I thought this might be a nice thread for folks to share some happy LGBTQ things, more personal things than news but if it impacts you personally, go for it. I was just sitting on the porch wearing my Totally Gay shirt thinking we needed a happy thread.

Share moments of Pride, queer joy, winning against those who would discriminate, whatever strikes you.

Ask almost anything

Last week had a focus on understanding. This week has the same focus but with a different angle.

Use this topic to ask almost any question you want to ask, including those you’re worried might come across poorly if brought up elsewhere.

If you feel equipped to answer a question, answer it!

Importantly: this is a safe space in which you can ask questions free from judgment. The vibe we're going for is a classroom, not a battleground.

Discussions like this can often cause intense emotions, but I want us to be especially vigilant in keeping this topic conflict- and aggression-free (see: Thermostat Rule below). If a fight breaks out in a classroom, learning stops, so conflict is counterproductive to our goals here. Disagreements are fine; disses are not. In all of these threads I have said that we should "be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots." Let's put that into practice here.

If you feel that a user is deliberately breaking any of the norms for this topic, do not engage them. It is more productive to simply mark their comment as noise and not respond. In the extremely rare case that you believe someone is actively intending to do harm, please mark their comment as malice.

Ground Rules

• Curiosity Rule: The reason that this is "ask almost anything" instead of "ask literally anything" is that your question has to come from a place of genuine curiosity -- you must honestly want to learn more. This is not a place to ask rhetorical questions to make a point or provocative questions to stir the pot.

• Good Faith Rule: assume all users here are acting in good faith and read their words in the best possible light. This goes for both those asking the questions and those answering as well.

• Thermostat Rule: the thermostat is set for this topic, meaning the heat should not rise. If you find that you might say something that would raise the temperature in the topic, please reword it, step away to cool down for a bit, or ignore the topic entirely.

Guidelines

• Experience Guideline: if a question is directed at people with specific identities/experiences, the bulk of their answers should come with people aligned with those identities/experiences. For example, a question directed at trans people should be primarily (but not necessarily exclusively) answered by trans people. The reason this is a guideline and not a rule is that there are many ways a rule would cut out valuable discourse -- e.g. people who are still questioning their identities; a cis person who wants to talk about the experiences of their trans partner, etc.

• Multiple Answers Guideline: even if a question has already been answered by someone else, it is okay to give another answer if you have more to add or a different perspective to share.

• Volunteer Guideline: if you are open to answering questions about specific topics, instead of making a top-level comment with a question, make a top level comment stating what you're willing to share about (e.g. "I'm happy to answer questions about ace spectrum terminology"). People can then respond to you directly with their questions.

Full Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics (especially this one!).

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: (teaser: windows and mirrors)
June 19th:
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

What did you do for Pride Month?

This is the final topic of our Pride Month series!

Share anything you did this month that fits with the theme of Pride.

Anything goes! Big things, small things, public things, personal things. If it was queer or queer-supportive, then it counts! Even if it was just commenting in some of these topics, feel free to talk about that.

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Full List of Topics

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: What media representation resonated with you personally?
June 19th: How are things with your family?
June 22nd: What are you worried about?
June 25th: What are you hopeful about?
June 28th: What did you do for Pride Month?

What are you hopeful about?

The flipside to last week:

Looking forward, what are you hopeful about? What good do you see on the horizon?

You can share hopes that are social, political, personal, or something else entirely.

Addenda:

• These don’t have to be big picture things — they can be tiny or insubstantial hopes as well.

• Sharing hope can be hard because it can feel like you’re being dismissive of struggle, but remember that struggle is often possible to endure only because of hope. Posting hope is a way of helping others, not disregarding them.

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: What media representation resonated with you personally?
June 19th: How are things with your family?
June 22nd: What are you worried about?
June 25th: What are you hopeful about?
June 28th: (teaser: ending on a good note)

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

What are you worried about?

We started Pride month looking back, then we learned a bit more about others, then we reflected more on ourselves. I want to finish the month off by looking forward. The next two topics will ask about the future. This one asks about worries; the next one asks about hope.

Looking forward, what are you worried about? What concerns you most?

You can share worries that are social, political, personal, or something else entirely.

Addenda:

• Similar to last week: this is a safe space to talk about difficulties if you need to.

• Remember that unsolicited advice can come across as dismissive. It’s better to affirm and commiserate than trying to solve the problem (unless they specifically ask for help).

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: What media representation resonated with you personally?
June 19th: How are things with your family?
June 22nd: What are you worried about?
June 25th: (teaser: looking ahead, with optimism)
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

How are things with your family?

Share your current situation with your family, biological or chosen.

I debated whether or not to put this in the Pride Month topic rotation, because I know it can be a difficult topic for some and isn’t necessarily something with a celebratory/advocacy spirit.

