meatrocket's recent activity

  1. Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (December 2021) in ~talk

    meatrocket
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    It's been a long few months getting treatment and a long few years dealing with my symptoms, but after jumping through all hypothyroidism and sleep apnea hoops, I have an appointment with a...

    It's been a long few months getting treatment and a long few years dealing with my symptoms, but after jumping through all hypothyroidism and sleep apnea hoops, I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next week to discuss medication options and get me a antidepressant/anti-anxiety prescription. My therapist even works in the same office, and she's let the psych know some of my background and symptoms ahead of time to streamline that process for me somewhat.

    In addition, applying some of the things my therapist has recommended has been helpful. I'm immensely hard on myself constantly over even the tiniest things. She's helped me to recognize when those thoughts are intruding and to give them a "name" so I can mentally distance myself from them while acknowledging that they're part of who I am and I just have to work with that.

    Another big weight off my shoulders has been securing a full-time job after graduation. I'll be doing software development with an international company, and the office is in the city I'm already going to university in. The salary isn't huge but it's enough for the area and for me living alone. I've been looking at some nice apartments within walking distance of the office that even give rent discounts for people working with that company. The people seem nice, and even if it sucks, it's my first real job after undergrad, and I can only go up from there.

    3 votes
  2. Comment on Them Crooked Vultues - No One Loves Me and Neither Do I (2009) in ~music

    meatrocket
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    Absolute beast of a record. Elephants and Warsaw are my favorites. Hope we get a TCV2 someday.

    Absolute beast of a record. Elephants and Warsaw are my favorites. Hope we get a TCV2 someday.

    3 votes
  3. Comment on Tell me about your favourite place in ~talk

    meatrocket
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    Dansenberg, Germany. It's a small village near Kaiserslautern sort of perched on a plateau in a very hilly, borderline mountainous area, one road in and out, maybe 3000 people. I lived there for a...

    Dansenberg, Germany. It's a small village near Kaiserslautern sort of perched on a plateau in a very hilly, borderline mountainous area, one road in and out, maybe 3000 people. I lived there for a year while I was in high school, and every morning I'd fling open the shutters to misty fields of horses bordered by dense trees. I had a sweet old neighbor that loved to talk about her cat and take my family and me to interesting things around town. I don't say this meaning to be dramatic, but I think it's the last place where I was genuinely happy and excited about life; I look back on it and miss it dearly.

    4 votes
  4. Comment on What is compassion fatigue? Here’s how to retain your humanity even if you’re feeling burned out in ~health

    meatrocket
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    I think it's worth pointing out how much the mentioned symptoms overlap with depression. If this is relatable for you, and you've felt these long-term, please consider talking about it with your...

    I think it's worth pointing out how much the mentioned symptoms overlap with depression.

    be on the lookout for the following symptoms:

    • Apathy or indifference to even the most pleasurable parts of life
    • Mental and/or physical exhaustion or overwhelm
    • Insomnia
    • Difficulty concentrating
    • Headaches
    • Loss of appetite
    • A desire to isolate
    • A low sense of self-worth
    • A shortened temper
    • A feeling of aimlessness

    If this is relatable for you, and you've felt these long-term, please consider talking about it with your physician or a psychiatrist.

    5 votes
  5. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    meatrocket
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    I started playing through S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat because it was the only one in the series I hadn't played yet. I'm really enjoying it; these games do atmosphere so well, it's no wonder...

    I started playing through S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat because it was the only one in the series I hadn't played yet. I'm really enjoying it; these games do atmosphere so well, it's no wonder people still talk about them 15 years after release. It's supposedly the most polished of the S.T.AL.K.E.R. games, which is saying almost nothing, but the last game I played through was the original System Shock so CoP has been a breeze so far other than the inconsistent performance and occasional crashes. I don't like its map as much as the one in the previous two games, and I'm particularly irked by the way you need a guide to take you between the major areas of the map instead of just going there yourself, but it gets the job done. I'm at the point where I'm making a group of people to go to Pripyat, which for me that means kind of grinding quests to make strong enough relationships with people for them to agree to go, but I enjoy learning this game's world, so I'm not too bothered by that.

    3 votes
  6. Comment on Do you have an article of clothing or costume piece you enjoy wearing? in ~talk

    meatrocket
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    My favorite piece of clothing is a tan golf-jacket-looking-but-not-quite coat I found at a Goodwill. (This is not exactly the same but it's pretty close.) It's Sears brand, but clearly old (my...

    My favorite piece of clothing is a tan golf-jacket-looking-but-not-quite coat I found at a Goodwill. (This is not exactly the same but it's pretty close.) It's Sears brand, but clearly old (my ballpark estimate is mid 80's). In the pocket, I found a football ticket for a game my school played in 1991. It's on the thinner side, so I like to wear it when it's cool but still nice outside, and it pairs well with the rest of the sorts of stuff I wear (think cuffed jeans, Docs, tucked in plain color tee shirts).

