mftrhu's recent activity

  1. Comment on What did you do this week? in ~talk

    mftrhu
    Link
    I spent a long time at work, first because of a meeting and then because there was a parent-teacher conference on Thursday. I wasn't expecting anyone - I don't actually assign marks, and as I have...

    I spent a long time at work, first because of a meeting and then because there was a parent-teacher conference on Thursday. I wasn't expecting anyone - I don't actually assign marks, and as I have 11 classes I barely know any of my students - but in those four hours two parents nevertheless swung by.

    I helped the theory teachers set up and try out the experiments that we want to go over in the next two-three weeks, I tried assisting two of my colleagues as they forced their way back into their own drawers - I succeeded with one, but the other had to call the janitor to pry it open - and I bought a few seeds packets (garden cress, rucola, chives, lettuce and cherry tomatoes) that I planted at the start of the week. They are just starting to sprout.

    I ate like shit - I finished the last of my curry on Monday, and I didn't feel like cooking since - re-read old books and stared longingly at oscilloscopes on Amazon for way too long, but...

    I finally managed to steel myself up and talk with a lawyer about starting the name & gender marker change process. That, incidentally, didn't help my energy levels in the slightest: I'll need to rouse up my endo, if he'll deign to answer my mails, probably meet him - he's a thousand kilometers away - possibly change my residence, and then get my diagnosis confirmed yet again. I don't even have a GP right now, and doing all of this - while juggling work, while being in an unfamiliar city, while not having a shred of support - feels like an insurmountable task. I need this, but... I really wish the rest of the world would disappear for a year or two so I could get shit done.

    4 votes
  2. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    mftrhu
    Link Parent
    No. For one thing, this subthread is about surgically-created penises or vaginas, without the rest of the reproductive system. While womb transplants might theoretically be possible, they are just...

    No.

    For one thing, this subthread is about surgically-created penises or vaginas, without the rest of the reproductive system. While womb transplants might theoretically be possible, they are just entering the experimental stage, and, like all the other procedures, it'll take a while before trans-feminine people will be able to access them (they also are transplants, with all the disadvantages of the case). On top of that, as Gaywallet already said, there is currently no way to create either testicles or ovaries.

    Even when talking about intersex people, auto-fertility - the capacity to (hypothetically) inseminate oneself, which requires both types of gonadal tissue to function - has never been reported in humans. AFAICR the only mammals in which this has been found to happen are rabbits.

    5 votes
  3. Comment on What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)? in ~talk

    mftrhu
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    I never actually saw a doctor before I turned 21, let alone a therapist or psychiatrist/psychologist. Oh, sure, I had a pediatrician when I was a child, I got my shots and all that, but I'm a...

    I never actually saw a doctor before I turned 21, let alone a therapist or psychiatrist/psychologist. Oh, sure, I had a pediatrician when I was a child, I got my shots and all that, but I'm a generally healthy person who isn't prone to risk-taking behaviour. I never needed to see a doctor, so I didn't.

    When I turned 21, I learned what the word "transgender" meant. It stopped pointing at some vague idea of a sex worker with a deep voice - thanks, oh country of mine, for the representation! - and it linked up with the word "transition". But transition required the consent of doctors - therapists, psychiatrists, endocrinologists - and that's when I started seeing them.

    Some of the people I talk with online have told me that I might be on the autism spectrum. That might be - I'm very introverted, I don't understand most people, I have little patience for them - but if so, it doesn't actually impair me.

    I never received an ASD diagnosis* and, before I started actually interacting with the health system, I couldn't have received a diagnosis. Assuming I'm on the spectrum, I would have never been referred for that. But when you start seeing a therapist/psych(.+)st as extensively as most trans people still have to do - and when a lot of them still try to pin anything on you that could "explain away" your dysphoria, out of ignorance or malice or desire to appease your relatives - then it should not be surprising that (diagnoses of) ASD co-occur more often with GD, before even considering any other factors that might make it more or less likely to occur in the trans population.

    TL;DR: trans people are, relative to the general population, more likely to see a mental health professional and for a longer amount of time - if only to access trans-related health care - which increases the chances of both diagnosis and mis-diagnosis of even mild ASDs.


