34 votes

Bruce Lee feared the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times. What would be your one kick?

Mine is this:

Run up, swing your left leg behind you while popping up with your right angle into a corkscrewing front flip. Pull your right leg and kick into the opponents temple at a 45 degree angle before landing on your left leg and spinning a full 360 before standing up facing the opposite direction, and walk away.

I'm probably never using that in a fight but it'd be a cool party trick.

36 comments

  1. [5]
    Akir
    Link
    I have many things that could be that "one kick"! Procrastination, overeating, being distracted from important things.... The list just goes on and on.

    I have many things that could be that "one kick"! Procrastination, overeating, being distracted from important things.... The list just goes on and on.

    33 votes
    1. [3]
      kfwyre
      Link Parent
      My "one kick"? Starting to type out a response to someone, but then deleting it and saying nothing. I had to make a conscious effort to not do it here, by the way.

      My "one kick"? Starting to type out a response to someone, but then deleting it and saying nothing.

      I had to make a conscious effort to not do it here, by the way.

      37 votes
      1. [2]
        pete_the_paper_boat
        Link Parent
        Honestly that saved me from writing some very stupid responses plenty of times lol

        Honestly that saved me from writing some very stupid responses plenty of times lol

        3 votes
        1. rickartz
          Link Parent
          We just lost some of the most funny responses here because you thought they were stupid. My brother always rolls his eyes when I say something I think funny, but my sister always laughs. If my...

          We just lost some of the most funny responses here because you thought they were stupid.

          My brother always rolls his eyes when I say something I think funny, but my sister always laughs. If my sister wasn't there, maybe I'll be like this, filtering what I say, but ultimately I like to embrace the silliness. Maybe there's tons of sisters here for you to make them laugh, we can't know yet.

          2 votes
    2. Kranerian
      Link Parent
      Same, and kicking myself mentally for my flaws counts too, right?

      Same, and kicking myself mentally for my flaws counts too, right?

      6 votes
  2. [5]
    worldasis
    Link
    I make miniature paper cranes. I've been making them for almost 30 years. I've without a doubt made 100's of thousands of paper cranes in my life. Everyone should fear my paper crane abilities.

    I make miniature paper cranes. I've been making them for almost 30 years. I've without a doubt made 100's of thousands of paper cranes in my life. Everyone should fear my paper crane abilities.

    21 votes
    1. [4]
      Akir
      Link Parent
      Did your wish come true?
      7 votes
      1. [3]
        worldasis
        Link Parent
        Ha! Yeah, I actually made 1000 for my wedding, and so far we're still married, and I'm happy with the life we're building together!

        Ha! Yeah, I actually made 1000 for my wedding, and so far we're still married, and I'm happy with the life we're building together!

        5 votes
        1. [2]
          Akir
          Link Parent
          That might legitimately be the most romantic thing I've ever heard of, seriously.

          That might legitimately be the most romantic thing I've ever heard of, seriously.

          3 votes
          1. worldasis
            Link Parent
            That's so kind of you to say! But, just to ruin the image for you a bit, I was also kazzooed down the aisle by all our friends and family. My spouse is sponsored by a kazoo company, so it was...

            That's so kind of you to say! But, just to ruin the image for you a bit, I was also kazzooed down the aisle by all our friends and family. My spouse is sponsored by a kazoo company, so it was quite fitting if not totally ridiculous.

            4 votes
  3. [3]
    Sodliddesu
    Link
    If we're talking a literal kick, front kick to a door, so as long as my opponent has a weak latch and opens inward, I should be good. If we're talking a metaphorical kick, justifying things when...

    If we're talking a literal kick, front kick to a door, so as long as my opponent has a weak latch and opens inward, I should be good.

    If we're talking a metaphorical kick, justifying things when asked 'why'. I can justify salt water to a freshwater fish. I'm great at playing the devil's advocate.

    16 votes
    1. godzilla_lives
      Link Parent
      Remember to kick directly beneath the door knob to dislodge the locking mechanism from the frame!

      Remember to kick directly beneath the door knob to dislodge the locking mechanism from the frame!

      8 votes
    2. MartinXYZ
      Link Parent
      I like that one. I'll try to remember it for future use. Thanks for teaching me a new expression!

      I can justify salt water to a freshwater fish.

      I like that one. I'll try to remember it for future use. Thanks for teaching me a new expression!

      1 vote
  4. [2]
    usrsu
    Link
    Pocket sand, followed by kicking his balls to Valhalla. It's actually quite an elegant maneuver but I don't know how to describe things good.

    Pocket sand, followed by kicking his balls to Valhalla. It's actually quite an elegant maneuver but I don't know how to describe things good.

    11 votes
    1. valar
      Link Parent
      I need to find an occasion where I can use this phrase

      kicking his balls to Valhalla.

      I need to find an occasion where I can use this phrase

      5 votes
  5. [3]
    mftrhu
    Link
    I know regular expressions. I could shove a person into a pipe and get only their pancreas out of the other end.

    I know regular expressions. I could shove a person into a pipe and get only their pancreas out of the other end.

    8 votes
    1. [2]
      adutchman
      Link Parent
      I have learned a bit of regex as well, it feels like knowing black magic.

      I have learned a bit of regex as well, it feels like knowing black magic.

      2 votes
      1. mftrhu
        Link Parent
        I keep on busting them out when there's editing to do at work, and people look at me like I'm a witch. Also take a (second, third, nth) look at awk, find, xargs, xml2, and the coreutils...

        I keep on busting them out when there's editing to do at work, and people look at me like I'm a witch.

        Also take a (second, third, nth) look at awk, find, xargs, xml2, and the coreutils documentation - they can be ridiculously effective when used together, and xml2/html2 - almost disappeared from the web, but still in Debian's repos - enable you to do web scraping right from the shell.

