ducc's recent activity

  1. Comment on Double pendulums are not chaotic in ~science

    ducc
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    Wow. I haven't seen this channel before - definitely sub-worthy stuff. I really loved the music and the creative use of sound throughout. It's sort of psychedelic in a way.

    Wow. I haven't seen this channel before - definitely sub-worthy stuff. I really loved the music and the creative use of sound throughout. It's sort of psychedelic in a way.

    6 votes

  2. Comment on Sidephone - Your simple second phone in ~tech

    ducc
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    I don't have any useful commentary to provide, but - is that files app icon just ripped directly from iOS..?

    I don't have any useful commentary to provide, but - is that files app icon just ripped directly from iOS..?

    7 votes

  3. Comment on Viagra Boys - Uno II (2025) in ~music

    ducc
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    I'm seeing them on tour in October, and I can't wait. I absolutely loved Cave World and I can't wait for the rest of the album to release!

    I'm seeing them on tour in October, and I can't wait. I absolutely loved Cave World and I can't wait for the rest of the album to release!

    1 vote

  4. Comment on Dating & ghosting people in ~life

    ducc
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    Of course, and I'm lucky enough to have never been in a situation like that. It can be also be hard to tell how someone might react if you haven't known them for long.

    Of course, and I'm lucky enough to have never been in a situation like that. It can be also be hard to tell how someone might react if you haven't known them for long.

    2 votes

  5. Comment on Dating & ghosting people in ~life

    ducc
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    Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, I was really really worried before this conversation because I had no clue how it would go - and I'm glad it went as well as it did. It definitely could've gone...

    Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, I was really really worried before this conversation because I had no clue how it would go - and I'm glad it went as well as it did. It definitely could've gone worse. I could see someone avoiding that because it's easier to just ignore it.

    6 votes

  6. Comment on Dating & ghosting people in ~life

    ducc
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    That makes sense. I'm trying to think about how I'd feel if someone did it to me - maybe a bit disappointed, but it wouldn't be the end of the world, I guess. This whole thing feels like a result...

    That makes sense. I'm trying to think about how I'd feel if someone did it to me - maybe a bit disappointed, but it wouldn't be the end of the world, I guess. This whole thing feels like a result of online dating making people feel more like commodities than actual people.

    11 votes

  7. Dating & ghosting people

    ~life Text 407 words
    I've been seeing this girl that I met on hinge for about a month and a half or so. We've hung out a couple times a week during this period, had deep conversations, gotten to know each other...

    I've been seeing this girl that I met on hinge for about a month and a half or so. We've hung out a couple times a week during this period, had deep conversations, gotten to know each other better, had sex, etc etc. However, I ultimately realized I wasn't feeling it, and tonight, I went to her place and told her. I was a bit nervous as I am pretty new to dating dating, and I wasn't sure how she'd take it. (My only relationship was for three years in college with someone I met through school, so I've never really gone on "dates" before, if that makes sense). She said she was a bit disappointed and surprised by this since it was going well, but she was ultimately cool about it. I stayed for a bit, and we talked about what online dating is like.

    She said that she appreciated me coming over to tell her this, because I was the only guy that she's seen for about this long that didn't ghost her. I actually didn't believe her at first. But, I talked to my friends, and it sounds like this is just an accepted thing that happens with online dating?

    Maybe I'm naive, but it feels strange. When you bump into a stranger on the sidewalk, you say "sorry" - but if you've been seeing someone multiple times a week for a month and been intimate with each other, you just stop texting them back? It feels like not giving someone the common courtesy of even just a text message letting them know you're not interested is almost like not seeing them as a person, even less so than the stranger you bumped into on the sidewalk who you acknowledged.

    Maybe I'm just new to this, but online dating feels a bit broken. Is ghosting really as common as people seem to say it is? Am I overreacting and making a bigger deal out of this than it actually is? I'm in the bay area, is this a localized phenomenon? I'm not sure. In either case, I think I'm done touching dating apps for a while. I've met a handful of cool people through them and had my fun, but it's just exhausting. I'd rather let something happen naturally.

    I guess this post is more of a rant than anything, but maybe some others with more experience than I have some useful insight to share.

    31 votes

  8. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
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    Hey, I've passed by that place before! My roommates from an internship last summer (sadly none of which ended up staying here) and I always talked about going but never did. Guess I'll have to...

    Hey, I've passed by that place before! My roommates from an internship last summer (sadly none of which ended up staying here) and I always talked about going but never did. Guess I'll have to make it out there.

  9. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
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    I see, good to know! Hadn't heard of Lex before, I'll have to check it out. Thanks for the info :)

    I see, good to know! Hadn't heard of Lex before, I'll have to check it out. Thanks for the info :)

    3 votes

  10. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
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    Thanks for the recommendation! Board game cafes are always a blast, I'll be sure to check it out.

    Thanks for the recommendation! Board game cafes are always a blast, I'll be sure to check it out.

    3 votes

  11. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
    Link Parent
    I am queer (bisexual & haven't entirely figured out the whole gender thing for myself yet). I'm not looking to date / hookup for the most part at the moment though - I'm still finding myself after...

    I am queer (bisexual & haven't entirely figured out the whole gender thing for myself yet). I'm not looking to date / hookup for the most part at the moment though - I'm still finding myself after my 3-year-long relationship ended.

    I enjoy drinking socially and live music - prog/noise & hyperpop are my scene (had fun at a King Gizz concert @ Stanford recently, but I went with a coworker who was a bit weirded out by the crowd so we didn't end up mingling). There's a machine girl show in SF I'd like to go to, but I'll unfortunately be out of town, so I'll keep my eyes open for more. Hobby-wise, I had a lot of fun writing & editing for my school's satire paper in college (which is where I met most of my friends), though that's a bit hard to replicate outside of school. I'd like to exercise my art & music muscles more, so I'm thinking about taking a class if I can find one that fits my schedule. I also enjoy hiking and being outdoors, though I suppose those aren't super conducive to meeting new people. Beyond that, I enjoy video games, reading, and cooking - but those don't tend to be super social activities.