    3 votes
  7. Comment on What have you been eating, drinking, and cooking? in ~food

    meatrocket
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    I started making bread! I followed Mark Bittman's No-Knead Bread Recipe and got some great results. It's easy,plus cheaper and better than buying from the store.

    I started making bread! I followed Mark Bittman's No-Knead Bread Recipe and got some great results. It's easy,plus cheaper and better than buying from the store.

    3 votes
  8. Comment on What did you do this week? in ~talk

    meatrocket
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    Last weekend, I finally moved back to my campus after a long summer living with my parents. It's been harder and harder to ignore that they aren't good people. Being around them was constant...

    Last weekend, I finally moved back to my campus after a long summer living with my parents. It's been harder and harder to ignore that they aren't good people. Being around them was constant stress and discomfort that kept me from making progress with my mental health; the one time I was more open with them than ever about what I'm feeling, "I don't believe it." "Our childhoods were worse." "Why would you think you're a burden? We just think you're ungrateful because we made the mistake of being too kind to you for too long."

    A week and a half ago, I got officially diagnosed with GAD and MDD by a psychiatrist, but wasn't prescribed anything - I was told my particular symptoms line up well with hypothyroidism and particularly well with sleep apnea as physical causes to investigate first. My blood work came back normal yesterday, meaning following yet another secant line of frustration and exhaustion to its end while I keep trying to hold on to everything to see if I have a sleep disorder that I didn't think I'd have to worry about for decades. My insurance covers sleep studies, but I "must be referred to a sleep disorder center by an attending physician and the need for diagnostic testing must be confirmed by medical evidence." I don't have a physician. I'm 21, I barely know what a physician even is.

    I may have to pick up a second job to recover from paying for this semester, especially since my on-campus job barely pays enough to keep me afloat, although I've started taking advantage of my university's food pantry to lighten the load some. My new classes are neat, at least. I'm at the point where I'm just filling in elective credits for my major and minor, so this semester I'm taking German film history, music production, and computer graphics, among less interesting stuff.

    I listened to Lingua Ignota's Caligula for the first time after learning she did the guest vocals for The Body's "Nothing Stirs." I had heard a lot of praise for it around the time of its release, but I didn't think it would be this good - these are the harrowing sounds of the broken human spirit. "IF THE POISON WON'T TAKE YOU MY DOGS WILL" and "FRAGRANT IS MY MANY FLOWER'D CROWN" are highlights.

    6 votes
  9. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    meatrocket
    (edited )
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    After a long, long time trying to grapple with the dated controls long enough to get interested in the game, I'm having a lot of fun with System Shock thanks to Nightdive's Enhanced Edition....

    After a long, long time trying to grapple with the dated controls long enough to get interested in the game, I'm having a lot of fun with System Shock thanks to Nightdive's Enhanced Edition. Despite its old age, its challenges feel worth overcoming, even if the maps can be a little too maze-like. Mandalore's video does a good job talking about what it's like to play and why it's such an important game. I'm really excited for the remake, and I'm strongly considering breaking my no preorder rule to get the System Shock 2 remake for free.

    EDIT: I just got to the area with the invisible mutants and now I hate this game

    4 votes
  10. Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music

    meatrocket
    (edited )
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    Sorry for the length. Deafheaven's Infinite Granite is a release I've been looking forward to hearing for quite a while now. The singles intrigued me in that wistful yet hopeful...

    Sorry for the length. Deafheaven's Infinite Granite is a release I've been looking forward to hearing for quite a while now. The singles intrigued me in that wistful yet hopeful let's-see-how-this-goes kind of way because the turn in musical direction bordered on sharp enough to be concerning. After about a half dozen or more listens, that feeling has kind of been validated, but I'm not disappointed either.

    It's not bad - far from it, in fact. I think it's a quite competent shoegaze/dreampop record. Tracks like "Lament for Wasps" and "In Blur" have some standout moments I've been hearing in my head over and over the past few days. I see myself returning to it often in the future.

    BUT: This album betrays itself by revealing its potential without ever having lived up to it. "Mombasa" is the best track of the bunch by a mile, elevating the entire record purely by virtue of its inclusion... and I don't think it's a coincidence that it also sounds the most like their older releases out of all the tracks. A slow burn that builds to a wildfire, Mombasa showcases what Deafheaven does best by balancing wide expanses of gorgeous sound against savage ferocity and fierce intensity. "Villain" and lead single "Great Mass of Color" also near this territory, but in a way that feels more like it's just in passing, or as an afterthought out of obligation (particularly the latter track).

