Arshan's recent activity
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Comment on Are you tech-savvy enough? in ~tech
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Comment on Are you tech-savvy enough? in ~tech
Arshan Link ParentNo? I don't care what OS a random person uses, but I do care about bad-faith representations of a thing I like and this post felt bad-faith to me. It claims that Linux breaks frequently after...No? I don't care what OS a random person uses, but I do care about bad-faith representations of a thing I like and this post felt bad-faith to me. It claims that Linux breaks frequently after updates, which is a factual argument I disagree with. Personally, the conflation with Desktop Linux and Android is what convinced me that they weren't writing in good faith, because they have close to nothing in common for the end-user.
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Comment on Are you tech-savvy enough? in ~tech
Arshan LinkIs this marketing for Apple, or Linux-nerd rage-bait? Because it feels like it could be either. Feels like a literal marketing line. Its also comparing Android with desktop Linux, which while...Is this marketing for Apple, or Linux-nerd rage-bait? Because it feels like it could be either.
It’s great that Linux and Android exist, but I would never run them on my main devices that I use for actual work.
Feels like a literal marketing line. Its also comparing Android with desktop Linux, which while sharing a kernel, functionally have nothing else in common. Its fine to try Linux and realize you don't like it, but no every update is not Russian Roulette, like what do you mean? I've had an update "break" my Linux install once over 10 years (it was Arch adding systemd-homed).
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Comment on Best "complete" anime you'd recommend? in ~anime
Arshan LinkTwo of my favorite less popular anime fit into this category. Astra Lost in Space Sound of the SkyTwo of my favorite less popular anime fit into this category.
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Comment on Why aren't we talking about the real reason male college enrollment is dropping? in ~life.men
Arshan Link ParentAh, I misinterpreted that then! I don't really have a general answer, because I think it heavily depends on all the particulars of the situation, but I'll try. I think the most likely person to...I'm actually really comfortable with my strategies and boundaries regarding learning from and potentially changing minds of people in general, thank you!
Ah, I misinterpreted that then!
How would you discuss toxic masculinity without 1) being so long winded as to tune people out, 2) being confusing, 3) upsetting people who would be upset by the phrase "toxic masculinity" or 4) just using the phrase?
I don't really have a general answer, because I think it heavily depends on all the particulars of the situation, but I'll try. I think the most likely person to fit the venn diagram of significantly bothered by the term 'Toxic Masculinity' and similar progressive jargon but are open to an actual conversation about the root issues would be centrists who consume some right-wing media. If they are more of the academic type, I would talk about the etymology of the term, i.e. it comes from the mythopoetic men's movement from the 1980s that was explicitly centered on the harm this socialization caused men themselves not other people. If they are just parroting talking points, I would try and bring up something that is rooted in Toxic Masculinity but isn't in the popular right-wing zeitgeist; personally I'd talk about conscription in the Ukraine. I guess my point is that you try and have a conversation about the effects of Toxic Masculinity, not simply the term itself.
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Comment on Why aren't we talking about the real reason male college enrollment is dropping? in ~life.men
Arshan Link ParentWell, I have a lot of opinions about changing people's minds, but most are about how incredibly difficult and slow it is. First, you're not going to change the mind of someone who isn't at least a...Well, I have a lot of opinions about changing people's minds, but most are about how incredibly difficult and slow it is. First, you're not going to change the mind of someone who isn't at least a little open to it. What would it take for you to change your opinion on a deeply held belief? I assume it would be a lot or impossible, almost certainly not a single or even a hundred conversations. The same is true for them; they believe as truly and sincerely as you, regardless of the content of that belief.
For more positive suggestions, you need to find a point on which you both agree and work your way from there. Listening to them first, and I mean actually listening, will get you good will from most people, and if it doesn't, it can quickly show that trying is a waste of your time. People hate to be preached at, so make sure you ask them questions without being accusatory or trying to setup intellectual traps. Just being kind to them will do more for whatever your trying to convince them of then any intellectual argument; people internalize random kindness far more then random arguments.
