Tukajo's recent activity
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Comment on Does anyone use Ground News? in ~talk
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Comment on Without looking, do you have a vague idea of your coordinates? in ~talk
Tukajo LinkI do, but I am a software engineer and have had to use geospatial coordinates before in my work. Also I live near the 45° parallel.I do, but I am a software engineer and have had to use geospatial coordinates before in my work.
Also I live near the 45° parallel.
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Comment on Winter boot recommendations for women in ~life.style
Tukajo Link ParentLove the look of these, will be checking them out. Thank you!Love the look of these, will be checking them out. Thank you!
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Comment on Winter boot recommendations for women in ~life.style
Tukajo Link ParentIt can get pretty deep, a few feet in January/February. I live in the Twin Cities. These are all great recommendations, thank you!It can get pretty deep, a few feet in January/February. I live in the Twin Cities.
These are all great recommendations, thank you!
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Winter boot recommendations for women
Not really sure where this fits in terms of topic. My wife and I live in Minnesota, and we can get some gnarly snow and cold weather. This year she had repeatedly expressed desire for a high...
Not really sure where this fits in terms of topic.
My wife and I live in Minnesota, and we can get some gnarly snow and cold weather. This year she had repeatedly expressed desire for a high quality, durable boot for the winter.
I've seen various recommendations but honestly most of them feel astroturfed.
Does anyone here have a good suggestion on a boot that will last, be high quality, and keep her warm in the winters in deep snow?
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (December 2025) in ~health.mental
Tukajo Link ParentHello, I am a Software Engineer (doing architectural stuff mostly nowadays). I also have quite a bit of friends in DevOps. I have helped several folks transition careers (including one who was a...Hello, I am a Software Engineer (doing architectural stuff mostly nowadays). I also have quite a bit of friends in DevOps.
I have helped several folks transition careers (including one who was a Barista at a coffee shop!) into Software Engineering.
I don't want to come off as if I'm some miracle workers or like I can guarantee anything, but if you are amenable to it please reach out to me via DM.
There may be some information I can help provide. Feedback I can give, or even just connections.
I'm sorry to hear you were laid off, especially after so many years and with so many connections within the place you had worked.
That must have been a punch in the gut and I imagine it probably has shaken up your identity a bit.
Regardless, I hope things take a turn towards the positive for you.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (December 2025) in ~health.mental
Tukajo Link ParentComparison is the thief of joy. I have been where you are in many ways, not exactly but at least there are a lot of parellels. I have been in a bit of therapy to learn some things that have helped...Comparison is the thief of joy.
I have been where you are in many ways, not exactly but at least there are a lot of parellels.
I have been in a bit of therapy to learn some things that have helped me tremendously.
To provide direct insight, one thing I struggle with is similar to you: video games. I also derive a great deal of "joy" from them. They are one of my primary recreational activities, they probably do keep me sharp (considering the types of games I play), and I have several friendships built around them. However, I also have this nagging feeling that they are not "what" I want to be defined by.
To elaborate: it is valuable to sit and stew about what it is we truly want and what it is that bothers us about things. Personally, I find that indulging in games can be fun and sometimes even appropriate, but sometimes it can lead to an upheaval of expectations we may subconsciously have for ourselves.
All of this isn't to say that our natural intuitions are infallible, but there is still value in questioning it. If you find you are not pleased with your video game consumption, either you could question that. Is it really so bad? Why are you so hard on yourself?
If you find it is something that is damaging, how is it damaging? Is it causing escapism? Is it that you have too high expectations for yourself?
The answer is different for everybody, but the solution is sort of the same. Introspection, reflection, and meditation on the matter.
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Comment on Greed is destroying the world in ~society
Tukajo (edited )LinkI wanted to see what Tildes thoughts were on this video. He brings up a lot of good points that I am sure most of us, including myself have spent a lot of time thinking about. The thing is, when...I wanted to see what Tildes thoughts were on this video. He brings up a lot of good points that I am sure most of us, including myself have spent a lot of time thinking about.
The thing is, when confronted with these thoughts, I don't know where to go.
I do try to spend time using my money in ways I feel point us towards a better society, and contribute my abilities (such as programming) to projects for free that further agendas I believe in.
What are you folk's thoughts?
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Greed is destroying the world
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Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books
Tukajo LinkI've been doing an M. John Harrison binge among others. By M. John Harrison: The Pastel City (back in October), I LOVED this book. It almost felt like a more serious Star Wars in its fantastic...I've been doing an M. John Harrison binge among others.
