meatrocket's recent activity

  1. Comment on Have a Nice Life - Earthmover (2008) in ~music

    meatrocket
    Link
    Slowly fallen in love with this record after I first heard about it about a year ago via another Flenser band (that band being Bosse-de-Nage). The soundplay, mood, and dynamics across the whole...

    Slowly fallen in love with this record after I first heard about it about a year ago via another Flenser band (that band being Bosse-de-Nage). The soundplay, mood, and dynamics across the whole thing are something else, and I think this song is brilliant as a microcosm of the whole album.

    1 vote
  2. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    meatrocket
    Link
    S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Anomaly. Having so much fun with it, both from enjoying the atmosphere and from exploring a modernized S.T.A.L.K.E.R. game. I've had both the gameplay and the economy set to their...

    S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Anomaly. Having so much fun with it, both from enjoying the atmosphere and from exploring a modernized S.T.A.L.K.E.R. game. I've had both the gameplay and the economy set to their easiest difficulties, but the world still feels much more threatening than in the vanilla games; I really like planning out my routes, preparing supplies, maintaining weapons, then heading out into the Zone.

    I'm not far into it, I've only gotten as far north as the Army Warehouses (I have the option of needing to pay for hidden routes enabled), but it's great.

    It's a completely free standalone game, if it sounds interesting.

    2 votes
  3. Comment on What are your failed hobbies? in ~hobbies

    meatrocket
    Link Parent
    That's actually really encouraging, thank you.

    That's actually really encouraging, thank you.

    3 votes
  4. Comment on What are your failed hobbies? in ~hobbies

    meatrocket
    Link
    Probably reading. I’ve got a decently sized collection of books, I’ve read about half of them and the rest I meant to get to when I bought them, but life gets in the way, I forget what was going...

    Probably reading. I’ve got a decently sized collection of books, I’ve read about half of them and the rest I meant to get to when I bought them, but life gets in the way, I forget what was going on and feel like I need to restart, reading isn’t a natural go-to for me so even when I have time it usually doesn’t happen, et cetera. My bookmark has been sitting on the same page of The End of the Affair for weeks. Meh.

    8 votes
  5. Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (February 2022) in ~talk

    meatrocket
    Link
    I'm nearing the end of my second month on fluoxetine (initially 20mg, recently upped to 30), and the difference in my mood and outlook has been substantial. I feel more assured of having innate...

    I'm nearing the end of my second month on fluoxetine (initially 20mg, recently upped to 30), and the difference in my mood and outlook has been substantial. I feel more assured of having innate worth; I'm reengaging with things I had lost interest in for a long time; I've been able to be more physically active and present with my friends and family.

    I'm not cured, however. My psychiatrist warned that it wouldn't be a magic bullet, but rather I would find myself having more good days than bad. I still have bouts of intense depression (interestingly, my anxiety seems to be what's mostly been diminished), but they are growing less frequent and slightly more manageable when they come. This is all happening at a good time, as I'm in my last undergraduate semester and every little thing to make that last push easier is helpful, and - to be candid - I had largely given up hope of things getting any better, and I might not still be here if I hadn't found an effective medication.

    10 votes
  6. Comment on What are you reading these days? in ~books

    meatrocket
    Link
    After I fell off of reading it late last year, I'm fully reinvested in The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Kundera's writing is lovely and philosophical, but there's a vague melancholy underpinning...

    After I fell off of reading it late last year, I'm fully reinvested in The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Kundera's writing is lovely and philosophical, but there's a vague melancholy underpinning it as well. I'm about halfway through it but I have an urge to reread it as soon as I finish.

    4 votes
  7. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    meatrocket
    Link
    Over the past month or so, I finished 2 games. Call of Juarez: Gunslinger had been sitting on my wishlist for a while, so I gave it a shot when it was given away on Steam a few weeks ago. It has...

    Over the past month or so, I finished 2 games.