        3 votes
  6. [3]
    zompus
    Link
    "That's my purse!"
    13 votes
    1. godzilla_lives
      Link Parent
      Grateful for the occasional silly joke topic like this, because I can respond to this comment with: THAT'S MY PURSE. I DON'T KNOW YOU! "Bobby just skip to the fight."

      Grateful for the occasional silly joke topic like this, because I can respond to this comment with:

      THAT'S MY PURSE. I DON'T KNOW YOU!

      "Bobby just skip to the fight."

      7 votes
    2. thefilmslayer
      Link Parent
      My brother and I still use this reference frequently and it's great.

      My brother and I still use this reference frequently and it's great.

      1 vote
  7. [4]
    UP8
    Link
    The stepping stool kick from The Karate Kid, I really have won fights with that one. Overall I think fancy kicks are a bad idea, I will probably catch your leg if you try one on me.

    The stepping stool kick from The Karate Kid, I really have won fights with that one.

    Overall I think fancy kicks are a bad idea, I will probably catch your leg if you try one on me.

    3 votes
    1. [3]
      vagueallusion
      Link Parent
      See this brings up my kick: right leg snap kick fakey then once you grab it jump and spin horizontally bring my left leg around and hitting your left temple with heel. True story I did this once...

      See this brings up my kick: right leg snap kick fakey then once you grab it jump and spin horizontally bring my left leg around and hitting your left temple with heel.

      True story I did this once sparring however I only connected with my toes so he didn't let go. Landed on my head and almost broke my neck. I lost consciousness and woke up to a full body numb followed by pins and needles.

      2 votes
      1. [2]
        UP8
        Link Parent
        … there’s something to say for keeping your feet on the ground and having a good stance.

        … there’s something to say for keeping your feet on the ground and having a good stance.

        2 votes
        1. vagueallusion
          Link Parent
          Oh absolutely. There is also a lot to be said about keeping control of your appendages away from your opponents. Most sacrificial techniques are hail Marys at best. But that's what sparring of for.

          Oh absolutely. There is also a lot to be said about keeping control of your appendages away from your opponents. Most sacrificial techniques are hail Marys at best. But that's what sparring of for.

  8. chocobean
    Link
    There's probably a musical equivalent as well and I envy people who practice or can stick to something with dedication. You can be One Kick Man :)

    There's probably a musical equivalent as well and I envy people who practice or can stick to something with dedication.

    You can be One Kick Man :)

    3 votes
  9. DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link
    Asking someone if they're suicidal (and then the whole conversation of providing support and such after). Probably not worth being afraid of me for, but it's apparently unsettling to folks who are...

    Asking someone if they're suicidal (and then the whole conversation of providing support and such after). Probably not worth being afraid of me for, but it's apparently unsettling to folks who are anxious about addressing mental health concerns

    3 votes
  10. felixakiragreen
    Link
    I practice Brazilian Jiujitsu and my “one-kick” is the triangle. Since Sep 2020 I’ve tracked 222 triangle submissions. It’s common to learn and practice a variety of submissions, but after I fell...

    I practice Brazilian Jiujitsu and my “one-kick” is the triangle. Since Sep 2020 I’ve tracked 222 triangle submissions. It’s common to learn and practice a variety of submissions, but after I fell in love with triangles, it’s the only one I go for. It’s definitely not the best way to play, but I don’t compete, and I keep learning more and getting better, especially as others get better at defending them.

    3 votes
  11. zod000
    Link
    I'm trying to think of something that isn't totally common like "man, I can sit in a chair so well!" and I think I have it. The "hadouken" move from Street Fighter 2 on a gamepad. I've been doing...

    I'm trying to think of something that isn't totally common like "man, I can sit in a chair so well!" and I think I have it. The "hadouken" move from Street Fighter 2 on a gamepad. I've been doing that move in games for decades (oof) now and I can still bust it out in any random game that makes use of it and not feel totally useless.

    2 votes
  12. GunnarRunnar
    Link
    Probably a jump from somewhere really, really high right to their face. Like 'I'll almost kill myself too' high. That constitutes as a kick, right? Just needs to succeed on the first try, can't be...

    Probably a jump from somewhere really, really high right to their face. Like 'I'll almost kill myself too' high. That constitutes as a kick, right?

    Just needs to succeed on the first try, can't be trying that 10 000 times, I have bad knees.

    1 vote
  13. [3]
    boxer_dogs_dance
    Link
    Does this fit better in combat sports group? Interesting question though.

    Does this fit better in combat sports group? Interesting question though.

    1. [2]
      shrek
      Link Parent
      At first I thought that the intended goal of the post was to discuss something that we've practiced a lot, and not necessarily just about kicks

      At first I thought that the intended goal of the post was to discuss something that we've practiced a lot, and not necessarily just about kicks

      2 votes
      1. boxer_dogs_dance
        Link Parent
        You might not be wrong. Definitely ambiguous lol.

        You might not be wrong. Definitely ambiguous lol.

        1 vote
  14. Hamartia
    Link
    Padding out the pre-fight introduction with a parenthetical life-story so that he forgets the violence.

    Padding out the pre-fight introduction with a parenthetical life-story so that he forgets the violence.

  15. Woeps
    Link
    I got two very basic Judo throws that served me well in competitions. And one of them actually also got me out of that one IRL-fight I had during my life time. But otherwise my one kick would be...

    I got two very basic Judo throws that served me well in competitions.
    And one of them actually also got me out of that one IRL-fight I had during my life time.

    But otherwise my one kick would be de-escalating situations, specially useful when being abroad and you don't know how many of the locals would jump in.

  16. ctrlaltdelete
    Link
    I would avoid a mans jack arm.

    I would avoid a mans jack arm.