By M. John Harrison:
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The Pastel City (back in October), I LOVED this book. It almost felt like a more serious Star Wars in its fantastic acts and energy swords.
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A Storm of Wings, the follow up to The Pastel City. My wife rated this 5 stars, and I'm thinking I need to re-read it because I gave it a 3.5. I found it good but confusing and difficult to read. There was a lot of interesting concepts but it didn't click as well for me.
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The Committed Men. Set in a post-nuclear-apocalypse Great Britain. This book started off rather slowly but has since been captivating. Some of the writing and action scenes have me hooked. I love how visceral M. John can lay out a horrifying scene.
Such as an action scene where the protagonists are suddenly ambushed in their armored car. Incendiary rounds firing off wildly and peeling away old dilapidated buildings. Then a Molotov Cocktail exploded the car and ignites some of our protagonists ablaze, putting them into a frenzied panic. It is horrifying and visceral.Other books I've read recently have been:
- Tau Zero by Poul Anderson. This book was a fun read but his characters are horrible. It's hard science and the concept is INCREDIBLE and it carries the book hard. The character development is correct at best, and slightly racist and misogynistic at worst. It was written in the 1970s however... There are no outright racist slrus, but there are stereotypes abroad.
The concept however is incredibly cool if you are familiar with astrophysics and different types of theoretical interstellar warp drives.
- Humankind by Rutger Bregman. This book covers various historical topics and psychological studies. It makes the case that humans, despite prevailing assumptions, are cooperative, compassionate and kind. It was a very good read and helped ease a lot of cynicism I held. Would recommend.
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Comment on What programming/technical projects have you been working on? in ~comp
Tukajo Link ParentI have dedicated image downloaded off steam and copied to a separate device. It is clear the image is just a plain old docker image nothing special there. The machine I'm running it on doesn't...I have dedicated image downloaded off steam and copied to a separate device. It is clear the image is just a plain old docker image nothing special there. The machine I'm running it on doesn't even have steam installed, but I can see the docker image is using my steam identifier.
This is all to say I haven't dug into it very deeply, but I wonder if the steam stuff and PlayFab is actually necessary. I don't know.
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Comment on What programming/technical projects have you been working on? in ~comp
Tukajo Link ParentVery interesting. I had been doing similar work for a Valheim server. However, that uses the PlayFab/built in Steam system. It works, but it would be nice to not be reliant on Steam (even though I...Very interesting. I had been doing similar work for a Valheim server. However, that uses the PlayFab/built in Steam system.
It works, but it would be nice to not be reliant on Steam (even though I like them as a company more than most).
Do you know if your solution is agnostic enough to front a Valheim server?
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Comment on Some people can't see mental images. The consequences are profound. in ~health.mental
Tukajo LinkI don't know how long threads usually stay lively in Tildes but I'm very much enjoying this one. I wanted to ask those still here if they'll humor me. If you are a "aphantasic" person, can you...I don't know how long threads usually stay lively in Tildes but I'm very much enjoying this one.
I wanted to ask those still here if they'll humor me.
If you are a "aphantasic" person, can you answer a few questions:
- Have you had a history of vision problems or impairments?
- Do you wear glasses, contacts, or have otherwise repaired your vision?
- If yes to #2 at what age?
This is not very scientific or rigorous, but I had a lot of eye problems growing up and my family did not help me to receive glasses (for various reasons) until I was much older (into my teenage years).
This lead me to grow up with poor vision throughout my life. It blew my mind people could read a sign a few yards away and I never really thought about it. I know this may sound made up but I grew up in a very isolated rural area.
I'd be interested to see if there is any correlation to physical image processing impairments and development of aphantasia.
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Comment on Things to do when you've lost your job in ~talk
Tukajo Link ParentI'm so glad! Please do keep in touch should things change! This goes for anyone on this platform. I am more than willing to discuss things with you should you reach out to me for advice, career or...I'm so glad! Please do keep in touch should things change!
This goes for anyone on this platform. I am more than willing to discuss things with you should you reach out to me for advice, career or otherwise.