    * But I have treated my psychiatrists as hostile from the get-go - and for good reasons, as they actually had the gall to make me take the COGIATI - and so I have kept my interactions with them at the minimum necessary to obtain a GD diagnosis.
    † Even if informed consent might exist and be relatively widespread in the US, most of Europe - where I live - is pretty heavy-handed with gatekeeping: it starts at a minimum of six months of therapy (e.g. ONIG in Italy) and, AFAICT, it only goes up.
    ‡ The COGIATI (COmbined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory) is, to put it plainly, a load of sexist bullshit, at best good for a laugh. It purports to "diagnose" dysphoria in trans-feminine individuals with questions such as "how good are you at math?", "how well can you park?" and "did you prefer dolls or trucks as a child?"

    4 votes
  4. Comment on Stack Exchange, the parent company of Stack Overflow, has been taking aggressive stances against the Stack Exchange community in ~comp

    mftrhu
    Link Parent
    In what universe, out of all the possible ones, are those subreddits even comparable with those they oppose? Especially AgainstHateSubreddits, which routinely features subs full of actual...

    More recent examples include AgainstHateSubreddits, EnoughTrumpSpam and IncelTears, which seem to be similarly as problematic as the communities they oppose.

    In what universe, out of all the possible ones, are those subreddits even comparable with those they oppose? Especially AgainstHateSubreddits, which routinely features subs full of actual fascists? It couldn't be "similarly as problematic" even if it went full-on "guillotines for the reactionaries".

    6 votes
  5. Comment on What's your daily routine like? in ~talk

    mftrhu
    Link
    On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I wake up at 6:05, hit snooze until around 6:10, then I get up and use my inhaler. I fill up the moka before going to bed, so I first go into the kitchen to turn...

    On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I wake up at 6:05, hit snooze until around 6:10, then I get up and use my inhaler. I fill up the moka before going to bed, so I first go into the kitchen to turn the stove on, plug my phone to top it up, and then I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and do other bathroomy stuff.

    I'm usually done by 6:30, and then I sit down to have breakfast and dress up, not necessarily in that order. Then, I start untangling and taming my hair, I put on coat and backpack, get some hand cream, get out, lock the door, and walk to the bus stop.

    If I'm a few minutes late, it'll drop me some 800 m from my school. Otherwise, I get on another bus at the terminus, but either way I'm there by 7:50. I sign for the lab keys, go to the teacher's lounge, ask my colleagues if they have any plans for the day, and then I either get in class with them or go to the lab, to dig around the equipment and prepare it for the next lesson.

    I finish working at 13:05 (minus reunions, training courses and whatnot). I put the equipment back in its proper place, lock everything up, sign as I leave the keys, and walk back to the bus stop. Once I'm home, I either cook something - it never takes much longer than half an hour - or reheat some leftovers.

    I then wash the dishes, but what I do with the rest of my afternoon varies. I might go out to do some shopping, or just clean up and lounge around. I eat dinner around 19:30-20:00, read for a while, get my pills, get some chamomile tea if I'm still feeling too alert, get the moka ready, brush my teeth, and get in bed around 22:00.

    On Monday and Tuesday my schedule is similar, but I get up much later, as I don't have lessons until around 12, and on the weekend I just faff around.

    3 votes
  6. Comment on How do you record your journal, personal log, or diary and why do you record it that way? in ~talk

    mftrhu
    Link
    I have an hybrid system. I jot down short notes and TODOs in an org-mode file which I keep synced between my laptop and my phone, and which I access with Orgzly, while the long-form log is stored...

    I have an hybrid system. I jot down short notes and TODOs in an org-mode file which I keep synced between my laptop and my phone, and which I access with Orgzly, while the long-form log is stored in a bunch of Markdown files, which I mostly edit via Emacs.

    I have bound C-z j to my/create-or-open-journal, which takes care of creating the appropriate folder structure (just YYYY/MM), and of timestamping and switching to the journal file (YYYY/MM/YYYY-MM-DD.journal). It's very thorough, seeing as how I wrote almost 500k words since May 2016, and I add to it throughout the day: I write about how I feel, what I dreamed, things I did or saw, what I read, what I ate, about the people I met and what we talked about.

    Sometimes, what I write is substantial enough that I feel like shunting it to its own file and expanding on it, but, by and at large, my journal is for me and me alone, serving as a secondary memory and as a way to ground myself.