    • Call of Juarez: Gunslinger had been sitting on my wishlist for a while, so I gave it a shot when it was given away on Steam a few weeks ago. It has some fluid gameplay (except for those damn duels) and interesting ideas. The story is told retrospectively by a slightly unreliable narrator, so some environmental details will change when he remembers a detail, for instance. This one is pretty short - I was done in about 4 hours - so it was over right when it started getting a little stale. Fun time.
    • I had been wanting to do a run through System Shock 2 since greatly enjoying the original a few months ago in [immense] spite of its clunky interface and controls. The sequel leans way more into role-playing aspects than the original, with full-on character builds and a more open-ended design to suit the various solutions that different builds might use; but honestly, the role-playing felt like the weakest pillar of this game. Skill points and upgrades are limited, and I often felt more like I was setting myself up for failure against some new unseen challenge when speccing into something. One would expect it to play into the survival-cyber-horror atmosphere, but I just found it annoying. That atmosphere and environmental design, however, were absolutely gripping. This is the first game I've had a dream about in years, it's that good. There's so much tension on the Von Braun, and so many horrors to find in both its past and its present. That being said, I followed the mod guide in Mandalore's video, so objects and textures looked a hell of a lot more modern than twenty years old, but since the style and artistic intent remain the same, I'm not concerned about missing anything from vanilla. I'm excited about Nightdive's System Shock remake, even if a bit cautiously so because of how much it's been delayed.
    4 votes
  8. Comment on What were the best movies you watched this year? in ~movies

    meatrocket
    Link
    I had the pleasure of taking a German film course at university this past semester, and I saw some excellent films. My two favorites are: The Wall / Die Wand: Based on a 20th century novel of the...

    I had the pleasure of taking a German film course at university this past semester, and I saw some excellent films. My two favorites are:

    The Wall / Die Wand: Based on a 20th century novel of the same name. A woman goes to a hunting lodge in the Swiss Alps for a retreat when, inexplicably, an invisible and impenetrable barrier surrounds the area on her first night there, and so she must come to terms with her solitude and with living in nature. Breathtaking cinematography, drawing inspiration from the traditions of both the Heimatsfilm and the Robinsonade, but twisting those formulas nicely.

    The Edge of Heaven / Auf der anderen Seite: Fatih Akin's beautiful-yet-tragic story of German-Turkish transnationalism. The legendary Hanna Schygulla is brilliant in her supporting role, but every performance in this film is excellent.

    4 votes
  9. Comment on LastPass is going to become an independent company in ~tech

    meatrocket
    Link Parent
    I moved to Bitwarden several months ago when LastPass messed with their free tier and haven't looked back at all. It's a nice utility.

    I moved to Bitwarden several months ago when LastPass messed with their free tier and haven't looked back at all. It's a nice utility.

    5 votes
  10. Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (December 2021) in ~talk

    meatrocket
    Link
    It's been a long few months getting treatment and a long few years dealing with my symptoms, but after jumping through all hypothyroidism and sleep apnea hoops, I have an appointment with a...

    It's been a long few months getting treatment and a long few years dealing with my symptoms, but after jumping through all hypothyroidism and sleep apnea hoops, I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next week to discuss medication options and get me a antidepressant/anti-anxiety prescription. My therapist even works in the same office, and she's let the psych know some of my background and symptoms ahead of time to streamline that process for me somewhat.

    In addition, applying some of the things my therapist has recommended has been helpful. I'm immensely hard on myself constantly over even the tiniest things. She's helped me to recognize when those thoughts are intruding and to give them a "name" so I can mentally distance myself from them while acknowledging that they're part of who I am and I just have to work with that.

    Another big weight off my shoulders has been securing a full-time job after graduation. I'll be doing software development with an international company, and the office is in the city I'm already going to university in. The salary isn't huge but it's enough for the area and for me living alone. I've been looking at some nice apartments within walking distance of the office that even give rent discounts for people working with that company. The people seem nice, and even if it sucks, it's my first real job after undergrad, and I can only go up from there.

    5 votes
  11. Comment on Them Crooked Vultues - No One Loves Me and Neither Do I (2009) in ~music

    meatrocket
    Link
    Absolute beast of a record. Elephants and Warsaw are my favorites. Hope we get a TCV2 someday.

    Absolute beast of a record. Elephants and Warsaw are my favorites. Hope we get a TCV2 someday.

    3 votes
  12. Comment on Tell me about your favourite place in ~talk

    meatrocket
    Link
    Dansenberg, Germany. It's a small village near Kaiserslautern sort of perched on a plateau in a very hilly, borderline mountainous area, one road in and out, maybe 3000 people. I lived there for a...

    Dansenberg, Germany. It's a small village near Kaiserslautern sort of perched on a plateau in a very hilly, borderline mountainous area, one road in and out, maybe 3000 people. I lived there for a year while I was in high school, and every morning I'd fling open the shutters to misty fields of horses bordered by dense trees. I had a sweet old neighbor that loved to talk about her cat and take my family and me to interesting things around town. I don't say this meaning to be dramatic, but I think it's the last place where I was genuinely happy and excited about life; I look back on it and miss it dearly.