I ended up deciding to include it though because I think space to process is also important. Hopefully people find value in it.

Addenda:

• This is a safe space to talk about difficulties if you need to.

• Sharing successes/positives is absolutely valuable too and can give hope to others.

• If someone shares hardship or sorrow, remember that unsolicited advice can come across as dismissive. It’s better to affirm and commiserate rather than trying to solve the problem (unless they specifically ask for help).

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: What media representation resonated with you personally?
June 19th: How are things with your family?
June 22nd: (teaser: looking ahead, with concern)
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

What media representation resonated with you personally?

In teaching, we talk about kids’ need to access diverse literature in the framing of “mirrors” and “windows”. A mirror is a character that the child can see themselves in; a window is a character that is different and requires perspective-taking.

A gay child seeing a gay character in a story might see that character as a mirror of themselves, while straight readers might see the character as a window instead, offering some perspective into what it’s like to be gay.

No mirror or window is a perfect match, of course, and people can still identify with characters who don’t exactly align with their identities (which is what makes fiction such a powerful tool for empathy!).

Share some of the characters and people that have resonated with you (whether as windows or mirrors) across any media types (books, movies, television, music, comics, anime, podcasts, etc.).

They can be people who helped you understand yourself better, or people who gave you insight into others' experiences (or both!).

Addenda:

• They do not need to be fictional characters. Real-world people can be windows and mirrors too!

• You don’t have to specify whether someone’s a "window" or a "mirror" for you unless you want to. It’s a simple shorthand way of helping kids understand the concept, but it can feel a little limiting and boxy for adults to use it, since people and characters are complex individuals.

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: What media representation resonated with you personally?
June 19th: (teaser: a check-in on those close, or maybe not so close, to us)
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

What's something you wish more people understood?

What are the common (or not so common) misconceptions you have to live underneath?

What are the parts of your experience that don't seem to be widely portrayed/known?

What do you wish more people understood because genuinely understanding that could genuinely help them too?

Addenda:

• This does not have to be strictly factual. It can be based in experiences and beliefs.

• It can be based in yourself, in a larger identity that you share with others, or something else entirely.

• Try to avoid any responses that include a spite for other people's ignorance. Center them instead in the earnest desire to be both truthful and known. (Write your response for today's lucky 10,000 rather than today's bigots.)

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: (teaser: a chance to understand more)
June 16th:
June 19th:
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?

Last week we looked at people in the past, but this week I want us to turn the focus more towards ourselves and the experiences we've had.

I want you to think back across the span of your particular life and identify the positive changes that you've personally witnessed regarding LGBT people and causes.

Addenda:

• These positive things can be at any level: yourself, your friend(s), your family, your community, your country, society, the world at large, etc.

• These positive changes do not have to be "big" or political (though they certainly can be). It is perfectly fine to share your own small, personal stories. If they're positive, then they count!

• These can come from any domain: personal life, law, entertainment, science, careers, etc.

• I'm certainly aware that there are still many negative things that hurt us and our community out there. I don't want this topic to be something that paints a false, saccharine picture of our world, but I think it's important to take broad and open stock of situations and remind ourselves of any positives. Not only is Pride partly about hope, but focusing on positives can be a powerful tool against despair.

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: (teaser: maybe a chance to be better understood?)
June 13th:
June 16th:
June 19th:
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?

We, in 2024, come from a long lineage of people who have fought for and advocated for queer causes and identities. We have those who came before us to thank for many of our rights, the terminology that we apply to ourselves, and even our very own self-concepts. The dignity that many of us are able to live with today is only possible because of people who asserted, against often significant pushback, that our dignity should be non-negotiable.

I think it would be great if we could all share some of their stories here. It's a way of keeping their memories alive, honoring their contributions, and saying thank you for the path that they laid and upon which we now walk.

Please share the story of at least one historical figure that was an LGBT advocate that you admire. Please do not just link to a Wikipedia page or an article about them -- take the time to tell us their story in your own words.

If you do not have one in mind immediately, that's fine! This is also a great opportunity to do some research. Wikipedia has a good starting point, but feel free to explore on your own.

A few addenda:

• Feel free to connect their story to your own experiences and share why you, personally, find them admirable.

• For the purposes of this post, "historical" does not mean "ancient." If the person came before you and was a trailblazer for queer causes, then they count!

• The person themselves does not have to actively identify as someone under the LGBT umbrella. Straight allies can be trailblazers too, as can historical figures whose specific identities were ambiguous or don't map on to our modern identities and terminology.

• The individual's advocacy does not have to specifically be political in nature. Many historical figures were queer advocates simply by openly being themselves. That absolutely counts!

Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: (teaser: you might have to look back in time again, but this time a little closer to home)
June 10th:
June 13th:
June 16th:
June 19th:
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

Event Overview

June 1st marks the beginning of Pride Month for many countries around the world, and we're going to have our own little celebration here on Tildes!

I have come up with ten different discussion topics centered on sharing, celebrating, and understanding queer life and experiences. I will post one every four days throughout the month of June.

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics. Also, I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: (teaser: you might have to look back in time a little bit)
June 7th:
June 10th:
June 13th:
June 16th:
June 19th:
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

#1 - Introductions and Playlist

This is the inaugural post -- the beginning of our little month-long discussion topic Pride Parade!

There are two tasks for this post:

1. Introduce yourself to everyone and share any information about yourself that you feel comfortable sharing. Who are you? How do you identify? What’s important for people to know about you? Are you excited about anything? Are you doing anything for Pride Month IRL?

2. A good Pride Month needs a good Pride Playlist! Link to some of your favorite queer-themed songs or tracks from LGBT artists so that we can crowdsource an awesome collection of music to listen to throughout the month.

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

With a lot of parades and parties behind us, I think now is as good a time as ever to discuss 2023 Pride. What did you do? Was it different than last year, and if so, was it more or less fun?

Having experienced pride both in Israel and in Europe, I can say that this year in Tel Aviv was a very strange vibe for me. There were a lot of talks about potential terror attacks, to the point where the side streets were absolutely full of police and military. I remember walking back home from work and being unsure if I should even go.

Contrast it with Berlin, where there was such a carefree attitude and such a strong sense of unity. I experienced it as a tourist mind you, but I still wish we could have a less stressful atmosphere next year back home.

There is something to be said about the monetization of pride, but to me, just the fact that we have something to unite around is enough. When I look around and see thousands of queer people smiling, I couldn't care less about capitalism, and I only hope that next year it'll be even bigger.

Note: I've had these thoughts for a while, but I didn't think to post until I read @guttersnipe's semi-unrelated comment in another thread.

I'm queer, but I'm also a quiet introvert. I don't really drink much, and as of lately, loud events exceed my capacity for sensory input. I just... don't really have it in me to party?

Yet, everywhere I seem to look, 'queer culture' seems to be heavily equated with partying. My partner's gay best friend goes downtown and parties til the break of dawn for Pride. Pitchfork runs features like "Fear Will Not Stop Queer Nightlife". To celebrate seems to mean to be loud and out and proud, to be bright and neon, to be camp and flamboyant, to let loose. Late nights, clubs, DJs, raves... it's all just... too much for me? In fact, I sort of feel a disconnect with western queer culture as a whole? It just feels so... extroverted...

I don't want to just do nothing, though, like I've done year after year. I feel left out, like I'm missing out on some sort of collective experience.

So, what are some alternative ways to celebrate? Do you celebrate Pride in ways that deviate from the norm?

Have you done pride events with or at your company? Mine is going to be in the parade and I can walk with them. CFO is gay and they have been very helpful with my transition so I don't feel like they are faking it.

For others, how has your workplace acted or have they done anything related?

My fiancée and I are going to Provincetown, MA to celebrate both Pride and her birthday.

Her mothers used to take her to Ptown every summer as a kid, so as an ally I’m looking forward to soaking up the positive vibes and getting to know this place that’s so special to her. I’ve been learning more about the town and what it’s meant to the LGBTQ+ community over the last few decades.

It shouldn’t have had to be a hideaway but it’s so cool that such a place exists and that it feels so separate from the rest of the country via that long drive out on the Cape.

The world is certainly a scary place right now but this month is full of so much love. Are any of y’all going to any parades or events to celebrate?

Pride month has already started, so - as per the title - what are you doing for Pride this week?

Are there any cool events where you live? Is the encroaching summer making it hard to choose between hugging the AC and ironing your flags? Are you still in the closet, and would you like to vent about it?

Normally June is a time for celebration and demonstration for LGBT people in the USA (thanks for the correction, @Algernon_Asimov!), but on account of COVID and our need to protest widespread racial injustice, this past month felt like an unusually somber and isolated Pride Month.

I'm wondering if anyone here did anything for Pride Month, whether it was a celebration, protest, reflection, creation, or something else entirely. If you didn't do anything, feel free to share why not as well. I think a lot of us are likely in similar boats.

Some questions to consider:

• How do you feel about it as a whole?
• What is your experience with it like? Do you go out, celebrate, march, get involved? Does it connect you to others or affirm your identity?
• What positives does it bring to the table?
• What critiques do you have of it?

This last one can be treated as hypothetical but might apply to some real experiences as well--either are valid:

• If you chose to march in a parade to bring awareness to an issue, what cause would you represent? How would you show it, or what would your sign say? Who would you want there alongside you?