    2 votes
  7. Comment on What do you dream about in your sleep? How vividly do you dream it/them? Can you control it/them? in ~talk

    mftrhu
    Link
    I also believe I have aphantasia, as I have never experienced seeing something with my mind's eye. I struggle with sounds, too: I don't have an inner monologue as much as a journal, and I have...

    I also believe I have aphantasia, as I have never experienced seeing something with my mind's eye. I struggle with sounds, too: I don't have an inner monologue as much as a journal, and I have never considered memories more than the description of a description.

    It's like that in my dreams, too. Sometimes, people I know will be involved, but they are always faceless - I just somehow know who they are.

    The dreams themselves are always weird, and often very dark. I don't have nightmares, per se, but I relive bad memories from time to time. I tend to wake up in tears when that happens.

    The rest of the time? Once, I fled over a frozen ocean as iron-hard pasta rained behind me, trying to call an orbital strike on my position to clear it out. Another time I was making a zombie memorize the works of Shakespeare, to use the undead as mass storage, and then I was watching my relatives flee from giant wasps armed with particle cannons. I often end up exploring dark buildings - empty hospitals, apartment blocks - but I graduated to a zombie-filled library recently. For some reason, it was also littered with hospital beds, containing rotten bodies swaddled in cloth.

    2 votes
  8. Comment on What are you doing this weekend? in ~talk

    mftrhu
    Link
    Traveling back to Milano, this time via truck. It's going to be a long, unpleasant Sunday.

    Traveling back to Milano, this time via truck. It's going to be a long, unpleasant Sunday.

    1 vote
  9. Comment on Man with 5.5-inch horn growing on his back slipped "through the net" docs say in ~science

    mftrhu
    Link
    At least this one didn't inject semen in his back. I'm wondering now, though: is January special, as far as weird medical cases are concerned, or is this just coincidence/selection bias?

    At least this one didn't inject semen in his back.

    I'm wondering now, though: is January special, as far as weird medical cases are concerned, or is this just coincidence/selection bias?

    7 votes
  10. Comment on What's your screenshotting tool of choice, and why? in ~comp

    mftrhu
    Link
    99% of the time, the window I'm working on fills my screen: I just use scrot via dmenu, seldom bothering with flags to do anything fancy.

    99% of the time, the window I'm working on fills my screen: I just use scrot via dmenu, seldom bothering with flags to do anything fancy.

    4 votes
  11. Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health

    mftrhu
    Link Parent
    Thanks! That looks simple enough to implement without messing up, and I can definitely find ten minutes of time for it. Probably, but I wouldn't know what to do about them - I'm not used to...

    This helped me in some tough times: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5RmFuhMW3E .

    Thanks! That looks simple enough to implement without messing up, and I can definitely find ten minutes of time for it.

    If you're knees hurt from squatting I would check that out, that should not happen.

    Probably, but I wouldn't know what to do about them - I'm not used to navigating the national health services - and they have always hurt, as far as I can remember. They don't hurt when doing chair squats, though, and that's what I was doing - I'm not one to continue doing what my body is telling me to stop.

    For posture, [...]

    I'll definitely check them out. My biggest problem is that I'm trying to not out myself at work - not yet, anyway - and that I don't want to start binding, so I spend a lot of time slouching. I'm not sure if a few minutes of exercises a day would even change anything in this situation.

    1 vote
  12. Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health

    mftrhu
    Link
    I have not been doing much lately, but I'd like to. Even if there should be gyms nearby, I know I won't bother with them - for multiple reasons - so I'd like an exercise program that I can do at...

    I have not been doing much lately, but I'd like to. Even if there should be gyms nearby, I know I won't bother with them - for multiple reasons - so I'd like an exercise program that I can do at home.

    I was looking at /r/bodyweight, but it looks like half of those exercises either require additional equipment - which is not that big of a deal, there's a Decathlon nearby - or involve squats and jumps. My knees really dislike squats, and I don't think that my neighbors would appreciate my jumping up and down: I'm hefty, and the floors are quite thin.

    Before my trip, I was trying out the seven-minutes workout, but even then - squats. Jumping jacks. Lack of an exercise mat. Lack of chairs I'd trust to not disassemble on me. Basically, just a short session involving wall sits, push-ups, crunches, chair squats, and lunges, if possibly with poor form.