    2 votes

  12. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
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    Best of luck to you as well! Activist groups are definitely a good idea. A huge chunk of my college friends came from our school's satire paper that I was on the editorial board for. It wasn't an...

    Best of luck to you as well! Activist groups are definitely a good idea. A huge chunk of my college friends came from our school's satire paper that I was on the editorial board for. It wasn't an "activist group" per se - but it was a good way to meet people with similar beliefs and to draw attention to important issues both on campus and in the world at large. Plus it was pretty therapeutic to punch up at those in power through humor. It would be great if I could find something like that again outside of the confines of a college campus.

    2 votes

  13. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
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    Interesting! I've never looked into curling before, sounds like it could be fun. Thanks for the info :)

    Interesting! I've never looked into curling before, sounds like it could be fun. Thanks for the info :)

    1 vote

  14. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
    Link Parent
    Don't know how I missed your reply earlier, thanks for the recommendations! Sounds fun. Bike meet-ups and dance seem to be big around these parts :)

    Don't know how I missed your reply earlier, thanks for the recommendations! Sounds fun. Bike meet-ups and dance seem to be big around these parts :)

    4 votes

  15. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
    Link Parent
    Oh, definitely. It took me a couple years to find a group in college (not that COVID helped at all with that), so I've been through this struggle before. I shouldn't be so impatient, probably.

    Oh, definitely. It took me a couple years to find a group in college (not that COVID helped at all with that), so I've been through this struggle before. I shouldn't be so impatient, probably.

    3 votes

  16. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
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    Hey, I was looking at the studio! It's pretty close to me - the only thing is that climbing isn't the cheapest hobby to get into, but I'd be lying if I said that I'm not a huge fan of scurrying up...

    Hey, I was looking at the studio! It's pretty close to me - the only thing is that climbing isn't the cheapest hobby to get into, but I'd be lying if I said that I'm not a huge fan of scurrying up vertical surfaces, so I'll take another look. Thanks as well for the Americorp recommendation - I'll definitely check it out. And bike groups / meets keep coming up, so I'll definitely have to check those out. Santa Cruz was also on my radar - I know a handful of folks from there (but unfortunately none that currently live there). But, the lack of train access and traffic makes it a pretty hard sell in terms of commute.

    It's good to hear there are other "weirdos" around here too - and I figured there are - the trick is just finding the right place to meet them. I also don't want to be too narrow-minded about the kinds of folks I'll be friends with, but it is difficult to make close friends with people you don't share ideals with. I figure moving to a place like SF/Berkeley gives me a better chance of doing so, but I shouldn't give up so early down here, I guess. Thanks again for the info :)

    7 votes

  17. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
    Link Parent
    Thanks for the info :) I'm thinking about breaking my lease, but it'll require 60 days notice + two months rent and I lose my security deposit, so it would be quite the hit. I could pay it, but it...

    Thanks for the info :) I'm thinking about breaking my lease, but it'll require 60 days notice + two months rent and I lose my security deposit, so it would be quite the hit. I could pay it, but it would be a lot and pretty much wipe out my savings. Subleasing isn't allowed here by my lease either :( One option I'm looking into is finding a roommate so I would save money (and my social life) by breaking my lease, but I've been burned by random Facebook/Craigslist/internet roommates before so I'm being careful. I'm definitely regretting living alone at this point, especially since I'm spending way more on rent than I probably should be. But, I had pretty terrible/inconsiderate roommates in college (we had to find our own housing off-campus after the second year) so the idea & ability to have my own space seemed tempting at the time.

    I won't be around next weekend, otherwise, I'd definitely take you up on your offer, thank you! Maybe some other time. I will definitely be socially commuting to SF for the foreseeable future. New Caltrain definitely makes that a lot easier, and I live reasonably close to Diridon so it's easy for me to take it up. Noisebridge sounds cool too, I'll have to check it out! That game group sounds fun too - it may be a bit difficult for me if it's on weekdays, but if you'd like to DM me more info I'd definitely appreciate it :)

    12 votes

  18. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
    Link Parent
    Thanks for the info! Berkeley is great - my only worry is that it would be an even longer commute to work, but if I find an area I like, I'll make it work. The prop 36 map is a good proxy for...

    Thanks for the info! Berkeley is great - my only worry is that it would be an even longer commute to work, but if I find an area I like, I'll make it work. The prop 36 map is a good proxy for mapping out progressives, haha.

    I'll take my current lease in San Jose as an opportunity to spend weekends hopping on Caltrain / BART and poking around places to figure out where to live next.

    4 votes

  19. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
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    Thanks for reading and the response. I suppose I should be more open minded. College sort of forces you to meet people who are mostly your age, and I guess I was used to that. I'd love to take a...

    Thanks for reading and the response. I suppose I should be more open minded. College sort of forces you to meet people who are mostly your age, and I guess I was used to that. I'd love to take a class, but unfortunately they don't offer anything like that as far as I can tell. But things like cooking / pottery / etc classes are definitely on my radar as well.

    7 votes

  20. Comment on Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely in ~life

    ducc
    Link Parent
    Ah! I don't want to freak you out, my post was really negative. If you're looking at the same thing after college, I guess my only advice would be to trust your gut (and folks online) about where...

    Ah! I don't want to freak you out, my post was really negative. If you're looking at the same thing after college, I guess my only advice would be to trust your gut (and folks online) about where to live, if you have options.

    5 votes