I don't want to rehash US election stuff here, but I wanted to make a space for fears and support, and idk, some community here for us. Don't feel obligated to focus on the US election, but if that's what you're dealing with it's an ok space for those feelings.

I thought this might be a nice thread for folks to share some happy LGBTQ things, more personal things than news but if it impacts you personally, go for it. I was just sitting on the porch wearing my Totally Gay shirt thinking we needed a happy thread.

Share moments of Pride, queer joy, winning against those who would discriminate, whatever strikes you.

Ask almost anything

Last week had a focus on understanding. This week has the same focus but with a different angle.

Use this topic to ask almost any question you want to ask, including those you’re worried might come across poorly if brought up elsewhere.

If you feel equipped to answer a question, answer it!

Importantly: this is a safe space in which you can ask questions free from judgment. The vibe we're going for is a classroom, not a battleground.

Discussions like this can often cause intense emotions, but I want us to be especially vigilant in keeping this topic conflict- and aggression-free (see: Thermostat Rule below). If a fight breaks out in a classroom, learning stops, so conflict is counterproductive to our goals here. Disagreements are fine; disses are not. In all of these threads I have said that we should "be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots." Let's put that into practice here.

If you feel that a user is deliberately breaking any of the norms for this topic, do not engage them. It is more productive to simply mark their comment as noise and not respond. In the extremely rare case that you believe someone is actively intending to do harm, please mark their comment as malice.

Ground Rules

• Curiosity Rule: The reason that this is "ask almost anything" instead of "ask literally anything" is that your question has to come from a place of genuine curiosity -- you must honestly want to learn more. This is not a place to ask rhetorical questions to make a point or provocative questions to stir the pot.

• Good Faith Rule: assume all users here are acting in good faith and read their words in the best possible light. This goes for both those asking the questions and those answering as well.

• Thermostat Rule: the thermostat is set for this topic, meaning the heat should not rise. If you find that you might say something that would raise the temperature in the topic, please reword it, step away to cool down for a bit, or ignore the topic entirely.

Guidelines

• Experience Guideline: if a question is directed at people with specific identities/experiences, the bulk of their answers should come with people aligned with those identities/experiences. For example, a question directed at trans people should be primarily (but not necessarily exclusively) answered by trans people. The reason this is a guideline and not a rule is that there are many ways a rule would cut out valuable discourse -- e.g. people who are still questioning their identities; a cis person who wants to talk about the experiences of their trans partner, etc.

• Multiple Answers Guideline: even if a question has already been answered by someone else, it is okay to give another answer if you have more to add or a different perspective to share.

• Volunteer Guideline: if you are open to answering questions about specific topics, instead of making a top-level comment with a question, make a top level comment stating what you're willing to share about (e.g. "I'm happy to answer questions about ace spectrum terminology"). People can then respond to you directly with their questions.

Full Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics (especially this one!).

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: (teaser: windows and mirrors)
June 19th:
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

What did you do for Pride Month?

This is the final topic of our Pride Month series!

Share anything you did this month that fits with the theme of Pride.

Anything goes! Big things, small things, public things, personal things. If it was queer or queer-supportive, then it counts! Even if it was just commenting in some of these topics, feel free to talk about that.

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Full List of Topics

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: What media representation resonated with you personally?
June 19th: How are things with your family?
June 22nd: What are you worried about?
June 25th: What are you hopeful about?
June 28th: What did you do for Pride Month?

What are you hopeful about?

The flipside to last week:

Looking forward, what are you hopeful about? What good do you see on the horizon?

You can share hopes that are social, political, personal, or something else entirely.

Addenda:

• These don’t have to be big picture things — they can be tiny or insubstantial hopes as well.

• Sharing hope can be hard because it can feel like you’re being dismissive of struggle, but remember that struggle is often possible to endure only because of hope. Posting hope is a way of helping others, not disregarding them.