    I'm not really aiming at anything beyond "getting fit", which will hopefully let me to not be short on breath after less than a km of brisk walk, and my knees/back not hurting as much (which are probably also due to my poor posture, which I'm not sure I can correct at this point in time). Any suggestions are welcome.

    4 votes
  13. Comment on What do you want for Christmas? in ~talk

    mftrhu
    Link
    A legal name change, new documents, and an accepting family. A new laptop, an e-reader, a sturdy, comfy pair of leather boots. More clothes with more pockets, because pockets are cool. I'll have...

    A legal name change, new documents, and an accepting family. A new laptop, an e-reader, a sturdy, comfy pair of leather boots. More clothes with more pockets, because pockets are cool.

    I'll have to settle for my first paycheck. I'm not sure how much acceptance costs, but I think I should be able to afford the rest now.

    3 votes
  14. Comment on Preparation for the 2019ish Tildes Census 2: Electric Boogaloo in ~tildes

    mftrhu
    Link Parent
    "The point"? I'm not sure. What's the point of this census? Do you want to label people, or do you want to get to know the Tildes community? If the former - if you want a list of labels that will...

    What's the point of a label if people who fall under it, can just reject it?

    "The point"? I'm not sure. What's the point of this census? Do you want to label people, or do you want to get to know the Tildes community?

    If the former - if you want a list of labels that will apply "perfectly" to each respondent - then there's no point to it. You are relying on self-reporting, for things that often have conflicting definitions or interpretations (e.g., bi vs pan). You have no way to ascertain their truthfulness, or whether they are thinking about the same thing as you.

    If the latter, well. Some people think that rejecting some label is important to them, for whatever reason. Maybe your definition disagrees with theirs, maybe it just doesn't resonate with them, but listening to them tends to be a good idea.

    At the very least, asking people "do you consider yourself trans" will give you information about how many people feel comfortable identifying themselves as trans, whether or not they talk about it on Tildes proper - maybe because they barely came out to themselves, or because they started their transition decades ago - and that would be a decent approximation of Tilde's trans population as a whole.

    9 votes
  15. Comment on What are you doing this weekend? in ~talk

    mftrhu
    Link
    I meant to drop by the office of the local health services, to get a new GP - my usual doctor is ~1Mm away - but it doesn't look like they will be open on Saturday. As such, I'm probably just...

    I meant to drop by the office of the local health services, to get a new GP - my usual doctor is ~1Mm away - but it doesn't look like they will be open on Saturday. As such, I'm probably just going to sleep in, do some cleaning, and then lounge around - I'm pretty wiped right now, both physically and because of the sleep debt I accumulated during the week.

    I'll also have to do some shopping, and I'm probably going to revise a bit more on Sunday, but beyond that I have no idea.

    4 votes
  16. Comment on Day 4: Secure Container in ~comp

    mftrhu
    Link
    This one was almost trivial to implement, and I ended up doing it on my phone during a break at work. I'll have to rewrite it in Julia once I'll be back home, though. Part 1 from itertools import...

    This one was almost trivial to implement, and I ended up doing it on my phone during a break at work. I'll have to rewrite it in Julia once I'll be back home, though.

    Part 1
    from itertools import combinations_with_replacement
    import re
    
    def has_double(n):
        return re.search(r"(\d)\1", str(n))
    
    def in_range(n):
        return 357253 <= n <= 892942
    
    candidates = combinations_with_replacement("123456789", 6)
    candidates = map(lambda t: int(''.join(t)), candidates)
    candidates = filter(in_range, candidates)
    candidates = filter(has_double, candidates)
    candidates = list(candidates)
    print(len(candidates))
    
    Part 2
    from itertools import combinations_with_replacement
    import re
    
    def has_double(n):
        n = str(n)
        m = re.findall(r"(\d)\1", n)
        return m and (not
            all(re.search(r"%s{3,}" % d, n) for d in m))
    
    def in_range(n):
        return 357253 <= n <= 892942
    
    candidates = combinations_with_replacement("123456789", 6)
    candidates = map(lambda t: int(''.join(t)), candidates)
    candidates = filter(in_range, candidates)
    candidates = filter(has_double, candidates)
    candidates = list(candidates)
    print(len(candidates))
    
    3 votes
  17. Comment on Why I Voted to Sell .ORG in ~tech

    mftrhu
    Link Parent
    Hell, even if they stick to their "promise"? As plenty of other people have pointed out already, 10% a year is ridiculous, and it would translate to the price of an .org domain doubling every...

