A little story about the impact of suicide: In my senior year of high school, a boy who graduated a year ahead of us committed suicide. That day at school had been super bright and cheerful. We'd...
A little story about the impact of suicide:
In my senior year of high school, a boy who graduated a year ahead of us committed suicide.
That day at school had been super bright and cheerful. We'd had a little event earlier where a couple teachers shaved their heads and the vice principal got glitter and pink hairspray, as a reward for something. Then after lunch he called a meeting, wearing a hat over his hair. When he said he had bad news, I first thought it was a car accident. And then, to hear it was suicide, it was a gut punch. The best word is "hollow".
I remember being in shock. My jaw literally fell open. One of my friends slammed a fist into a locker and growled, "Dammit, (his surame)!" We got dismissed from school early, and the car ride home was quiet. My friends knew him better than me, they'd gone to middle school together, so they had it worse than me. But even as someone on the fringes, it hit me hard.
Though I rarely spoke to him, it was a small school so everyone knew everyone. I remember him talking to my friends about working on video games, and thinking how amazing that sounded. His senior project was a table that was also a touchscreen device, which just blew me away. He seemed like such a cool guy to me and had so much potential, so to hear he died that way... Yeah. It was just sad.
But what sticks out to me is when I went to college. I changed majors a couple times before ending up in game development, and really enjoyed the new classes. Then one day, a boy in one of my classes died over the weekend. It was an accident, but the mood was still somber and the next class opened with us talking about it. The teacher talked about how only a handful of students had died, and he mentioned a boy who committed suicide a few years ago... And he struggled to remember the last name, but said a familiar first name.
I got sudden chills, raised my hand and asked if it was the boy from my school. It was.
I can't really describe the goosebumps I got. I had no idea he'd attended the same university I did.
And suddenly, it was like I could see this alternate timeline where he was alive.
Had he been alive, I'd go to university a year later and could have run into him randomly. Naturally we would talk about our major, and I would find out that there's a major for video game development. I could skip waffling about Psych, and then English education, and go straight to that program. We'd inevitably share multiple classes given the nature of the program, and as fellow alumni of a tiny high school we'd naturally talk a bit and probably become friends. He was friends with my friends in the past, I could have brought him into the fold in my friend group.
Just, I had this vivid mental image of what could have been. People often wonder "what if," but I've never had such a clear vision of a possible timeline. I could envision the exact ways a chance encounter with him could change the direction of my life, even now I feel an odd feeling in my chest just describing it. It left me reeling for days.
And this potential future was cut off without either of us ever knowing it was a possibility.
Just... It's such a complicated thing, the impacts of suicide. There are the obvious effects like the grief of your family and friends, but then there are all the potential futures that are also lost. Usually, those "what could have been" scenarios are so vague and nebulous because they entail things that no one involved could foresee. But I got a glimpse at one that really, really could have happened, a timeline he never could have predicted, and it just made me all the sadder for what was lost.
I literally talked my close friend down from jumping off of a bridge that he was already standing on about two hours ago. So. I don’t know what to do with that.
I literally talked my close friend down from jumping off of a bridge that he was already standing on about two hours ago. So. I don’t know what to do with that.
Take a deep breath. You did something really great and you saved someone's life. That is wonderful and it's also overwhelming. Make sure you have your support - therapist, family, loved ones,...
Take a deep breath. You did something really great and you saved someone's life. That is wonderful and it's also overwhelming. Make sure you have your support - therapist, family, loved ones, friends, whomever you need to take care of yourself. Don't be surprised if you're less ok afterwards than you were during the situation. There's no right way to react after the fact.
Try to help, whether directly or not, your friend get more people in their support network.
I do suicide prevention training and work with suicidal people. I cannot mentally cope with having literally saved lives for more than a minute or so, so it gets shoved into a box and I go about my day. It's.. weird. But also, I know the work I do is good. You did really good.
Thank you, really. Sorry for the somewhat dramatic post without any context. I have a friend who’s had depression for most of his life, the whole time I’ve known him. I’ve been a part of his...
Thank you, really. Sorry for the somewhat dramatic post without any context. I have a friend who’s had depression for most of his life, the whole time I’ve known him. I’ve been a part of his support network as long as we’ve been friends, over a decade, but over the past four years he’s grown more and more desperate, and it’s led him to be shorter of temper and more rageful toward… well, everyone, but especially those closest to him. This has led to a steady dwindling of the rest of his support network. Today he got into yet another fight with his mom, who herself contributes to his distress as much as she helps, and called me as he was walking to the bridge.
This isn’t, by any stretch, the first time that almost precisely this has happened.
Hopefully we’ll still go to my therapy appointment tomorrow together like we planned.
Thank you for your kind words, again. I was feeling pretty numb when I posted this, but it helped to read what you wrote.
You did a selfless, good deed. I think you should be very very proud of yourself for that!! There are support groups for loved ones like you. Might be worth checking in your area? In mine, it's a...
You did a selfless, good deed. I think you should be very very proud of yourself for that!!
There are support groups for loved ones like you. Might be worth checking in your area? In mine, it's a charity organisation and volunteer based and totally free of charge
From this pdf or this page: Check in with loved ones Look out for those who are not coping You don’t need to have all the answers Don’t be afraid to ask someone if they are suicidal And this page...
