Genderqueer/gender bender/genderfuck fashion
I was wondering if there were any fellow Waves that enjoyed dressing in a way that might confuse others on your gender, and if anybody had tips for others on how to blend masculine and feminine styles/presentation.
Definitions and sources on Genderfuck:
Genderfuck
Some nonbinary people may choose or need to present a 'clashing' combination of gender cues that are incongruous, challenging or shocking to those who expect others to fit the gender binary. For example, combining a beard with makeup and a padded bra. This practice of transgressively breaking the rules of gender presentation is known as genderfuck, genderfucking or sometimes genderpunk.
https://nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/Nonbinary#GenderfuckGender bender (also known as genderf*ck) is an informal term used to refer to a person who actively transgresses, or "bends," expected gender roles and presentation. This is usually achieved by combining masculine and feminine attributes in unexpected ways.
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Bender
I don't need to dress genderqueer to confuse people. Just having long hair is enough -- even though long-haired metalheads have been a thing for almost 50 years.
Do you identify as a guy?
I find it so silly that people are still surprised to see long haired men. We have a bunch of women cutting their hair short now, I wonder if the trend for men's hairstyles will start creeping the other way.
I don't have a gender. I just like to fuck women, and I don't need to bother using a strap-on. But the people around me are fucking ignorant. They see long hair, and immediately assume I'm a woman.
It happens even if I've gone a few days without a shave, and I'm all, "I'm the bearded lady. Who are you, one of the freaks?"
While gender and sexuality are entirely different (doesn't matter if you like to fuck women, men, enbies, or only some of them), I see what you mean.
I hate that hair length and style is gendered in western society. While the trend of women having short hair is helping, it's still gendered. Hell, I had one nonbinary friend that was told that their buzz cut was feminine, even though it's the same style that many men wear. It's insane.
I didn't know anything about eastern society, I can only judge for western. I specified western because I didn't want people to come out and say "Western society isn't all of society! It's not gendered in X/It's gendered like this in Y!"
How is it gendered in eastern society?
I am AFAB on T for a few months.
One of my favorite things to do is wear my binder with a dress that doesn't have any padding in the chest area. It looks like I have a muscular chest and a tank top on. I also have body hair on my armpits and legs, short hair, and my face is just starting to square out. My voice is still fairly high and I have more feminine voice inflections. The combination of flatter chest and body hair leads people to think I'm male, but the fashion is feminine.
Another favorite outfit is yoga pants, packer, binder, and a long Tshirt. It's a fairly feminine style, but the packer and binder give me a more masculine body shape.
Hey, congratulations!
About the feminine voice inflections, is it common to take classes to re-train your voice?
Thanks!
Classes, depends on your definition. I can't think of anywhere around me that would do classes in person. However, it's very common to watch videos to train. It seems more common for AMAB trans people to train for pitch, because taking estrogen doesn't naturally raise your voice. Those videos also tend to cover inflections from what I've seen.
But for us AFAB folx on testosterone, our voice naturally lowers. It is now impossible for me to speak at the same pitch that I did before (edit: without training). I could look at videos to help train my inflections, but I personally don't want to. I like the idea of having a low voice with more range to it.
I (cis male) used to wear my hair long from my late childhood until the end of my adolescence, all the way down my back. I caught so much flak and was even bullied for it throughout the years by different people, for different reasons, and in different countries even. Until one day people resigned themselves to the fact that I was going to wear my hair long and tie it in low ponytails forever, then I cut it.
Now some of my childhood friends are growing out their own hair because apparently it's starting to get fashionable now and I feel cheated.
Something similar has happened to me!
Growing up AFAB and hating my femininity I kept my hair super short because it was less feminine (though I also hated being mistaken as a boy, ha). Now so many women are cutting their hair short that I feel like I have to style it a specific way to be seen as masculine at work (if I'm going to be perceived on the binary, I really prefer masculine. And I can't actively genderfuck at work). I'm actually in the middle of deciding if I want to grow out my hair and keep it in a low ponytail like a few of my cis male friends.
There are some hairstyles, such as topknots/man buns, that are classically associated with more masculine styles. The lazy low ponytail somewhat works but they tend to complement it with some facial hair. In my case my low ponytail did nothing to make me look more masculine when I was younger.
Hopefully I'll be growing out a full beard too. Just a bit of stubble, nothing too much. That is, once the testosterone and genetics decide I'll get one...
That sounds awesome! Do you use any product in your hair or style it, or just let it hang?
I've always hated long hair on myself because I saw it as super feminine, but I've thought about growing it out and having a low ponytail now that T is taking effect.
Your gender identity is not the same thing as gender presentation! You can be male and prefer confusing presentation just fine. There are small things you can do that will throw people off while still being a bit more conservative. Jewelry is a big one. At work I dress more masculine/neutral, but I wear two dainty rings (feminine coded). Small gem based earrings help too, as does a more dainty necklace or bracelets. More colors or patterns in your shirts may stick out more, but tend to be more feminine coded.
Let me know how the thrift-out goes! I'm super interested to see what you find.
No problem!
I know talking to the queer community can be a bit intimidating. There was a wonderful comment the other day about how we can have a tendency to bite if we sense someone might hurt us (this comment by @Algernon_Asimov). One of the things I want to do here on Tildes is try and foster a section of the community that doesn't bite back.
I fit almost every letter of the acronym, let me know if you have any other questions!
Thank you! <pretends to blush modestly, but fails>
I was just talking about you with a friend and I realized that there's a label that I've heard that fits your experience (meaning there are more people that have similar experiences!).
Gender nonconforming is a exactly what it says on the tin, and it's getting more and more popular.
I'm late to the party, but happy to see this thread!
I'm non-binary and AFAB but usually get read as a guy. I've taken to maintaining long painted nails, and I've started to get into doing nail art as well. I'm usually pretty lazy about my appearance, but keeping my nails looking good makes me feel femme and fab. I get a surprising number of compliments from unexpected people as well.
Sadly I don't have the willpower for long or painted nails. I end up picking at them (the nail and the polish). The compliments from unexpected people is one of the best things. I was wearing my binder and dress with my hairy legs and armpits and super short plain hair one day at the grocery store. This person comes down the aisle and looks me up and down slowly. They then smile and say "I really like your dress." Had me smiling all day.
Btw, what are your pronouns?
Fair enough for the nails! I feel pretty blessed for not being disposed to picking and for having strong nails. And that sounds like such a nice moment! It's always good when strangers surprise you like that.
My pronoun is they/them. Yourself?
They/them as well. I have the extension that adds username tagging so now you have a pretty tag with pronouns (I've been doing it when I see them explicitly mentioned).