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Saying hello!
It's empty in here, so I figured I'd break the ice. Hi. I'm "Albinanigans" bumbling around (and a recent deflector from Reddit... but you probably guessed that). I am a transgender non-binary Black person who likes to ramble on the Internet.
I have a question for the floor: what do you do for gender affirmation? What gives you gender euphoria?
My answer: I recently received a hysterectomy, and it was pretty affirming! It is one less thing to cause dysphoria. I also like mixing and matching femme and masc clothing in my outfit.
So, yeah, happy to be here! Hope to talk more soon.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Welcome! I'm happy you're here! :>
These are really tricky questions, as I haven't really experienced much euphoria from my gender exploration? Much of my journey has been focused on taking away dysphoria (e.g. through laser hair removal on my face, as a transfemme person) rather than seeking euphoria.
It's like... even though I take comfort in moving away from my assigned gender at birth, I haven't really figured out which gender identity I'm actually moving... towards? That's something I hope to experiment a little more with as the months and years go on. :>
In retrospect, I could've worded something to also include "what takes away your dysphoria?" because that's important, too.
And take time to experiment! There's no wrong way to gender. Or in my case, not gender. :lol:
I find wearing clothing of the gender I wish to identify as, with people who treat me kindly is all that I feel is necessary at the moment. I don't necessarily feel uncomfortable with my body. Other than that, it sounds silly but anything pink. I recently bought a Energel Alloy RT pen, and it feels so smooth to write with genuinely a really nice pen. But what makes me happiest about it is that I bought a pink one not a normal silver or black one. My parents never would have allowed me to own something so blatantly "gendered". They would feel that I am a man so I should act like one, and men don't like pink apparently in their eyes. Feels like each pink item I purchase is an act of revolt, a sign that it doesn't matter what they think.
I love this. Pink is a fantastic color! And now I want one of those pens.
IIRC you're the second person to say "being treated with kindness," and that is so important too.
I’ve long inlined my gender affirmation protocols to the point I don’t think about them, I just do them without thinking. I brush my hair, pull my ponytail, and otherwise play with my hair when I’m distressed or in need of self-soothing. My wardrobe has been relatively complete in the styles that I do want (forest elf maiden aesthetic) that it’s just cute clothes that express my feelings or whatever statement I want to make about myself.
I occasionally get gender euphoria from being treated decently lol. A lifetime of feeling uncomfortable, alienated and isolated just doesn’t magically go away even after successfully “getting a life” for me.
Still, when I’m feeling down, I know that standing in front of a mirror naked will make me smile at how I’m finally there. How the past four and a half years has been a mad frenzy to speed run metamorphosis and now I’m just me. The way I should’ve been.
That's really awesome to hear! And yes, even the "little things" like just brushing your hair are great!
Affirmation has no size requirement. :D
Congratulations!
I received an orchiectomy on Friday so I think I know how you feel! Despite us going in opposite ways kind of. It's such a relieving feeling and yeah, definitely affirming! What's recovery like after a hysterectomy?
It's been pretty... chill so far! It helps to keep up with the pain meds. And it feels like I'm bouncing back pretty quickly-- not up to full strength, but I am walking around with no moderate pain.
And yes, fistbump in solidarity! Another strong feeling besides affirmation was relief.
Good to hear you're doing well! My experience is pretty chill too, mostly on account of all the ice packs I'm using tho 😅
I'm very bad at anatomy (so bad in fact that a biology teacher once told me to "go home and google it, it's real fucking simple" lol) so forgive me if it's an ignorant question. But does a hysterectomy mean that the production of estrogen in your body has now been removed? Because that's one of the main points of an orchiectomy for me - to remove the production of testosterone - and I am wondering if that's one of the main reasons for your surgery too?
That's a pretty good question! While I had a total hysterectomy (uterus, tubes, cervix removed), my ovaries remained so I can continue getting the hormones. I had the procedure because bleeding once a month was not only more trouble than it's worth, but caused some dysphoria.
Hello and welcome! It sounds like you're in the fun part of transitioning where things are happening and you're exploring your identity.
I don't have much to say about your other questions. It's been a long time since I was in the same place as where you are so I've just integrated what is gender affirming into my day to day life without thinking about it much.
I don't think I'll ever stop exploring! And it has been fun and very interesting, indeed.
Every now and then I just sit and ponder how I'm feeling, gender-wise. My surgery was a big step so I've been doing a lot of pondering. The initial and strongest feeling was relief, but affirmation is another feeling that's been bubbling up to be accepted.
Hello and welcome :D I don't have a lot of comments but wanted to read everyone's.
I think maybe getting "pretty" things? Whether they're well made or fashionable or classic or sparkly or posh or indulges in a bit of vanity (at a good price), certain decorations on my person or environment makes me happy because they're "pretty". Even if they were not usually marketed towards / owned by people of my gender, or downright not "allowed" to own, I like to celebrate good design and beauty by owning / surrounding myself with some small bits of what's beautiful. It makes me feel good, maybe in the way an anemone crab feels about its unique arrangement of venomous decor >:)
Funny enough, sometimes getting things marketed towards people OF my gender can feel a little brave and affirming: I believe in non-restrictive gender expression for everyone. If one wants to own things that are not gender normative, go for it! But if they want things that are gender normative, I want to celebrate their free choice as well.
I totally understand that. If I like how it looks, I'll wear it, and I gravitate toward the kitzy rainbow retro pretty stuff myself.
And I agree!
Hiee and thanks for the invite, @albinanigans! <3
Congratulations on the procedure, the gender-affirming-ness of it, and kicking ass vis-à-vis body-autonomy!
Answer: Clothing and nail polish are presently a big part of gender affirmation and euphoria for me, as are my pronouns (they/them) and having friends, partners, family, community, coworkers, etc using them. Growing in my gender identity (non-binary) and expressing it however TF i want is affirming to me. Surrounding myself with people who really "see" me, accept me, and understand the authentic me --especially with ease, as opposed to correcting/reminding/educating them-- is also very important to me and actually provides some external gender euphoria 🥰. I LOVE being ALL of my authentic self around my peoples and the freedom and euphoria that brings 🥰!
Hi @albinanigans, welcome!
If you'd prefer, you're welcome to post something like this in the recent ~lgbt Introductions thread—it hasn't had any activity in a few days, but posting in it would bump it back up to the top and might start it up again.
(Continuing this topic instead is totally fine, especially since you asked some specific questions that are a little different, just wanted to mention it as an option if you want to try revitalizing that thread)
Hey, I can do both!! Thank you for the link; I'm still finding my footing here.