reifyresonance's recent activity

  1. Comment on What's the longest running quandary/debate you've had with yourself? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link
    It's one I don't think I'll solve, but: "what is there, what is it like, and what should I do about it?" Also: what is the nature of mind? how am I conscious? [redacted by my own mind for...

    It's one I don't think I'll solve, but: "what is there, what is it like, and what should I do about it?"

    Also:

    • what is the nature of mind? how am I conscious?
    • [redacted by my own mind for potential existential panic] (I'm not sure what that one is but I'm not about to think about it right now!)
    • who am I? who will I be? (I'm a bit better at this one than I used to be)
    • what should I read next?
    • how can I be better?
  2. Comment on What's the longest running quandary/debate you've had with yourself? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    It's the world. 100%. But there's still a kind of beauty in it, both incidental and consequential from what I think you're talking about.

    It's the world. 100%.

    But there's still a kind of beauty in it, both incidental and consequential from what I think you're talking about.

    1 vote
  3. Comment on Has anybody changed their first and/or last name (legally or socially)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link
    I read through a list of baby names, all the ones I could find, and when one jumped out at me, I wrote it down. From a list of ~20, one of them stood out, and I asked my friends and family to use...

    I read through a list of baby names, all the ones I could find, and when one jumped out at me, I wrote it down. From a list of ~20, one of them stood out, and I asked my friends and family to use that one. I haven't told the government about my name, but people have been using it for me for ~4 years.

    The main challenges are that my parents see it as a rejection of them to rebuke the name they gave me, and that it's a bit of a hassle sometimes to have 2 names.

    I use one of the other names some places online for anonymity. I recommend trying that out with whatever you pick, or maybe asking a friend or two to help you by using the name you're thinking about for a little before you commit.

    4 votes
  4. Comment on What's the longest running quandary/debate you've had with yourself? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    This helped me resolve, to some extent, my version of that debate:

    This helped me resolve, to some extent, my version of that debate:

    "The mere fact that I am acting on my wants does not mean that I am acting selfishly; that depends on what it is that I want. If I want only my own good, and care nothing for others, then I am selfish; but if I also want other people to be well off and happy, and if I act on that desire, then my action is not selfish."
    -- James Rachels, Egoism and Moral Scepticism

    4 votes
  5. Comment on What's the longest running quandary/debate you've had with yourself? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    The answer I've seen for Reddit is it brings ad revenue. Also on Twitter, controversy = engagement = more time on site = ad revenue.

    The answer I've seen for Reddit is it brings ad revenue. Also on Twitter, controversy = engagement = more time on site = ad revenue.

    6 votes
  6. Comment on Feeding an ebook addiction in ~books

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    Some things they're missing can be found on IRC ebook piracy channels. Only thing that I've found missing from both is mildly to very obscure occult books. For those I've seen discord servers.

    Some things they're missing can be found on IRC ebook piracy channels. Only thing that I've found missing from both is mildly to very obscure occult books. For those I've seen discord servers.

    2 votes
  7. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    I think they're really cool and I fully support people with the courage to mold language.

    I think they're really cool and I fully support people with the courage to mold language.

    The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
    - George Bernard Shaw

    3 votes
  8. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    I stay away from this topic. Personally, I'll only do coed sports like ultimate Frisbee. Easiest on everyone. Except people other than me who are trans and want to compete in gender segregated...

    I stay away from this topic. Personally, I'll only do coed sports like ultimate Frisbee. Easiest on everyone.

    Except people other than me who are trans and want to compete in gender segregated sports.

    Funny, I feel guilty for not ever having had the energy to go read up enough on this topic that I can defend my trans siblings.

    4 votes
  9. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    I do patches, because I'm scared of needles and I've got liver complications, and the patches bypass that.

    I do patches, because I'm scared of needles and I've got liver complications, and the patches bypass that.

    6 votes
  10. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    Julia Serano, in her book "Whipping Girl", defines gender identity as "subconscious sex", which I think is a pretty decent working definition. People with a different "subconscious sex" would...

    But I frequently wonder: would trans (or any other non-binary gender) have even entered our collective vocabulary if society didn't continue to perpetuate notions of 'for women' and 'for men.'

    Julia Serano, in her book "Whipping Girl", defines gender identity as "subconscious sex", which I think is a pretty decent working definition. People with a different "subconscious sex" would still feel out of place in their body, even if they were socially able to express themselves however they wanted.