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: What media representation resonated with you personally?
June 19th: How are things with your family?
June 22nd: What are you worried about?
June 25th: What are you hopeful about?
June 28th: (teaser: ending on a good note)

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

Is it just another set of pronouns to you? Does it trigger you, or bother you in any way? Do you use it/its (or know someone who does), and if so how have people responded?

I can see arguments for all sides of this, but haven't seen much discussion about it. So, what are your thoughts?

What are you worried about?

We started Pride month looking back, then we learned a bit more about others, then we reflected more on ourselves. I want to finish the month off by looking forward. The next two topics will ask about the future. This one asks about worries; the next one asks about hope.

Looking forward, what are you worried about? What concerns you most?

You can share worries that are social, political, personal, or something else entirely.

Addenda:

• Similar to last week: this is a safe space to talk about difficulties if you need to.

• Remember that unsolicited advice can come across as dismissive. It’s better to affirm and commiserate than trying to solve the problem (unless they specifically ask for help).

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: What media representation resonated with you personally?
June 19th: How are things with your family?
June 22nd: What are you worried about?
June 25th: (teaser: looking ahead, with optimism)
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

How are things with your family?

Share your current situation with your family, biological or chosen.

I debated whether or not to put this in the Pride Month topic rotation, because I know it can be a difficult topic for some and isn’t necessarily something with a celebratory/advocacy spirit.

I ended up deciding to include it though because I think space to process is also important. Hopefully people find value in it.

Addenda:

• This is a safe space to talk about difficulties if you need to.

• Sharing successes/positives is absolutely valuable too and can give hope to others.

• If someone shares hardship or sorrow, remember that unsolicited advice can come across as dismissive. It’s better to affirm and commiserate rather than trying to solve the problem (unless they specifically ask for help).

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: What media representation resonated with you personally?
June 19th: How are things with your family?
June 22nd: (teaser: looking ahead, with concern)
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

What media representation resonated with you personally?

In teaching, we talk about kids’ need to access diverse literature in the framing of “mirrors” and “windows”. A mirror is a character that the child can see themselves in; a window is a character that is different and requires perspective-taking.

A gay child seeing a gay character in a story might see that character as a mirror of themselves, while straight readers might see the character as a window instead, offering some perspective into what it’s like to be gay.

No mirror or window is a perfect match, of course, and people can still identify with characters who don’t exactly align with their identities (which is what makes fiction such a powerful tool for empathy!).

Share some of the characters and people that have resonated with you (whether as windows or mirrors) across any media types (books, movies, television, music, comics, anime, podcasts, etc.).

They can be people who helped you understand yourself better, or people who gave you insight into others' experiences (or both!).

Addenda:

• They do not need to be fictional characters. Real-world people can be windows and mirrors too!

• You don’t have to specify whether someone’s a "window" or a "mirror" for you unless you want to. It’s a simple shorthand way of helping kids understand the concept, but it can feel a little limiting and boxy for adults to use it, since people and characters are complex individuals.

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: What media representation resonated with you personally?
June 19th: (teaser: a check-in on those close, or maybe not so close, to us)
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

What's something you wish more people understood?

What are the common (or not so common) misconceptions you have to live underneath?

What are the parts of your experience that don't seem to be widely portrayed/known?

What do you wish more people understood because genuinely understanding that could genuinely help them too?

Addenda:

• This does not have to be strictly factual. It can be based in experiences and beliefs.

• It can be based in yourself, in a larger identity that you share with others, or something else entirely.

• Try to avoid any responses that include a spite for other people's ignorance. Center them instead in the earnest desire to be both truthful and known. (Write your response for today's lucky 10,000 rather than today's bigots.)

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: (teaser: a chance to understand more)
June 16th:
June 19th:
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?

Last week we looked at people in the past, but this week I want us to turn the focus more towards ourselves and the experiences we've had.

I want you to think back across the span of your particular life and identify the positive changes that you've personally witnessed regarding LGBT people and causes.

