reifyresonance's recent activity

  1. Comment on Bernie Sanders drops out of American presidential race in ~news

    reifyresonance
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    I'm joining my local Food Not Bombs to provide mutual aid to people in my community. Listening to a lot less outrage bait "news" about what Trump said this time. Got an interesting looking book to...

    I'm joining my local Food Not Bombs to provide mutual aid to people in my community. Listening to a lot less outrage bait "news" about what Trump said this time. Got an interesting looking book to read a friend recommended about "emergent strategy."

    The only bombs I'm for is seed bombs, baby 😎

    3 votes
  2. Comment on What it’s like to isolate with your girlfriend and her other boyfriend in ~life

    reifyresonance
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    This is called compersion and yeah it rocks! (as I'm sure you know, but I really like naming concepts for easier thinking.)

    A partner going to do something that makes them happy will make me happy and is something I actively encourage my partners to do.

    This is called compersion and yeah it rocks! (as I'm sure you know, but I really like naming concepts for easier thinking.)

    3 votes
  3. Comment on What it’s like to isolate with your girlfriend and her other boyfriend in ~life

    reifyresonance
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    Jumping in for a minute: if it's useful, here's a poly perspective on jealousy that I mostly agree with, from the book More Than Two: When I've experienced jealousy, looking at it in this way has...

    Jumping in for a minute: if it's useful, here's a poly perspective on jealousy that I mostly agree with, from the book More Than Two:

    Almost always, jealousy is rooted in some sort of fear: of abandonment, of being replaced, of losing the attention of someone you love, of being alone. Jealousy isn't really about the person you feel jealous of. It's about you: your feeling that you might lose something precious.

    It's so easy to pin responsibility for our emotions on other people. "You're making me feel this terrible thing. Stop doing that!" We forget that our emotions might be the result of our own insecurities rather than our partners' actions. When we transfer responsibility for our emotions to others, we yield control over our own lives.

    When I've experienced jealousy, looking at it in this way has helped me figure out what to do about it. It's been a process, but worth it, because now I'm much more sure of my own worth.

    4 votes
  4. Comment on Washington debate discussion thread in ~talk

    reifyresonance
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    I saw that the other day... anyone know why that might be?

    I saw that the other day... anyone know why that might be?

    5 votes
  5. Comment on Let's write some Tom Swifties! in ~creative

    reifyresonance
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    "These cuisses de grenouille are overcooked", Tom croaked.

    "Of all the animals, I can't believe you turned me into a cat!" Tom squeeked.

    Tom took a deep breath and opened yet another can of worms: "I don't enjoy fishing with you anymore, Mark."

    "This bath is the bomb", breathed Tom lusciously.

    "Wow, that bird was fast!" Tom exclaimed swiftly.

    6 votes
  6. Comment on Charleston Democratic debate Discussion thread in ~talk

    reifyresonance
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    Bloomberg had a quip about some hundred black New York politicians he helped elect being in the audience tonight... maybe that has something to do with it? Not those people specifically, but a...

    Bloomberg had a quip about some hundred black New York politicians he helped elect being in the audience tonight... maybe that has something to do with it? Not those people specifically, but a chosen audience.

    3 votes
  7. Comment on Calling them groups in ~tildes

    reifyresonance
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    What do you think would be better? Some specific piece of vocabulary, like "subtilde", or a less overused word, like "community" or "room"?

    What do you think would be better? Some specific piece of vocabulary, like "subtilde", or a less overused word, like "community" or "room"?

    4 votes
  8. Comment on What do I need to know about switching to a vegetarian diet? in ~health

    reifyresonance
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    Learn a good few staple meals - things you wouldn't mind cooking even if you go back to eating meat, that are somewhat easy, and tasty. Something you can look forward to! Ask IRL friends for...

    Learn a good few staple meals - things you wouldn't mind cooking even if you go back to eating meat, that are somewhat easy, and tasty. Something you can look forward to! Ask IRL friends for recipes; somehow things taste better if a friend taught you how to make them. Also it's fun to say "look I made this thing you told me about and it was really good!"

    My favorites are:

    • Vegetarian Mapo Tofu (Use any kind of mushrooms, don't forget the corn starch, it's easier to find "mapo dofu sauce" than Sichuan peppercorns)
    • Spaghetti Squash with some Vegetarian Spaghetti Sauce (feel free to sub tofu for fake meat, add a splash of something acidy)
    • Mexican breakfast bowls (no link, just improvise) (cumin and chilli powder are your friends, also a little fresh lime really makes it pop)
    3 votes
  9. Comment on What's the longest running quandary/debate you've had with yourself? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    (edited )
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    I had a bit of a break with reality, or maybe I saw things as they really were for a minute. (Can talk more about that in dm) I saw how everything we have wrought is so, so ugly. Roads are scars...

    I had a bit of a break with reality, or maybe I saw things as they really were for a minute. (Can talk more about that in dm) I saw how everything we have wrought is so, so ugly. Roads are scars on the land, the prison system is absolutely unforgivable, etc etc. The advice a friend gave me helped a lot:

    But people see what they want to see, and the world, and our very nature, makes us inclined to only care about ourselves and blind us to the suffering of others. There is ugliness and suffering in the world, but there is also beauty and joy. Concentrate on this moment, and the fact that one one will ever be able to enjoy it as you are. Consider how wondrous it is that you exist at all.

    Don’t focus too much on the world right now, just do you. If you want to save a drowning person, you have to know how to swim.

    I've found that intentionally being grateful for things helps. The world may be wrong, fundamentally, but there's still the trees and the grass and the wild geese. You can also find beauty in how people struggle for a better world.

    I am still convinced the world is all wrong. It is not wrong to the point where despair is the only option.

    I don't know if any of that is helpful, maybe I missed the mark completely, but if it might have been I thought I should share it.

    4 votes
  10. Comment on What's the longest running quandary/debate you've had with yourself? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
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    It's one I don't think I'll solve, but: "what is there, what is it like, and what should I do about it?" Also: what is the nature of mind? how am I conscious? [redacted by my own mind for...

    It's one I don't think I'll solve, but: "what is there, what is it like, and what should I do about it?"

    Also:

    • what is the nature of mind? how am I conscious?
    • [redacted by my own mind for potential existential panic] (I'm not sure what that one is but I'm not about to think about it right now!)
    • who am I? who will I be? (I'm a bit better at this one than I used to be)
    • what should I read next?
    • how can I be better?
    2 votes
  11. Comment on What's the longest running quandary/debate you've had with yourself? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
    Link Parent
    It's the world. 100%. But there's still a kind of beauty in it, both incidental and consequential from what I think you're talking about.

    It's the world. 100%.

    But there's still a kind of beauty in it, both incidental and consequential from what I think you're talking about.

    2 votes
  12. Comment on Has anybody changed their first and/or last name (legally or socially)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
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    I read through a list of baby names, all the ones I could find, and when one jumped out at me, I wrote it down. From a list of ~20, one of them stood out, and I asked my friends and family to use...

    I read through a list of baby names, all the ones I could find, and when one jumped out at me, I wrote it down. From a list of ~20, one of them stood out, and I asked my friends and family to use that one. I haven't told the government about my name, but people have been using it for me for ~4 years.

    The main challenges are that my parents see it as a rejection of them to rebuke the name they gave me, and that it's a bit of a hassle sometimes to have 2 names.

    I use one of the other names some places online for anonymity. I recommend trying that out with whatever you pick, or maybe asking a friend or two to help you by using the name you're thinking about for a little before you commit.

    5 votes
  13. Comment on What's the longest running quandary/debate you've had with yourself? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
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    This helped me resolve, to some extent, my version of that debate:

    This helped me resolve, to some extent, my version of that debate:

    "The mere fact that I am acting on my wants does not mean that I am acting selfishly; that depends on what it is that I want. If I want only my own good, and care nothing for others, then I am selfish; but if I also want other people to be well off and happy, and if I act on that desire, then my action is not selfish."
    -- James Rachels, Egoism and Moral Scepticism

    5 votes
  14. Comment on What's the longest running quandary/debate you've had with yourself? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
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    The answer I've seen for Reddit is it brings ad revenue. Also on Twitter, controversy = engagement = more time on site = ad revenue.

    The answer I've seen for Reddit is it brings ad revenue. Also on Twitter, controversy = engagement = more time on site = ad revenue.

    6 votes
  15. Comment on Feeding an ebook addiction in ~books

    reifyresonance
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    Some things they're missing can be found on IRC ebook piracy channels. Only thing that I've found missing from both is mildly to very obscure occult books. For those I've seen discord servers.

    Some things they're missing can be found on IRC ebook piracy channels. Only thing that I've found missing from both is mildly to very obscure occult books. For those I've seen discord servers.

    2 votes
  16. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
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    I think they're really cool and I fully support people with the courage to mold language.

    I think they're really cool and I fully support people with the courage to mold language.

    The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
    - George Bernard Shaw

    3 votes
  17. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
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    I stay away from this topic. Personally, I'll only do coed sports like ultimate Frisbee. Easiest on everyone. Except people other than me who are trans and want to compete in gender segregated...

    I stay away from this topic. Personally, I'll only do coed sports like ultimate Frisbee. Easiest on everyone.

    Except people other than me who are trans and want to compete in gender segregated sports.

    Funny, I feel guilty for not ever having had the energy to go read up enough on this topic that I can defend my trans siblings.

    4 votes
  18. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
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    I do patches, because I'm scared of needles and I've got liver complications, and the patches bypass that.

    I do patches, because I'm scared of needles and I've got liver complications, and the patches bypass that.

    6 votes
  19. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
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    Julia Serano, in her book "Whipping Girl", defines gender identity as "subconscious sex", which I think is a pretty decent working definition. People with a different "subconscious sex" would...

    But I frequently wonder: would trans (or any other non-binary gender) have even entered our collective vocabulary if society didn't continue to perpetuate notions of 'for women' and 'for men.'

    Julia Serano, in her book "Whipping Girl", defines gender identity as "subconscious sex", which I think is a pretty decent working definition. People with a different "subconscious sex" would still feel out of place in their body, even if they were socially able to express themselves however they wanted.

    5 votes
  20. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    reifyresonance
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    I think a useful construct is "gender euphoria" - the opposite of dysphoria. Some people won't have dysphoria towards their assigned gender, but do experience euphoria wrt another gender, and...

    I think a useful construct is "gender euphoria" - the opposite of dysphoria. Some people won't have dysphoria towards their assigned gender, but do experience euphoria wrt another gender, and transition for that reason.

    7 votes