples to challenge the narrative that Putin's main objective is the decapitation of the Ukrainian government. I also implicitly assumed it would be a staged as coming from some other group, not Putin taking credit for it. I was not making a claim that it would have had better or worse consquences, but that it would have been much more likely to succeed if Putin's objective is solely the killing of Ukrainian leaders.
My main point in this thread is to push back against the narrative that we, not Putin or one of his best buds, know his objective. A full invasion is very very rarely the best method to get what you want in a real politik sense, which I feel comfortable assuming Putin knows. And yet he chose it; I am confused on why wherever I talk about this people act like I am crazy. Putin is a monster, but he isn't a moron who would just start a war he could very well lose without a clear reason why.
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Comment on Daily megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - February 24 in ~news
Arshan Link ParentA war with potentially no Russian casualties, which I assume Putin values at least in some way. It was also made to elucidate my point that Putin has many options, and yet he chose something far...A war with potentially no Russian casualties, which I assume Putin values at least in some way. It was also made to elucidate my point that Putin has many options, and yet he chose something far closer to a traditional invasion.
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Comment on Daily megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - February 24 in ~news
Arshan Link ParentI understand where we disagree now; I do not claim to know Putin's plan. I don't doubt Putin would have loved a 1 day war, but I doubt that was his plan. If so, why the obvious buildup, why not...I understand where we disagree now; I do not claim to know Putin's plan. I don't doubt Putin would have loved a 1 day war, but I doubt that was his plan. If so, why the obvious buildup, why not assassainte the Ukranian president or missile strike their Parliament? Putin had many options and he choose one of the most risky for him. Maybe he is losing it in his old age, but if he isn't then its valuable to understand his plan.
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Comment on Daily megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - February 24 in ~news
Arshan Link ParentI completely agree that it is very, very early; nothing that is happening right means one side will win or lose. I would be happy to be proven wrong, but like I said I do not look at much of the...I completely agree that it is very, very early; nothing that is happening right means one side will win or lose.
Where are you looking? I struggle to believe this is a claim made in good faith.
I would be happy to be proven wrong, but like I said I do not look at much of the western media on this. Most of my information comes from geopolitics forums and various OSINT sites/people. I also didn't mean it as 'The Ukrainians are losing every battle, and the Russians are winning every battle'; I meant there was no clearly defined success for the Ukrainians.
In my opinion the longer this goes on the more unwinnable this becomes for Russia. If they are forced into a position of using overwhelming force in cities, the situation becomes unwinnable for them.
The long term entirely depends on foreign support for Ukraine; it is not in the same ballpark as Russia in really any metric. Long wars are wars that are fought from productive capabilities, all of which Russia is superior to Ukraine. However, with even moderate foreign aid, Ukraine balances it fairly quickly. As well in long wars, its not about one side winning, its about which side loses more.
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Comment on Daily megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - February 24 in ~news
Arshan Link ParentMy point was on particular claims and on how each side is claiming the war is going, not on the fundamental ability to get a general idea which side is doing better than the other. I've yet to see...I don't see how you can make that statement given everything else you've said.
My point was on particular claims and on how each side is claiming the war is going, not on the fundamental ability to get a general idea which side is doing better than the other. I've yet to see particular evidence of a single Ukrainian victory, even by the Ukrainian government. The closest I've seen is the Last Stand on Snake Island; if your best propaganda is noble total defeat, it doesn't exactly inspire much confidence. There is some evidence that the Ukrainians are having some success in defending cities, but there is also little evidence that they were the immediate targets of the Russian military. My claim is also based on HOW positive the Ukrainian military and Western governments are; given the information that the Ukrainian military claims is true, they are at best losing slower than Putin thought. The Ukrainian government has said on multiple occasions something to the effect of "We have guns, please anyone take them and fight". None of these things give me any reason to believe Ukraine is winning.
For the suing for peace, I saw this article. Not exactly the same connotation, but still
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Comment on Daily megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - February 24 in ~news
Arshan Link ParentFirst, thanks for the linking tip; I couldn't figure that out. Two, at the time of my posting, there was 1 independently verified instance of a Russian tank being destroyed. To be explicit, there...First, thanks for the linking tip; I couldn't figure that out.