Addenda:

• These positive things can be at any level: yourself, your friend(s), your family, your community, your country, society, the world at large, etc.

• These positive changes do not have to be "big" or political (though they certainly can be). It is perfectly fine to share your own small, personal stories. If they're positive, then they count!

• These can come from any domain: personal life, law, entertainment, science, careers, etc.

• I'm certainly aware that there are still many negative things that hurt us and our community out there. I don't want this topic to be something that paints a false, saccharine picture of our world, but I think it's important to take broad and open stock of situations and remind ourselves of any positives. Not only is Pride partly about hope, but focusing on positives can be a powerful tool against despair.

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: (teaser: maybe a chance to be better understood?)
June 13th:
June 16th:
June 19th:
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?

We, in 2024, come from a long lineage of people who have fought for and advocated for queer causes and identities. We have those who came before us to thank for many of our rights, the terminology that we apply to ourselves, and even our very own self-concepts. The dignity that many of us are able to live with today is only possible because of people who asserted, against often significant pushback, that our dignity should be non-negotiable.

I think it would be great if we could all share some of their stories here. It's a way of keeping their memories alive, honoring their contributions, and saying thank you for the path that they laid and upon which we now walk.

Please share the story of at least one historical figure that was an LGBT advocate that you admire. Please do not just link to a Wikipedia page or an article about them -- take the time to tell us their story in your own words.

If you do not have one in mind immediately, that's fine! This is also a great opportunity to do some research. Wikipedia has a good starting point, but feel free to explore on your own.

A few addenda:

• Feel free to connect their story to your own experiences and share why you, personally, find them admirable.

• For the purposes of this post, "historical" does not mean "ancient." If the person came before you and was a trailblazer for queer causes, then they count!

• The person themselves does not have to actively identify as someone under the LGBT umbrella. Straight allies can be trailblazers too, as can historical figures whose specific identities were ambiguous or don't map on to our modern identities and terminology.

• The individual's advocacy does not have to specifically be political in nature. Many historical figures were queer advocates simply by openly being themselves. That absolutely counts!

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: (teaser: you might have to look back in time again, but this time a little closer to home)
June 10th:
June 13th:
June 16th:
June 19th:
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

Event Overview

June 1st marks the beginning of Pride Month for many countries around the world, and we're going to have our own little celebration here on Tildes!

I have come up with ten different discussion topics centered on sharing, celebrating, and understanding queer life and experiences. I will post one every four days throughout the month of June.

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics. Also, I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: (teaser: you might have to look back in time a little bit)
June 7th:
June 10th:
June 13th:
June 16th:
June 19th:
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

#1 - Introductions and Playlist

This is the inaugural post -- the beginning of our little month-long discussion topic Pride Parade!

There are two tasks for this post:

1. Introduce yourself to everyone and share any information about yourself that you feel comfortable sharing. Who are you? How do you identify? What’s important for people to know about you? Are you excited about anything? Are you doing anything for Pride Month IRL?

2. A good Pride Month needs a good Pride Playlist! Link to some of your favorite queer-themed songs or tracks from LGBT artists so that we can crowdsource an awesome collection of music to listen to throughout the month.

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

For anyone here who has chosen your own name, what was that process like?

What factors did you consider? Did you go based on meaning, aesthetics, vibes? Something else entirely? A mix of all of the above?

Was it an easy decision? A difficult one? How long did it take you to decide? I’d love to hear your story.

I’m not mulling over the decision myself or anything — I’m just curious about the process and would love to know more.

What are some of the lessons you've learned about life, love, gender, personhood, etc. because of your LGBT identity?

What wisdom can you share with others here -- whether they share an identity with you or not?

Also, "LGBT" here is being used as an umbrella term as it is in our community name of ~lgbt. It applies to any and all minority sexualities and gender identities. You do not have to be listed in the initialism to answer!