    Hell, even if they stick to their "promise"? As plenty of other people have pointed out already, 10% a year is ridiculous, and it would translate to the price of an .org domain doubling every seven years.

    7 votes
  18. Comment on What are you doing this weekend? in ~talk

    mftrhu
    Link
    Two weeks ago, I wrote a comment about how I got a job in Milano. I spent that weekend on the road, and the weekend after that cleaning up and making the house livable. Now I'm on my second week...

    Two weeks ago, I wrote a comment about how I got a job in Milano.

    I spent that weekend on the road, and the weekend after that cleaning up and making the house livable. Now I'm on my second week in, and I got most of the stuff I needed to do out of the way: I renewed my ID card (it expired on me three months ago), I got all the data they need to complete the contract, I got username and password for the school email and electronic register, I started familiarizing myself with the lab, and I think I met all my classes at least once.

    Things are awkward, though. After three years on HRT, I pass, even disheveled and wearing camo & boots, but I have yet to change my legal name - which requires Very Cisnormative things like a lawyer, the opinion of a few doctors, a couple of months back and forth and a judge's order, which I could not afford before - so I can get gendered correctly, until someone asks me for my name for some thing or another.

    At least I should have, in a month or two, enough money to put things in motion to fix this (and the Milano area is bound to be much better than a bloody village in the South), but nevertheless - it grates.

    I'm just going to spend this weekend relaxing. Maybe I will do some revising tomorrow - physics is a topic I last touched in my university days - but I'm mostly going to lounge around, do some cleaning, push the info I logged during the last two weeks to my wiki, and get back to reading.

    4 votes
  19. Comment on What are you doing this weekend? in ~talk

    mftrhu
    Link
    I got a job, as a substitute lab assistant in Milano. I am supposed to start on Monday, and I'll be there 'till June/July. I was told today, so I spent the whole afternoon running to and fro',...

    I got a job, as a substitute lab assistant in Milano. I am supposed to start on Monday, and I'll be there 'till June/July. I was told today, so I spent the whole afternoon running to and fro', buying new clothes, new shoes - my old ones are old, and not fit for government work - and getting a new prescription for my glasses.

    Tomorrow it'll be more of the same - meds, glasses, even more clothes - and the road trip will start on Sunday. I am low key panicking, and I'm not really looking forwards to it.

    5 votes
  20. Comment on Let's talk bags in ~talk

    mftrhu
    Link
    It depends on where I'm going and on how long I'll be out. If it's just going to be a couple of hours, I just bring a small shoulder bag with me. More than a couple of hours, and I'll bring my old...

    What are you using to carry your stuff?

    It depends on where I'm going and on how long I'll be out. If it's just going to be a couple of hours, I just bring a small shoulder bag with me. More than a couple of hours, and I'll bring my old laptop bag.

    If it's fall/winter then you won't catch me outside without a coat, and mine have plenty of pockets.

    What stuff are you carrying?

    In my shoulder bag, I carry a wallet, pens, some paper. A 20 Ah powerbank, and an USB-to-microUSB cable for it. Sunscreen, hand sanitizer, tissues, hair ties. An asthma inhaler, cough lozenges, and other assorted meds (painkiller, antacids, anti-whatever has been ailing me lately).

    The pockets of my coat are usually stuffed with a scarf, gloves, and a beanie, plus bus passes, assorted hard candy, and a 5 euro note or two.

    My laptop bag is just the right size for my netbook, an half liter bottle of water, and an umbrella. I have tissues, pens, USB sticks and cables in the inner pockets, and full-size notebooks in the outer pockets.


    I also have a small survival kit hanging around, containing a lighter, firestarting material, a small knife I made out of a sawblade, band-aids, money, emergency meds and a sewing kit. I have never actually used it for anything, but it's just neat.


    The problem with most bags - besides the fact that they never have enough pockets - is their belt: it's too narrow, it bunches up, and the metal part that joins it to the rest of the bag likes to give up the ghost in the most inopportune situations.

    1 vote