Grzmot's recent activity

  1. Comment on I just released a new single with Vacant Sundays! in ~music

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    I love how the spark sounds sounds arythmic at the start and then falls into a rhythm. Do you work on stream often? Great work everyone involved!

    I love how the spark sounds sounds arythmic at the start and then falls into a rhythm. Do you work on stream often?

    Great work everyone involved!

    2 votes
  2. Comment on I just released a new single with Vacant Sundays! in ~music

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    I'm really digging the beat and melody. The video is great too, I love the playing around with light and colours. Your voice isn't my cup of tea, but that's a completely personal preference and...

    I'm really digging the beat and melody. The video is great too, I love the playing around with light and colours. Your voice isn't my cup of tea, but that's a completely personal preference and subjective. I don't listen to Billy Eilish for the same reason.

    The editing is also very crisp and works well together with the beat.

    What inspired you to make this song? There is usually some inspiration at the start. :)

    5 votes
  3. Comment on What's the most expensive food you splurge on to make you happy? in ~talk

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    Yeah I know the pain. I've now gotten mold on my Coco Lopez twice because I opened it to make a Pina Colada and then forgot about it. At least that's just a 5€ item but I already forced myself to...

    Yeah I know the pain. I've now gotten mold on my Coco Lopez twice because I opened it to make a Pina Colada and then forgot about it. At least that's just a 5€ item but I already forced myself to finish a Lillet Blanc that had been opened unchilled for too long and had a dark colour. It didn't taste too bad but still. There is also an open Sweet Vermouth, Aperol and Campari that all have too low alcohol contents that they can actually go bad.

    I'd recommend Mixel. It's an absolutely fantastic app with great devs that allows you to maximize your booze with a metric shitton of cocktail recipes drawn from books, the internet and even the official IBA recipes. And it searches based on the ingredients you have so you can select one you want to use up and find the cocktails that use it.

    If you have space to display your booze though, it becomes a legitimate way to spice up your kitchen though. Mine is hidden in cabinet right now though.

    4 votes
  4. Comment on What's the most expensive food you splurge on to make you happy? in ~talk

    Grzmot
    Link
    Booze. I like mixing cocktails and it's insane how fast you can burn through your bank if you don't buy the cheapest stuff, because up to a certain point, the differences in taste are extreme.

    Booze.

    I like mixing cocktails and it's insane how fast you can burn through your bank if you don't buy the cheapest stuff, because up to a certain point, the differences in taste are extreme.

    9 votes
  5. Comment on Where'd You Go? in ~life

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    It was more self censoring than anything. That's a stance I can live with. I don't even think it's very radical to say that both sides are valid. I'm sorry I don't have a more in-depth reply for...

    or whether this is some sort of self censure...

    It was more self censoring than anything.

    I'm going to take a bit of a radical stance here and say that both narratives are both important and valid and both should exist at the same time.

    That's a stance I can live with. I don't even think it's very radical to say that both sides are valid.

    I'm sorry I don't have a more in-depth reply for you. But thank you, honestly, for understanding.

    7 votes
  6. Comment on Where'd You Go? in ~life

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    That's actually a very good point. Neither comment would particularily offend me, as even though I most likely have a hand in the exploitation of this planet, animals or people through a couple of...

    How do you react to other similar sweeping statements? If someone says 'humans are cruel' or 'god I hate humanity' how does that make you feel? When people talk negatively about capitalism, how do you feel participating in a capitalistic society? Is there a level of specificity at which you take offense on behalf of your labels - if so, where is it?

    That's actually a very good point. Neither comment would particularily offend me, as even though I most likely have a hand in the exploitation of this planet, animals or people through a couple of corners, even though I try not that by trying to live in a way that does not exploit any further, there is no escaping that bar leaving society for good. And while I partake in capitalist society, I do not consider myself a capitalist, so I would not feel included in railings against capitalism eitherEAT THE RICH I say, being a member of the upper class in a rich European country, oh gods and would rail against it too, seeing the damage it has done, despite all the progress we have achieved with it.

    So as you ask, where the granularity lies and why, I don't know. It is one of my convictions that anger and rage come from two things: Attempting to do something earnestly and failing, or being treated unfairly, both of these can be linked, but don't have to. I like to think back on the study that was done if violent video games cause violence where the researchers found out that no, they don't, what causes people to be angry is being treated unfairly. They found this out by making the people play a particularly devious variation of Tetris, where instead of the piece-selection being random, it always gave you the worst piece possible. To say it bluntly: It's a game designed to treat you unfairly.

    I suppose this anger comes from the same place. I'm a '98 kid, so by the time I was really able to think about this topic without the hormones of puberty clouding my brain, outright hating them or saying grand sweeping statements about women has been shunned by the people around me. Making jokes that play off female stereotypes has been shunned as well (mostly, I won't say that I've never laughed at one of those, cause I have)1 and society in general seems to be moving in a better direction when it comes to these things, though it's doing it slowly, it's doing it.