    Overall, Infinite Granite sounds a bit like Deafheaven is holding back for the sake of change. It gives me a sense of malaise, like something important is just... off. It almost makes me feel bad to say, like I'm a bad fan or I wouldn't want them to expand and try new things, but the only times this record truly stands out to me are when it does what I love Deafheaven for, and that isn't very often.

    Even though it got a lot of hate for softening up their sound, Ordinary Corrupt Human Love is one of my very favorite albums, and I really enjoy plenty of other shoegaze acts, so I don't think it's an issue with the material not being a crushing blackgaze masterpiece. I think it's when I measure it against the level of expectation set by older releases that Infinite Granite becomes just what it is: a pretty decent shoegaze/dreampop record.

    Weird tangent: I've noticed a pattern of bands """"going soft"""" not long after I get into them. I was obsessed with Gojira when Magma came out, Baroness with Purple, Queens of the Stone Age with ...Like Clockwork, Mastodon with Once More 'Round the Sun (granted they had already put out The Hunter but still)... basically, it's my fault this happened, sorry everyone.

    EDIT: Having just finished the Pitchfork review, I found myself agreeing with a lot of it. Maybe not everything - IG is a lot more Slowdive than My Bloody Valentine - but yeah. "Deafheaven are capable of gorgeous shoegaze, dream pop, and post-rock tapestries, but their replications of those styles begin to lose their emotional resonance when not interwoven with heavier fare."

  11. Comment on How has the pandemic changed you? in ~talk

    meatrocket
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    Spending a lot of time with myself forced me to 1. realize that I'm more extroverted than I thought, and 2. really come to terms with my mental issues and where they come from. I finally have an...

    Spending a lot of time with myself forced me to 1. realize that I'm more extroverted than I thought, and 2. really come to terms with my mental issues and where they come from. I finally have an initial appointment with a psychiatrist for medication; it's two days after I plan to drive >700 miles back to campus before the semester starts. Hopefully they can do it remotely? Point is, my changes have mostly been good progress, but there's still a lot of kinks to figure out.

    4 votes
  12. Comment on Food in New Orleans? in ~food

    meatrocket
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    Banh Mi Boys in Metairie has some amazing Vietnamese food. @Parliament's Ruby Slipper recommendation is a very good one, too. As far as downtown NOLA, nothing has yet topped brunch at Brennan's...

    Banh Mi Boys in Metairie has some amazing Vietnamese food. @Parliament's Ruby Slipper recommendation is a very good one, too.

    As far as downtown NOLA, nothing has yet topped brunch at Brennan's for me. Not exactly snooty high-class dining, but you'll want to dress up for it. The Bananas Foster is worth it, though - it was invented there, after all. I actually happen to know a couple of the servers there, and they take a lot of pride in what they do.

    Cane's is always good, too. It's not unique to the city (or even to Louisiana anymore if I'm not mistaken), but if you just want some decent fast food chicken to destroy your insides, you can't go wrong with a Box Combo, toast instead of slaw.

    4 votes
  13. Comment on Social constructs: An introduction in ~humanities

    meatrocket
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    Philosophy Tube is my favorite channel on YouTube. If you want some recommendations, I recommend Abigail's recent Capital Punishment episode, and particularly her pre-transition "Men. Abuse....

    Philosophy Tube is my favorite channel on YouTube. If you want some recommendations, I recommend Abigail's recent Capital Punishment episode, and particularly her pre-transition "Men. Abuse. Trauma." episode.

    3 votes
  14. Comment on Cars and trucks are changing forever in ~hobbies

    meatrocket
    Link Parent
    SavageGeese also points out the inflating cost of enthusiast ICE vehicles. As a 21 year old who's always been an enthusiast but hasn't been around long enough to get a "real" job (or to have their...

    SavageGeese also points out the inflating cost of enthusiast ICE vehicles. As a 21 year old who's always been an enthusiast but hasn't been around long enough to get a "real" job (or to have their whole life's savings be worth more than a pretty nice refrigerator), I've lately found myself increasingly frustrated and disinterested with cars as a hobby. I mean, I can barely afford to change the sagging headliner in my Jetta, much less something like a new GTI, or even the ballooning prices of used enthusiast cars like the MR2 and Miata. And sure, I have lots of time and opportunity to save up for cars like that once I get my degree and start working for real. And sure, the car market is a garbage fire at the moment.

    My point is that being a car enthusiast already doesn't seem like an accessible hobby for a lot of people, and this while we are still in a market where internal combustion is the default.

