Zelkova's recent activity
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Comment on What do you think on how suicide prevention is handled in the world? What can be done better? in ~health.mental
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Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental
Zelkova LinkThere isn’t an easy answer to your questions because I don’t think there really is an exact answer. I suffer from the same issue and MANY times I feel like I’m tumbling through life. I’m still...There isn’t an easy answer to your questions because I don’t think there really is an exact answer.
I suffer from the same issue and MANY times I feel like I’m tumbling through life. I’m still trying to get some aspects of my life on the track that I want.
I think you need to give yourself some grace in this. To give an example that helped me when I was in a significantly worse spot was the broken leg analogy.
Let’s say you broke your leg, would your first course of action be to try to run on that leg in an attempt to get back to normal? Of course not. You first give yourself time to heal, and you wouldn’t feel bad about that because it’s obvious why you can’t run like normal, your leg is damaged. Over time you would take incremental changes to first return your leg to normal function, then walking, then running. Your major depression and anxiety disorder are that broken leg. Give yourself time to heal, learn to meaningfully wiggle your toes before you worry about standing upright (keeping with the broken leg analogy). It’s a long process, but a meaningful one.
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Comment on Affirmative action and its role in your life in ~life
Zelkova LinkI feel like a lot of people have no idea what affirmative action is/was. I feel like most people think it was some arbitrary quota that universities just looked to fill with no concern for any...I feel like a lot of people have no idea what affirmative action is/was. I feel like most people think it was some arbitrary quota that universities just looked to fill with no concern for any other metric. In reality the way it was implemented was to value the experiences and systemic issues that POC face daily as a plus instead of an inherent negative.
In the US, being a POC of any kind is an extremely unique experience. I’ve been followed in stores, I’ve been stopped by police for being parked in front of my friends house to pick him up, I’ve been stopped by police parked in front of my own home and all of this was before I was 18. My father is half white, so my last name is not a typical name you would expect someone like me to have, so my parents chose to give me a more common first name, so that my name didn’t give away my race. You know what? It worked! Every interview I’ve ever been in begins with the same question, “So your name is X, that’s so interesting what is your family background?” I’ve been told to my face, “Wow, you are very articulate for someone like you” In that specific instance I even tried to give that person an out and deflect to my age, to which they specifically corrected themselves to mean my race (I quit that job pretty quickly)
All affirmative action seemed to do was make sure that these hardships were weighed in favor of a candidate and not against them. It was made to make sure that admissions valued a candidate overcoming these challenges to succeed as opposed to succumbing to them.
Without affirmative action I expect a lot of these considerations to be lost or removed. I expect admissions for black and Hispanic kids to plummet. I also expect this to bleed further into the job market. It’s exhausting to be headed backwards.
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Comment on Do you spend more time creating a Tildes reply than on other platforms? in ~tildes
Zelkova LinkI don’t spend any more or less time than I previously did. I think I post a little more frequently, but if there is anything I’m learning on here is that many times you don’t need to reply or a...I don’t spend any more or less time than I previously did. I think I post a little more frequently, but if there is anything I’m learning on here is that many times you don’t need to reply or a reply just isn’t warranted. Unless I feel like I have a question about someone’s comment or want to add some form of context I often don’t comment.
There have been a few emotionally charged threads recently; I typed out many responses and never hit post comment. On reddit, I didn’t post much, but that was because I couldn’t deal with the endless inbox of people that came after. On Tildes, I don’t post because not everything warrants my opinion being shared. The ideological difference has helped me make the posts I do make more meaningful.
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Comment on US Supreme Court strikes down race-based admissions programs at Harvard University and the University of North Carolina in ~life
Zelkova LinkThe negative effect that this will have on an entire generation of Hispanic and Black students is truly disheartening. The nuanced understanding of affirmative action and its role in promoting...The negative effect that this will have on an entire generation of Hispanic and Black students is truly disheartening. The nuanced understanding of affirmative action and its role in promoting diversity will be lost on many of these universities, and the students will be made to suffer. Edward Blum attacked voting rights, and made the entire universe of voting significantly more difficult for people of color. It is no surprise that after losing against affirmative action in 2016, he would come back when the court was more conservative leaning to try again.
Seeing decades of activist work being washed away by the Supreme Court is painful. There is this really weird notion that the US has somehow solved racism, while not actually doing anything all that substantial to handle the issue. There are people that marched during the Civil Rights Movement that are still alive, but we somehow in record time managed to solve the entire issue? No way.
