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  • Showing only topics with the tag "ask.survey". Back to normal view
    1. If you knew what homophobia was when you realized you weren't cis-het, what was it like realizing LGBT-phobia and discrimination was gonna be just as much a personal issue as a political one to you?

      To elaborate more, the realization that LGBT rights, marriage, transitioning, etc are more than just human rights, they're your rights and whenever homophobes succeed in stopping LGBT rights, your...

      To elaborate more, the realization that LGBT rights, marriage, transitioning, etc are more than just human rights, they're your rights and whenever homophobes succeed in stopping LGBT rights, your rights are stripped away by people who hate you.

      Also, If you're bisexual, did/do you ever consider just tagging along as if you were straight because you could and would rather not deal with homophobes? (Assuming this question makes sense)

      8 votes
    2. To those of you who have changed your name, what was it like for you?

      The question is open to anything that anyone wants to share about changing one’s name (e.g. social, familial, or legal proceedings), but in particular I’m most interested in what the personal...

      The question is open to anything that anyone wants to share about changing one’s name (e.g. social, familial, or legal proceedings), but in particular I’m most interested in what the personal process of deciding on a particular name was like for you. Was there one that just “clicked”? Did you try out different names until you found one that fit? Did you choose the name based on meaning, aesthetics, association, or something else entirely? How did it feel to change your own name in your own head? How did it feel when others started using it to refer to you? What do you like most about the name you chose?

      Also, I don’t want to pressure anyone to share their name since that is very identifying information, so feel free to share details of your experience without sharing your name itself — unless that’s something you’re comfortable with putting online here.

      22 votes
    3. Who are your favorite LGBT musicians/bands?

      I'm in a bit of a personal musical renaissance at the moment and am actively seeking out new music after having listened to the same albums for years, effectively playing them out. One of the...

      I'm in a bit of a personal musical renaissance at the moment and am actively seeking out new music after having listened to the same albums for years, effectively playing them out.

      One of the areas I'm interested in exploring is LGBT artists out there making good music, especially because it seems like so many have entered the scene in recent years. Let me know if you have any recommendations! I'm open to any genre.

      12 votes
    4. What are your thoughts on more nuanced sexuality labels and their relationship with lgbt?

      For example: demisexuality. Many that don’t identify as demisexual but hear of the term dismiss it altogether. Others that are members of lgbt fear that cishet people are trying to invade lgbt by...

      For example: demisexuality. Many that don’t identify as demisexual but hear of the term dismiss it altogether. Others that are members of lgbt fear that cishet people are trying to invade lgbt by splitting hairs.

      21 votes
    5. Are there any words/terms that people often use that are offensive to you/your group of people?

      Inspired from my conversation with @CALICO about how the word "trap" is offensive and how less than a day later, the r/animemes mod team has banned the word for the same reasons that he has cited,...

      Inspired from my conversation with @CALICO about how the word "trap" is offensive and how less than a day later, the r/animemes mod team has banned the word for the same reasons that he has cited, which has caused practically universal backlash and closed the sub to anything not related to that decision.

      6 votes
    6. What, if anything, did you do for Pride Month this year?

      Normally June is a time for celebration and demonstration for LGBT people in the USA (thanks for the correction, @Algernon_Asimov!), but on account of COVID and our need to protest widespread...

      Normally June is a time for celebration and demonstration for LGBT people in the USA (thanks for the correction, @Algernon_Asimov!), but on account of COVID and our need to protest widespread racial injustice, this past month felt like an unusually somber and isolated Pride Month.

      I'm wondering if anyone here did anything for Pride Month, whether it was a celebration, protest, reflection, creation, or something else entirely. If you didn't do anything, feel free to share why not as well. I think a lot of us are likely in similar boats.

      12 votes
    7. How rigid/fluid is your gender and/or sexuality?

      The following questions are aimed at gender identity, gender expression, romantic orientation, and/or sexual orientation. To cut down on wordiness, all the questions below will just say...

      The following questions are aimed at gender identity, gender expression, romantic orientation, and/or sexual orientation. To cut down on wordiness, all the questions below will just say "identity", but know that I'm asking about any and all of the different parts that make up our gendered, romantic, and sexual selves.

      You don't necessarily need to answer regarding all axes or focuses: choose the ones most salient or meaningful to you and your experiences. Furthermore, these questions are open to all, including people who don't identify as LGBT.

      • How would you describe the rigidity/fluidity of your identity or its different parts?
      • Do you experience short-term changes in your identity?
      • Have you experienced long-term changes in your identity?
      • Does your identity have any elements that are unchanging long-term?
      • How does the fluidity/rigidity of your identity affect you? Are there advantages? Disadvantages?
      • Are you certain in your identity right now, or is it unclear to you at the moment?
      • If you are certain, do you think that certainty will persist, or might things change in the future?
      • If you are uncertain, do you think a more definite identity will coalesce for you at some point?

      As always, the questions are just jumping off points and don't need to be treated like a quiz. Also, just to be clear, I am asking this purely out of curiosity and am in no way trying to assert that a more rigid/fluid identity is better/worse. Likewise, I'm not trying to cast judgment on anyone still questioning or engaging in self-discovery. Your process and your identity are valid wherever you're at and however you feel. I'm simply interested to hear what your experiences are, whoever you are.

      27 votes
    8. LGBTQ individuals, how's life?

      I'm curious how many of us there are on here. This was asked awhile ago but I'm curious how things might have changed since then. Some ideas for discussion: When did you realize you weren't...

