Grzmot's recent activity

  1. Comment on You’re 16. You’re a pedophile. You don’t want to hurt anyone. What do you do now? in ~life

    Grzmot
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    That's also how I read it. This makes sense because most conventional pornography is made to be consumed by cis men, and is very much so shot in the way where the viewers put themselves in the...

    My first thought, though, was that they had meant not to identify with the perpetrators in pornography, but instead to identify with the victims.

    That's also how I read it. This makes sense because most conventional pornography is made to be consumed by cis men, and is very much so shot in the way where the viewers put themselves in the shoes of the male performer. Even framing that isn't a direct point of view from the male actor, he is essentially a replacable puppet.

    In the context of child sexual abuse material, it's even more important to identify with the victim. People not aroused by it are going to do this naturally, but I imagine that's why the therapist suggests it as a strategy. Instead of the pedophile focusing on the arousal, they focus on the empathy for the victim.

    But I guess I don't understand how sexual and pornographic addiction works. Does empathy not influence the urges?

    Layman opinion; but any addiction is an escape from something. That's why you can get addicted to everything, not just drugs, but even behaviors. Eventually, the addiction might even become self-reinforcing: You're killing the shame that you've fallen this low by taking drugs/doing something with another high.

  2. Comment on You’re 16. You’re a pedophile. You don’t want to hurt anyone. What do you do now? in ~life

    Grzmot
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    The people described in this piece are far away from hurting someone, beyond downloading child sexual abuse material (CSAM) and viewing it, which, if it happens over peer-to-peer networks,...

    The people described in this piece are far away from hurting someone, beyond downloading child sexual abuse material (CSAM) and viewing it, which, if it happens over peer-to-peer networks, implicates you because you also become a host from which others can download CSAM from.

    I do like the parallel you draw to pilots here. It's a less fucked up, but similarly problematic situation. A commercial pilot's license is around 100k, and many who get this education and enter this career do so because it's a lifelong dream. Getting kicked out because you did the right thing and admit to having issues you need help with, is a terrible fate. It blocks you from a good career, throws you into dire economic circumstances at a time you need help, and also stops you from following your dream.

    1 vote
  3. Comment on You’re 16. You’re a pedophile. You don’t want to hurt anyone. What do you do now? in ~life

    Grzmot
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    I think there's a unique concoction of shame involved here, though. Yes, pedophiles aren't rampaging monsters who's humanity holds them back until they snap and grab the nearest child, But we're...

    I think there's a unique concoction of shame involved here, though. Yes, pedophiles aren't rampaging monsters who's humanity holds them back until they snap and grab the nearest child, But we're also systematically depriving them of professional help that I think will set a few on such a path.

    They are individuals with agency and I'm not absolving them of that, but there's something corrosive about growing up with this, not wanting to do any harm and literally everyone else expecting you to. The easiest way to break a person is to wrong them when they want to do good in particular.

    3 votes
  4. Comment on You’re 16. You’re a pedophile. You don’t want to hurt anyone. What do you do now? in ~life

    Grzmot
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    This is a more than decade old article that I read at the time of publication when someone posted it on reddit. I bookmarked it; as this was a period of my life where I saved really good articles...

    This is a more than decade old article that I read at the time of publication when someone posted it on reddit. I bookmarked it; as this was a period of my life where I saved really good articles for future re-reading. I recently delved into my bookmarks looking for something else entirely, and re-discovered this thing. My first reaction was shock, my second was shame; I instinctively imagined what someone else would think of me if they saw this thing in my bookmarks.

    Curiosity won though, and I re-read the article. It's a good one, and given it's age, it also made me wonder where the subjects of it are by now. The researcher was easy to find, and it seems she still leads the center of child abuse prevention. But I wonder about the rest, too. Soon it's going to be 12 years.

    8 votes
  5. Comment on The drug that taught me how much I should suffer in ~health

    Grzmot
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    I've had this thread and article in my tabs for weeks, but only got around to reading it now. It's a really fantastic piece of writing, a wonderful observation brought across in a digestible...

    I've had this thread and article in my tabs for weeks, but only got around to reading it now. It's a really fantastic piece of writing, a wonderful observation brought across in a digestible format.

    I really wish I had more to say on this, but there's nothing to critique here. The lessons are all correct, the only thing is that sometimes, unforseen circumstances can fuck you over even after you've gone through your gauntlet of suffering. We are the captains of our own destiny, but the first officer is still life.

    Thank you for sharing this.

    2 votes
  6. Comment on Exposing the YouTube sponsor "Honey" Part 2: Stealing private coupon codes, extreme data harvesting, and more in ~tech

    Grzmot
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    This is part 2 of MegaLag's earlier video that made big waves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc4yL3YTwWk I editorialized the title because as a creator MegaLag is unfortunately beholden to the...