Suicide is a major public health problem with far-reaching social, emotional and economic consequences. It is estimated that there are currently more than 700,000 suicides per year worldwide, and we know that each suicide profoundly affects many more people. Suicide remains a critical global issue, affecting individuals and communities worldwide.
Changing the narrative on suicide aims to inspire individuals, communities, organizations, and governments to engage in open and honest discussions about suicide and suicidal behaviour. By initiating these vital conversations, we can break down barriers, raise awareness, and create better cultures of understanding and support.
on September 10th
light a candle near a window at 8pm
to show your support for suicide prevention
to remember a lost loved one
and for the survivors of suicide
A little story about the impact of suicide:
In my senior year of high school, a boy who graduated a year ahead of us committed suicide.
That day at school had been super bright and cheerful. We'd had a little event earlier where a couple teachers shaved their heads and the vice principal got glitter and pink hairspray, as a reward for something. Then after lunch he called a meeting, wearing a hat over his hair. When he said he had bad news, I first thought it was a car accident. And then, to hear it was suicide, it was a gut punch. The best word is "hollow".
I remember being in shock. My jaw literally fell open. One of my friends slammed a fist into a locker and growled, "Dammit, (his surame)!" We got dismissed from school early, and the car ride home was quiet. My friends knew him better than me, they'd gone to middle school together, so they had it worse than me. But even as someone on the fringes, it hit me hard.
Though I rarely spoke to him, it was a small school so everyone knew everyone. I remember him talking to my friends about working on video games, and thinking how amazing that sounded. His senior project was a table that was also a touchscreen device, which just blew me away. He seemed like such a cool guy to me and had so much potential, so to hear he died that way... Yeah. It was just sad.
But what sticks out to me is when I went to college. I changed majors a couple times before ending up in game development, and really enjoyed the new classes. Then one day, a boy in one of my classes died over the weekend. It was an accident, but the mood was still somber and the next class opened with us talking about it. The teacher talked about how only a handful of students had died, and he mentioned a boy who committed suicide a few years ago... And he struggled to remember the last name, but said a familiar first name.
I got sudden chills, raised my hand and asked if it was the boy from my school. It was.
I can't really describe the goosebumps I got. I had no idea he'd attended the same university I did.
And suddenly, it was like I could see this alternate timeline where he was alive.
Had he been alive, I'd go to university a year later and could have run into him randomly. Naturally we would talk about our major, and I would find out that there's a major for video game development. I could skip waffling about Psych, and then English education, and go straight to that program. We'd inevitably share multiple classes given the nature of the program, and as fellow alumni of a tiny high school we'd naturally talk a bit and probably become friends. He was friends with my friends in the past, I could have brought him into the fold in my friend group.
Just, I had this vivid mental image of what could have been. People often wonder "what if," but I've never had such a clear vision of a possible timeline. I could envision the exact ways a chance encounter with him could change the direction of my life, even now I feel an odd feeling in my chest just describing it. It left me reeling for days.
And this potential future was cut off without either of us ever knowing it was a possibility.
Just... It's such a complicated thing, the impacts of suicide. There are the obvious effects like the grief of your family and friends, but then there are all the potential futures that are also lost. Usually, those "what could have been" scenarios are so vague and nebulous because they entail things that no one involved could foresee. But I got a glimpse at one that really, really could have happened, a timeline he never could have predicted, and it just made me all the sadder for what was lost.
I literally talked my close friend down from jumping off of a bridge that he was already standing on about two hours ago. So. I don’t know what to do with that.
Take a deep breath. You did something really great and you saved someone's life. That is wonderful and it's also overwhelming. Make sure you have your support - therapist, family, loved ones, friends, whomever you need to take care of yourself. Don't be surprised if you're less ok afterwards than you were during the situation. There's no right way to react after the fact.
Try to help, whether directly or not, your friend get more people in their support network.
I do suicide prevention training and work with suicidal people. I cannot mentally cope with having literally saved lives for more than a minute or so, so it gets shoved into a box and I go about my day. It's.. weird. But also, I know the work I do is good. You did really good.
Thank you, really. Sorry for the somewhat dramatic post without any context. I have a friend who’s had depression for most of his life, the whole time I’ve known him. I’ve been a part of his support network as long as we’ve been friends, over a decade, but over the past four years he’s grown more and more desperate, and it’s led him to be shorter of temper and more rageful toward… well, everyone, but especially those closest to him. This has led to a steady dwindling of the rest of his support network. Today he got into yet another fight with his mom, who herself contributes to his distress as much as she helps, and called me as he was walking to the bridge.
This isn’t, by any stretch, the first time that almost precisely this has happened.
Hopefully we’ll still go to my therapy appointment tomorrow together like we planned.
Thank you for your kind words, again. I was feeling pretty numb when I posted this, but it helped to read what you wrote.
I understand more than you know.
Take care of yourself. You're doing your best!
You did a selfless, good deed. I think you should be very very proud of yourself for that!!
There are support groups for loved ones like you. Might be worth checking in your area? In mine, it's a charity organisation and volunteer based and totally free of charge
I was not expecting my birthday to be World Suicide Prevention Day...
On the bright side, you were born one day shy of 9/11.
From this pdf or this page:
Check in with loved ones
Look out for those who are not coping
You don’t need to have all the answers
Don’t be afraid to ask someone if they are suicidal
And this page with resources.
The WHO has a page on suicide as well.
Finally, there is this symbolic action: