DialecticCake's recent activity
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Comment on ADHD productivity fundamentals in ~health.mental
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Comment on Tildes Book Club - We will be discussing Piranesi the third week in April in ~books
DialecticCake LinkNice. I couldn't get through Cloud Atlas...but I just started and finished reading Piranesi today.Nice. I couldn't get through Cloud Atlas...but I just started and finished reading Piranesi today.
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Comment on Tildes Book Club check in Feb 8 2024 - How are things going? in ~books
DialecticCake LinkI just picked up Cloud Atlas at the library so will start reading that. Please add me to the list of people interested in this book club. :)I just picked up Cloud Atlas at the library so will start reading that. Please add me to the list of people interested in this book club. :)
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~life.men
DialecticCake LinkI just want to add that although only mothers can breastfeed, I had difficulty getting a latch and so my husband equally fed our child pumped milk using our thumbs with a small tube attached as...I just want to add that although only mothers can breastfeed, I had difficulty getting a latch and so my husband equally fed our child pumped milk using our thumbs with a small tube attached as our midwife suggested. And after a few visits from our midwife, it was my husband who first got our child to latch to my breast, not me. <3
He also took the first couple of years off of work to be with our child and he had to endure the confusion of people thinking it was odd for him to want to spend time with his child. For example, one of his male coworkers had the opposite view and said that he purposely worked overtime as being at work was a vacation from being at home dealing with a crying baby.
This was all over a decade ago and I am thankful that gender norms are changing (e.g., we have parental leave and not just maternity leave now), but of course we have a long way to go. I appreciate you sharing your experiences and perspective.
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Comment on Euthanizing my old friend. When is the right moment? in ~life.pets
DialecticCake LinkIn case this is too long, here's the main information up front. Euthanasia, Loss, and Grief of a Companion Cat - Kitten Lady where she explains how she made the decision. Maybe only watch the part...In case this is too long, here's the main information up front.
Euthanasia, Loss, and Grief of a Companion Cat - Kitten Lady where she explains how she made the decision. Maybe only watch the part where she explains the decision (her video has time stamps) -- I wasn't able to watch the entire video due to my crying too much.When to put a dog down
Inability to walk is #3 on the list.
I was watching KittenLady's video the other day and she said anyone she has talked to has regrets about waiting too long and none for doing it too soon. I'm recommending her video with the caveat that I could only get through about half of it due to crying... but she explained how she made her decision and that may help you.
For her, it was about writing down the positive things worth living on one side, and the things that were negatives on the other side and treating death as a zero. She decided that as soon as the 'balance' was negative (so more negatives than positives) it was time. Also, she wanted to choose versus have it chosen for her and have her companion still feeling mostly well and not afraid or in a lot of pain.
In short she wanted to avoid what I did -- which was wait too long, then one morning find my cat stuck to the side of my child's bed, arms splayed to each side, with claws stuck, and head hanging in between. I was horrified thinking she had died like that...and then even more horrified when I realized she was still alive and suffering. I had waited too long and that will haunt me forever.
From my vet's perspective -- with another pet I had -- she had told me a list of things to watch for. One of the very first examples on her list was mobility and how it can mean an animal is in a lot of pain and may be depressed. Also, in the case of my cat, he'd fallen off a couch before, and she explained what if I came home from work to find he had fallen from somewhere higher and had broken a hip/etc. and suffered for 8 hours. That helped me decide.
Really though what another user commented -really- helped. That as soon as a vet mentions it as an option -- it's already time in their eyes to do it (or extremely close and they want to give you a couple of days to prepare yourself emotionally to say goodbye). I think for me it's also important to do it sooner rather than later. It's very important I think to consider quality of life (and having a 'good' death) than living longer in pain/fear/etc.
Also, I highly recommend if you have the option, to have the vet come to your home to do it. We were able to do that with one of our cats and I'm glad his last moments were more peaceful as a result.
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Comment on The difference between migraine and sinus headache in ~health
DialecticCake Link ParentI'm glad meds helped you. I think you're right re: auras not being as common as many people think the are. I just read that "Migraines without auras are much more common than any other kind." from...I'm glad meds helped you.
I think you're right re: auras not being as common as many people think the are. I just read that "Migraines without auras are much more common than any other kind." from Migraines With Aura vs. Migraines Without Aura. And later the article mentions auras show up in about 1 in 3 people and not likely each time someone has a migraine.