    What I'm trying to say is that it feels unfair. Part of this idea of equality is that we treat everyone the same, so now it's unacceptable to say these things about women, but it's okay to say it about men, even going so far as that statement following a winding long intellectual essay about how it's okay to say it because it's somehow different. It is, if I am allowed to quote someone great on Tildes: it's wielded in a way that deliberately deals imprecise collateral damage while retreating to positions of precise interpretation as a way of maintaining moral authority. It feels deeply unfair because this idea of fighting for equality seems to have been contorted to allow those grand sweeping statements again, just this time the other way around. Instead of burying the hatchet, it feels like we're just handing it off to the "other side" to get butchered by it later on.

    The kicker is though, that I understand the difference, the power imbalance, the history. Okay I know about it, I won't claim that I understand it as if I have studied it my entire life. This is what I was trying to get at with the difference of feeling and knowing. I understand that my emotional reaction is kind of tribal and probably stupid. I know that those sweeping statements about men rarely come from a place of hate and more a place of frustration, like the humans are cruel comments. But it feels the same. I don't know how to resolve this dissonance. Should we just both sides this argument and say it's not okay for either side to do it? I don't know anymore. I've told myself to retreat from these discussions and all it took was one really good fucking comic to send me down here again. And ultimately my experience with these things is on the internet only. If I just stopped clicking on these threads, my experience with the ""radical feminists"" I wouldn't spend so long writing rambly comments that put me in mental places I'd prefer not to be and wouldn't be if I actually went outside. Oh wait there's a pandemic. Kill me.


    1 There are some great ones about men too. But I give humouristic language great leeway in such things.

    7 votes
  7. Comment on Where'd You Go? in ~life

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    A tale as old as time.

    Two of my friends significant others are particularly woke so that's likely where the seeding comes from.

    A tale as old as time.

    3 votes
  8. Comment on Where'd You Go? in ~life

    Grzmot
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    They already have, partially. My university has developed a program where no matter what degree you go for, you have to take a gender studies course. There is no way around that if you want a...

    They already have, partially. My university has developed a program where no matter what degree you go for, you have to take a gender studies course. There is no way around that if you want a degree from that university. Since I'm currently doing my master's degree1, I opted to go for a second different gender studies course, as of course the curriculum states that even master's students are strongly expected to take a gender studies course. In reality there is a singular professor leading a specific faculty who is the only one who enforces this policy (a man, btw) and who has let women out of this policy in the past, because well, they are women, in his own words.

    The two courses I took, the one in the bachelor's and the one in the master's, are equivalent to each other, however one is considerably easier at the cost of requiring phyiscal presence (now it's only presence via Zoom), as it does not feature a final exam and the workload consists of 2 1-2 page essays and a 15min presentation based on a total 3 publications and one documentary. The quality of that course is something to be debated about, but my point is already very long winded so I'll skip this (unless you care).

    What I'm getting at is that the overwhelming majority of students really does not care for this field at all but is forced to take it, resulting in people trying to optimize it as much as they can, taking the easier course and in general this requirement feeding a distaste for the subject rather than increasing engagement with it. So in a way, the people who want these ideas to be more popular have already succeeded in academia, but also kind of didn't.

    It's difficult to say if it will spread beyond the walls of the universities. My guess is not really, as there are plenty of ideas that have remained popular in academic circles and unpopular in the rest of the population and the whole gender is a social construct/a mix between social and biological thing/it being a spectrum discussion affects too small of a population for it to meaningfully spread.

    I honestly don't entirely know what my original point was. Probably something about how just increasing exposure to those ideas might not make them more popular or might even make them less popular. Apologies for being a rambling idiot.


    1 I think in American terms that's post graduate? Or is that a PhD? Bachelor's you get after 3 years and then Master's is 2 years, after that you'd be going for a doctorate.

    3 votes
  9. Comment on Where'd You Go? in ~life

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    Your experience may differ from mine, maybe it is because we live in different places. I'm not trying to invalidate your experiences and I hope it didn't come across this way. For me personally,...

    Your experience may differ from mine, maybe it is because we live in different places. I'm not trying to invalidate your experiences and I hope it didn't come across this way.

    For me personally, the only time I've even heard the term "toxic masculinity" be used was only ever online. If you're not into those types of discussions (and I'm usually not), I found it fairly simple to avoid. However I do not watch the news or TV in general, or the radio, so I might be isolated from the "mainstream" discussions.

    6 votes
  10. Comment on Where'd You Go? in ~life

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    I find myself agreeing with lots of comments in this post, even those that apparently oppose each other (in argument), like the comment you replied to and your reply to it. I suppose I can see the...

