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  • Showing only topics with the tag "relationships". Back to normal view
    1. How to date when you're pushing forty?

      Semi-throwaway cause you'll see. I used to know my way around dating. I felt some control over my projected image. Witty yet humble, respectful yet naughty, interesting yet safe. Just the right...

      Semi-throwaway cause you'll see.

      I used to know my way around dating. I felt some control over my projected image. Witty yet humble, respectful yet naughty, interesting yet safe. Just the right amount. I made no promises, but relationships were never of the table — and I had quite a few. I was frank, true and kind. Telling the truth about my intentions was both liberating and effective. Ladies liked it.

      Maybe that's a consequence of age, but the shtick is not working anymore. Most women my age (and in my location) seem to expect someone more "mature", someone to marry with, or at least someone that is willing to become a father figure for their children. IDK. But I'm not that guy. Going after younger women is a double-edged sword since I'll have to deal with growing pains I have long left behind. And it's not like they're too interested in me anyway. I refuse to believe that marriage and fatherhood are necessary steps for maturity, but sometimes this seems like an inevitability. And it's not like I blame women for wanting that: it's within their right to want whatever suits them. And I want their company. I just don't want to participate in the big project.

      I do not believe in marriage, the same way I do not invest in any large project with such a slim chance of success (and for me divorce is only one of many ways a marriage can fail). I absolutely do not judge anyone who chooses to become married, but it's not for me.

      So hence the question: how to date when you're pushing forty?

      17 votes
    2. fire

      This is a reflection of what building friendships and close relationships is like for me. Mental health makes everything much harder, but I keep trying. it shines and blazes such light and warmth...

      This is a reflection of what building friendships and close relationships is like for me. Mental health makes everything much harder, but I keep trying.

      it shines and blazes
      such light and warmth
      stories told round the hearth
      cold nights kept a safe distance away
      beauty in chaotic dancing patterns
      it promises everything all at once
      no regard for consequences or the future
      just passion in the moment
      no foresight, only enthralling abandon
      its wake is ash
      empty, cold, dead
      no energy
      never burn again
      it destroys what it loves
      what it needs
      not because it wants to
      because it is
      destruction guised as passion
      
      8 votes