Inspired by this amazing post and the subsequent discussion about the need for more queer joy:

What's a recent queer milestone you've reached/experienced in your life?

It can be something big, but it can also be something small but still meaningful. It can be an event (coming out!), a realization (oh so THAT'S who I am!), a feeling (dress go spinny!), a moment (holding hands!), a recognition (they used male pronouns!), or anything else that is distinctly queer and noteworthy.

Share what it is, what you think about it, and why it's meaningful.

Note: I've had these thoughts for a while, but I didn't think to post until I read @guttersnipe's semi-unrelated comment in another thread.

I'm queer, but I'm also a quiet introvert. I don't really drink much, and as of lately, loud events exceed my capacity for sensory input. I just... don't really have it in me to party?

Yet, everywhere I seem to look, 'queer culture' seems to be heavily equated with partying. My partner's gay best friend goes downtown and parties til the break of dawn for Pride. Pitchfork runs features like "Fear Will Not Stop Queer Nightlife". To celebrate seems to mean to be loud and out and proud, to be bright and neon, to be camp and flamboyant, to let loose. Late nights, clubs, DJs, raves... it's all just... too much for me? In fact, I sort of feel a disconnect with western queer culture as a whole? It just feels so... extroverted...

I don't want to just do nothing, though, like I've done year after year. I feel left out, like I'm missing out on some sort of collective experience.

So, what are some alternative ways to celebrate? Do you celebrate Pride in ways that deviate from the norm?

It's empty in here, so I figured I'd break the ice. Hi. I'm "Albinanigans" bumbling around (and a recent deflector from Reddit... but you probably guessed that). I am a transgender non-binary Black person who likes to ramble on the Internet.

I have a question for the floor: what do you do for gender affirmation? What gives you gender euphoria?

My answer: I recently received a hysterectomy, and it was pretty affirming! It is one less thing to cause dysphoria. I also like mixing and matching femme and masc clothing in my outfit.

So, yeah, happy to be here! Hope to talk more soon.

Coming out is a different experience for everyone, for some it's a fraught and stressful experience, for others it's an easy and smooth process.

People react differently to the news, geography and demographics can play into the likelihood of a negative reaction, so many factors that can be difficult to handle or worry about.

So how did you go about it and how did it go?
How have things been since and is there anything you'd do differently?

For me personally (a trans woman) it's a long and ongoing process. I first came out to my best friend in 2018, she's trans just like me so it was easy and she and I were always very close and trusting. We've since started a relationship and are now engaged. I literally just spoke to her and talked about my feelings and she accepted me immediately.

Next was my mum, my family are friendly and loving but none of us are overly close or open about our feelings with each other, I have a long history of anxiety which created a barrier for me coming out, I don't think I came out to my mum until either late 2019 or early 2020. She was in the living room on her own and I asked to speak, we sat down and had a heart to heart and she was understanding and supportive, though she didn't know much about trans people. Things seemed fine initially but a few days later when she picked me up form work she broke down in the car crying, saying how it's a big change and how she felt like she was losing her son. It was a lot, more than I could handle and this may be selfish of me, but it was the opposite of what I needed at a time when I was feeling very fragile. We talked more and she came around and has since been very supportive and helped me a lot.

Other family members I never really formally came out to, but folks have slowly cottoned on to what's happening and it hasn't been an issue.

Work however is a different situation. That aforementioned anxiety has prevented me from coming out to this day. In work I hide my feminine features and pretend I'm a guy. It's getting harder by the day to hide it but not knowing how folks will react is worrying. Legally I'll be protected from harm, but socially this could ostracise me from my colleagues. I live in the UK and anti-trans rhetoric has been on the rise in recent years, and if the folks I work with directly don't take it well, while they couldn't openly discriminate, they could make my work life unpleasant and difficult. It'll have to happen eventually (possibly soon) but I'm putting it off until the last possible moment. The fear is paralysing.