Based on my experience, yours, and @SleepyGary it seems like it's a cautionary warning about letting misinformation/assumptions cause additional fear and/or delay accurate diagnoses and treatment.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
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Comment on The difference between migraine and sinus headache in ~health
DialecticCake (edited )Link ParentIt must have been terrifying. Thanks for sharing this -- I hadn't realized an aura without the headache was possible as well. Apparently what you experienced is rare -- this article lists many...It must have been terrifying. Thanks for sharing this -- I hadn't realized an aura without the headache was possible as well.
Apparently what you experienced is rare -- this article lists many effects people may have with 'silent migraines': Migraine Aura Without Pain (Silent Migraine)
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Comment on The difference between migraine and sinus headache in ~health
DialecticCake LinkAnd as allergies may cause migraines, here's an article about that: The Link Between Allergies and Migraines It also includes suggestions to reduce migraine frequency and allergen exposure.And as allergies may cause migraines, here's an article about that: The Link Between Allergies and Migraines
It also includes suggestions to reduce migraine frequency and allergen exposure.
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Comment on The difference between migraine and sinus headache in ~health
DialecticCake LinkUpon reading the thread about Tylenol, I fell down a Google search rabbit hole and learned that many/most of the 'sinus headaches' I've had for years were most likely migraines without auras (I...Upon reading the thread about Tylenol, I fell down a Google search rabbit hole and learned that many/most of the 'sinus headaches' I've had for years were most likely migraines without auras (I didn't know that was a thing until now).
From the article:
Nearly 90 percent of people who believe they have sinus headaches, whether they diagnose themselves or are diagnosed by a healthcare provider, actually have migraines, studies have shown.
Other research has found these patients can go for years without a correct diagnosis or proper treatment. If you suffer from frequent sinus headaches that don't seem to get better with treatment, talk to your practitioner about the possibility you're having migraines instead.
The article also lists some of the common symptoms as well as what tends to differentiate between sinus infections vs migraines so it was a great read, at least for me. It also links to what seems to be reputable research papers.
So if you're like me and antibiotics usually didn't help, had an ENT who probed and said my sinuses were good, a CT scan was all clear, and then have completed 4 years of allergen immunotherapy (one year left to go) but still get the headaches (but less often thankfully) then it could be some subset of your headaches were actually migraines and not sinus infection-related.
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The difference between migraine and sinus headache
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Comment on Tylenol: Six more years of failure in ~health
DialecticCake Link ParentMany years ago upon leaving the hospital after a C-Section, I was told to take Tylenol (Acetaminophen) and Advil (Ibuprofen) together and the combination worked for me. Did a Google search and...Many years ago upon leaving the hospital after a C-Section, I was told to take Tylenol (Acetaminophen) and Advil (Ibuprofen) together and the combination worked for me.
Did a Google search and found this: How doctors are treating c-section pain without opioids
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Comment on How a brain implant and AI gave a woman with paralysis her voice back in ~science
DialecticCake LinkThis is quite a huge leap in technology (and results) from what this person regularly uses to communicate.This is quite a huge leap in technology (and results) from what this person regularly uses to communicate.
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How a brain implant and AI gave a woman with paralysis her voice back
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Comment on Looking for a good note-taking app in ~tech
DialecticCake Link ParentYou can also mostly ignore the journal and use it as a wiki. E.g., Usually the only thing I use for the journal is just for quickly creating a new page and then click that link and edit the wiki...You can also mostly ignore the journal and use it as a wiki. E.g., Usually the only thing I use for the journal is just for quickly creating a new page and then click that link and edit the wiki page instead.
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Comment on Transgender and nonbinary patients have no regrets about top surgery, small study finds in ~lgbt
DialecticCake Link ParentI think it would help if there was a study of people who got top surgery between 15-17 years old and the percentage that had regrets later. It's a case by case basis for sure and I can understand...I think it would help if there was a study of people who got top surgery between 15-17 years old and the percentage that had regrets later.
It's a case by case basis for sure and I can understand the requirements for youth to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria as well as have a Doctor sign off that they are a good candidate for surgery -- both of which presumably determine if the benefits of surgery outweigh the risks.