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Comment on Why aren't we talking about the real reason male college enrollment is dropping? in ~life.men
Arshan Link ParentBut doesn't the fact that it produces incalculable anger mean its not a useful term? If you know it is a landmine, why not avoid the term and talk about the concepts more directly? If the...But doesn't the fact that it produces incalculable anger mean its not a useful term? If you know it is a landmine, why not avoid the term and talk about the concepts more directly? If the difference between someone hearing you out or not is whether or not you use a loaded term, why use it? I am not trying ro be antagonistic, but I just don't understand the thought process.
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Comment on Why aren't we talking about the real reason male college enrollment is dropping? in ~life.men
Arshan LinkI have a hard time with the male flight example because it seems to ignore the transition from 50/50 gender balance. Sure, I can understand someone being intimidated by a classroom that is 90% the...I have a hard time with the male flight example because it seems to ignore the transition from 50/50 gender balance. Sure, I can understand someone being intimidated by a classroom that is 90% the opposite gender; I'd personally be surprised if that was the primary source of this effect, but I can understand it to a degree. But a 50/50 to 60/40 split is something that I don't think I could notice, like what kind of person is so quick to parse the gender balance of a room with like 30 or more people? And then they change long-term plans because there was 6 more people of the opposite gender then their own? I guess its possible, but that Millions of men are doing this as their primary reason? That's a big statement that I don't see backed up with enough evidence. Personally, I don't think there is a single CAUSE for the gender imbalance, but most likely a loose collection of social and economic factors.
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Comment on Valve is possibly making a Steam Controller 2 and a ‘Roy’ for its Deckard in ~games
Arshan LinkMy Steam Controller is having joystick problems and I use it instead of a mouse, so I've been kinda worried. I really hope this is real and that its comparable to the preexisting one.My Steam Controller is having joystick problems and I use it instead of a mouse, so I've been kinda worried. I really hope this is real and that its comparable to the preexisting one.
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Comment on Paper: Feminism in Programming Language Design in ~comp
Arshan Link ParentI feel like we are talking across each other a bit. I am not saying I can't identify with any particular feminism or feminist, but that I don't feel included in an abstract and unspecific...I feel like we are talking across each other a bit. I am not saying I can't identify with any particular feminism or feminist, but that I don't feel included in an abstract and unspecific Feminism™ or in many feminist dialogues. I agree that 4th-wave feminism is MORE inclusive then earlier iterations, but not that its inclusive enough for me to feel actually safe and welcome.
It still minimizes the harm and extent of both female perpetrators and male victims, which is a lot of my personal experience. I think my main point is that 4th-wave feminism uses a lot of anarchist language, while not adopting the underlying principles, or at least that is my concern. I will try to critical engage with this opinion and not take it as fact. -
Comment on Paper: Feminism in Programming Language Design in ~comp
Arshan Link ParentOkay, I will. I'd appreciate you doing the same. I dislike the biggest-tent feminism that the paper pretty explicitly argues for, because I don't believe I am actual welcome as a fully equal...Okay, I will. I'd appreciate you doing the same. I dislike the biggest-tent feminism that the paper pretty explicitly argues for, because I don't believe I am actual welcome as a fully equal member. Maybe that's because I have unexamined biases around feminism, but it might also be that I am not welcome. I'll try to spend sometime considering it.
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Comment on Paper: Feminism in Programming Language Design in ~comp
Arshan Link ParentYes, but only if the ideas actually retain the core values and aren't white-washed to oblivion. Anarchism has few core concepts, but they are all necessary, they are interwoven into the whole. One...Yes, but only if the ideas actually retain the core values and aren't white-washed to oblivion. Anarchism has few core concepts, but they are all necessary, they are interwoven into the whole. One is anti-capitalism; of course some feminists and some feminisms are anti-capitalist, but I don't believe feminism is as a whole can be described that way. The other core tenet is an absolute rejection of hierarchies, not a thinking there in bad taste, but fundamentally wrong. Again not a necessary tenet of feminism.