    I find myself agreeing with lots of comments in this post, even those that apparently oppose each other (in argument), like the comment you replied to and your reply to it. I suppose I can see the nuance and where everyone is coming from.

    5 votes
  11. Comment on Where'd You Go? in ~life

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    Not the person you replied to, but to cherry-pick this: There is a vast amount of people even in first world nations which simply ignore those social networks. Maybe they are on them, maybe not,...

    You mention the "hyper-online" as some sort of rarified breed but these days we are all hyper-online. Twitter is omni present. Everyone is on Facebook. We are constantly on Reddit. The perceptions and ideas pushed by the "Uber-woke" crowd are amplified repeatedly and permeate the societal conscious.

    Not the person you replied to, but to cherry-pick this: There is a vast amount of people even in first world nations which simply ignore those social networks. Maybe they are on them, maybe not, but they don't let influence their life this much.

    You can quit reddit without any consequence and a lot of drama will fade from your life because it simply has no bearing on it. Same with other social networks. The internet is important yes, but is possible live withhout social networks.

    Every single rabid feminist I have met has been on the internet. The women I know in real life are all pleasant and kind human beings, because here's the kicker, if I don't like a human being, male or female, I don't spend time with them. You have the choice to not expose yourself to these people, even if they get a platform on the internet because they cause drama and people flock to that.

    9 votes
  12. Comment on Where'd You Go? in ~life

    Grzmot
    (edited )
    Link
    This comic sent me on somewhat of a downward spiral. Not to raise that as a criticism against OP, it's a good comic and a valuable contribution to Tildes, it was just a personal reaction to it. I...

    This comic sent me on somewhat of a downward spiral. Not to raise that as a criticism against OP, it's a good comic and a valuable contribution to Tildes, it was just a personal reaction to it.

    I suppose it resonated with me because it got me to think if I ever did anything like that. I have reacted negatively to the whole "all men are trash" shtick in the past and will continue to, but I get that the people saying it kind of have a point. I understand the meaning. I understand who they mean. I understand that it's a general expression of frustration and that it's not meant for me because I'm probably one of the good ones (ew, I hate writing this), even though I post shit like this or this and it wouldn't surprise me if I was a driving factor in the exodus of minorities from this site. But I try to do good. The internet, even a civil place like Tildes, isn't real life, and I would ultimately consider that my internet persona is different from my real persona.

    But it still hurts. Because ultimately no matter how many complex academic arguments someone builds up to support such statements, to me it only looks like a house of cards, because I have heard and read the arguments now and I just can't agree. And I don't really shut up and be a good ally like the author of this comic. There's a good chance you've read one of my comments in that clusterfuck of a thread on misandry.

    Again; I get the difference. I understand that they are not the same. But I'm sorry, I can't remove that label of being a man from myself. So I'm afraid that I'll always feel included in the men are trash statement, even though I know that know that it's not meant like that. And as long as I have a shred of empathy left for this discussion, it will continue to sting.

    The only way for it to stop stinging is to remove myself completely from it. At least on internet discussions like this.

    10 votes
  13. Comment on Seven-year-old boy charged with rape in New York. Is arresting him the answer? in ~news

    Grzmot
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    How do you even charge a 7-year old, who is in an age well before puberty, with rape? Like, how does that work? On a biological level? I find it strange that this article is even asking this...

    How do you even charge a 7-year old, who is in an age well before puberty, with rape? Like, how does that work? On a biological level?

    I find it strange that this article is even asking this question as if there is some valid discussion to be had. Of course children have no fucking clue what they're doing, they're children. If you put them in jail you're just setting them up to be a life-long customer of the private prison complex in the US.

    17 votes
  14. Comment on The state of Arizona is preparing to kill death row inmates using hydrogen cyanide, the same lethal gas that was deployed at Auschwitz in ~news

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    Seconds is still better than gassing someone to death, which takes minutes. A death by firing squad aiming at the head sounds the most preferrable to me. If you want the quickest way to die, you...

    Seconds is still better than gassing someone to death, which takes minutes.

    A death by firing squad aiming at the head sounds the most preferrable to me. If you want the quickest way to die, you have to destroy the brain. A contraption similar to the guillotine where you drop a heavy enough block of stone or concrete on the head and eviscerate it completely might also be an option.

    That being said, capital punishment shouldn't exist either way. The only time I'm really torn on it is in cases where the perpetrator killed a lot of people and is unquestionably guilty. Anders Breivik comes to mind, or the Christchurch shooter. That being said, I still think that spending the rest of their lives in prison if they cannot be rehabilitated is a far worse punishment anyway.

    14 votes
  15. Comment on Should Tildes have rules for healthcare advice? in ~tildes

    Grzmot
    Link
    Tildes is an international lot, so national guidelines would make things a bit difficult. In general, unless someone explicit claims they are a healthcare professional (and even then, it's the...