On the topic of work, at my last employer I did come out to my two closest colleagues privately, they're still my friends to this day and have had no issues. It was difficult, my heart was pounding and we were saying farewell to another colleague who had been a strong LGBT+ ally in the workplace, it felt like the right time and things worked out well, there were hugs all around which was honestly a far better reaction than I could've hoped for.

So for me, to this day I'm still coming out, slowly, one step at a time. I'd probably do it differently if I could go back, just rip off the whole thing with everyone at once, but that would rely on me being braver than I actually am. The approach I have taken however has been safe and cautious, and has mostly worked out for me.

Apologies for the long story! I'd love to hear all of yours.

Back when Tildes was in cozy mode we had a small contingent of LGBT users across the site who all pretty much came to know each other over time. Now that we're undergoing a huge influx of users though, there are so many new names and faces! I'd love for everyone to get to know everyone, but rather than just sharing how you identify, I'd love this to be a place where people can share their story -- the road of how you arrived at being the person you are and identify as.

So, feel free to share as much of your story as you are comfortable with, and feel free to change/omit any identifying details if maintaining your personal privacy is important to you.

Also, a note to new users: a few years ago we had a vote to determine whether we should change the name of the group from ~lgbt to something else like ~lgbtq or ~queer. The vote came out in favor of keeping it as ~lgbt, but opted to add text to the description of the group clarifying that it is inclusive:

The umbrella term "LGBT" includes all minority sexualities and gender identities. Everybody is welcome to participate.

So, even if your identity is not included in the LGBT initialism, this is still a space for you! If you're ace, pan, intersex, gender non-conforming, gender fluid, non-binary, or any of the other many identities that fall under the LGBT umbrella, this is your community too. Even if you're not sure yet -- that's okay too! We're happy to have you here.

Also, to users who are cis/straight and are still subscribed to ~lgbt, you're welcome here too. We love our allies!

I would probably be considered asexual, but I've never really tied too much if my identity to it or anything.

The reason being that I find myself a little put off by the political nature of social advocacy. I'm non straight and non white and non neurotypical, but never in the "popular" kind if way. I'm not BIPOC or LGBTQ or whatever the hip neurological problem to have is.

I'm wondering if anyone else has this kind of perspective. I realize asking this in an LGBT forum is probably not likely to reach people that feel alienated from identifying with the LGBT community, but I'm just seeing if there's other lurkers like me on.

Have you done pride events with or at your company? Mine is going to be in the parade and I can walk with them. CFO is gay and they have been very helpful with my transition so I don't feel like they are faking it.

For others, how has your workplace acted or have they done anything related?

My fiancée and I are going to Provincetown, MA to celebrate both Pride and her birthday.

Her mothers used to take her to Ptown every summer as a kid, so as an ally I’m looking forward to soaking up the positive vibes and getting to know this place that’s so special to her. I’ve been learning more about the town and what it’s meant to the LGBTQ+ community over the last few decades.

It shouldn’t have had to be a hideaway but it’s so cool that such a place exists and that it feels so separate from the rest of the country via that long drive out on the Cape.

The world is certainly a scary place right now but this month is full of so much love. Are any of y’all going to any parades or events to celebrate?

Pride month has already started, so - as per the title - what are you doing for Pride this week?

Are there any cool events where you live? Is the encroaching summer making it hard to choose between hugging the AC and ironing your flags? Are you still in the closet, and would you like to vent about it?

(Topics like this need people to have more sympathy for the other because we're talking about real people's sexualities and discrimination these people often face every day and have deep feeling abouts, so be nice.)

If I had to (uneducatedly) guess, some of them would be:

• Your sexuality (and the word allosexual) being as good as unknown by most people.

• Asexuality being a big umbrella (hence the title being demisexual/demiromantic/asexual/aromantic rather than just asexual)

• Allosexual and aromantic people being confused for "people who only want sex"

• People not believing you when you say that.

• Being perceived as an anomaly or lying, along with people promising that you will realize the truth one day.