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Comment on Do you know any games with excellent gameplay but horrible graphics? in ~games
Zelkova Link ParentI honestly felt like they just fell victim to feature creep with bannerlords. Just so many different systems and some felt fleshed out while others felt a bit half baked. I never expected...I honestly felt like they just fell victim to feature creep with bannerlords. Just so many different systems and some felt fleshed out while others felt a bit half baked. I never expected Bannerlords to live up to Warband purely because Warband got so much right.
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~enviro
Zelkova Link ParentI’m not looking for an argument, and I’m trying to come at this from the most respectful that I can because the topic has generally affected my friends and family. I understand your apathy and it...I’m not looking for an argument, and I’m trying to come at this from the most respectful that I can because the topic has generally affected my friends and family. I understand your apathy and it harkens to a deeply cynical part of myself.
What do you say to the people already dying from the disasters that were intensified/created by the effects of climate change? I lost an entire part of my family when a “unprecedented” hurricane devastated their village. My best friends parents lost their homes and their lives in wildfires that were intensified by the effects of climate change. You can read endless numbers of stories like these already. This isn’t just about extinction, there are real people already suffering from the effects.
I’m just curious what your thinking is regarding those people? It’s easy to dismiss past and future generations because they don’t exist, but what about the people now? What happens if you were displaced currently by the effects? Do you think your tone around the subject would be different?
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Comment on Gen Z is expecting a forty-year retirement. Good luck, experts say. in ~finance
Zelkova LinkWho could confidently say they know what the market is going to look like in 40 years? What an absurd thing to ask of a generation that is still relatively young and inexperienced. Even the...Who could confidently say they know what the market is going to look like in 40 years? What an absurd thing to ask of a generation that is still relatively young and inexperienced.
Even the “experts” estimation of 3 million dollars works under the assumption that everything remains static for 40 years lol. The reason they can’t give an accurate estimation is because it doesn’t exist. They might as well have also asked “Gen Z” if they plan to retire on Mars.
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Comment on What have your experiences been with losing interest in video games as you get older? in ~games
Zelkova LinkI'm 28 and I find myself usually pretty bored with video games. I have a few theories on why as you get older the desire to game tapers off. Repetitive Loops. When you are younger, repetitious...I'm 28 and I find myself usually pretty bored with video games. I have a few theories on why as you get older the desire to game tapers off.
- Repetitive Loops. When you are younger, repetitious behavior is actually very useful for development. When you are super young it might be playing with a toy in the exact same way for days and days. In your early teens that might have translated to endless rounds of Halo, COD, etc. As you age I think the desire for looping activities remains, but the complexity required to keep you engaged increases.
- Time. This is the obvious one as you get older you have less time to devote to games, which means you need games with more concise loops, and games that are overly simple or drawn out is a drain on the brain.
- Your Partner. I find that if you have a partner that also games, this can significantly lessen the decline in interest as you are supplementing the gameplay loop with meaningful time with your SO. If your partner is completely disinterested then the priority of video games just naturally falls.
- The industry. I think there is something inherently wrong with the industry surrounding video games right now. Seems like a lot of modern games use tactics like FOMO, long-playtime, and/or GaaS to try to capture as much playtime as possible. Every major release feels like its trying to capture all of your time, and make you feel bad if you don't. My guess is a lot of people lose interest because we all already have jobs, and don't have any interest in adding another one.
Now with all of that said, I think the bright side of this is that there are people who make games that feel this exact way, so they begin to create experiences that avoid many of these pitfalls. I've loved seeing this wonderful array of complex and tight-looped games we've been getting.
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Comment on FTC: Xbox-exclusive Starfield is “powerful evidence” against Activision deal in ~games
Zelkova Link ParentI think we will just disagree here ideologically, which is fine. I just find issue with the largest single acquisition in Microsoft’s history being classified as an insignificant battlefield.I think we will just disagree here ideologically, which is fine. I just find issue with the largest single acquisition in Microsoft’s history being classified as an insignificant battlefield.
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Comment on FTC: Xbox-exclusive Starfield is “powerful evidence” against Activision deal in ~games
Zelkova Link ParentAnd I’m not asking MS to shutter its Xbox division, I’m just expecting regulators to stop a deal that sets a very dangerous precedent for the space. I don’t want another industry to just be...i see it the same and would say it's worth to keep them in the market because sony as a company isn't a nice player either. now they are on the edge to not f everyone over.