    4 votes
  11. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    I think a useful construct is "gender euphoria" - the opposite of dysphoria. Some people won't have dysphoria towards their assigned gender, but do experience euphoria wrt another gender, and...

    I think a useful construct is "gender euphoria" - the opposite of dysphoria. Some people won't have dysphoria towards their assigned gender, but do experience euphoria wrt another gender, and transition for that reason.

    7 votes
  12. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    It's a term I've seen used in programming circles: http://catb.org/jargon/html/B/bikeshedding.html For example, using 2 vs 4 spaces for indenting code.

    It's a term I've seen used in programming circles:

    Technical disputes over minor, marginal issues conducted while more serious ones are being overlooked. The implied image is of people arguing over what color to paint the bicycle shed while the house is not finished.

    http://catb.org/jargon/html/B/bikeshedding.html

    For example, using 2 vs 4 spaces for indenting code.

    9 votes
  13. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    This feels a lot like bikeshedding to me. That said, short and inclusive don't have to be opposed - I like GSRM (Gender, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities). Otherwise, shorter is better, but nobody...

    This feels a lot like bikeshedding to me. That said, short and inclusive don't have to be opposed - I like GSRM (Gender, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities).

    Otherwise, shorter is better, but nobody likes being in the plus, so I think LGBTQ+ is an acceptable compromise.

    I feel different ways when I see the different initialisms. LGBT feels old but solid. LGBTQ feels a little more modern, with the plus feels like there's a bit extra effort to be inclusive. LGBTQQIAAP+ reaches the point where it feels like you should really revisit your approach, identifying the common characteristics instead of enumerating every value with them.

    Being recognizable is important, as a reason to prefer LGBT-prefixed initialisms.

    11 votes
  14. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    My girlfriend says it's "sorta like being a punk, but gay."

    My girlfriend says it's "sorta like being a punk, but gay."

    8 votes
  15. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    That I'm not straight. In my specific case, it means "it's complicated." There's people all over the gender spectrum, and those people have bodies in all kinds of combinations, and I can't quite...

    If you tell me you're "queer", what have I learned about your sexuality?

    That I'm not straight. In my specific case, it means "it's complicated." There's people all over the gender spectrum, and those people have bodies in all kinds of combinations, and I can't quite so easily slice and dice my feelings towards them, whether romantic or sexual.

    If someone told me they were queer in reference to their sexuality, my set of assumptions would be that they are at least somewhat attracted to the "same" gender, and to non-binary people. I'd probably be wrong sometimes, and this is only for queer as a sexuality, but I think that's the best I can do.

    Edit: scratch that. I'm pretty sure I'm just making generalizations about queer people.

    "Queer" is a "not" word: "I'm not cisgender and I'm not transgender."

    It's worse than that! I know cis people who identity as queer, binary trans people, and while I don't know any personally, I'm sure there are some straight (trans) people who do.

    10 votes
  16. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    I use it to describe my sexuality. I started using it from a position of uncertainty - whenever I felt I had a label that fit perfect, I found an exception or some way it didn't fit, or how I...

    I use it to describe my sexuality. I started using it from a position of uncertainty - whenever I felt I had a label that fit perfect, I found an exception or some way it didn't fit, or how I experienced attraction changed. I knew I was a girl, and I knew I wasn't straight, so I started using "queer" as a descriptor.

    As time passed, I started feeling more comfortable with the label. It's not just a placeholder now. It's me saying "I don't think a precise definition would be helpful." It's vague on purpose - but also because I really couldn't enumerate everything, even to myself. And I'm okay with that! I actually like how I don't feel like I have to chase down a set of labels to define and bind my identity.

    If someone says they're a queer person, to me that means they're not cishet. As a word it also carries a set of connotations - it's a reclaimed slur, for one thing. It carries a feeling of weirdness, but in a positive way. In that way, it's rebellious - "we're here, we're queer, get used to it." It (usually) is aligned with an anti-assimilationist viewpoint. So if someone uses it to describe themself, I can pretty reasonably assume they endorse the above. It's to me, more about identity style/attitude towards identity than identity itself.