• Overly religious people seeing your sexuality as a virtuous rejection of degenerate lust/sin and as an unnatural anomaly simultaneously.

• People seeing your sexuality as being "free" from dating or porn consumption or above identifying yourself by how un-sexed you are. (True, but obviously very reductive and usually contingent on the insecurities of the people seeing you that way.) (This is admittedly something I struggle with.)

To elaborate more, the realization that LGBT rights, marriage, transitioning, etc are more than just human rights, they're your rights and whenever homophobes succeed in stopping LGBT rights, your rights are stripped away by people who hate you.

Also, If you're bisexual, did/do you ever consider just tagging along as if you were straight because you could and would rather not deal with homophobes? (Assuming this question makes sense)

The question is open to anything that anyone wants to share about changing one’s name (e.g. social, familial, or legal proceedings), but in particular I’m most interested in what the personal process of deciding on a particular name was like for you. Was there one that just “clicked”? Did you try out different names until you found one that fit? Did you choose the name based on meaning, aesthetics, association, or something else entirely? How did it feel to change your own name in your own head? How did it feel when others started using it to refer to you? What do you like most about the name you chose?

Also, I don’t want to pressure anyone to share their name since that is very identifying information, so feel free to share details of your experience without sharing your name itself — unless that’s something you’re comfortable with putting online here.

I'm in a bit of a personal musical renaissance at the moment and am actively seeking out new music after having listened to the same albums for years, effectively playing them out.

One of the areas I'm interested in exploring is LGBT artists out there making good music, especially because it seems like so many have entered the scene in recent years. Let me know if you have any recommendations! I'm open to any genre.

For example: demisexuality. Many that don’t identify as demisexual but hear of the term dismiss it altogether. Others that are members of lgbt fear that cishet people are trying to invade lgbt by splitting hairs.

Inspired from my conversation with @CALICO about how the word "trap" is offensive and how less than a day later, the r/animemes mod team has banned the word for the same reasons that he has cited, which has caused practically universal backlash and closed the sub to anything not related to that decision.

Normally June is a time for celebration and demonstration for LGBT people in the USA (thanks for the correction, @Algernon_Asimov!), but on account of COVID and our need to protest widespread racial injustice, this past month felt like an unusually somber and isolated Pride Month.

I'm wondering if anyone here did anything for Pride Month, whether it was a celebration, protest, reflection, creation, or something else entirely. If you didn't do anything, feel free to share why not as well. I think a lot of us are likely in similar boats.

The following questions are aimed at gender identity, gender expression, romantic orientation, and/or sexual orientation. To cut down on wordiness, all the questions below will just say "identity", but know that I'm asking about any and all of the different parts that make up our gendered, romantic, and sexual selves.

You don't necessarily need to answer regarding all axes or focuses: choose the ones most salient or meaningful to you and your experiences. Furthermore, these questions are open to all, including people who don't identify as LGBT.

• How would you describe the rigidity/fluidity of your identity or its different parts?
• Do you experience short-term changes in your identity?
• Have you experienced long-term changes in your identity?
• Does your identity have any elements that are unchanging long-term?
• How does the fluidity/rigidity of your identity affect you? Are there advantages? Disadvantages?
• Are you certain in your identity right now, or is it unclear to you at the moment?
• If you are certain, do you think that certainty will persist, or might things change in the future?
• If you are uncertain, do you think a more definite identity will coalesce for you at some point?

As always, the questions are just jumping off points and don't need to be treated like a quiz. Also, just to be clear, I am asking this purely out of curiosity and am in no way trying to assert that a more rigid/fluid identity is better/worse. Likewise, I'm not trying to cast judgment on anyone still questioning or engaging in self-discovery. Your process and your identity are valid wherever you're at and however you feel. I'm simply interested to hear what your experiences are, whoever you are.

