Let's write some Tom Swifties!
If you're not familiar with them, a "Tom Swifty" is a punny sentence that involves a quote by a person named Tom which is the setup for landing a pun in the description of the quote's delivery (often but not necessarily a single adverb).
For example:
"This water is freezing," Tom said icily.
"I'm going to hit this piñata as hard as I can!" said Tom, bashfully.
"Nevermore," Tom said ravenously.
"I like tart fruits," said Tom with aplomb.
Really good Tom Swifties are often not immediately obvious, have a fantastic setup, or are simply really clever (mine are alright, though it's certainly possible to do far better).
You can get a more full picture and better examples from Wikipedia, but I encourage you to tread lightly there and in searches because it's way more fun to think of them and share them in threads like these than it is to pull up lists of them online. Just reading previously written ones kind of spoils the fun, IMO.
Anyway, let's see what great Tom Swities we can write!
While these are all good, your "Holy Shit" one is downright transcendent.
I thought that was a little too on the nose, and figured exclaimed was the best one, but what do I know?
Oh, I am far from the official arbiter of good judgment on Tom Swifties. I just like them!
I also really liked your "exclaimed" one which had a clever, effective subtlety common to the format. It was your "Holy Shit" one that was so completely unsubtle that it took me by pleasant surprise. It's also a two-for-one, and as concise as it is blunt. I think that's why it struck me so positively.
EDIT:
These are great. The "neatly" one is nice and simple, but I love the "listlessly" and "deceitfully" ones the most.
As someone who literally just started using Lush soaps, I appreciate this one the most. Well done!
EDIT: I feel that, in not mentioning them, I was unintentionally dismissive of your other ones. They are also excellent! The "can of worms" one in particular is a sublime twist on the formula, and even though I didn't know what "cuisses de grenouille" meant, I didn't need to look it up because your pun hinted at the meaning perfectly.
"Cartographers love Colorado" is an entertaining setup! That said, I think I'm missing something on your "implicated" one? I can't figure it out.
The situation Tom is describing could be an imp-lick-ation. Maybe a stretch, haha.
OH. I see it now. I totally missed the "imp" part!
"Please, take some more latkes!" Tom said judiciously.
This one took me a minute. Subtle!
"I can't hack it anymore", said Tom, morbidly.
If I think of any others, I'll add em on to this.