I used the a word appropriating because that's the feeling I get from this paper and similar works. Now, I will note that is feeling that I've had for a while, so I do believe that colored my interpretation of the paper. And I admit its mostly a feeling, but I also can't think of a better word or way to describe it. I really tried here, but nothing else worked. It simply feels like appropriation to me.
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Comment on Paper: Feminism in Programming Language Design in ~comp
Arshan Link ParentI don't disagree, but I was more talking about what would have made the paper better for me. I am by no means an expert on all the main branches of feminist theory, but I know enough to not need...I don't disagree, but I was more talking about what would have made the paper better for me. I am by no means an expert on all the main branches of feminist theory, but I know enough to not need the intro. I'd just have preferred they went into more depth with that time and space.
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Comment on Paper: Feminism in Programming Language Design in ~comp
Arshan LinkI think the paper's biggest problem is that its way to broad and shallow. It mentions a lot of things, like pretty much all programming languages being in English and the "hard is good" mentality,...I think the paper's biggest problem is that its way to broad and shallow. It mentions a lot of things, like pretty much all programming languages being in English and the "hard is good" mentality, that I think are solid points, but just kinda mentions them and breezes on to other topics. Also, the preamble about feminism takes up a big chunk of the paper; I'd have preferred that they just assume a basic level of knowledge and/or provide references for those who need it.
I do want to nit-pick the origin of the quote 'No one is free until everyone is free'. The authors quote a speech by Fannie Lou Hamer in the 1970s, but I'm pretty much certain it's a paraphrasing of a much older quote by the anarchist Mikhail Bakunin in the 1870s. Honestly, a lot of modern, 4th-wave feminism feels like watered-down and appropriated anarchism to me.
I am truly free only when all human beings, men and women, are equally free. The freedom of other men, far from negating or limiting my freedom, is, on the contrary, its necessary premise and confirmation.
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Comment on Thoughts on the friendzone in ~life
Arshan LinkI can come at this from a man "friend-zoning" women. Now, I had no idea at the time, because I had 0 self-esteem and sense of self-worth, so this is all looking back. One sexually harassed me;...I can come at this from a man "friend-zoning" women. Now, I had no idea at the time, because I had 0 self-esteem and sense of self-worth, so this is all looking back.
One sexually harassed me;
One probably did something(s) to keep other people away from me; I don't have concrete proof, but enough hints and weird things to be pretty certain. And 2 that were emotional wrecks that forced me into a pseudo-therapist role with no mutual support from them; they were also uncomfortably possessive for a friendship.details
offered me a soda if she could sit on my lap, grabbed my ass in a hug and very intentionally walked in on me changing.On a positive note, I had one woman who was perfectly nice and respectful. Nothing came of it, but it is nice to have some point of reference for decent treatment. Same with the one gay guy that showed any interest in me.
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Comment on Has anyone ever used NixOS as daily-drive distro? in ~tech
Arshan LinkI've used it on my main desktop and laptop for ~5 years. Pros: Real easy to try things out; (Comma)[https://github.com/nix-community/comma] lets you just type , <package> in your shell to run a...I've used it on my main desktop and laptop for ~5 years.
Pros:- Real easy to try things out; (Comma)[https://github.com/nix-community/comma] lets you just type
, <package>in your shell to run a package - Generally very up-to-date packages with a massive range of packages
- One config for everything
- Very easy to configure multiple computers to be identical or different as you need
Cons: - If you go off the happy path, you're really on your own. This is true for most Linux distros, but with Nixos you get an additional weirdness point.
- The Nix language is kinda weird, and I don't mean as a pure functional language. My brain separates config languages and programming languages into different categories and nix the language is a fusion of them.