And I’m not asking MS to shutter its Xbox division, I’m just expecting regulators to stop a deal that sets a very dangerous precedent for the space. I don’t want another industry to just be swallowed up by MS, Amazon, Google, Apple, etc.
valid and i did address this in my ps. but for now they acted in good faith and that makes me want to trust them. a little.
I don’t think they have though. When they acquired Bethesda, they immediately made Redfall, Starfield, and Elder Scrolls 6 Xbox/PC exclusives. All of those games were slated multi-platform. I don’t think Microsoft from a historical perspective deserves the benefit of the doubt here.
but with that kind of power that deal doesn't really matter. it's only done because it's a safe play. they could invest that money into a small studio and make them AAA big
Investing in studios they build is very different than acquiring a currently existing multi-platform publisher. It’s actively removing a good number of options that previously existed for all consumers.
I think in the end, I’m not saying blocking the deal solves all problems and everything is fine. I think what I’m saying is approving the deal sets us down a path that we can’t walk back from. The gaming space is already small enough, we don’t need to continue to make it smaller.
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Comment on FTC: Xbox-exclusive Starfield is “powerful evidence” against Activision deal in ~games
Zelkova Link ParentIt gets observably worse because Sony nor Nintendo can compete. How does Sony counter offer ~70 billion dollars? How does any company compete against buying power like that? This isn’t a game...It gets observably worse because Sony nor Nintendo can compete. How does Sony counter offer ~70 billion dollars? How does any company compete against buying power like that? This isn’t a game studio, this is a publisher which houses tons of game studios.
The other thing is Sony can’t monopolize the space, they don’t have the capital to do that. I feel like the exclusive/game studios argument is thrown around without remembering that at no point could MS not do the same thing, they chose not to. In the instance of Act/Blizz it is completely impossible for Sony or Nintendo to be involved in the conversation.
I think the thing to keep in mind here is MS has zero skin in the game, the Xbox division could be shuttered tomorrow and their stock value would dip for a few weeks then shoot way up when people realize they shed the money pit that is Xbox. Could the same be said about Sony’s PlayStation division? Probably not.
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Comment on Do you know any games with excellent gameplay but horrible graphics? in ~games
Zelkova LinkMount and Blade: Warband. One of my favorite games of all time, and an insane mod community behind it. It’s a blend of so many genre’s and I don’t think I’ve sunk more time into a single game in a...Mount and Blade: Warband. One of my favorite games of all time, and an insane mod community behind it. It’s a blend of so many genre’s and I don’t think I’ve sunk more time into a single game in a long time.
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Comment on FTC: Xbox-exclusive Starfield is “powerful evidence” against Activision deal in ~games
Zelkova Link ParentSo, I wanna make sure I’m understanding you correctly, but let me open with I definitely agree the market is already in a rough spot. Your point though is because the market is already in bad...So, I wanna make sure I’m understanding you correctly, but let me open with I definitely agree the market is already in a rough spot. Your point though is because the market is already in bad shape, what does it matter if it gets worse?
In my eyes, Sony’s market cap is currently somewhere in the range of like 120 billion. Microsoft spent more than 50% of what Sony is currently worth on a single acquisition. Things are already bad, but giving a company worth 2.5 trillion the ability to continue to absorb more space seems like a way worse reality than our current one?
This doesn’t even account for the idea that Microsoft no longer even sees Sony as a competitor anymore, even with its commanding console lead.
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Comment on Some general advice for all the new Tildes users in ~tildes
Zelkova LinkAs a person of color, tildes has been an adjustment period for me. I used to comment pretty regularly on Reddit, but became exhausted constantly being put on the defense about very charged topics...As a person of color, tildes has been an adjustment period for me. I used to comment pretty regularly on Reddit, but became exhausted constantly being put on the defense about very charged topics specifically around race. Over time I really just came to lurk, and maybe submit a meme from time to time.
When I moved over to Tildes, I felt the immediate need to remain a lurker. My goal was to just read and consume, rather than engage. I comment on a few things here or there, but it’s been nice knowing that I don’t have to enter every conversation on the defense. I appreciate the moderators and the work to keeping things respectful. Day by day, I think I begin to view Tildes as a trip to the local cafe, or bar. Everyone here feels like a person that I can relate to in some way, shape, or form.
Thanks for the advice, and I’m looking forward to continuing to grow on here and learn more.