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Comment on Some people can't see mental images. The consequences are profound. in ~health.mental
Tukajo Link ParentI really want to hone in on this: That. That is how I feel about everything, all the time. I see nothing, but a knowing of what it is I am supposed to see. It's as if my entire focus is putting...I really want to hone in on this:
However, at first, that's the whole picture. [I do still "feel" that the table and its legs are where they would be] but there's no form unless I "look"
That. That is how I feel about everything, all the time. I see nothing, but a knowing of what it is I am supposed to see. It's as if my entire focus is putting forth a visual "tip-of-the-tongue" artifact that is just ever-so-slightly out of reach.
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Comment on Some people can't see mental images. The consequences are profound. in ~health.mental
Tukajo Link ParentYour final sentence resonates with me. I don't know how to really truly explain it further to people and I'm wracking my mind to come up with better examples. I hope to tackle this further and...Your final sentence resonates with me. I don't know how to really truly explain it further to people and I'm wracking my mind to come up with better examples. I hope to tackle this further and revisit this thread honestly as I ponder longer.
One thing you said, the ability to "Intuit" things I feel warrant a reply.
The other day, I forgot my password to Bitwarden after setting up a new computer. The strangest thing happened, I could let my hands "move" in a pattern I subconsciously and intuitively knew. But if I tried to "think" about what I was doing it sort of broke down and got in the way. This is the muscle memory you are describing.
I've got a weird "vibe" gut check going on in my brain where I think when things become visual, I can sort of... Almost call upon some invisible hand that guides me through a problem by some rails. But those rails are not accessible directly.
To really manifest what I am trying to say here: it's as if the concepts, properties, and intuitions that are accompanying useful physical analogies (like a box holding things to represent computer memory), are still acting. They are acting in a way in me that are not directly accessible, but they are still there.
This further can be "sussed out" and verified, I think, by assuming the opposite. I'm not a particularly creative person. I struggle to come up with novel ideas or new things that are not based upon something I've come to "understand" before. It's not that I can't do it, it's just less natural to me.
Anyway, I'm rambling a bit now...
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Comment on Some people can't see mental images. The consequences are profound. in ~health.mental
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Comment on Some people can't see mental images. The consequences are profound. in ~health.mental
Tukajo Link ParentShoot. I'll fix it next I am at my computer. Thank you for the heads up.Shoot. I'll fix it next I am at my computer.
Thank you for the heads up.
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Comment on Some people can't see mental images. The consequences are profound. in ~health.mental
Tukajo Link ParentI feel this about silence. My mind is always speaking, I have an inner dialogue and am diagnosed ADHD. The entirety of my thoughts are my own voice in my head. I can perhaps "tune out" that voice...For example, I can focus much much easier on things if there's some ambient instrumental music playing to occupy that auditory processing and leave my inner speech and visualization free to reason about a problem. Silence is too distracting, as it leaves that part of my mind to wander. Music with vocals are too distracting, as the words distract my inner speech.
I feel this about silence. My mind is always speaking, I have an inner dialogue and am diagnosed ADHD. The entirety of my thoughts are my own voice in my head. I can perhaps "tune out" that voice in favor of experiencing "raw input" (if my eyes are opened), but being left to my own devices I am essentially just thinking in a never-ending train of thought.
When recalling speech, it seems to occupy the same part of my mind responsible for my inner speech; I cannot imagine two voices simultaneously as language, but I can imagine discordant voices in a chorus as noise. I cannot understand others speaking to me if I'm simultaneously using my inner speech or recalling speech. There are no limits on character of the voice as others here have described: my inner voice is typically my own, but I can perfectly recall others' voices or invent new ones.
This is interesting. My voice is also my own, but in my head. However, if I try to "recall" other peoples voices, or invent another one (which I just tried), it becomes just my voice but "mimicking" that voice. I tried my wife's voice, and it was simply my voice but higher pitched and more-feminine (and I knew it was hers). I tried Darth Vader for kicks, and it was simply my voice but poorly (and funnily) modulated through a breathing apparatus.
This is a segue, but I've been recently listening to Barm Stoker's Dracula (I know, I know. Corny). Throughout the book, there is tons of description of Dracula. He has cold, gaunt and white hands. His flesh is pale like a corpse. I do not "see" a head when thinking about this, but upon further reflection my mind is "taken" out of the scene entirely to focus on that singular detail in that singular moment.
Take for example, if I were to be able to visualize Dracula's "Cold, gaunt and pale white hands", the image in my mind (if it were to appear) would, as I "feel" it, consume the entirety of my field of view. I would not have imagined (I feel) the entirety of Dracula, but it would be as if I was zoomed in on a disembodied hand. This leads me to believe that I have some "sense" of spatial dimension, and I hone in on that. However, there is no visual.