    9 votes
  17. Comment on Recruiting for a panel for an LGBT-focused Q&A session on Tildes in ~lgbt

    reifyresonance
    Link
    This sounds fun and like something Tildes would be a good place for! name: reifyresonance identity: transfemme, queer, poly pronouns: she/they bio: 19, living in the southern US. Studied in China...

    This sounds fun and like something Tildes would be a good place for!

    name: reifyresonance

    identity: transfemme, queer, poly

    pronouns: she/they

    bio: 19, living in the southern US. Studied in China for a year and did a field research project on marginalized queer identities in Shanghai nightlife (talked to people in gay bars), so if anyone wants to hear my (white, American) thoughts on that, I'm game :). I also got to help start an LGBT organization at my school there! Spent the last six months or so doing computer programming, and was part of the workplace LGBT affinity group. (Also, general transgender questions.)

    6 votes
  18. Comment on How rigid/fluid is your gender and/or sexuality? in ~lgbt

    reifyresonance
    Link
    Lately I've preferred to remain ill-defined. Having more ambiguity means an identity fits over a wider possible range, and I can comfortably vary within it without having to soul-search. I...

    How would you describe the rigidity/fluidity of your identity or its different parts?

    Lately I've preferred to remain ill-defined. Having more ambiguity means an identity fits over a wider possible range, and I can comfortably vary within it without having to soul-search. I sexually identify as queer, for example, and I like not having an exact answer to questions, even my own, about who I'm into. My gender on the other hand... I've got a general answer that I give most people (female), a more specific, but also more vague one for friends (she/they pronouns), and a tighter definition that I use internally, mostly (genderflux between neutrois and female). Those are on an axis from public to private, and also from rigid to fluid. I figure as I get more sure of things, they'll percolate up, somewhat.

    Do you experience short-term changes in your identity?

    I do not have a memory of that happening.

    Have you experienced long-term changes in your identity?

    Yeah! For example, I thought I was a guy for like, the first 16 or so years of my life. I'm slowly figuring out who I'm into, which is complicated, because there's no control group, only a bunch of individual incredibly varied people out there.

    Does your identity have any elements that are unchanging long-term?

    Define long-term? I've, since I started thinking about gender, been drawn pretty consistently toward the feminine end of the spectrum, and I've generally been into androgynous people. Also girls whose name starts with E, but I think that was just coincidence.

    How does the fluidity/rigidity of your identity affect you? Are there advantages? Disadvantages?

    I feel a little constrained by the rigidity of the outer layer of "trans woman", because ugh I do not think my mother would react well or even understand me changing how I identify to her (again) and she'd just see it as me not knowing who I am, and reinforcement that she was right about not letting me start HRT. Especially if I start identifying as something less solely female. On the other hand, I don't KNOW she'd react that way, and maybe it'd be better than I think?

    Are you certain in your identity right now, or is it unclear to you at the moment?

    I've got a working model, and it seems effective enough, but at some point I'll probably reevaluate and see if it's the best for me.

    If you are uncertain, do you think a more definite identity will coalesce for you at some point?

    I have no idea! I'll probably refine my ability to read myself, and learn new vocabulary for talking about what's going on, and maybe things will shift from where they are now! For example, maybe I'll date a guy and have to reevaluate how that makes me feel.

    7 votes
  19. Comment on ‘Forever Chemicals’ Are in Your Popcorn—and Your Blood in ~health

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    I do feel like the popcorn I make in my one of those tastes weird... and it's a lot easier to burn. Still probably healthier than whatever's in packaged popcorn. It's not even that much more work...

    I do feel like the popcorn I make in my one of those tastes weird... and it's a lot easier to burn. Still probably healthier than whatever's in packaged popcorn.
    It's not even that much more work on the stove, it just takes longer and you have to shake it!

    1 vote
  20. Comment on ‘Forever Chemicals’ Are in Your Popcorn—and Your Blood in ~health

    reifyresonance
    Link
    If you're worried about this wrt microwave popcorn, or the fake butter flavor being dangerous, it's super easy and quick to make stovetop popcorn as a snack food. My favorite is Baby White Rice...

    If you're worried about this wrt microwave popcorn, or the fake butter flavor being dangerous, it's super easy and quick to make stovetop popcorn as a snack food.

    My favorite is Baby White Rice Popcorn, made with avocado oil and seasoned with salt and a little MSG.

    6 votes