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Comment on Creatives, how do you feel about the impact of artificial intelligence on the future of art, illustration and design? in ~creative
Zelkova Link ParentI still don’t feel one way or the other. Much in the way I don’t find AI art all that inspiring, it’s the same for written art. I think intention is the most important element when we are talking...I still don’t feel one way or the other. Much in the way I don’t find AI art all that inspiring, it’s the same for written art. I think intention is the most important element when we are talking about art.
AI doesn’t have experiences, memories, thoughts, or anything like that. All creatives draw from their collective experiences, memories, feelings, etc. anything. I think an AI could probably create a whole novel, but there is just more to art in general than being able to organize a bunch of random thoughts together in a readable manner.
Do I think it will always be this way? Maybe not. I follow the discussion around AI pretty closely, so only time will tell really.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
Zelkova Link ParentI am in the same boat. I have a dentist appointment that day and just decided to take the whole day off, so I’d get some time to play haha.I am in the same boat. I have a dentist appointment that day and just decided to take the whole day off, so I’d get some time to play haha.
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Comment on Why are we often hesitant to spend money on digital services? in ~tech
Zelkova LinkI think if we existed in an economic system where the goal of most business wasn’t to make infinitely more money, subscriptions might have worked. The general path of subscriptions are...I think if we existed in an economic system where the goal of most business wasn’t to make infinitely more money, subscriptions might have worked.
The general path of subscriptions are unsustainable in my eyes, and Netflix is a very solid example of this. Many people derided them (I’m not saying I agree with their decision) for locking down on the password sharing, but what is the next logical step to keep making more money? Once you’ve saturated the market, once you’ve increased the price to the edge? What comes next? When the goal is to just make more money quarter over quarter someone is gonna have to pay more and it’s going to be the consumer.
If we lived in a world where companies were reasonable, and not seeking endless profit, it might be an easier sell.
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Comment on What was the most valuable technique you have learnt to manage or improve your mental health? in ~health.mental
Zelkova LinkOwning and caring for plants. Beyond the obvious medicine and therapy, I think everyone should take care of a plant. I think it’s hard to conceptualize the effect you can have on the world, and...Owning and caring for plants.
Beyond the obvious medicine and therapy, I think everyone should take care of a plant. I think it’s hard to conceptualize the effect you can have on the world, and that leads to feelings of helplessness. When you grow a plant, the change is visible each day. You can see the effects of your interactions with the plant.
When the first flower buds, the stem finally sprouts from the soil, or the first leaf unfurls itself, it’s really a testament to how we can affect change in our daily lives in a small way.
It has helped me in a bigger way to understand that things do change, and it takes care, understanding, and patience to get there. While that all seems painfully obvious, it wasn’t until I successfully planted a few very easy to maintain plants, that the illustration became clear to me.
I think taking care of something beyond yourself that doesn’t demand a ton of your attention each day has really grounded me, and made it easier for me to move through each day.
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Comment on I'm about to move away from my family. What should I know about living alone that no one told you before you started? in ~life
Zelkova LinkWhen I moved away from my parents I wasn’t nearly as far as you, but something that really helped me out when I moved was plants. I got a few plants that were low maintenance, and the routine of...When I moved away from my parents I wasn’t nearly as far as you, but something that really helped me out when I moved was plants. I got a few plants that were low maintenance, and the routine of taking care of them was helpful for me. I would get up early have a cup of coffee and just chat to the plants. It was a small way for me to take care of something other than myself.
Now I live with my girlfriend and I had a lapse of time without plants, but I’m getting back into it and it’s the same feeling as I had before.
There is no good answer to this question because I think suicide is a symptom of the current societal structure. There is no support for so many people at every level. As someone that has struggled with ideation before, knows people who went down that hole, and knows people who succeeded, it’s never their fault.
I don’t think an individual really should get involved in any lasting or meaningful way. They need a health professional, as no single person is prepared to handle the level of care required. If I had to give any piece of advice it would be to always be kind to as many people as you possibly can. You have no clue the number of people you bump into on a daily basis that struggle with this. Holding the door, picking up something someone has dropped, complimenting someone’s clothes could all save someone’s life.
On a societal level, we need to combat situations of helplessness as that is where much of this is born from. In the US specifically there are no safety nets, at any given time, you are always a few steps from poverty. We don’t look at mental health as just health and that is part of the problem. In the end, suicide is a symptom of a very very broken system that abuses and abandons millions.