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Comment on Some people can't see mental images. The consequences are profound. in ~health.mental
Tukajo (edited )Link ParentI appreciate this question, and I genuinely spent a few days thinking about how I wanted to reply here. I feel it's best to just sort of, "do the exercise" in a sort of flow-of-consciousness style...I appreciate this question, and I genuinely spent a few days thinking about how I wanted to reply here.
I feel it's best to just sort of, "do the exercise" in a sort of flow-of-consciousness style of writing. I will type out my thoughts to your question as they come here:
How do I conceptualize data structures and memory in a way that makes sense?If I were to be asked about this in a gut-check way, I would normally say "I imagine a box that is subdivided, or a grid, or
mxnmatrix. Each slot representing a space within which values may be stored. This is physically represented (today at least) as transistors, who's voltage levels float up or down to absolute values of 0,1.However, upon deeper thought I do not truly "think" of a box. There is no object that actually comes to mind, merely the ideas and associations that those things have. I understand, factually and intuitively that a box has spatial dimension, just as transistors do when laid out upon a grid. These dimensions add nuance to how data is laid out and direct literal affects to algorithms.
For instance, a LinkedList, or Doubly-Linked List, is a data structure which lays itself out by providing pointers from each component of the data structure to the next component. This allows for data to be "inserted" fast, because instead of having to find a position to insert the data, it can be laid out more "sporadically" in physical space.
Alternatively, a traditional array typically allocates a "block" of space within memory. This block is sequential by necessity, and data is almost certainly "physically adjacent" to eachother. This allows for faster search algorithms (sometimes) within the data set because the sequential reading is optimized. Another example is that a linked list may be sorted, but you cannot simply "jump" to the middle of a list like you could an array by computing an index. You would have to traverse the list sequentially to find the middle of a sorted LinkedList, and then store that reference if you wanted to keep it.
Boiling back to the earlier question, how do I "understand" this without visualizing it, as everything I have stated so far has been in metaphors of the physical. Part of me understands these things by visual representation in the real realm. It could be a whiteboard if a concept is particularly hard to grasp. However, ultimately, I think I have gained a nuance for understanding things by pattern recognition as well.
For example, the repetition of language and code has given me insights into how things work at a glance. I understand, intuitively, that the two pieces of code function practically identically in
o(n)time:for (let i = 0; i < 10; i++) { doThingOne(); doThingTwo(); }vs
for (let i = 0; i < 10; i++) { doThingOne(); } for (let j = 0; j < 10; j++) { doThingTwo(); }It's essentially saying "do thing one and thing two
ntimes" vs "do thing onentimes and two thing twontimes". It follows by Distributive Property that these operations can be written either way. You can even go so far as to represent functions and logic abstractly through variables if it helps. The above can be represented as(x+y)norxn+yn.Going back to earlier, thinking about a box conceptually (but not visually) helps, because it is one of the things we interact with regularly in real life that contains structured slots laid out in space. This, ultimately, is a brute fact I understand and rely on. Just as I rely on the idea that the mathematical operations and values together can combined into expressions that produce results and solutions.
I hope this layout isn't too messy. I will revisit to hopefully clean things up.
One thing I do want to emphasize is, if there is a conceptual structure I am truly struggling with understanding. Such as something that spans both time and space (3-4 dimensions or more, such as high-vector space for RAG in an LLM), I will try to physically lay out models or visuals for me and simply "toy" with the data until I gain an intuition. Often times I will do data dumps or model data sets just to see how the thing behaves through various probing.
I don't want to come off as some sort of "Rain Man" superhuman, I have my limitations and I struggle a lot. There are just some things that are not natural even for me to intuit. If we did not have modern computers and tools at our disposal, I'm sure I'd be doing something entirely different with my life.
I struggle with this. I have used it but I'm a relatively left-leaning guy.
On the one had, it platforms and normalizes what I view to be some pretty abhorrant views. Particularly in the United States. As others have pointed out (e.g., "enlightened centrism").
On the other hand, I do not have any faith in people I know and love from being pulled out of their cult of MAGA or the likewise unless systems like these are in place to hopefully expose them to more positive stories. It feels like it's not meant for someone like me, but the rather the people I think it would benefit are chugging Newsmax every night.
I know that may sound egotistical, but I don't and never will agree with things like what I.C.E. is doing in the United States. There just is not a way to "sanely" portray that, nor should it be.