Self-help book marketing is bleak
I'm looking at some recommendations for books about childhood trauma and abuse. Every book is almost the same. Something with a very long title like "You Are Your Own Blorbo: 25 Strategies and Steps to Overcome Your Hurdles and Achieve CHIM".
Then there is the uninspired and very fake summary. And then some supposedly impressive quotes by some supposedly bigshot people.
When you check out the author, they're often mentioned as a therapist with [insert experience of a few decades that doesn't necessarily mean anything]. They don't generally even mention what kind of therapist the author is (a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a mental health councillor, a different type?). They certainly don't give too much specifics about the therapy techniques they're specialized in and actual education, you know, two very important things.
It all feels disingenuous and scammy.
Thanks to this dishonest marketing style of virtually every single book in the industry, none of it means anything. You could write the absolutely worst, actively hurtful book, and still get all of this plastered on.
Beyond this marketing illusion, I know there to be some books that are actually helpful (have read a few), but vast majority of self-help books are either scams or overselling their quality. The problem is, even quality books seem to have this marketing shtick going on. Internet isn't too helpful either, because people -especially laypeople- too often misjudge. The only way seems to be seeing what the fuss is about yourself. But that takes a lot of time, and there's also the possibility that you will come out of the other end with internalized crap. It's genuinely a soulless ordeal to sift through all this utter shit to find something of worth.
I know it's not hopeless, as I read some good books throughout the years, but damn can it feel that way. It's especially more frustrating when you're just trying to find something to help tackle problems, and you're met with a capitalist epistemological nightmare.
This is a rant, I absolutely detest this industry, but this post is also meant to start a discussion. There is something rotten about this, and I wonder what other people have experienced and think about it. Experiences, frustrations, solutions, etc. are all welcome.
I've read plenty of books that have helped me understand both myself and my place in the world over years. I just don't think any of them ever came from the self-help category. Which isn't to say there aren't good books of the type out there, it's just a category so overrun with the type of BS you describe that it feels impossible to sort the wheat from the chaff.
That being said, I 100% think that Vivec not only truly achieved CHIM, but that he alone among the Elder Scrolls characters so far came to understand that he was not just the product of a dreaming godhead, but the actuality that he was an NPC in a video game. He knew his role was to be defeated, but also that it truly didn't mean his end, as long as the dreamer keeps dreaming. I read a great essay about this years ago, I'll see if I can find the link.
This is so true for business books. Some guy has a successful company (probably because they either started out rich or got lucky), and now they're trying to "impart their wisdom". People promote them and name drop them because they worship success. If we all admitted that it was mostly luck and privilege, it would be too hard to put up with the toxic work culture, the shitty bosses, and the moral compromise for a dream that's just a roll of the dice. As Sam Thielman said, worshiping Cthulu doesn't save you, it just means you get eaten last.
So many self help and business books should have just been a podcast episode. They padded it out into chapters and dressed it up with anecdotes to make it thick enough to be convincing on the shelf. But the central idea is right there in chapter one or two. So that's what I do. I find a podcast where they are a guest and listen to them talk about their book.
Generally if I'm buying someone's nonfiction book, it's because I want to support their work, even if I have no intention of reading it.
Edit to add:
Tirade aside, The Body Keeps The Score is a big one about trauma and recovery.
Abuse + book = mandatory The Body Keeps the Score.
Also the cptsd book, and authors claudia black and bradshaw. You might also check out adultchildren.org.
It's like googling for cooking or a hobby: because just about anyone can write on the topic, the field is saturated with 'meh'. Take the same strategy: it's much better to find a kind person who has their life in order first, then follow them and see if they have written anything. It doesn't have to be self help either: their insightfulness, kindness and experiences are naturally inspiring and healing to read about.
For example I recently read Michelle Obama's The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times. I wasn't looking for a self help book and this one isn't pretending to be. But Michelle Obama is a person who worked super hard, seems like a genuinely kind person, and this book talks about the time her and Barrack Obama had to leave the white house to that man because the country chose that after their terms, and then the pandemic hit. It's a gentle book on how to pick up the pieces after hope seems to fade into bleakness.
Another example is someone I followed who has a lot of deep thoughts on trauma, time and despondency, and then I found her book called Under the Laurel Tree: Grieving infertility with saints Joachim and Anna.
Sometimes the self help books feature these ....steps....that just aren't helpful.
Signposts left by those who have been on this trail might help, when we can recognize them. But exact instructions, like, put your foot here on this since eroded rock, and stretch your full 8 feet to grab this next ledge... Less helpful.
The thing I have found most frustrating about self help books is the certainty tone they are written, "so easy, no skill involved! Be consoled and of good cheer this is a totally solvable situation!", such that if I fail to help myself, the blame lies only with me.
These days, I prefer reading hagiographies. I'm not required to believe they are literal truth; often times they end in death rather than earthly victory; and they are stories of men and women struggling not because they have the wherewithal to save themselves/others or change a regime or usher in peace on earth, but because they just find the right thing to do on that / each particular day. I find this attitude the only reasonable action left in the face of climate collapse.
I think you need at least 36 for that!
You know that if Vivec were in the here and now he'd be writing self-help books. "I'm a hermaphroditic half-golden living god, and so can you!"
Yeah. I have found some useful self help books on niche topics like procrastination that are actually written by experts. When Jane Burka says she spent her entire career counseling procrastinators, that is specific enough that it means something.
You could google the author or check them on linkedin... If they teach at a major university that might be a proxy for expertise.