Two, at the time of my posting, there was 1 independently verified instance of a Russian tank being destroyed. To be explicit, there are many more Russian armored vehicles destroyed, but not tanks. The Ukrainian miltary is claiming up to 80 tanks destroyed. My point was to exhibit the difference between what the Ukrainian military is claiming and the publically availible evidence. In a world with the modern cell phone and social media, there would be much more evidence than what exists.
And the reason that I used that site is that I do not trust traditional news outlets to have up to date information. I am not saying that they will make malicious mistakes (some sure, but not most), but that their organizational structure prevents them from being reliable sources. CNN is quoting the Ukrainian military and explictly stating they cannot independently verify any claims. All 'normal' Western media I have seen are quoting the Ukrainian military, usually with caveats. To get actually up to date information, you must use more OSINT focused sites.
The reasons I used LostArmor were photos of every incident were included, it existed well before the invasion and it has a nice search/filtering interface. As of this posting, there is some evidence that a 2nd Russian tank was destroyed.I have not verified all information about the people running the site, however it is not making outlandish claims without evidence.
Third, the Nytimes article you included has many issues that I would to point out as an example of what I was talking about. The article quotes Britain's Defense Secretary, who makes 3 particular claims. Firstly, that a key airport north of Kyiv was in Ukrainian control. While the article does not give the name of the 'key airport north of Kyiv', I assume they mean Hostomel'. There is an already famous clip from CNN of a reporter happening upon Russian Paratroopers having already captured the airport. A US military think tank includes a decent map that makes broadly credible claims.
Secondly, he claims ~450 Russian casualties. Even vaguely accurate casualty counts only happen after a war is finished, and even then they can have massive resonable variations. As of my posting, the Ukrainian military claims 2800 Russian casualities. To be blunt, that is absurd; as an example that might help Americans, The Second Battle of Fallujah was the bloodiest battle in the Iraj war for the USA. It went on for about a month and a half, and there were ~100 US casualties. And yes, the power differential between Ukraine and Russia is less than Iraq and the USA; it is no where near that much of a difference. I could not find a total number of Russian casualities from the Russian government; I've seen claims of 0 casualties (almost certainly bullshit) for particular operations, but no total claim.
Thirdly, he claims that the Russians and Rebels have not broken through Donbass. At best this is technically correct, but extremely misleading. Yes, the Russian military is not advanding through Donbass, they are advancing in many other areas. I will be clear, this is the area I am most fuzzy on; it appears to be true, but used in a way to make the reader think it matters. It is more likely that the Russians were not trying to break through there, but hold those troops down while the rest of the Russian military invades elsewhere. Either way, the Russian military is advancing in many areas and them not advancing in one particular region is not necessarily a big deal.
This reply is way longer than I expected, but I wanted to have something to point to when I see some questionable claims by the Western/Ukrainian side. There is some hope that Ukraine won't completely lose to Russia. However, bald-face lies do not help the Ukrainian people; all evidence is that they are losing and losing quite badly AT THE MOMENT. Hopefully, the war will be over quickly and with the best possible outcome for the Ukrainian people. While I was finishing this up it appears that the Ukrainian president is actively trying to sue for peace.
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Comment on Daily megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - February 24 in ~news
Arshan LinkI'd also like to warn against trusting the Ukrainian media; I suspect most here know better than to blindly trust the Russian media, but the Ukrainian media will be much worse for at least the...I'd also like to warn against trusting the Ukrainian media; I suspect most here know better than to blindly trust the Russian media, but the Ukrainian media will be much worse for at least the immediate future. Most evidence is that FOR RIGHT NOW the Ukrainian military is losing quite badly. The Ukrainian government has every incentive to lie and will face very few immediate repercussions for it. As an example, the Ukrainian Army is claiming to have destroyed 30 Russian tanks; as of 8:30 PM PST on the 24th, there is 1 independently verified destroyed Russian tank. Be very wary of misinformation, even and especially from the side you support.
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Comment on Daily megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - February 24 in ~news
Arshan LinkFor those wishing for very up-to-date and generally reliable information, I highly recommend This Forum thread and LiveUAmap. The forum is used by a lot of people in or adjacent to various...For those wishing for very up-to-date and generally reliable information, I highly recommend This Forum thread and LiveUAmap. The forum is used by a lot of people in or adjacent to various militaries around the world. LiveUAmap aggregates information from a lot of sources, as well as providing a geographic context for the information. LiveUAmap is having server issues, probably not surprisingly.
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Comment on What are your favorite Linux distributions to use for gaming and as a daily driver, and why? in ~comp
Arshan Link ParentNixos is my 2nd most used distro, after Arch. It definitely has a lot of cool unique features. I really hope [Nix GUI] (https://github.com/nix-gui/nix-gui) takes off, since it could really make...Nixos is my 2nd most used distro, after Arch. It definitely has a lot of cool unique features. I really hope [Nix GUI] (https://github.com/nix-gui/nix-gui) takes off, since it could really make Linux easy for a noob to use. I've switched over my laptop to Nixos to try out Ephemeral Root. In short, it rebuilds your system from "scratch" (its more like composes a new system) at every boot. You mark a few files and directories as permanent, but other than that your running a clean system after every boot. So far, its really nice clean and also makes for very snappy performance. I like that it makes me very intentional on where I store stuff, because I have a bad habit just putting files in random places. I will say I don't get Nix the language. I can't parse it as either a config language or a programming language, probably because it is kinda both.
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Comment on What is your favorite game you'll never finish? in ~games
Arshan Link ParentI've considered playing it from the beginning again, because I completely forgot a lot of the details of the great story. And I want to talk to my lizard brain some more. (⌒▽⌒)♡I've considered playing it from the beginning again, because I completely forgot a lot of the details of the great story. And I want to talk to my lizard brain some more. (⌒▽⌒)♡
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Comment on What is your favorite game you'll never finish? in ~games
Arshan Link ParentIts not that the fight is so hard that I can't beat it, it was just tedious enough that I didn't want to. I probably will go back to it though.Its not that the fight is so hard that I can't beat it, it was just tedious enough that I didn't want to. I probably will go back to it though.
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Comment on What is your favorite game you'll never finish? in ~games
Arshan LinkDivinity Original Sin 2 and Disco Elysium. For DOS2, its becuase I need to beat an annoying boss to level up before the final boss. For Disco, I just straight up don't know how. I am almost...Divinity Original Sin 2 and Disco Elysium. For DOS2, its becuase I need to beat an annoying boss to level up before the final boss. For Disco, I just straight up don't know how. I am almost finished, but I have no idea where the next event is.
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Comment on Six months after lifelong depression in ~talk
Arshan Link ParentYou didn't come off as pushy. Philosophical Daoism has been a big part of my recovery, so I am quite focused on seperating what "I" want vs what I want. I can relate to simply feeling different...You didn't come off as pushy. Philosophical Daoism has been a big part of my recovery, so I am quite focused on seperating what "I" want vs what I want.
I can relate to simply feeling different from 'normal' people at a fundamental level. I have a hard time not getting angry at people who take human connection and having a feeling of home for granted. And yeah even when I try and imagine growing up in a good home, I just don't know what it would actually be like.
Either way, I appreciate all your kind words and wish you the best on the long road of living. ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ
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Comment on Six months after lifelong depression in ~talk
Arshan Link ParentI wanted to take I bit to clarify my thoughts on your comment. There's a bit of 'yes, but also no' in my response. So yes, I have felt a need to have my mental health issues explicitly...I wanted to take I bit to clarify my thoughts on your comment. There's a bit of 'yes, but also no' in my response.
So yes, I have felt a need to have my mental health issues explicitly acknowledged and at least generally understood. The main reason being that it never was, so I always felt like I was being gaslighted. People always stated that I seemed happy or fun, even though I felt nothing. I also never had a 'happy' frame of reference, so now that I do, how bad off I was really stands out.
I agree that I am going to need to let go of my mental health issues as part of me and my identity. And they have been dimming down quite a bit over the last 2 months or so. But I still feel a need to not rush it, that this is a part of my mourning process for all the time I have lost. So I guess I would say I trust myself to reach that point in my own time.
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Comment on Six months after lifelong depression in ~talk
Arshan Link ParentOh, it is wild how much better I am now. I can actual feel like I have a connection with someone, even if it isn't super deep. Its just by being in a much better place I can now understand how bad...To acknowledge the brighter side, given how I interpret your posts, to me, it sounds like you're doing better than the previous post.
Oh, it is wild how much better I am now. I can actual feel like I have a connection with someone, even if it isn't super deep. Its just by being in a much better place I can now understand how bad off I was for most of my life.
Seeing that you have heard little-to-nothing about dysfunctional families and/or complex ptsd from your dialoge with @NoblePath, I'm going to go out on a limb here and ask, since you've been in this depression you describe as life-long, have you made any headway or steps with speaking with a mental health professional? If so, maybe bring these terms up and ask what treatment looks like. That may have been obvious though. If it is, I'm sorry for being a smart-*ss.
I looked into a therapist a few months back, but something was holding me back. I am starting to look for a therapist in Portland. I've personally always been a bit wary of therapy, not because I don't think it could greatly help me, I am sure it could, but that a bad therapist IN THE PAST could have been very extremely bad for me. My father was a psychologist, and someone of my worst memories are of him ruthlessly making fun of his patients.
Something that has helped me was going to a mental health support group. It's nice to have a non-judgmental space where people typically describe how they are feeling pretty accurately. And you won't have any of those "what didn't kill me makes me stronger" talk.
I'll admit not to have seriously considered this. It just never crossed my mind, and now it sounds like a good idea. Thanks :)
And, maybe some reassurance from the other side. Although your experience with depression has been life-long, your life, although to you has been the longest thing you've experienced, isn't so long if you think about it from a macroscopic POV (or just, not your POV). If you live in the states (given that you're moving to Portland, OR - nice bro, super jelly - I'm going to assume you live in another state in the US), typically you are under your parent(s) responsibility until 18, so, if you think about it, you've only been truly on your own for approximately 5-6 years. Life-long depression is excruciating, the caveat, you should (again, given the typical/ average life-span of males in the US) have a lot more life to live and what is under your control has been minimal for now, and, again, given from your last post, you are on the right track and have grown so much in so little time. Hang in there bro. See your potential. Sometimes that means uprooting some of the past and saying "I don't need this anymore, it served me as a child to, for example, stay quiet/ hold my tongue because my main caretaker would be in jeopardy if I didn't, but now I'm my main caretaker, so I no longer need to hold my tongue if it doesn't suit me". That will take a lot of reflection to uproot some of those things. Focus on your potential.
I don't have any particular response, but I generally appreciate the sentiment. And yeah, I live just outside of Kansas City now.
Oh, and I wanted to add, there is so much content out there to feel not so alone in your feelings. I recommend BTS. Pink Floyd is also cool. Many artists have spent their time and effort trying to describe their battle with mental health.
I've enjoyed the BTS music I've heard, but never consciously listened to Pink Floyd, so that will go in the watchlist.
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Comment on Six months after lifelong depression in ~talk
Arshan (edited )Link ParentI haven't heard of the first one, and I only know a little about the second. With a little bit of looking, it does seem pretty accurate to my experience. Edit: Well, complex PTSD seems to be very...I haven't heard of the first one, and I only know a little about the second. With a little bit of looking, it does seem pretty accurate to my experience.
Edit:
Well, complex PTSD seems to be very accurate to my experience, in particular with some of the more 'weird/abnormal' parts of my mental health issues. Not considering yourself human is something I've done for years; I've always sided with AI in fiction over humans. In one of the articles I read about C-PTSD, it even used a phrase I have said verbatim many times; 'I don't know HOW to have a relationship'.It also makes sense to me that my issues weren't simply depression. Yes, depression was a very big part of it, but by no means the whole picture. So thanks for the comment that really makes it seem that my issues could better be described by C-PTSD.
No need to apologize. I am curious on how it resonated with you, especially since you come from very different circumstances. No pressure or anything, I just find it interesting to hear about other people's stories.