    4 votes
  13. Comment on What is compassion fatigue? Here’s how to retain your humanity even if you’re feeling burned out in ~health

    meatrocket
    Link
    I think it's worth pointing out how much the mentioned symptoms overlap with depression. If this is relatable for you, and you've felt these long-term, please consider talking about it with your...

    I think it's worth pointing out how much the mentioned symptoms overlap with depression.

    be on the lookout for the following symptoms:

    • Apathy or indifference to even the most pleasurable parts of life
    • Mental and/or physical exhaustion or overwhelm
    • Insomnia
    • Difficulty concentrating
    • Headaches
    • Loss of appetite
    • A desire to isolate
    • A low sense of self-worth
    • A shortened temper
    • A feeling of aimlessness

    If this is relatable for you, and you've felt these long-term, please consider talking about it with your physician or a psychiatrist.

    5 votes
  14. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    meatrocket
    Link
    I started playing through S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat because it was the only one in the series I hadn't played yet. I'm really enjoying it; these games do atmosphere so well, it's no wonder...

    I started playing through S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat because it was the only one in the series I hadn't played yet. I'm really enjoying it; these games do atmosphere so well, it's no wonder people still talk about them 15 years after release. It's supposedly the most polished of the S.T.AL.K.E.R. games, which is saying almost nothing, but the last game I played through was the original System Shock so CoP has been a breeze so far other than the inconsistent performance and occasional crashes. I don't like its map as much as the one in the previous two games, and I'm particularly irked by the way you need a guide to take you between the major areas of the map instead of just going there yourself, but it gets the job done. I'm at the point where I'm making a group of people to go to Pripyat, which for me that means kind of grinding quests to make strong enough relationships with people for them to agree to go, but I enjoy learning this game's world, so I'm not too bothered by that.

    3 votes
  15. Comment on Do you have an article of clothing or costume piece you enjoy wearing? in ~talk

    meatrocket
    Link
    My favorite piece of clothing is a tan golf-jacket-looking-but-not-quite coat I found at a Goodwill. (This is not exactly the same but it's pretty close.) It's Sears brand, but clearly old (my...

    My favorite piece of clothing is a tan golf-jacket-looking-but-not-quite coat I found at a Goodwill. (This is not exactly the same but it's pretty close.) It's Sears brand, but clearly old (my ballpark estimate is mid 80's). In the pocket, I found a football ticket for a game my school played in 1991. It's on the thinner side, so I like to wear it when it's cool but still nice outside, and it pairs well with the rest of the sorts of stuff I wear (think cuffed jeans, Docs, tucked in plain color tee shirts).

    3 votes
  16. Comment on What have you been eating, drinking, and cooking? in ~food

    meatrocket
    Link
    I started making bread! I followed Mark Bittman's No-Knead Bread Recipe and got some great results. It's easy,plus cheaper and better than buying from the store.

    I started making bread! I followed Mark Bittman's No-Knead Bread Recipe and got some great results. It's easy,plus cheaper and better than buying from the store.

    3 votes
  17. Comment on What did you do this week? in ~talk

    meatrocket
    Link
    Last weekend, I finally moved back to my campus after a long summer living with my parents. It's been harder and harder to ignore that they aren't good people. Being around them was constant...

    Last weekend, I finally moved back to my campus after a long summer living with my parents. It's been harder and harder to ignore that they aren't good people. Being around them was constant stress and discomfort that kept me from making progress with my mental health; the one time I was more open with them than ever about what I'm feeling, "I don't believe it." "Our childhoods were worse." "Why would you think you're a burden? We just think you're ungrateful because we made the mistake of being too kind to you for too long."

    A week and a half ago, I got officially diagnosed with GAD and MDD by a psychiatrist, but wasn't prescribed anything - I was told my particular symptoms line up well with hypothyroidism and particularly well with sleep apnea as physical causes to investigate first. My blood work came back normal yesterday, meaning following yet another secant line of frustration and exhaustion to its end while I keep trying to hold on to everything to see if I have a sleep disorder that I didn't think I'd have to worry about for decades. My insurance covers sleep studies, but I "must be referred to a sleep disorder center by an attending physician and the need for diagnostic testing must be confirmed by medical evidence." I don't have a physician. I'm 21, I barely know what a physician even is.

