RobertJohnson's recent activity

  1. Comment on How are you different than you were ten years ago? in ~talk

    RobertJohnson
    Link Parent
    Perhaps people are not bad, but easily persuaded into being bad then, eh?

    Perhaps people are not bad, but easily persuaded into being bad then, eh?

    3 votes

  2. Comment on How are you different than you were ten years ago? in ~talk

    RobertJohnson
    Link Parent
    I feel the same way except even less optimistic than you. It's nice to know that others share these feelings. It really hurts to have your faith in humanity ripped away from you and once its gone,...

    I was also a lot more optimistic about humanity back then too, but the pandemic and the overall attitude of the political regression in the time period forced a big shift in my perspective. I still feel that there is a lots of good in people, but I'm less optimistic that some people can change.

    I feel the same way except even less optimistic than you. It's nice to know that others share these feelings. It really hurts to have your faith in humanity ripped away from you and once its gone, I don't think that it comes back.

    Plus - I'm doing my dream job now that I was wanting to do ten years ago!

    Thank you for sharing some positivity. Very happy for you.

    3 votes

  3. Comment on How are you different than you were ten years ago? in ~talk

    RobertJohnson
    (edited )
    Link
    Ten years ago my life was worse in virtually every way. I was broke, depressed, underweight, and on the verge of homelessness. I had just ran away from my home to escape an abusive situation....

    Ten years ago my life was worse in virtually every way. I was broke, depressed, underweight, and on the verge of homelessness. I had just ran away from my home to escape an abusive situation. Things have improved a lot since then but in a weird way, I had more hope back then. I guess when you're at the bottom, it feels like you can only go up and when you're at the top, it feels like you can only go down. Since I've seen the bottom, I know all to well how painful life can be. On the other hand, having experienced the "good" life, I find pleasure to be not nearly so pleasant as I expected.

    My issue with hope is bigger than my individual situation though. I used to believe that most people were good. I thought that the world was destined to improve. I assumed that society would be more educated than ever and thus, we would grow and advance.

    I don't believe any of this anymore.

    5 votes

  4. Comment on What do you need to vent about? in ~talk

    RobertJohnson
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    You caught me. This is the first time I've said that to anyone. I haven't even told my parents. I think I've decided that I want out. Actually getting out is harder than I expected.

    You caught me. This is the first time I've said that to anyone. I haven't even told my parents. I think I've decided that I want out. Actually getting out is harder than I expected.

    3 votes

  5. Comment on What do you need to vent about? in ~talk

    RobertJohnson
    Link
    About a year or so ago I took a massive gamble with my career and started doing something that is fairly risky. I would prefer to keep it vague, but I basically straight up gambled and I am...

    About a year or so ago I took a massive gamble with my career and started doing something that is fairly risky. I would prefer to keep it vague, but I basically straight up gambled and I am continuing to gamble every day. The risk is not incredibly high, but the work I am doing now, I could lose at any time. I am essentially pre-fired and I know that.

    The money from this decision has been great. It is potentially setting my family and I up for a great future. There is just one problem, I'm incredibly overwhelmed and I don't know how long I can keep doing this. It's really taking a toll on my mental health. I'm big time burnt out but I can't walk away from the money. Even worse though, it is not clear to me that walking away from this is the solution. I know that if I traded what I'm doing now for something easier, I would still feel burnt out. I would still feel depressed. I would still feel frustrated with the world. I would be all of these things but I'd also be worse off financially. I guess I'd rather suffer in the short term to be financially stable and potentially retire earlier. I just don't see any escape from this feeling. I really don't think that changing what I do would make me feel any better. This position is only temporary and I will likely never find something like this again. I should be grateful for this opportunity, and I am, but I also feel like shit every day.

    Short of me winning the lottery, I don't think there is any escape for me from these feelings. Even then, I am not so certain. I am reminded of a quote by Schopenhauer which I feel describes life accurately.

    In a world where all is unstable, and nought can endure, but is swept onwards at once in the hurrying whirlpool of change; where a man, if he is to keep erect at all, must always be advancing and moving, like an acrobat on a rope—in such a world, happiness in inconceivable. How can it dwell where, as Plato says, continual Becoming and never Being is the sole form of existence? In the first place, a man never is happy, but spends his whole life in striving after something which he thinks will make him so; he seldom attains his goal, and when he does, it is only to be disappointed; he is mostly shipwrecked in the end, and comes into harbor with masts and rigging gone. And then, it is all one whether he has been happy or miserable; for his life was never anything more than a present moment always vanishing; and now it is over.

    13 votes