Another factor is that suicide ideation tends to be lessened once someone has completed their transition. E.g., 20% in those not planning a transition (perhaps gender dysphoria is lower for them?), 46% planning but not yet begun, 36% in process, 23% once transition has been completed. Source (EDIT to add those stats include medical and/or surgical transitions.)
Canada's healthcare system forces people into the category you said, e.g., If I can't do it in the next 3 years it's going to destroy me situation. Basically it's classist with very long wait lists. I think it took me 3-4 years after being referred to an allergist before I finally met her. And while seeing her was free, meds aren't covered so if I didn't have $1000/year to pay for the 2 serums for her to inject me with, I would still be suffering. Similarly seeing a psychiatrist is free but the meds aren't. Counselling is not covered at all and neither is dental.
A Psychologist I contacted told me it would cost us about $5K (requires many, many, sessions over time) for her to diagnose our kid with gender dysphoria and decide whether she could sign off on surgery. She said when she used to work in a trans health clinic most people just got their Psychiatrist to sign off...but the kid's Psychiatrist doesn't feel comfortable diagnosing that as he focuses more on the medication side than counseling.
And so it's also difficult to find medical professionals who are also educated on and comfortable with LGBTQ+ health. For instance any doctor in Canada can give Testosterone but our kid's family doctor isn't comfortable doing that...Our kid just wants to talk to someone about the pros and cons so that's more wait lists to see who they get to meet first -- a gynecologist or an endocrinologist. The gynecologist we found ourselves by calling many to ensure we first found one is comfortable with trans health especially with youth and then our doctor sent the referral to her about 9 months ago.
Anyway I'm sharing all of this to show that top surgery (at least here) isn't a thing a child can decide and parents approve and then get quickly. We're currently on a waiting list for a University hospital's trans program who has all the professionals needed who have the required (by the government) LGBT health training to diagnose/sign off. Our health care is so fragmented that we're hopeful having a multidisciplinary approach where medical professionals will actually talk to each other will be more helpful and also put an end to multiple waiting lists.
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Comment on How do I keep myself sane while trying to find a WFH job? in ~life
DialecticCake Link ParentAlthough I suggested LinkedIn, I also think this is a better option. A long time ago when I worked in HR we'd easily get 1000 resumes for each job posting. And by targeting well known remote jobs...Although I suggested LinkedIn, I also think this is a better option. A long time ago when I worked in HR we'd easily get 1000 resumes for each job posting. And by targeting well known remote jobs your competition is now not just the closest cities to you but potentially your entire country.
10 years ago I would have said to conduct informational interviews (where you interview employers to determine what experience, skills, etc. they are looking for to learn about that company's work culture and use that information to update your resume and/or focus on acquiring the top demanded skills), but I have no idea if employers are willing to be interviewed these days.
There have been times where I've selected 20 (one time even 50) job postings and wrote down all the common requirements to help me write more impactful resumes and cover letters. And likewise it can be helpful to use some of the same wording in the posting in your resume to get a higher score by whatever program they may be using.
Heck now you could give ChatGPT the text from many similar jobs of interest and then have it report on the most common experience/skills/buzz words and then compare your resume and offer suggestions on how to make it more effective both for automated screeners as well as people.
The only other thing I can think of now is that I customized my resume for every job ad. To streamline this I basically had created a master resume filled with tables and rows (with borders not showing) where each row was one skill as I found it quicker to just delete the rows that weren't applicable to a specific job posting.
And I'd often change up my wording and resume style. Essentially I'd do A/B Split testing on employers. 25 companies might receive a chronological resume and 25 may receive a skills based resume. Or some would receive one example of a skill and others would receive a different wording. Some would have my full name and some would be my first initial then last name.
Basically repeating the same thing and expecting a different result didn't make sense to me so I'd change things up but anytime I got an interview, then I'd use what worked to better improve my resume template.
It's also helpful to figure out what differentiates you from the competition and include that on resumes/cover letters.
Anyway I haven't been in the career development field or taught in that field for over 10 years so I don't know if what I've said is still relevant now. At the least it may provide some ideas or spark some ideas of your own.