    I may have to pick up a second job to recover from paying for this semester, especially since my on-campus job barely pays enough to keep me afloat, although I've started taking advantage of my university's food pantry to lighten the load some. My new classes are neat, at least. I'm at the point where I'm just filling in elective credits for my major and minor, so this semester I'm taking German film history, music production, and computer graphics, among less interesting stuff.

    I listened to Lingua Ignota's Caligula for the first time after learning she did the guest vocals for The Body's "Nothing Stirs." I had heard a lot of praise for it around the time of its release, but I didn't think it would be this good - these are the harrowing sounds of the broken human spirit. "IF THE POISON WON'T TAKE YOU MY DOGS WILL" and "FRAGRANT IS MY MANY FLOWER'D CROWN" are highlights.

    6 votes
  18. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    meatrocket
    (edited )
    Link
    After a long, long time trying to grapple with the dated controls long enough to get interested in the game, I'm having a lot of fun with System Shock thanks to Nightdive's Enhanced Edition....

    After a long, long time trying to grapple with the dated controls long enough to get interested in the game, I'm having a lot of fun with System Shock thanks to Nightdive's Enhanced Edition. Despite its old age, its challenges feel worth overcoming, even if the maps can be a little too maze-like. Mandalore's video does a good job talking about what it's like to play and why it's such an important game. I'm really excited for the remake, and I'm strongly considering breaking my no preorder rule to get the System Shock 2 remake for free.

    EDIT: I just got to the area with the invisible mutants and now I hate this game

    4 votes
  19. Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music

    meatrocket
    (edited )
    Link
    Sorry for the length. Deafheaven's Infinite Granite is a release I've been looking forward to hearing for quite a while now. The singles intrigued me in that wistful yet hopeful...

    Sorry for the length. Deafheaven's Infinite Granite is a release I've been looking forward to hearing for quite a while now. The singles intrigued me in that wistful yet hopeful let's-see-how-this-goes kind of way because the turn in musical direction bordered on sharp enough to be concerning. After about a half dozen or more listens, that feeling has kind of been validated, but I'm not disappointed either.

    It's not bad - far from it, in fact. I think it's a quite competent shoegaze/dreampop record. Tracks like "Lament for Wasps" and "In Blur" have some standout moments I've been hearing in my head over and over the past few days. I see myself returning to it often in the future.

    BUT: This album betrays itself by revealing its potential without ever having lived up to it. "Mombasa" is the best track of the bunch by a mile, elevating the entire record purely by virtue of its inclusion... and I don't think it's a coincidence that it also sounds the most like their older releases out of all the tracks. A slow burn that builds to a wildfire, Mombasa showcases what Deafheaven does best by balancing wide expanses of gorgeous sound against savage ferocity and fierce intensity. "Villain" and lead single "Great Mass of Color" also near this territory, but in a way that feels more like it's just in passing, or as an afterthought out of obligation (particularly the latter track).

    Overall, Infinite Granite sounds a bit like Deafheaven is holding back for the sake of change. It gives me a sense of malaise, like something important is just... off. It almost makes me feel bad to say, like I'm a bad fan or I wouldn't want them to expand and try new things, but the only times this record truly stands out to me are when it does what I love Deafheaven for, and that isn't very often.

    Even though it got a lot of hate for softening up their sound, Ordinary Corrupt Human Love is one of my very favorite albums, and I really enjoy plenty of other shoegaze acts, so I don't think it's an issue with the material not being a crushing blackgaze masterpiece. I think it's when I measure it against the level of expectation set by older releases that Infinite Granite becomes just what it is: a pretty decent shoegaze/dreampop record.

    Weird tangent: I've noticed a pattern of bands """"going soft"""" not long after I get into them. I was obsessed with Gojira when Magma came out, Baroness with Purple, Queens of the Stone Age with ...Like Clockwork, Mastodon with Once More 'Round the Sun (granted they had already put out The Hunter but still)... basically, it's my fault this happened, sorry everyone.

    EDIT: Having just finished the Pitchfork review, I found myself agreeing with a lot of it. Maybe not everything - IG is a lot more Slowdive than My Bloody Valentine - but yeah. "Deafheaven are capable of gorgeous shoegaze, dream pop, and post-rock tapestries, but their replications of those styles begin to lose their emotional resonance when not interwoven with heavier fare."