X08's recent activity

  1. Comment on Avoidant personality disorder vs (covert) narcissist accusations in ~health.mental

    X08
    Link Parent
    Ohh, yea. It's weird how I only focused on the person I usually am and want to be rather than looking at the past year. Internet hugs <3

    Ohh, yea. It's weird how I only focused on the person I usually am and want to be rather than looking at the past year.

    Internet hugs <3

    3 votes

  2. Comment on Avoidant personality disorder vs (covert) narcissist accusations in ~health.mental

    X08
    Link Parent
    Thank you for your personal story. It means a lot. I haven't had a lot of drama in life luckily but I do worry a lot and will be anxious about doing the wrong things which causes a lot of stress.

    Thank you for your personal story. It means a lot. I haven't had a lot of drama in life luckily but I do worry a lot and will be anxious about doing the wrong things which causes a lot of stress.

    2 votes

  3. Comment on Avoidant personality disorder vs (covert) narcissist accusations in ~health.mental

    X08
    Link Parent
    The silly thing with this very kind comment is that my brain has trouble accepting it as truth. So naturally my brain is inclined to believe I make everyone else out to be believe that I'm a good...

    The silly thing with this very kind comment is that my brain has trouble accepting it as truth. So naturally my brain is inclined to believe I make everyone else out to be believe that I'm a good person while covering up the narcissistic traits. Though I really have a hard time believing I put myself over others, since my personality disorder says the complete opposite. I want to accommodate to make others feel great, and through that I might feel a sense of acceptance. This probably stems from a lack of being proud of myself and during my upbringing not having the acknowledgement of my achievements.

    I don't believe I'm narcissistic. I just want my friend to be happy. Being vain is what people tend to be from time to time. Being selfish is what people do from time to time. These are normal states of being. And hurling around these fairly heavy labels can be harmful. So in this case I do believe my friend made a mistake, maybe through his willingness to help me out but not knowing how to.

    I ended up doing a suicide attempt but I made it through and called for help.

    2 votes

  4. Avoidant personality disorder vs (covert) narcissist accusations

    ~health.mental Text 222 words
    Hey all, Recently I've had a really dark period from (ab)using drugs to hide from the pain and feel good about myself. Friends noticed me becoming distant and needlessly shouting into the (social...

    Hey all,

    Recently I've had a really dark period from (ab)using drugs to hide from the pain and feel good about myself. Friends noticed me becoming distant and needlessly shouting into the (social media) void.
    One friend wrote me a long message about all these things and his conclusion was that he thought I might be a narcissist. I broke down entirely, the following days were a roller coaster ride of trying to deal with it with high and lows, talking to friends if they also noticed these things but ultimately I couldn't shake the feeling that I had to give in to my friend's accusation to mend our now wounded relationship. People pleasing is in my nature and putting others in front of my own needs is what I deal with and I cope with low self-esteem.

    My therapists all said that the accusations is not something they can see myself in but regardless of this I ended up having a suicide attempt. I saw myself as a bad person and that feeling became over-encumbering.

    I'm better now, and I feel closer to friends and family after some much needed talks and quitting drugs altogether.

    That said, what are your takes on the overlapping diagnoses. It made myself very paranoid and made me spiral at a low point.

    16 votes

  5. Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (July 2024) in ~health.mental

    X08
    Link Parent
    Because of my personality (disorder)? I'm incredibly self-conscience and lack so much self-esteem validation had to always be gained through others. The second that falls away I don't really have...

    Because of my personality (disorder)? I'm incredibly self-conscience and lack so much self-esteem validation had to always be gained through others. The second that falls away I don't really have any reason to exist. It's something I'm working on, but acutely aware of NOT to dump on someone else.

    3 votes

  6. Comment on Japan's mini kei truck sales surge in US despite safety concerns in ~transport

    X08
    Link Parent
    the downside of the NP6 chassis is that it doesn't come with a full van body. It's only available as a flatbed option which sucks if you'd like to haul people around or do a camper conversion....

    the downside of the NP6 chassis is that it doesn't come with a full van body. It's only available as a flatbed option which sucks if you'd like to haul people around or do a camper conversion. Here's hoping they realize the demand for a closed cabin version is popular enough to warrant making them.

    2 votes

  7. Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (July 2024) in ~health.mental

    X08
    Link Parent
    I really really wish they can see past the veil of negativity and lack of career and would be willing to engage with someone like that. I'm super empathetic and have wouldn't hurt a fly and I...

    I really really wish they can see past the veil of negativity and lack of career and would be willing to engage with someone like that. I'm super empathetic and have wouldn't hurt a fly and I still have a nice personality so I really reallyyyyyy hope it all works out T_T

    4 votes

  8. Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (July 2024) in ~health.mental

    X08
    Link
    Last week I really went out and about to express myself, dress well, sit the right way and people genuinely felt like I was more open and accessible. I felt appalled; why would it matter how I...

    Last week I really went out and about to express myself, dress well, sit the right way and people genuinely felt like I was more open and accessible. I felt appalled; why would it matter how I dress the way people will perceive me. Long story short, I crashed this weekend. I'm right back towards my rock bottom. I took my drug of choice to just waft away all the negativity and just dream blissfully, to then realize life will carry on as always.

    I'm in the process of dating someone who is really awesome and cute but I feel my lack of work will have a negative impact on how they might perceive me.