      I'm curious how many of us there are on here. This was asked awhile ago but I'm curious how things might have changed since then. Some ideas for discussion:

      • When did you realize you weren't cis/straight/etc?
      • Are you out or still in the closet?
      • How's the social situation where you live? (Are you accepted?)
      • In a relationship? If so, how did you meet?
      • Anything on your mind? (Doesn't have to be related to your identity/orientation.)
      28 votes
    9. Who are your favorite fictional LGBT characters?

      The question follows the lead of our community name: LGBT in the title refers to the LGBT umbrella and isn't limited to the identities represented by the initials. The character can be from any...

      The question follows the lead of our community name: LGBT in the title refers to the LGBT umbrella and isn't limited to the identities represented by the initials.

      The character can be from any media source: shows, movies, anime, books, comics, videogames, even song lyrics, or anything else I've missed. The only criteria is that they have to be fictional.

      • Who is the character and how are they portrayed?
      • What do you like about them?
      • Do they resonate with your own experience or those of people you know in any way?
      11 votes
    10. Who are your LGBTQ heroes/role models?

      Who are the LGBTQ individuals you look up to or admire? In what ways do you find them inspiring or admirable? Has their example and influence helped you in your own life? If so, how? Don't feel...
      • Who are the LGBTQ individuals you look up to or admire?
      • In what ways do you find them inspiring or admirable?
      • Has their example and influence helped you in your own life? If so, how?

      Don't feel like you have to talk about someone famous: plenty of LGBTQ heroes are the people we know personally, and I would love to hear those kinds of stories. Also, feel free to include people who don't identify as LGBTQ but who still fit the criteria of a role model/hero for the community (e.g. Judy Shepard, Jonathan Larson, a supportive straight sibling, etc.).

      15 votes
    11. What are your thoughts on Pride Month?

      Some questions to consider: How do you feel about it as a whole? What is your experience with it like? Do you go out, celebrate, march, get involved? Does it connect you to others or affirm your...

      Some questions to consider:

      • How do you feel about it as a whole?
      • What is your experience with it like? Do you go out, celebrate, march, get involved? Does it connect you to others or affirm your identity?
      • What positives does it bring to the table?
      • What critiques do you have of it?

      This last one can be treated as hypothetical but might apply to some real experiences as well--either are valid:

      • If you chose to march in a parade to bring awareness to an issue, what cause would you represent? How would you show it, or what would your sign say? Who would you want there alongside you?
      18 votes
    12. What's your coming out story?

      Not sure if this has been asked before, I vaguely remember seeing it but I'm not sure! Personally, I'm still in the process of coming out - I've only come out to 1 person (a nurse), and I utterly...

      Not sure if this has been asked before, I vaguely remember seeing it but I'm not sure!

      Personally, I'm still in the process of coming out - I've only come out to 1 person (a nurse), and I utterly dread the day that I need to tell friends and family.

      25 votes
    13. What song(s) so you consider to be your personal LGBT anthem(s)?

      They don't have to be anthems in the strict sense of the word. Any type or genre is fair game. I'm interested in hearing about any songs that helped you connect with or express your identity. It...

      They don't have to be anthems in the strict sense of the word. Any type or genre is fair game.

      I'm interested in hearing about any songs that helped you connect with or express your identity. It can be something overtly intended to represent LGBT individuals or narratives, or it can simply be something with an abstract theme that resonates with your experiences.

      10 votes
    14. How did you discover your sexuality?

      Hey Waves! I've been wondering how other people discovered they were bi, or gay, or pan, or ace, or straight, or anything else. You can tell stories of your first crush, how things just 'felt...

      Hey Waves!

      I've been wondering how other people discovered they were bi, or gay, or pan, or ace, or straight, or anything else. You can tell stories of your first crush, how things just 'felt right', anything.

      14 votes
    15. On the matter of calling a child "they"

      I thought about posting this as a comment in the other active pronoun conversation but I didn't want to derail it with a tangent. For starters I should make it clear I believe honoring someone's...

      I thought about posting this as a comment in the other active pronoun conversation but I didn't want to derail it with a tangent. For starters I should make it clear I believe honoring someone's pronoun preferences is a matter of basic decency and respect. Conversely, insisting on using a different word when you know someone doesn't like it is, frankly, a jerk move. It's being antagonistic for no good reason.

      That said, an acquaintance recently informed me that her 4-year-old prefers to use the pronoun "they." I have to admit something about this situation doesn't sit right with me. I'm also the parent of a 4-year-old, and it's clear to me that kids that age aren't developmentally equipped to make an informed decision about gender identity.

      I can't help but feel like the parents are putting words in their kid's mouth, projecting a non-binary assumption onto a minor who lacks the cognitive and emotional maturity to manage it in any meaningful way. Saddling a preschooler with that kind of baggage just strikes me as irresponsible parenting.

      I'm not saying there should be some kind of hard-line age of consent, just that four is too young. One ought to be far enough along developmentally to come to one's own conclusions about pronouns and gender presentation.

      Apologies if I'm strawmanning, but I guess the argument could be made that all kids should be referred to as "they" — by default — until they reach an appropriate age to choose their own gender identities. I can sympathize with that as a goal, but it strikes me as unrealistic. I don't think society would ever be able to attain that kind of widespread change.

      I'm curious what my fellow tilders think about this subject. (FWIW, I am referring to this kid as "they" and keeping my objections to myself, apart from this discussion.)

      11 votes