    I think you're absolutely right about ICE cars becoming like horses, per your comparison. I just think it's a shame that the overlap between average people and car enthusiasts will probably shrink as a result. Obviously, there will be EV enthusiast cars, but you're right when you say that the experience is a huge part of the thrill. I love screaming engines; I love nailing a heel-toe downshift. As much as I look forward to this shift towards EVs for the everyman, I think we'll lose a lot of enthusiasts as these experiences become inaccessible to more and more people.

    3 votes
  15. Comment on What’s your favorite music from 2021 so far? in ~music

    meatrocket
    Link Parent
    I was wondering how they got that HUGE sound. Thanks for the info.

    I was wondering how they got that HUGE sound. Thanks for the info.

    2 votes
  16. Comment on What’s your favorite music from 2021 so far? in ~music

    meatrocket
    Link
    Not too much, lately I've mostly been checking out older stuff I hadn't had gotten around to. Some highlights from this year, though: Gojira - Grind: Oh my fucking god. The Body - A Lament: This...

    Not too much, lately I've mostly been checking out older stuff I hadn't had gotten around to. Some highlights from this year, though:

    • Gojira - Grind: Oh my fucking god.

    • The Body - A Lament: This track came out as a single last year, but the album came out in January, and I first heard it then. I enjoy the tragic spoken word intro flowing into suspensive atmosphere exploding into speaker-destroying... post-doom? I'm gonna call it post-doom.

    • Tirzah - Send Me: The off-beat rhythm got my attention, the intimate production and vocals held it, and the unexpected noise rock outro rewarded it.

    • Deafheaven - Great Mass of Color: I made a post about this one, but basically, I really enjoy hearing these guys experiment with this new, softer direction, and I'm especially excited to hear how they blend black metal with these more ambient textures.

    5 votes
  17. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    meatrocket
    Link
    I finished Death Stranding the other day, and it's kind of a mess? Metal Gear is (probably) my favorite series, so I really wanted to see what Kojima could make with full creative control. I would...

    I finished Death Stranding the other day, and it's kind of a mess? Metal Gear is (probably) my favorite series, so I really wanted to see what Kojima could make with full creative control. I would say he did a good job creating a totally new and interesting experience, one that even predicted pandemic and post-pandemic life astonishingly well, although I don't think I'd want to play through the whole thing again for a long while.

    I liked but didn't love the literal-walking-simulator gameplay. Once I could use vehicles, the game sort of became finding ways to use them instead of my legs to haul stuff around - the game even encourages this to a degree by letting construct highways that even charge your vehicles and pass right over enemy-inhabited areas, although you can only construct them in certain predefined places. Death Stranding is at its best when it forces you off of vehicles and into the rough terrain, so that you pay more attention to planning around the obstacles in your path and interacting with the systems for maintaining Sam's balance and footing. That being said, the progression from small deliveries on foot to juggling a small fleet of delivery trucks felt earned because of how long it takes to build those roads and how threats like MULEs and BTs (cargo stealers and spooky ghost bois respectively) often force you to take your time off the beaten path/in new areas anyways. Also the vehicles in this game control like microwaved dogshit.

    The story takes its sweet damn time getting going, but once it got towards classic Kojima mindfuckery towards the end, I was fully on board; I kinda hated Die-Hardman at the start because he was annoying, but his growth, and the things you learn about BB and Mads Mikkelson's character, were my favorite parts of this whole thing.

    4 votes
  18. Comment on Your CPU may have slowed down on Wednesday in ~comp

    meatrocket
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    Found this on r/programming and thought it was sorta interesting, albeit short.

    Found this on r/programming and thought it was sorta interesting, albeit short.

    Although I suspect the performance impact will be minuscule on average, this surprise still serves as a reminder that raw CPU performance can silently change due to microcode updates and most Linux distributions and modern Windows have these updates enabled by default.

    1 vote
  19. Comment on Deafheaven - Great Mass of Color (2021) in ~music

    meatrocket
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    The acclaimed post-black metal and blackgaze act goes no-Deaf-all-Heaven on this one, something much closer to dream pop and classic shoegaze than black metal. Both Sunbather and Ordinary Corrupt...

    The acclaimed post-black metal and blackgaze act goes no-Deaf-all-Heaven on this one, something much closer to dream pop and classic shoegaze than black metal. Both Sunbather and Ordinary Corrupt Human Love are some of my favorite releases ever for the way they breathe life and texture into black metal's oppressive atmosphere, but these guys have more than proven themselves as talented musicians, and I greatly look forward to hearing them experiment with softer ambient sounds like this.

    Just because I felt like sharing: I don't think they've ever put out anything close to bad, but Glint and Vertigo are Deafheaven at their very best, in my opinion. If you like what they do, or like the idea of blackgaze but can't quite get into Deafheaven, you may enjoy Bosse-de-Nage or Ghost Bath.

    2 votes