    Anyway.. Bottomline is I feel like shit again. 2/10, would not recommend my life experience.

    5 votes

  9. Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (July 2024) in ~health.mental

  10. Comment on Japan's mini kei truck sales surge in US despite safety concerns in ~transport

    X08
    Link Parent
    I really enjoy my Piaggio Porter. I bought it together with my mom after my dad sadly passed away. Their previous campervan was way too much for her alone so we opted to get something smaller. And...

    I really enjoy my Piaggio Porter. I bought it together with my mom after my dad sadly passed away. Their previous campervan was way too much for her alone so we opted to get something smaller. And since the whole tiny house movement was gaining traction a few years back I also looked up some smaller cars. Ended up with a kei truck of my own and I love it to bits. It's super practical and I customized it to fit a bed for two along with a tiny kitchen. Now it's a mini campervan that chugs along the european roads.

    4 votes

  11. Comment on More than 550 hajj pilgrims die in Mecca as temperatures exceed 50C in ~news

    X08
    Link
    May they rest in peace. I have no things to add since I'd be looking at this with western goggles.

    May they rest in peace. I have no things to add since I'd be looking at this with western goggles.

    24 votes

  12. Comment on What have you been eating, drinking, and cooking? in ~food

    X08
    Link
    Oats with Yoghurt and Green Tea mostly. For dinner it's whatever I like since the rest of the day is so barren with salt or sugars. But I like lentils, beans and the occasional piece of meat.

    Oats with Yoghurt and Green Tea mostly. For dinner it's whatever I like since the rest of the day is so barren with salt or sugars. But I like lentils, beans and the occasional piece of meat.

  13. Comment on What slow-burn game is worth the time? in ~games

    X08
    Link Parent
    Try giving Hardmode a try :)) it'll really up that realism factor ten fold. It might suck to do Michigan again but it scales much better with unlocks. As soon as you're done with Alaska and you...

    Try giving Hardmode a try :)) it'll really up that realism factor ten fold. It might suck to do Michigan again but it scales much better with unlocks. As soon as you're done with Alaska and you have a shitload of good trucks, the game's difficulty just slowly drifts away and won't come back.

  14. Comment on Pride Month at Tildes: #4 - What's something you wish more people understood? in ~lgbt

    X08
    Link
    That being queer isn't all rainbows and unicorns. My life path is entirely non-standard and the hardships are almost too hard to bare. Acceptance of diversity, knowledge of its existence might've...

    That being queer isn't all rainbows and unicorns. My life path is entirely non-standard and the hardships are almost too hard to bare. Acceptance of diversity, knowledge of its existence might've helped me 25 years ago but what has happened happened and dealing with all that likely will make me not have a chance of finding a partner in time to have a lovely family of my own with, own a house, have a normal job etc. That is a reality I have a hard time to consider let alone even accept.

    7 votes

  15. Comment on What slow-burn game is worth the time? in ~games

    X08
    (edited )
    Link
    Snowrunner if you're into trucks hauling their cargo through deep mud and difficult terrain. Missions can easily take up to an hour to fulfill and the maps are huge. There is progression in the...

    Snowrunner if you're into trucks hauling their cargo through deep mud and difficult terrain. Missions can easily take up to an hour to fulfill and the maps are huge. There is progression in the form of vehicles more suited for the rougher terrain as well as upgrades that make things easier. Fun with friends too!

    What stood out to me is that there is no hard pull to keep going, it's all at your own leisure. Just you and your vehicles, it calmed me to a point of enjoyment while still having a sense of fulfillment be it still a videogame but I digress.

    10 votes

  16. Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music

    X08
    Link
    The latest entries in my massive Trance playlist on Spotify along with Sleep Token. The guy's vocals are something else and the sound they have is so refreshing.

    The latest entries in my massive Trance playlist on Spotify along with Sleep Token. The guy's vocals are something else and the sound they have is so refreshing.

  17. Comment on What do you think is the mindset of the banally evil? in ~talk

    X08
    Link Parent
    it's a belief for a reason, not fact :) I very much acknowledge other ideas existing.

    it's a belief for a reason, not fact :) I very much acknowledge other ideas existing.

    4 votes

  18. Comment on What do you think is the mindset of the banally evil? in ~talk

    X08
    Link Parent
    I very much doubt the existence of 'ethical billionaires'. To me, having that extra dollar when someone else is without it goes against my morality. What gives me the right to have that extra...

    I very much doubt the existence of 'ethical billionaires'. To me, having that extra dollar when someone else is without it goes against my morality. What gives me the right to have that extra dollar when someone else might be in desperate need of it and now would be starving.

    9 votes

  19. Comment on Join me as I build a small gothic cathedral with flying buttresses and spires galore with Tiny Glade's minimal tools in ~games

    X08
    Link Parent
    Fair :)) thank you for clarifying <3

    Fair :)) thank you for clarifying <3

    2 votes

  20. Comment on Join me as I build a small gothic cathedral with flying buttresses and spires galore with Tiny Glade's minimal tools in ~games

    X08
    Link
    I don't understand the title of this post. Sylvarret is a Dutch youtuber. But the title suggests it is your video and it has a sweden tag. I'm a little confused :P Maybe you can shed some light on...

    I don't understand the title of this post. Sylvarret is a Dutch youtuber. But the title suggests it is your video and it has a sweden tag. I'm a little confused :P Maybe you can shed some light on this?

    2 votes