Pride Month at Tildes: #6 - What media representation resonated with you personally?
What media representation resonated with you personally?
In teaching, we talk about kids’ need to access diverse literature in the framing of “mirrors” and “windows”. A mirror is a character that the child can see themselves in; a window is a character that is different and requires perspective-taking.
A gay child seeing a gay character in a story might see that character as a mirror of themselves, while straight readers might see the character as a window instead, offering some perspective into what it’s like to be gay.
No mirror or window is a perfect match, of course, and people can still identify with characters who don’t exactly align with their identities (which is what makes fiction such a powerful tool for empathy!).
Share some of the characters and people that have resonated with you (whether as windows or mirrors) across any media types (books, movies, television, music, comics, anime, podcasts, etc.).
They can be people who helped you understand yourself better, or people who gave you insight into others' experiences (or both!).
Addenda:
-
They do not need to be fictional characters. Real-world people can be windows and mirrors too!
-
You don’t have to specify whether someone’s a "window" or a "mirror" for you unless you want to. It’s a simple shorthand way of helping kids understand the concept, but it can feel a little limiting and boxy for adults to use it, since people and characters are complex individuals.
Event Guidelines
Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.
I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.
Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.
Schedule
I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:
June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: What media representation resonated with you personally?
June 19th: (teaser: a check-in on those close, or maybe not so close, to us)
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:
If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.
I've mentioned this before, but the webcomic Rain was my main window into the transgender experience. It starts with Rain publicly presenting as female for the first time at her new school, so we see her journey from the start.
I'm a cis girl and had little exposure to the LGBTQ+ sphere at the time I first read it (though funnily enough multiple friends have come out as trans since then), so it was eye-opening for me. It's nice to see her develop in "real time" and see the daily struggles and triumphs. The story can be cliche at times, but it's got real heart to it.
It's finished now, and will always have a spot in my heart. The creator is now doing a mini-series about Dragon HRT on the comic's site though, and I'm happy to see more of Rain and her friends!
It took me a long time before I came out, because I was fully oblivious to queerness being an option for me, but, I can think of three things:
Kushiel's Dart - Phedre no Delauney is a sacred courtesan in an alternate fantasy history version of our world, where the D'Angeline (Vaguely French) follow the tenants of Blessed Elua - "Love as thou wilt." In her life as courtesan and spy, her enemy to lover to enemy and lover is a woman, where her life partner is a man and specifically, Phedre is marked by one of their gods to feel pleasure with pain, whether she wants to or not. It was one of my early exposures to relationship values that weren't monogamy and heterosexuality and vanilla sex all in one.
Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar series - Warrior women, queer characters and relationships, non-monogamy again, and our main characters often pulled out of harmful childhood situations by being told they're special and loved and will never be alone. And so I think these books taught me, before I realized it applied to me, that all of these things were able to be as "normal" as what I knew.
Xena and Gabrielle - I had a huge crush on Lucy Lawless in hindsight but also in wanting to be her.
Halt and Catch Fire, Lee Pace's character.
There are very few shows, movies, or even books that show bisexuality (and male bisexuality at that!) and the changes like that show. There are glimpses of the bisexuality in some cases through the first season, the third season when they focus much more on it, but its obviously not a necessity to showcase any of the romance of the character as the show isn't about that, its about technology changing through the decades. It's just so perfectly great, and one of the many reasons it's by far the greatest show I've ever watched.
She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat (manga) has so many relatable moments as, and let me take out my checklist for a sec...
The premise sounds a little contrived where a budding friendship / romance between two women initially begins with one woman loving to cook large meals (while unable to consume large portions), meeting a woman who can eat... a lot. But it was surprisingly really relatable for both myself and my gf, when we both find it difficult to really relate to a lot of (specifically lesbian) stories.
A short film, The Real Thing, definitely resonated with me. It's probably the most important little piece of film I've seen in my entire life. Watching it and seeing what could be, what is possible, what life might offer.. that is what made me finally come to terms with my gender identity and later fully coming out.
Euphoria was also really important, and Hunter Schafer's special episode even more so. Another really important piece of representation that just gets it right. Most of the other things I've seen have often really misunderstood what the trans experience is - probably because it's not been written by nor for trans people.
About a week ago I binged through the current season of The Big Door Prize. There is an episode where one of the less important characters gets focused on, and it features a budding romance with him and another man. It culminates to a date that never happens. It's a character study. But it didn't at all need to be gay; the story would have worked regardless of if the love interest was a man or a woman. But I don't think that it would have been as emotionally resonant to me personally if it were a woman. After I caught up with that show, I started watching Acapulco, and it has a lesbian character who has been through some stuff that I found very emotionally resonant.
I don't know anything about the show Schitt's Creek, but the one episode I saw had a character confused because she thought someone was gay. They used wine as an analogy for sexuality and gender. The guy ends up saying,
"I like the wine and not the label, does that make sense?"
Honestly that's the best way I've ever heard my own POV described.
The scene - please forgive it being a short / vertical.
Schmitt's Creek is a wonderful show, and the friendship between David and Stevie is beautiful. The romance story between David and Patrick is one of the most heartwarming ever in a sitcom. I recommend this show to anyone and everyone, with the caveat that the entire point of the site is the genesis from "these are the worst people ever" in season one, to "I love them and wish only for their happiness" by the end. The beginning is a bit rough, but it's worth it.
Xenogenesis Series written by Octavia Butler between '87 and '89.
My favourite books. They widen the view on gender via an alien species with three genders. The aliens are well thought out with their own goals and views and not superficially humanised. Each book offers a different view: human views on and relationships with three-gendered aliens, binary gender, third gender.
Window: Nimona (Netflix)
Great kid friendly animated movie about a gender(?)-queer person.
Nimona is also a graphic novel too!
I love that series. Butler in general is great and those books were so layered with different areas that expanded my worldviews
Frog and Toad are Friends
They are simple stories, yet delightful, and were some of my favorites as a kid. Mostly I like them because they are lessons in caring for one another.