I'm curious how many of us there are on here. This was asked awhile ago but I'm curious how things might have changed since then. Some ideas for discussion:

• When did you realize you weren't cis/straight/etc?
• Are you out or still in the closet?
• How's the social situation where you live? (Are you accepted?)
• In a relationship? If so, how did you meet?
• Anything on your mind? (Doesn't have to be related to your identity/orientation.)

The question follows the lead of our community name: LGBT in the title refers to the LGBT umbrella and isn't limited to the identities represented by the initials.

The character can be from any media source: shows, movies, anime, books, comics, videogames, even song lyrics, or anything else I've missed. The only criteria is that they have to be fictional.

• Who is the character and how are they portrayed?
• What do you like about them?
• Do they resonate with your own experience or those of people you know in any way?

• Who are the LGBTQ individuals you look up to or admire?
• In what ways do you find them inspiring or admirable?
• Has their example and influence helped you in your own life? If so, how?

Don't feel like you have to talk about someone famous: plenty of LGBTQ heroes are the people we know personally, and I would love to hear those kinds of stories. Also, feel free to include people who don't identify as LGBTQ but who still fit the criteria of a role model/hero for the community (e.g. Judy Shepard, Jonathan Larson, a supportive straight sibling, etc.).

Some questions to consider:

• How do you feel about it as a whole?
• What is your experience with it like? Do you go out, celebrate, march, get involved? Does it connect you to others or affirm your identity?
• What positives does it bring to the table?
• What critiques do you have of it?

This last one can be treated as hypothetical but might apply to some real experiences as well--either are valid:

• If you chose to march in a parade to bring awareness to an issue, what cause would you represent? How would you show it, or what would your sign say? Who would you want there alongside you?

Hello y'all!

I wanted to make a post where all us trans peeps can introduce themselves and say hey to each other, since I find it nice to have other trans peeps to chat with. Come say hey, or drop me a line!

For my own intro: I normally go by Nihilistic Janitor online, and before you ask I really don't know jack about philosophy I just thought the phrase "cleanliness is next to meaninglessness" is funny. I'm a nineteen year old pan trans woman, currently wheelchair-bound, who enjoys reading and writing and who recently finished a draft of a fun cheesy gay romance novel. I'm also in with some other trans-heavy communities, so if you're curious and want to check those out, message me!

Not sure if this has been asked before, I vaguely remember seeing it but I'm not sure!

Personally, I'm still in the process of coming out - I've only come out to 1 person (a nurse), and I utterly dread the day that I need to tell friends and family.

They don't have to be anthems in the strict sense of the word. Any type or genre is fair game.

I'm interested in hearing about any songs that helped you connect with or express your identity. It can be something overtly intended to represent LGBT individuals or narratives, or it can simply be something with an abstract theme that resonates with your experiences.

Hey Waves!

I've been wondering how other people discovered they were bi, or gay, or pan, or ace, or straight, or anything else. You can tell stories of your first crush, how things just 'felt right', anything.

The world needs more positivity. Do you have any positive stories from when you came out? Or maybe any positive experiences from being openly queer in general?

^{If you're still in the closet for whatever reason, that's perfectly alright!}

I was wondering if there were any fellow Waves that enjoyed dressing in a way that might confuse others on your gender, and if anybody had tips for others on how to blend masculine and feminine styles/presentation.

Definitions and sources on Genderfuck:

Genderfuck
Some nonbinary people may choose or need to present a 'clashing' combination of gender cues that are incongruous, challenging or shocking to those who expect others to fit the gender binary. For example, combining a beard with makeup and a padded bra. This practice of transgressively breaking the rules of gender presentation is known as genderfuck, genderfucking or sometimes genderpunk.
https://nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/Nonbinary#Genderfuck

Gender bender (also known as genderf*ck) is an informal term used to refer to a person who actively transgresses, or "bends," expected gender roles and presentation. This is usually achieved by combining masculine and feminine attributes in unexpected ways.
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Bender