- The project itself is in a odd state with flakes and theirs been some kerfuffles with maintainers. I don't know details just that theirs been some conflict.
- Related to the above, nix flakes have been in experimental for years and I don't think their coming out soon.
I've used it daily and I honestly don't have many serious critiques with the tech.
- Real easy to try things out; (Comma)[https://github.com/nix-community/comma] lets you just type
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (June 2024) in ~health.mental
Arshan LinkI feel stuck. I'm unemployed, but I can't seem to start working towards anything. That means I have to either take money from my parents or be homeless; so far, I've been taking the money, which I...I feel stuck. I'm unemployed, but I can't seem to start working towards anything. That means I have to either take money from my parents or be homeless; so far, I've been taking the money, which I really hate. I feel like a big part of why I hate it so much is because its clearly a privilege, but its terrible for my mental health. It pushes my back to being the scared kid who needs to depend on people he doesn't trust or like.
I've been realizing I don't really know what a good life for me even means, what I even want. All I know is trying to get a point where its possible, and I think its possible now, but I just don't know anything specific.
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Comment on Weighing in on "Man or Bear" - from a woman that left society to the Alaskan wilderness in ~life.women
Arshan Link ParentI'd say I'm mixed on your first point; most of the stuff that happened is more emotional abuse stuff, especially as an adult, not severe physical injury. I am worried about moderate violence, i.e....I'd say I'm mixed on your first point; most of the stuff that happened is more emotional abuse stuff, especially as an adult, not severe physical injury. I am worried about moderate violence, i.e. punches, slaps and the like.
The mixed part is related to physical violence when I was a child.
My older sister was quite violent towards me. She suffocated me to the point of blacking out on more then a few occasions. Apparently, when I was very young, she tried to hit me over the head with a brick; the only reason I have any knowledge is because my parents' thought it was funny/cute story to retell. My point being some women can still have relative power over some men, not all men are stronger then all women.I imagine my stronger association with being the victim is because I am very weak guy, so I get it. I am really not trying to say that men aren't violent and scary, trust me I've been scared of a big, threatening guy. My point is that this conversation isn't owned by the male-perpetrator and female-victim perspective, that its one of many.
I do also just want to say I am sorry you feel so unsafe, I hope you have people you feel comfortable with.
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Comment on Weighing in on "Man or Bear" - from a woman that left society to the Alaskan wilderness in ~life.women
Arshan Link ParentI want to be very clear, I am not saying that women are incapable of understanding that men can feel unsafe in the abstract. I am saying in my personal experience many women don't seem to be...I want to be very clear, I am not saying that women are incapable of understanding that men can feel unsafe in the abstract. I am saying in my personal experience many women don't seem to be socialized to consider how their specific actions might make men feel unsafe. It is an argument from solidarity; I am saying I agree with the point, I'd pick the bear over a random person.
I have and will continue to start similar conversations from a more gender open perspective, but I am not trying to talk over anyone. I am simply trying to add to it.
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Comment on Weighing in on "Man or Bear" - from a woman that left society to the Alaskan wilderness in ~life.women
Arshan LinkDo women genuinely not realize that men can feel the same way about women? That's not a rhetorical question; from my personal experience, few women consider the idea that they might make me, a...Do women genuinely not realize that men can feel the same way about women? That's not a rhetorical question; from my personal experience, few women consider the idea that they might make me, a man, feel unsafe. Clearly, I can't read their minds, but none of their actions or words suggest or hint at the internal concern. They don't take small complaints or worries seriously to show that they can handle the big stuff as well. They don't ask any questions to show that actually want to know me, but are inversely certain they know me, truly understand me, without a single step of effort. Don't they know you need to make someone feel safe before you try and make them like you? But my personal experience is generally odd, so I feel wary to, well, generalize from it.
It didn't cross my mind that they could have meant it like that, but that's a fair reading. I have always kept my installs pretty up to date, so that could play into it.