    Tildes is an international lot, so national guidelines would make things a bit difficult.

    In general, unless someone explicit claims they are a healthcare professional (and even then, it's the internet), I'd assume that that person isn't and treat any advice as an unprofessional anecdotal thing.

    I think unless we'd implement a blanket "no healthcare advice" rule, it would be too hard to police.

    11 votes
  16. Comment on What's a cool and not-well-known thing that people can do with their phone/computer? in ~tech

    Grzmot
    Link
    The latest cool thing I did with my computer is change back the horrendous UI decisions that Spotify made with a plugin: Spicetify. Because of the way Spotify is coded, you can customize it to...

    The latest cool thing I did with my computer is change back the horrendous UI decisions that Spotify made with a plugin: Spicetify.

    Because of the way Spotify is coded, you can customize it to hell, and now my Spotify is pretty again. :D

    The set-up is a little finnicky, so if anyone needs help with that, hit me up! :)

    6 votes
  17. Comment on Feeling sad in ~talk

    Grzmot
    Link
    Unrequited love is one of the worst feelings our heart has in store for our mind. The good thing is, you already are on a good path to recovery, if you understand that you'll be fine eventually....

    Unrequited love is one of the worst feelings our heart has in store for our mind.

    The good thing is, you already are on a good path to recovery, if you understand that you'll be fine eventually. This advice is often repeated, but getting your mind off this thing and onto a different thing is usually the best action. If you have friends, they can help accelerate this process of making your heart understand what your mind already knows: That there is a light on the horizon, and what you are feeling now is simply a storm that will pass.

    This might sound like grand, empty words, but there is no way past those emotions. You simply have to feel them and move on.

    I’m feeling how I am afterwards is that I haven’t so suddenly felt as intensely interested in someone for possibly my entire life.

    Our mind often likes to interpret past missed opportunities as better than they actually were. Of course I don't know the details of the situation, only you do. I would not chase this feeling again, and focus on yourself instead.

    If I can help in any way with occupying you, let me know. I don't know if you play video games, or read books or watch movies, but if you don't have friends close to you to help you out with this, I can attempt my best to fill this role. Feel free to shoot my a private message if you are uncomfortable with a public thread.

    7 votes
  18. Comment on Ted Lasso actress Hannah Waddingham says she felt like she was being waterboarded while filming a torture scene on Game of Thrones in ~tv

    Grzmot
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    I don't understand this obsession to show everything on-screen. The scene as it exists, definitely implies enough to let the mind wander into those horrible places, and I'd argue that not showing...

    She did manage to clarify that the scene was originally planned to be even more horrific than what we ended up seeing on screen, as it was supposed to end with undead knight the Mountain (Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson) raping Unella, continuing Game of Thrones’ lurid obsession with showing women get sexually assaulted.

    I don't understand this obsession to show everything on-screen. The scene as it exists, definitely implies enough to let the mind wander into those horrible places, and I'd argue that not showing things is one of the first lessons in invoking horror. There is a reason that Alien remains an effective horror film, even after all those years, with it's special effects aging, and it's because the leaving the viewer in the dark, leaving it up to their imagination is the best way to scare them.

    You could've also done the scene separetely, close-up of Lena Headey pouring without both of them in the frame, make greater preparations, do a single-take or very few takes... There are ways around this without torturing people, I mean we did it with animals, right?

    10 votes
  19. Comment on The EU Intellectual Property Office rules against Banksy in his trademark fight with a greeting card company, citing his own statement that ‘Copyright is for losers’ and his anonymity in ~arts

    Grzmot
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    I'm not usually the one to side with corporations on the issue of copyright law, but this seems like a sound ruling to me. Banksy has disregarded copyright laws, remains anonymous and has not made...

    I'm not usually the one to side with corporations on the issue of copyright law, but this seems like a sound ruling to me. Banksy has disregarded copyright laws, remains anonymous and has not made any attempt to stop previous use of his graffiti.

    I feel like that's pretty fair.

    7 votes
  20. Comment on Our dead bedroom, and our journey to fix it. Any interest in the journey? in ~talk

    Grzmot
    Link Parent
    You're very resilient for making it through that relationship. Your ex sounds like a cunt. In the end he was an addict who couldn't see that he had a problem, and it wasn't on you, I hope you...

    You're very resilient for making it through that relationship. Your ex sounds like a cunt. In the end he was an addict who couldn't see that he had a problem, and it wasn't on you, I hope you don't just know that, but also feel that in your heart.

    The fact that he chose videos over you isn't a you problem, it's a him problem. Videos can never replace the intimacy and romance of a real partner, and he's worse off without you. I hope you find the amazing partner you deserve in your future, but it's also important to be happy on your own.

    5 votes