    This is part 2 of MegaLag's earlier video that made big waves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc4yL3YTwWk

    I editorialized the title because as a creator MegaLag is unfortunately beholden to the Algorithm™, which includes his choice of thumbnail, which we are luckily spared here. However the video is in-depth, and is not edited in the sensationalist style the thumbnail and title would led you to believe.

    That being said, I respect the man for dropping part 1 a year ago, going silent since then and just now releasing part 2.

    9 votes
  7. Comment on Vince Zampella killed in Ferrari crash in ~games

    Grzmot
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    Yeah absolutely. Apparently Zampella was an avid car enthusiast with racing track experience, but the video makes it seem like exactly what you describe. A gross miscalculation in a car and with...

    Yeah absolutely. Apparently Zampella was an avid car enthusiast with racing track experience, but the video makes it seem like exactly what you describe. A gross miscalculation in a car and with speed that permits none.

    2 votes
  8. Comment on Vince Zampella killed in Ferrari crash in ~games

    Grzmot
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    There's a video of the crash making the rounds: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/WUIYLmIZVfE Shows the crash from a distance and someone getting pulled out still in the seat. No gore or blood, but...

    There's a video of the crash making the rounds: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/WUIYLmIZVfE

    Shows the crash from a distance and someone getting pulled out still in the seat. No gore or blood, but you're obviously still watching a car crash with two confirmed deaths, discretion advised.

    According to reports Zampella died still in the vehicle and the other person was flung out.

    What a pointless death.

    2 votes
  9. Comment on The pointe shoe makers of Hackney in ~life

    Grzmot
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    Thank you! I hope it gave you some fuzzy good memories, it's that time of the year after all. :)

    Thank you! I hope it gave you some fuzzy good memories, it's that time of the year after all. :)

    1 vote
  10. Comment on The pointe shoe makers of Hackney in ~life

    Grzmot
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    At least one mentioned six day workweeks. That's what I was mostly referring to.

    At least one mentioned six day workweeks. That's what I was mostly referring to.

    1 vote
  11. Comment on The pointe shoe makers of Hackney in ~life

    Grzmot
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    Despite the harsh working conditions on display here, I found this text to be a heartwarming handshake across social boundaries. The tough blue collar workers meeting with and being appreciated by...

    Despite the harsh working conditions on display here, I found this text to be a heartwarming handshake across social boundaries. The tough blue collar workers meeting with and being appreciated by the ballerinas for whom they make shoes that last only such a brief amount of time. I love how most of them don't really go to ballet, but that they enjoy personally meeting the dancers.

    I enjoyed this article due to the personal testemonials, but if you want some extra info in a video, Business Insider made a video on this some time ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tn1rN0tu1Ro

    3 votes
  12. Comment on The Windows 11 crisis in ~tech

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    That isn't wrong per se, but it's a fairly specific bubble. Most people use what you put in front of them.

    That isn't wrong per se, but it's a fairly specific bubble. Most people use what you put in front of them.

  13. Comment on An analysis of Elon Musk's US "Department of Government Efficiency" (DOGE) in ~finance

    Grzmot
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    Patrick Boyle is a stock trader that has built up a successful side gig as a youtuber in the financial space and also a book author on stock trading. He's your typical free market capitalist, and...

    Patrick Boyle is a stock trader that has built up a successful side gig as a youtuber in the financial space and also a book author on stock trading. He's your typical free market capitalist, and while I don't always agree with his takes, he offers a reasonable, evidence-driven analysis from "the other side" that I appreciate.

    I opted to change the title to something less click-baity, as the title is not quite true. Musk doesn't admit that DOGE was a failure, he takes a face-saving approach of claiming that it saved some USD 200 billion, but that he wouldn't do it again. You can take it as an underhanded admittance, or as someone believing in his own lie.

    9 votes
  14. Comment on Critics Choice Awards nominations: ‘Sinners’ dominates with seventeen noms in ~movies

    Grzmot
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    I think Sinners edges out for me even though One Battle After Another is a good movie, mainly because I think Sinners is more timeless, but I also personally have an aversion to incompetent...

    I think Sinners edges out for me even though One Battle After Another is a good movie, mainly because I think Sinners is more timeless, but I also personally have an aversion to incompetent protagonists like Ghetto Pat in One Battle After Another.

    2 votes
  15. Comment on I fixed my lactose intolerance -- by chugging all the lactose in ~health

    Grzmot
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    As an enjoyer of milk, I'd rather do this than have to think about having lactase pills on me for the rest of my life.

    As an enjoyer of milk, I'd rather do this than have to think about having lactase pills on me for the rest of my life.

    8 votes
  16. Comment on I fixed my lactose intolerance -- by chugging all the lactose in ~health

    Grzmot
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    OP creates a cure* for lactose intelorance through the scientific application of straight up chugging it. And by it, I mean heavily concentrated powdered milk. *Using the term cure here with an...

    OP creates a cure* for lactose intelorance through the scientific application of straight up chugging it. And by it, I mean heavily concentrated powdered milk.

    *Using the term cure here with an artistic license. It may work for some, it might not for others.

    8 votes