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Comment on How do I keep myself sane while trying to find a WFH job? in ~life
DialecticCake LinkI suggest trying LinkedIn jobs. You can add a filter for just remote jobs and since the other filter options include hybrid and on-site, it's unlikely you'll get remote jobs that are actually...I suggest trying LinkedIn jobs. You can add a filter for just remote jobs and since the other filter options include hybrid and on-site, it's unlikely you'll get remote jobs that are actually hybrid jobs.
I don't know what country you are in but for my country (Canada), I see > 5K remote jobs and I confirmed that at least the first few at least are indeed remote only jobs and are not sales-related.
I had filtered on: remote, full time, part time, past week. As I didn't select volunteer that should mean all the jobs shown are paid. It may also help if you set the salary and/or the experience level to help focus your search. And you can also select job function, title, industry, specific companies, etc.
I think the main difficulty though is that by using any job site, it means you'll have lots of competition from other applicants. The best way to deal with that is if you can utilize anyone you know who could help get your resume in front of an actual manager at their company. LinkedIn can be useful to show you any 1st/2nd person connections at a company you are targeting whom you could ask for help.
Good luck in your search.
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Comment on Transgender and nonbinary patients have no regrets about top surgery, small study finds in ~lgbt
DialecticCake Link ParentThank you so much for sharing those links. I think they'll help my kid to feel more comfortable expressing themselves how they want and feel less boxed in by what they fear other people will...Thank you so much for sharing those links. I think they'll help my kid to feel more comfortable expressing themselves how they want and feel less boxed in by what they fear other people will think.
Also, it's crucially important for them to see non-binary people are are having good lives and especially the third link may help with that. Navigating Canada's healthcare system has been hell and sometimes it's difficult for them to believe that they will someday get the surgery.
Also thanks for offering to provide an invitation should they decide they want to join Tildes. Unfortunately when I first mentioned both Lemmy and Tildes, they said they didn't want anything other than Reddit. But if that changes and they decide they want to join Tildes, I'll PM you.
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Comment on Transgender and nonbinary patients have no regrets about top surgery, small study finds in ~lgbt
DialecticCake Link ParentI can imagine the stealth aspect but getting older also had that effect. :D I also appreciate you sharing why you use a binder sometimes too. I once had a friend who got a breast reduction and was...I can imagine the stealth aspect but getting older also had that effect. :D I also appreciate you sharing why you use a binder sometimes too.
I once had a friend who got a breast reduction and was thrilled with it, e.g., being able to sleep on her stomach without pain or on her side without needing to reposition anything, being able to wear smaller strapped bras and have less back pain, finding it easier to find clothing that fit well, more comfort exercising, etc.
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Comment on Transgender and nonbinary patients have no regrets about top surgery, small study finds in ~lgbt
DialecticCake LinkThanks for posting this. This may be something I'll share with doctors/medical professionals during my kid's journey to trying to get a mastectomy. I was just daydreaming earlier how I may explain...Thanks for posting this. This may be something I'll share with doctors/medical professionals during my kid's journey to trying to get a mastectomy.
I was just daydreaming earlier how I may explain to a family member why my non-binary 15 year old wants a mastectomy and the best thing I've come up with so far is:
A cis-male 15 year old has man boobs and wants to get them removed
A non-binary 15 year old wants to get their boobs removedIn both cases, having breasts is causing gender dysphoria and I'm going to hazard a guess that it's a lot more accepted and easier for cis-male 15 year olds to get moobs removed and that they won't require any or as much counseling and other hoops to get the surgery. And I also doubt there's as many religious people freaking out about the cis-male saying he should keep the boobs "God" gave him.
If you have other ideas to help explain to a family member who supports trans (binary trans) but just can't understand non-binary and why someone would want booby choppy, but keep their vagina, and not want to start dressing/presenting male, etc., let me know.
And I just found this which I'll share with my 15 year old as I know they have a lot of anxiety and fear of judgement if they choose to wear a skirt around people who know they are non-binary. CBC.ca: I shouldn't have to 'look' non-binary for my identity to be respected
I wasn't sure whether it's too late to post on this thread but decided I will in case this helps anyone.
Three things that have helped me (ADHD/Depression/Anxiety) are:
I hope some/any of this helps and that you'll (anyone reading) also be kind to yourself. It can be both heartbreaking and life altering to learn that you are not in fact lazy/incompetent/etc. but that you most likely also have other issues from such labels and having to try so much harder than everyone else to get your brain to cooperate.